Hate This Place
by RedHeadedPixieGrunger
Summary: Both their fathers were at war with eachother. Always have been. Then an act of revenge changes the lives of the two people caught in the middle. Can they ignore the feelings they've developed for one another before they are made to choose leading to drastic consequences. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N...This is my first ever fic on here so please be nice. All I can say is, it won't be your typical PunkLee story :)**

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"...and finally, the father of missing New Jersey woman, April Jeanette Mendez, has today publicly declared he believes rival businessman, Jack Brooks, owner of a chain of nightclubs in New Jersey and Chicago, is involved in her disappearance.. Miss Mendez, who was 25 yesterday, was forcibly removed from the premises of her fathers night club, Azucar, as she locked up on Tuesday night. Mr. Brooks was voluntarily questioned yesterday and so far, police are satisfied with his non-involvement. However, Mr. Mendez and his son, have stressed that Jack Brooks was never a business rival, and his reputation as a violent, scheming and vengeful man is extremely well publicised in "underground circles."

Mr Mendez himself vanished from the lives of both his children for over fourteen years, presumed dead after Mr Brooks himself, ordered his execution. He took exile in Puerto Rico and only returned to his hometown when the falsified news of Mr. Brooks' own demise reached him. Says Mr Mendez, in a statement issued this morning; "My Princess has been taken for revenge. There is no doubt in my mind that Jack Brooks and his associates are... displeased at my reappearance in the world of the living. The fact I had to hide for so many years means I know there's no way to reason with these men. So they have stolen away the most precious girl in all my world, just to hurt me and my family. I will give them anything they want. I just beg, please... that they do not harm my daughter. I just want my Princess home. Stay strong, Princess. We love you".

April forced her eyes shut, blinking back tears as the colours died away from the TV screen. But even then, she couldn't miss the way the robust man lurking menancingly in the corner, was smirking, proud to see the way she weakened. She bristled immediately, holding on to her father's words. _Stay strong._ If she didn't, she knew she was as good as dead. Not that any such threats had come. In fact, there'd been nothing to suggest she was a hostage and not a hotel guest, apart from the fact she had a very moralless someone twice her height and twice her weight stationed outside her door if she dared to head towards it. So she hadn't. No, AJ had stayed curled up against the large bed she had been shoved roughly against two nights ago. She'd long since abandoned looking out the window, the colour of the thunderous sky making her feel even more out of will. And besides, it had taken precisely thirty seconds of visual assessment to realise she had absolutely no idea where she was. She wouldn't have even known she was still in her home country, had she not been forced to watch all the local news announcements that concerned her.

"Enjoy that little piece did you, April? Very moving I thought"

Instinctively, AJ scowled. He made her flesh crawl more and more. She'd always been suspicious of him, hated him even, especially from the moment she believed her dad was gone from her forever. And now, she was terrified it was to be the other way round at the self same hands. And she couldn't let him see it or she knew he'd delight in making her feel every second of physical pain. But then of course, it was wasn't really her that he wanted to hurt.

"What's it gonna take Jack?" she demanded in a low hiss.

Jack tilted his head back, laughing high and cold. "Always good to be kept in the loop, April, I like it."

"Well, c'mon then!"

He pursed his lips warningly as he levelled his gaze, causing AJ to shiver in repulsion as his pale yet sharp green eyes burnt into her own, eager to seek out her fear, to feed from it. But at that moment, he was too impressed by her demanding tone. He didn't like it, and intended to let her know it, but still he was impressed. AJ had guts her piteous father had never displayed.

"Careful now-" Jack advised in that deceptively soothing tone. "-I don't think I like what you're getting at. What do you think I'm gonna do April? Slice off each of your fingers and send them home to Daddy?"

AJ recoiled, backed up so hard against the wall as she curled up on the bed that the ridges of her spine were throbbing painfully. But she ignored it, just as she hoped she might learn to ignore everything that was presently happening around her. But Jack refused to remain just a presence and moved steadily over to sink down upon the mattress. His hand snaked over to claim one of AJs' own, quaking all the more violently as he fought to uncurl each rigid fingertip, stroking down them to separate each finger.

"You have beautiful nails. Shame about the black eh? Very..classy. Oh dear, I hope this little... holiday... won't inconvenience your appointment shedule? Nothing more unattractive than a woman with peeling cuticles..."

"Don't _touch_ me!" AJ spat, wrenching herself away. "What do you **want **for God's sake?"

Another smirk mocked her as it sprang up in the corner of Jacks' rough lips, that brush of great hair overhanging the top one. "Oh I have everything I _want_ right here, thank you very much..."

An icy sweep rocketed through AJs tense body. She had understood the suggestion in Brooks' tone she thought, and she felt sick with fear. Surely she was wrong? Jack Brooks, he prided himself on his approach, even to the darkest of activities. Surely he was not so common a criminal as to kidnap a woman, any woman, AJ supposed frightfully, just to...

"...because I've certainly got Daddys attention haven't I?"

AJ hated that she could not hold back her terrified tears, hated even more how they burnt at her skin as they slid slowly down her face. Jack seemed to draw some perverse pleasure out of watching the journey of each miserable droplet.

Her throat feeling immediately raw, she murmured; "What are you going to do to me?"

"_Do?_" Brooks echoed, his broad back straightening in a jolt. He sounded pretty affronted, and AJ was made even more queasy, especially as flecks of spit hit her face. "What sort of man do you think I am?"

She spat out a bitter laugh in reply. "You've _kidnapped_ me, Jack. You tried to kill my dad and gave him no choice but to desert his own family. I don't think you're a _man _at all."

"Well, well-" he answered quietly, sucking in an apprehensive breath. "-we're not all that grateful, are we April?" She opened her mouth to vehemently protest, but Jack lifted a finger to silence her. "We could have done this the usual way you know. Grubby warehouse in the middle of nowhere, you tied to a pillar, weeks of grime in your hair, sitting in your own _filth_. But I thought no, a lady deserves more, especially on her _birthday_."

"_This_ is more?" AJ shrieked angrily. "I'm dragged from my home, from my family, with no reason, no explanation. I'm a **prisoner**."

"Oh yes." Jack nodded sombrely, lacing his hands together. "We mustn't forget that. Chez Brooks, Cava, soft pillows... oh it's tragic."

"You have **no **idea..."

"No." he agreed again, sighing breathily as he pulled himself up. "I admit, I don't. Got to make that father of yours sweat a little bit. But don't worry, April, my boys will look after you."

"I know what "looking after" means to your sort." she hissed accusingly.

Eyes wide, Jack again was impressed. "_My_ sort?" he echoed. "Now, now, April! I'm not about to kill you and I resent the suggestion. Deeply. Killing's so... _unnecessary_. Let's keep it that way shall we?"

His piercing eyes flashed and AJ read danger, biting into her lip to keep herself quiet as she cast her eyes down to the duvet. Because she knew that Jack Brooks deemed nothing unnecessary in reality.

"Do you want my dad? Is that was this is? Because you know... he'd be here like a shot, he'd let you do whatever you wanted..."

Jack listened steadily. "Have you ever played Trivial Pursuit?" he asked in a humoured whisper as soon as AJ stopped speaking. She jolted at his odd reply.

"_What?_"

"Can't stand the flamin' thing myself." Jack shrugged with a sneer. "It's all too easy. And I'm sure you'll agree April, it's no fun winning if the game wasn't a challenge. The last thing I want is your old man making it easy on me. I'd be disappointed if he dared. I intend to enjoy this. Good night."

Without giving AJ the chance to say a word, Jack swept from the room, the door seemingly opening on his approach and leaving the equally well dressed if not much slender neanderthal stationed on the other side of the door as AJs own personal guardsmen, to hold it open for his Boss' departure. A wordless understanding seemed to happen between the two of them that AJ could not decipher as Jack went by and his charge stepped inside the room, stood tall against the wall and leaving his Boss to snap the door decidedly shut.

Listening to Jack's hefty footsteps die away along the landing for a few seconds, AJ threw herself back against the bed, screaming in frustration as fresh tears drenched the pillow her angry fists pounded at.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N.. Thank you for the reviews. They are extremely welcome :)**

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"What the **fuck** are _you _looking at?" she roared at her guardian as she rolled helplessly over onto her side. He flinched at her savageness and she sniffled a little less as she sat up again. "Zack... that's your name isn't it?"

He flinched again, his composure entirely shattered as he turned his head to look quizzically at her.

Taking that as nothing more than confirmation, AJ scooted to the edge of the bed, swinging her bare feet back and forth. "You look how I feel. Assuming that you feel too of course. Can't be too sure given your line of work."

Zack looked hesitantly away and remained silent.

"Wow." AJ observed, hunching her shoulders as she continued to look at him. "This could get boring quickly. I mean, how long am I going to be here, Zack? Oh c'mon, speak will you? Or are you struggling with the number of syllables?"

At that question, Zacks attention was begrudgingly refocussed. "You take the piss."

"Yeah, well, you take hostages so..." And she shrugged, dismissing him. But he was quickly defensive.

"I didn't... I wouldn't..." But he seemed to realise instantly he had said too much and scowled again, biting hard into his lip as he returned to silence. But AJ had heard everything she needed to.

"You're new..." she said gently. "Not quite made of stone yet eh? You never broken someone's kneecaps then Zack? Fired a gun? Ah... I always thought Jack got them young. Well never mind, got a lot to teach you, he has. Really must be something in the taste of blood for Jack."

AJ was sure she saw Zacks lip quiver, and he was pretty certain of it too, so much so that the only colour left in it was from blood. Sighing heavily, he abandoned his rigid stance and sank down on the bed beside AJ. Unlike with Jack, she made no effort to escape his proximity. She was too taken by him. He was evidently so young, and yet aged so much by his haggard face. Where anger would have burnt once in his eyes, strong enough to make Jack enthuse so about his prospects, tiredness and misunderstanding reigned. Just like AJ, he looked as though he was somewhere he definitely didn't want to be.

"Aren't you scared?"

"Why?" AJ returned softly. "Are you supposed to make me that way? Because if you are, then we might as well skip the preamble."

But Zacks eyes shimmered sincerely as he shook his head. "If I knew what he was going do, I'd tell you. But I don't, I really don't. You're a character though, aren't you? Think he likes that you're not a pushover."

"Am I supposed to be _flattered?_"

"No." Zack blustered guiltily, looking down. "I'm just saying... I don't think he will hurt you."

Relief momentarily flooded through AJ. She believed him. Maybe cos there was little else to believe in right now and besides Jack's, Zack's had been the only constant face in her life since the night she had been bundled in one painful blur from the club. All she could remember were gruff voices, screams that had probably been her own as she had tried to fight them off, as the walls began to spin. She'd thought they were just after the takings until... well until she had been forced into the back of a car, made to walk by having one of them kick repeatedly at the backs of her legs, a gun pressed into the small of her back, and a heavily gloved hand clamped to her mouth to put pay to any ideas she might have had about screaming.

She might have tried it if she hadn't been so terrified, barely breathing, her chest so tight as a nervous sweat broke out upon her feverish skin that she could barely breathe. She'd been forced to lie down on the backseat, the gun still pressed threateningly into her shuddering body. She could still feel the cool metal as if it had never been pulled back from her form. She had never been so terrified in all her life, the only mercy in that fact being that she was indeed too terrified to even think where all this madness had sprung from. These men had come for her undoubtedly - they hadn't even gone near the till which, since she'd had time to think about it, seemed pretty idiotic to AJ. Shouldn't they at least have tried to disguise the obviousness of her abduction?

But then of course, no. Jack wanted her fathers attention. And even she had to admit, this was one fantastically obvious way of getting it. But what could Jack want from him? The thrill of the chase, procuring the kill? Was he to be the victim in AJs place? Oh she didn't know, was made too sick to think on it, especially as she looked upon Zack.

She was right. He _did_ look how she felt. Fragile. And AJ found, strangely, that there was another part of her able to hate Jack of Zacks behalf. Because whatever happened to her, and the hundreds of others Jack would no doubt find himself in the future, he would also still be looking for the brawn, the help, the muscle, and honing in on weaknesses in men like Zack and turning them into... _killers?_ Was he to become AJs own any day soon? Even while considering the likelihood of it, she pitied the man sat beside her, even as fear squirmed in her stomach.

"Well, you best hope so eh? Cos my guess is, you'll be the lucky guy that gets to do it, and by the looks of it, you're not ready just yet. I think I like that about you, Zack. Yeah, I think I do."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N...Ok I had 3 chapters already completed so I thought I would just put them out there. Plus this kind of follows on from chapter 2 :)**

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11pm

Pushing down the lid of the box that just a few minutes ago housed a perfectly folded cerise silk nightdress and matching sash dressing gown, hand-delivered by Zack at half past nine just in case she "was ready to get her head down", AJ settled back on the bed, calling gently; "I'm dressed now, Zack..."

The door-handle tweaked as his pressure from the other side forces it down, sliding back into the room, with the smallest smile. He should smile more often, he looks better for it, she considered. Since they'd dared to begin talking, they hadn't really stopped. She was well aware he could be lying to her, and she'd told him she was prepared to accept the probablity of it too. That was when he gave her his saddest smile. But when she answered his questions or just spoke about herself, AJ chose to speak the truth. She didn't see a reason not to. If it was Zack that was going to have to come to her, hands shaking no doubt and kill her, then mightn't he just as well know the truth of the person whose life he would be stealing?

Zack however, did not look murderous in the slightest. His features had softened a lot, were a lot less dark and tired, as if he was unburdened in some way. He'd chosen not to speak of the brutalities of his work, instead told her about himself. He was known as the Karate Kid, because he'd apparantly been the youngest person in the county to acquire a black belt. That settled AJ a bit, made Zack look a lot less vulnerable. He could obviously handle himself well with that kind of credit to his name. So she wondered what could make him so afraid of Jack? And fear was all it could be. She refused to believe respect could feature in any way when Jack thought nothing of these men.

In Zacks case, it was nothing like that. Apparantly, Jack had romanced Zacks mother. The idea of anyone being taken in by Jack in such a way made AJ nauseous. But still, the level of their conversation definitely made her feel compassion for him, and a lot less frightened and lonely in his company too. He listened intently as she confessed how worried she was for her father and her brothers state of mind at the moment. To know in herself that she was fine, being treated as well as this was not enough, not while she knew how frantic her family would be. She'd tried not to cry, but the tears had overcome her and Zack, of course powerless to help, had mumbled something about needing to get back outside.

But there he was now, having obediently stepped outside to allow AJ the privacy to change when she was pretty sure any other watchman would have leered over her readily, and he came forward, his step as rushed as his speech.

"Zack, slow down... what?"

"They can't know I've got it, you understand? You have to be quick."

Hastily, he pulled a phone from his deep pocket. AJs mouth hung agape in wonderment as he pressed it into her shaking hands.

"Call your Dad. Let him know you're OK."

Grateful tears welled in her eyes and she stretched up on her toes to wrap her arms tight around Zacks neck.

"Thank you..." she whispered sincerely against his ear.

"Don't worry about that." he said dismissively as he pushed her gently back on to the balls of her feet. "Just... make sure you withhold the number alright or I am so much more than a dead man."

Realising how implicitly he meant those last few chilling words, AJ nodded anxiously, head already bowed to stab at the keys as he moved back and sank onto the bed, watching her pace as the call connected.

"Yep?" her father enquired, with the heaviest of sighs that told her he hadn't slept from the moment she was gone.

But oh, just to hear his voice, she tremored all the more, a lump swelling painfully in her throat as she whispered tenderly; "Dad, it's me..."

"Princess?" he barked desperately, alert now for nothing but the fear that he might lose her again as unexpectedly as she had come. "Who's there with you Princess, is... is Brooks there? Oh... _April!_"

"It's alright!" she soothed. "I swear to you, I'm alright. Please don't worry about me. Go to sleep. Both of you. It'll be alright. I love you."

Those last three words had robbed her of breath and she began to choke. She could hear her fathers calls for her response fizzing away in the handset but she simply could not placate him. Zack leapt up and wrenched the phone from her hand, ending the call and helping her straighten out so that she might force some much needed air into her lungs. He went into the bathroom to get her some water as he advised her to get comfortable on the bed. He could still hear how she was struggling to breathe as he went back and handed her the glass. She took it gratefully into her shaking hands and tried to sip at it. Zack felt the need to lean forward and support her. Guilt was kicking at him on the inside as he drew back, dropping the covers over AJs upper body.

"It didn't help, did it?" he questioned mournfully.

But she wriggled round as she scooched her head into the pillow and smiled softly. "I think I'll sleep tonight."

"Good." he smiled back and pushed himself up from the bed, leaving the half-drunk glass of water on the bedside table and then going across the room to the door, turning out the light. "Night." And he stepped back out into the corridor, supposing that AJ was asleep before the door clicked shut, leaving her in the complete darkness.

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**2AM**

When AJ had fallen asleep hardly mattered. How well she had slept (which was very well, thanks to the bizarre comfort the phone call home had given her) was now too inconsequential. Because the thrashing and painful thudding and angry yelling, no, they weren't confined to her sub-conscious. The darkness in which she found herself was not that or her mind, but of the room itself. It was all real. The thudding was making the wall reverberate and was always followed by a painful yell that made AJ wince. Her head still fuzzy from a little of that much needed sleep, she groped around on the bedside table to flick the switch of the lamp - but instead found her hand colliding forcefully with a glass that with a very rebellious splatter, decided to empty its contents over the side of the little table and onto the carpet.

She cursed beneath her breath, and as the yelling from the landing intensified, she pulled back the duvet and swung her legs to the floor, promptly placing her feet in the wet patch created by the water. She shivered as it seeped through the skin of her toes, but was up too quickly to really register it, flying blindly across the room, slamming into the light switch there and pulling open the door.

"Zack?"

He was indeed still out on the landing. But he was not keeping watch anymore. Oh no. For the pained yells were his, and rightfully so. He was being dragged across the landing by four of Brooks' most sour and blood-thirsty henchmen, being beaten in any way and anywhere he could be struck as they went along. Fear beat immediately, making the whole of AJs body tense. It was her senses that seemed to scream for her as she bolted forward.

"_Zack!_ **Zack!** Oh my God, what are you- **stop** it! Leave him _alone!_ **Zack!**"

She was determined to go after them, but a fifth bully AJ had not registered as the furious hot tears blurred her vision, stepped into her path, holding her back with large arms covered in an array of tattoos, almost sounding amused as he said; "Uh, no... I don't think so, darlin'!"

"Get the fuck **off** me!" she yelled, fighting against his restraint as still Zack suffered, his torment almost gone from AJs view. "They're **killing **him, can't you see they're-"

"'Another drama queen? Jebus, He knows how to pick them."

"A _drama queen_?" AJ spat viciously as she looked up into his face for the first time and found her palms were itching to smack that smug look right off his face. "Didn't you see what they were _doing _to him? They were... why were they...? He was supposed to be... looking after me!"

"Yeah." came the dry reply. "Definitely been looking after you, hasn't he, April?"

She flinched. "How do you know my name? Who the Hell _are_ you?"

But the stranger seemed oddly amused by her venom and nodded towards the room she had flown from in such a panic. "Get back in there and I'll tell you. You don't and... oooh, it won't be pretty."

"Why?" she demanded. "I get a beating too, do I?"

His face darkened, the corners of his thin lips sinking dramatically. "Do you mind?" he snapped hotly back. "I **do**know where the fuckin' line lies!"

"Yeah? In Zacks skull someplace?"

"Oh, I like you." he observed smoothly. "You're quick, that's good."

"Yeah? Well, **you're** a fuckin' _animal_. Go and wash the blood off your hands, you spineless _shit_."

"Oooh, got some flair too. This gets better and better."

"You know what? Men like you make me sick"

"Oh stop it, you're making me blush!"

Unable to retain her anger, AJ raised her palm to strike him across the face. But he caught her wrist a moment before contact and the corner of his mouth rose again into that intolerable smirk.

"Getting physical already? Well, well, aren't I the lucky one?"

"Take - your - hands - **off**- me!" she hissed demandingly.

"Well, that's not very polite is it April? Seems to me you couldn't wait to have yours all over me. Not that I'm going to complain of course..."

AJ tore herself from his loosened grasp in disgust and turned away back into her room, bile rising in her throat and tears stinging readily in her eyes as she considered the agonising state poor Zack must have been in by now. She crashed mindlessly through to the bathroom, scrabbling at a roll of toilet tissue to dab at her eyes. They stung too as they adjusted to the bright light she had forced into the room by pulling on the cord. It was then she froze. The mobile Zack had allowed her to use to call home was sat abandoned next to the cold tap.

"Didn't want to call home again did you?"

Frightfully, she whirled around to meet the intrusion of the stranger, leant casually against the doorframe, watching her. It made AJ shiver slightly in repulsion. She felt too exposed at the moment.

"I don't remember asking you in here." she hissed in reply. But again, this was somehow comical.

"Yeah well, you're not calling the shots now that lovely little Zacks been... displaced are you, April?"

This time, her stomach did most definitely jolt she was so sickened by his words, by the sight of him, whoever he might have been - she hated him anyway because he appeared to be revelling so much in Zacks agony.

"Is that why he's been... beaten to within an inch of his life? Because I made a _phone call_?"

"No." the stranger assured her with a simple shake of the head. A beat of silence followed and then AJ was at last offered explanation. "Because he _let _you make a phone call." He mocked a sad look as she recoiled in horror. "Our Zack's been a very silly boy..."

AJs mouth went dry. "Are they... Are they going to kill him?"

His burst of laughter was cold. "I don't know what you've been watching darlin'..."

Hatred twisted her stomach. "You just don't **care**, do you? You couldn't give a fuck whether he lives or dies!"

"There are worse ways to go, sweetheart."

She balked, disgusted by his flippancy. "Do you even know who you're talking to?"

"Oh yeah." the stranger grinned, apparantly proud to have such information to bestow. "Everyone knows who you are, April. Mendezs' daughter, right?"

Yeah... so I was alone half my life thinking my father was by murdered by that Bastard Brooks. I've seen the worst, _sweetheart_, but it doesn't make what animals like you do to the likes of Zack any better! You're evil... I hope you've made Jack proud." She offered a tight smile and made to shove past, but he stood in her way. She tilted her head up, looking defiantly into his cold eyes. "Or maybe _you_haven't huh? I mean, what did you do? Stood at the side, never actually getting your hands dirty!"

With a scoff, he rolled his eyes. "Make your bloody mind up. One minute you're screaming your head off because poor little Zack gets what's coming and the next... you're having a go because I wasn't the one that dished it!"

"Gets what's coming? Do you even _hear _yourself? It was a twenty second phone call!"

"There are rules round here, Miss Mendez. Zack knows that."

"Or at least he will by the time he's had both his legs broken! Where do you get off on that? He's the same age as me, he's just a young guy for God's sake."

The stranger's face darkened again as he muttered; "We all had to start somewhere, sometime, sweetheart."

"Well your mother must be so fuckin' _proud!_"

AJ flinched as the words left her mouth, sure she'd seen his tattooed knuckles flex angrily before he hastily rammed his fists deep into his pockets and turned wordlessly from the room, his eyes stormy and... frightening. She had said something wrong, most definitely, the door slamming furiously after the stranger's departure. And she was left alone in the middle of the lit room, shaking ever so slightly in her flimsy nightdress before she managed to pull herself together and decide to clamber into the bed as soon as she had turned the light out.

But the darkness seemed to terrify her more, taunting her as that one face refused to leave her mind, leave her to sleep. She could not get comfortable, finding that somehow, she was disgusted at herself, without quite knowing what she had done. But she knew, especially with what she had seen happen to poor Zack that whatever it was had been too much. Fear caused her to hate the stranger more. She was adamant she didn't want to see him again. His eyes had been too cold, and his laughter too warm as he had mocked Zacks agony. AJ held the scrunched duvet in her fist, feeling her tears soak through the material. For the first time, she was afraid. She hoped she'd never see the stranger again. She only wanted to see Zack.

_Please be OK, Zack... __**Please**__ be OK..._


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you :)**

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The knocking at the door went through AJs throbbing head like a pneumatic drill, but at least it pulled her readily from her stupour. She had fallen asleep a little after 6am, and didn't feel any better for the hours that had passed. But hope swelled in her tight chest as she pushed back the heavy duvet. She'd only known one person to knock at the door for the whole time she had been here.

"Zack?" she called out croakily.

The doorhandle went down willingly. AJs heart began to pound a little faster than she could bear.

"Uh, no..."

She recoiled immediately in disgust. "Get out."

He shrugged. "Can't. Jack asked me to make sure you're OK."

Her shrill cold laughter bounced from the ceiling. "Does he actually think I can be OK? What _is _OK to you lot eh? All four limbs attached? Oh yeah, then I'm peachy."

The corner of his mouth lifted into an insincere smile and he turned away, closing the door with a decided click. AJ blinked in surprise, pretty sure she'd asked him to leave.

"He's alright."

AJ frowned in confusion.

"Zack."

A cold chill went through the woman as his name was mentioned, her lips quivering as she fought to repeat it. But her attempts were fruitless. "You'd care would you?" she hissed scathingly.

He only blinked and returned steadily; "I thought you might. Made it to the ER about 5, yeah? He'll be fine."

"Then what?" She demanded. "You welcome him back into the family, just to tear him apart again?"

Shoulders hunched, he replied, "Listen Miss Mendez, you get made to pay for your mistakes around here, OK? It isn't pretty but that's just the way it is. Zack tows the line from now on, there isn't gonna be any more trouble."

But AJ didn't believe him. "How you could _do _that..."

"Me? Nah, don't want to get my hands dirty do I? I was just there to keep you out of it. Can't risk marking the goods can we?"

Scowling, AJ looked away. This left him to shake his head in disbelief.

"Wow, Jack's right about you? You really are an ungrateful little bitch."

"_Excuse_ me? What the Hell is there to be grateful **for?**"

"Golden Boy's alive isn't he?" he snapped back without hesitation. "I didn't have to tell you that... in fact, it'll probably cost me a few fractures too, but I thought, nah, the woman's had it rough, give her a break, Punk, and what do I get?"

"No more than you deserve!"

"Hey, I could have let you throw yourself into that last night. Wouldn't be looking at quite such a pretty face then would I?"

"That's right." AJ hissed, nodding in repulsed understanding. "Because all I am right now is a piece of meat right?"

He laughed again. "You really don't have any idea do you? Jack's keeping you like a fuckin' queen and right now, I havn't got a fuckin' clue why! You're not meat darlin', no way. You're mink. If all Jack wanted from your old man was a pound of flesh, he'd have just had you killed straight off, left you on the floor of that bloody club of yours. But here you are, lap of luxury yeah and Jack, he isn't batting an eyelid."

AJ gulped down her mistrust, fear shaking her once again. "Wh-Why not?"

"Going through what you have sweetheart, I can't believe you're so _naive_." He tilted his head to the side and simpered mockingly as he studied her intently. "It's kinda sweet, really."

"Just tell me what he wants. Please."

Punk sank down on the edge of the bed, smile broader as AJ flinched, gathering up the thrown back duvet to cover herself. He leant forward and in a low and daunting whisper, still chewing his gum and said; "Bit of a ladykiller is Jack."

AJs stomach lurched unfavourably and she pressed her hand over her mouth.

"Hmmm..." Punk observed, nodding slowly as his gaze lingered on her. "I'm guessing you're not up to breakfast then?"

"Oh trust me..." She hissed savagely, eyes narrowed in contempt as she pushed her hair back and forced herself to look at him. "...I'd sooner starve. I'd rather _die _than take anything from animals like you."

"Still gutsy eh? I like that. Shame it won't last."

"Going to break me into as many pieces as Zack are you, Well c'mon then!"

He frowned at her, shaking his head at an odd angle. "Don't give me reason to hurt you, Miss Mendez. I don't want to do that."

"What?" she goaded sharply. "Am I not _good _enough now? You and that pack of wolves can tear Zack to shreds, but I get dragged from my home for some sort of revenge and you... won't even lay a finger on me? You know what..Punk, you're a disappointment to your trade."

"You reckon?" he threw back dangerously. "You can think what you want, sweetie, you don't matter to me."

"So make it easy on yourself. No-one else here is there? And I... I don't think you like me very much..."

"Not much gets past you, does it?"

"Well, no. Because you're still here. And I'm probably getting right on your last nerve. What happens when you flip, Punk? And what kind of a name is 'Punk' anyway? Actually..yeah it seems fitting!"

"Alright!" he barked hotly, leaping up and rounding on her. "Get it into your head, I'm not here to hurt you. Fuckin' hell, if I was, I'd have done it already just to shut you **up**! All I'm supposed to do is make sure you're OK."

"Well I'm _fine_." she spat back.

"Great, so can I go now?"

AJ gave him a tight smile as she nodded. "Well either you go or I do. Yeah, the bathroom window's looking more and more inviting..."

Punk froze, his eyes narrowed as he tried to comprehend the sight of the woman in front of him. "You haven't...?" Without waiting for a reply, he bolted through the bathroom. "Oh you _stupid _girl!"

Affronted, AJ climbed up from the bed, quickly pulling on her dressing gown, leaping in fright as the bathroom window slammed shut. Punk came back into the room with a face like thunder.

"Are you _trying _to piss him off? Jack doesn't appreciate cliché stunts Miss Mendez, alright? They get him very upset! Do you know what happens when Jack gets upset?"

"He ruins lives." she answered certainly, shaking furiously. "He _murders_..."

Punk ran his tongue around his pierced lip, nodding slowly. "That's right, yeah. And do you know who he'll be coming for? Do you?"

"Oh for God's sake, calm down. If I wanted both my legs broken, I'd have jumped already wouldn't I? But I haven't! I'm still here, having to suffer assholes like you!"

"OK, April, _now _you're annoying me."

She stepped confidently forward, tilting her chin up so he might swing at either side of her jaw, or his hands press around her throat. She hated him too much to be afraid of him. "I'm right here, P U N K..."

A soft and yet still cold laugh left him at the moment AJ flinched, his hand raised, but not threateningly, his knuckles stroking across her cheek until his palm was caught forcefully around her jaw, jerking her head up.

"More than my life's worth than to touch you April. Oh no, Jack needs you in perfect condition. He likes you, you know. Not quite so keen on your father, but then, he isn't exactly good looking is he, whereas _you_ have got _such_ a pretty face. Don't make Jack put noses out of joint, sweetheart, because yours will be the first and that would just be tragic."


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you all for the follows, reviews and favourites :)**

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That cold smile curving his hairy lip, Jack leant across the vast desk, pushing a filled whiskey tumbler towards Punk as he came, as summoned, through the door. Then Jack settled back, his thick fingers locked together.

"Boss?"

"Ah Phillip, my good man... sit."

Nodding, Punk took his place in the vacant chair opposite and waited. Straightening his back and taking in one extensive breath, Jack asked; "What do you make of our... guest then, Phillip?"

A sarcastic laugh shook the younger man. "Opinionated, isn't she?"

"Gets that off her father." Jack grumbled.

"So... what are you waiting on exactly?"

"Ah well, see, that bit's entirely up to him. Have to admit, I'm looking forward to seeing what he throws out. It's entertaining tempting desperate men. Besides, we never gave Mr Mendez a homecoming did we?"

The corner of Punks mouth instinctively sprang up. "You're not just going to kill him are you?"

Jack's smile crashed from his lips. "I never make the same mistake twice, Phillip, never. Obviously, death wasn't agonising enough for this low-life. There are other ways to crucify a man - why else do you think we've got his damn Princess locked away in the tallest tower? He isn't daft, luckily the local cops are-" As Jack smirked, Punk slid his glass across the table untouched "-but I'd say the only reason Daddy isn't coming haring round here all guns blazing is because he knows that this time, I'd be putting the bullet through his head. Or worse, Aprils'."

But Punk shook his head dismissively. "You wouldn't do that."

"What makes you so sure?" Jack questioned quietly, an accusatory flair in his tone.

Punk, however, was unmoved, smiling teasingly. "You like her too much."

Jack laughed gently, a suggestive glint unmissable in his eye. "Yes, there is something about her."

"Yeah, nothing to do with the fact she's the daughter of the man you've been wanting to destroy for fifteen years."

He waved his chunky hand dismissively.

"Irrelevant. Very attractive woman, don't you think?"

Punk shrugged as he pulled his ever present packet of gum from his pocket, taking out a piece and sticking it in his mouth. "She's alright, I suppose. Not exactly out of the ordinary though is she?"

"Two bit cougars might do it for you, my boy-"

"She's just a little girl!"

Jack ignored this protesting interjection for all but a dark look that resulted in Punk hastily biting into his lip. "-but _some_of us prefer our women with a look of youth."

"Whatever."

Jack smirked and tilted his head forward to indicate Punk himself. "Been giving you what for hasn't she?"

"Doing my head in." he agreed.

"Well, you know what you can do about that."

Against the surface of the desk, Jack's hand promptly curled into a fist. Punk levelled his gaze to his boss' and pretended not to have seen. Jack of course, noticed, but oddly, nodded in approval.

"Good lad. I like strength in a woman, see. She'll be harder to crack than most, I admire that. And if I'm going to have everything else from her, I might leave her with something. It's Daddy I want."

Punk blinked, with little more to offer to his understanding. Curiousity burnt inside and he found that now Jack's latest plan was well under way, he could not hold it back. "How did you find out where he was?"

Jack sighed heavily. "Thorn in my side that man. Still infuriates me that I didn't manage to get rid of the double-crossing little weasel the first time round. Of course, someone else paid the price, but that still left him at large. He got hit alright, went down with a bullet inside him. But he wasn't out. And you don't get away from that sort of mess without a bit of help do you? And I've always had my suspicions about _who_helped him. Guess it's pretty fortunate I had a little run-in with Jan that while back..."

"Jan?" Punk echoed, jolting a little as sense was made. "But she's-"

As Jack nodded sombrely, Punk was stunned into silence.

"Police say it was suicide. Tragic really. But still Phillip, you know me, I don't like to argue with the law."

Punk sat there silently, rigidly, as it all became so clear. Jan was the one with the answers. Jack was the one with the questions. She'd given, a gun to her head, a knife to her throat, oh it hardly mattered now. She'd given and Jack... Jack had taken. Punk remembered well what Jack had done soon after Jan's death. He'd taken his own little holiday, a few months in Hawaii. They'd carried on without him, directed by Jack's second in command John. There'd been excited whispers in the world around that Jack's ticker had packed up, which Punk knew was absolute rubbish because John made a point of informing him and few select others of Jack's latest instructions. No way was Jack a goner, but, oh of course. Whispers were supposed to get round... go as far afield as Mr Mendezs door.

Now he was back... and so was Jack. And with Princess April in his possession, it was pretty obvious there wasn't room enough for the both of them!

"Well... Miss Mendez is a missing person now ? The cops are going to be everywhere looking for her. What are we-" At Jack's raised eyebrow, Punk quickly corrected himself. "-am **I**supposed to do with her?"

"Nothing. She stays where she is until I say different alright? Get her what she wants, when she wants it. Be nice... if you can!"

"I'll try." he replied obediently. "She'll know I'm forcing it though."

"Well **don't**." Jack warned him sharply. "Learn to like the woman. It'll be good for you... it's not her fault you've got the sensitivity of a gnat, boy."

Punk laughed dryly, feeling a dismissal in his boss' words and pulling himself up from the chair. "Thanks Jack."

"Well..." he said, sucking in a dramatic sounding breath through his pursed lips as he looked back down to his papers. "...if you don't want the work-"

"No, I didn't say that!" he answered defensively. "I'll do it alright, like you asked. She just... rubs me up the wrong way, that's all."

Jack paused and levelled his gaze again, smirking knowingly as he leant back. "You know why that is don't you?"

Punk remained silent, throwing over an odd look through narrowed eyes as he shook his head in cluelessness.

"She's just like you."

"Yeah!" he scoffed shrilly, not needing a moment to dismiss it. "Her, the nerdy chick, and me the brain-dead puppet, with you pulling my strings? I see that!"

"Pulling your strings?" Jack spat, his eyes flaring wildly. "Who do you think you're talking to? You're a very free man, Phillip, you've always known that. You don't like how things work around here, the door's over there."

"People don't walk away from you, Jack, no-one's that stupid."

"You were beginning to sound it."

"Well I'm not." Punk assured him flatly. "I know my place, OK?"

"Glad to hear it." Jack replied with a curt nod as he dropped his gaze to the papers again.

Punk sighed and stepped back towards the door. His hand closing around the handle, he glanced back. "I don't... have to do anything else, do I? With her?"

"Well of course you do!" came the bright reply. "You _look_ Phillip, you **don't **touch, understand? That pleasure's mine."

"What are you-?"

"Ah-ah!" Jack raised one podgy finger, waggling it in dismissal. "Can't have you ruining the surprise now can I? Now go."


	6. Chapter 6

**Cheers for the views :)**

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Stood rigid against the wall, Punk somehow found he couldn't take his eyes from AJ. Maybe it was just because she was so sour-faced. The silence was literally killing him through boredom. He'd rather they'd descended into another sniping match by now, at least they were entertaining. She'd literally been sat hunched on the bed for the last three hours, scowling at him. He'd long since stopped being amused by her sullenness.

"Oh c'mon April!" he sighed in exasperation, pulling back. "Are you seriously going to spend God knows how many days just giving me evils?"

"I have nothing to say to you." she snapped back.

"Yeah well, right now I couldn't care, because I can't stand this silence."

"What **do** you want then Punk? Tell me, what can I possibly do to make this easier on _you_?"

But he didn't flinch at her savage tone. He smirked, welcoming it. "Keep talking." he advised with a tilt of his head before taking another steady breath. "I reckon you'll get there."

"You disgust me, y'know that?"

"Well I'm not here to be your best friend, sweetheart."

"So what _are_ you here for? Besides to stop me jumping out the bathroom window? Because you know what... you haven't shifted... you've barely even _blinked_. And I despise having someone stood over me twenty-four-seven, my dad could tell you that!"

She whimpered as the word left her mouth, pressing her hand over to stifle the miserable sound.

"I hate this. I hate it! What did **I **do?"

Straightening up away from the wall, Punk shrugged awkwardly. "I don't know. You were there, I guess. Easy..."

AJs watery eyes flashed in disgust as she recoiled. "Is that what this is? Because you can _forget_ that thought right **now**! You might be used to beating people for a living, but believe me, you come near me, and you might pick up a few tips!"

"No, I didn't mean-"

"Won't look that great in the press will it? Kidnapped, raped **and **murdered... because I was expecting at least two of the three..."

Punk flinched, lips twisted in repulsion as he glared back at her. "What the Hell do you think I am?"

"Do I look like I _know_? I know what you want Punk, because I know what Jack wants. You want me to be terrified. Of what I don't know. Because you... you could tear me into tiny bloody pieces. We both know that. You could do it any time. _That's_ what you're here for. Can't take your eyes off me in case I disappear. What's your game plan, hmmm? You going to bother sweetening me first? Want my _trust_? Or are you just going to wait until I dare to close my eyes? Make it easy on your conscience. Or don't you have one anymore? How long you been here, Punk? How long have you been _this_ cold?"

"You're not getting anything from me." Punk spat viciously, shaking his head jerkily.

"Then we know where we stand? I don't care about you, I'll _never_ care about animals like you. All that matters to me is my family. What is this here? This isn't a family. It's a cold, brutal _nothing_. What does that make you?"

"Me? Safe, sweetheart. What about you? Nervous yet? Because when it comes to it, everyone gets what's coming. Including your father."

"You don't know what you're talking about!" AJ screamed defensively.

"No! I don't. But... he will. What do you fancy, ringside or front row? Ask me nicely, I'll hold your hand all the way through."

Her lip curled, she lunged forward and struck him hard across the face, gratified to hear him wince as her shapely nails cut deep into his flesh.

"Well..." Punk mused, staring at the speckles of blood glistening on his fingertips. "...that wasn't very nice at all, was it April? Oh this isn't good..."

"Whatever you've been told to do, **do** it! _Now._ I'm not afraid of you, sorry. All I can do is _pity_ you. Great big monster breathing down your neck from what age eh... sixteen? Making you too scared to live life, so that the only way is to destroy everyone else's. Well I'm the one that's here now, so c'mon, give me your best damn shot! Imagine I'm my dad, let your imagination run wild. Or just your _fists_ if you like, I'm not fussed. But don't you _ever_ threaten or even **talk **about my dad! You're not fit! You're not fit for anything!"

"Don't push me April."

"Oh, but I'd **love **to! Which button is it now? C'mon Punk, I'm so interested!"

He turned away and concentrated on training his breathing because he could feel the tension winding in the centre of his chest.

"What kind of man turns his back? You losing it Punk? Well enjoy it sweetie, because my dad will tear you into shreds. Because he **loves** me. Like no-one would ever _dare _love you!"

AJ herself jumped back in alarm as Punk whirled around again, shivering furiously as fire raged in his eyes. She could not move quickly enough, unable to assess him and found herself thrown hard against the wall, Punks hand jerking her head up as his rough hand closed around her throat.

"Do you want a taster honey? Because I've got the full menu up here, and I know Jack would rather you tried a bit of everything. He thinks you're a bit like that. Is he right April? You can have anything you want, he says. **I** am the mug that has to _give_ you anything you want! And bloody hell, I know what I want give you right now. You need to learn when to shut that _nasty _little mouth of yours... split lips are not attractive. And believe me, that's kindness. You don't know me, and you can't guess me so don't try! You're making me angry and if I lose my temper, your Daddy isn't going to see you in this pretty piece ever again. So let's try and keep it friendly yeah?"

AJ tried to turn her head away, but Punk pulled her back to his gaze, his cold eyes glittering so manically that her stomach squirmed with an untold fear.

"_Yes?_"

Shaking, AJ nodded desperately, a painful twinge shooting up her neck. "Y-Yes." she stammered in a broken whisper.

"Great." he replied flatly, shoving her away. "So let's start again. No point in making yourself miserable, April. Me and you... we've got Jack for that."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N..Thank you :)**

Not a word was said between the two of them after that. Not one. AJ had been terrified into silence. Punk no longer made the effort to stay within the room, relegating himself to the corridor. AJ spent the hours that trudged by staring miserably at the walls, hunched over her bent knees and just wishing she could cry. She needed to know there was some emotion still inside her, terrified further to consider that to have been in such company for these few days that she was becoming like them. She didn't want to be cold. What she really wanted was to stop shaking so violently and to sob her wasted heart out. But she hadn't dared because the last thing she wanted was to be heard, ridiculed by anyone. Especially not _him_. Because now... he did scare her a little.

She'd seen the white-hot venom in his eyes and alone now, couldn't help but wonder what it was she had been probing so viciously in his life that he might throw her against the wall, truly hating her, perhaps _needing_to threaten her. Oh, and he'd definitely done that, the flesh of AJs neck still tender and sore as the angry bruise undoubtedly formed. She could almost feel his hand tightening around her throat as the pain coarsed. And yet she felt nothing towards him. Nothing more hateful and nothing less.

She'd simply stayed hunched on the bed, watching the clock, waiting for nothing and no-one.

It had been about half past eleven when she leapt a foot off the bed in fright, forced to register the activity around her once again as the door crashed open. She recoiled immediately, the need to protect herself instinctive. Because the man that stood in the doorway was not one she knew, and she could feel inside that he also was not one she wanted to know. There was something about him that was all wrong. And the fear itself was sickening.

He'd given her a cold, toothy smile that made her feel like she wanted to retch. He'd swaggered over and dropped two very expensive looking bottles of wine on the bed before pulling a corkscrew out of his deep pocket and swinging it menancingly. She flinched and that toothy sneer mocked her. God knows how much ale was stale on his breath as he leaned in towards her and leered; "Something old Jack wants you to have, gorgeous." His eyes never moving higher than her breasts, he added; "Wouldn't mind a bit myself."

The look on AJs face was all he needed to recognise how repulsed she was, but that seemed to make his grin wider. Thankfully, her flesh was allowed to crawl a little less as he drawed back. She had expected so much worse. Well, maybe not from...

She felt her stomach jolt. "Wh-Where's Punk?"

"Phil?" the intruder puffed. "Out on some business? And that isn't any of yours." he added warningly. AJ dropped her gaze obediently, careful not to raise it should bile come up in her throat at the sight of him. "It's just you and me tonight babe."

"No thanks." She shivered with a scowl. "I don't fancy the company."

"That's a shame, the company _definitely _fancies you."

His grubby fingertip trailed down AJs chest and as it skimmed across her breasts, she shoved it roughly away. "I'd rather you killed me first."

"Oooh." he winced playfully. "Saying it like you mean it? Don't tease me, babe, don't tease me."

And he backed out of the room, blowing AJ a kiss. She turned her head away in disgust, waiting for the door to click shut before she found herself betraying her every instinct and principle - she **agreed **with Jack Brooks. It might well have been time to get blind drunk. The lack of glasses did not pass her by as she set roughly to work with the corkscrew and neither did the possibility that the liquid was laced with something. But she drank it down steadily from the bottle anyway, hardly caring. Maybe she was bored of loneliness, of this nothingness.

The two bottles saw her through to the first minutes of the new day, and AJs head was happily clouded with drunkenness as she slumped back on the bed, cradling the bottle like a child. She laughed to herself about nothing at all, relieved to feel something that so willingly masqueraded as happiness inside her. She was normal again.

She heard the doorhandle creak, but could not even be bothered to entertain the idea of turning her head to take in the presence of the intruder.

"Oh... you're still awake."

The voice registering, She jumped a little, snapping her head round. She bit down into her lip, needing desperately to keep down the relief she felt.

"Hello PHIL. Where's Shrek?"

"Dave you mean? Off to get his beauty sleep. Kinda needs it, don't you think? And it's PUNK!"

AJ nodded. "I'd offer you a drink, but there-" Giggling she glanced pointedly between the two drained bottles. "-there isn't any!"

Smirking, Punk glanced at the floor, shaking his head. "Not big on wine April, don't worry."

"Oh I wasn't worried." she assured him brightly, shrugging. "Why?" Suspicion, Punk saw, flashed in her eyes. "Should I have been?"

"Who are you, my mother?"

"Would she have been worried about what you've been doing? Really? What was it tonight eh? Robbery? ABH? Manslaughter?"

Punk tilted his head back and laughed dismissively, obviously humoured by her attitude. "Yeah. Of course. Me and a couple of the boys went downtown, and pinched a few old ladies' handbags. Then we sold a crack haul to a load of teenage zombies on the stairs. Then when they couldn't pay, we roughed them up a bit for a bit of light relief, y'know? Not sure how many of them still have pulses, but... shit... you're just never gonna have any idea are you?"

"Where have you _been_?" She demanded.

"What's it to you?." he snapped back. "Stop with the fuckin' questions? I can't stand talking to drunks, they do my head in."

"Well excuse **me **for needing a little pick-me-up, not exactly having the time of my life here!"

But Punk rolled his eyes. "Do you want to know how much worse it gets? Because y'know what, I'd tell you if I thought you could take it. But Jack would go spare if you threw up on these carpets. And I reckon you would. Get it?"

Scowling, not quite able to look him in the eye, AJ nodded and winced as a flame of pain shot up her neck, her hand flying up instinctively to rub it gingerly.

Punk frowned in confusion. AJ smiled weakly and looked away again. She continued to rub at her neck in wider circles, the movement of her hand displacing the curtain of her hair and revealing the large, angry bruise.

"Fuck..." Punks' mouth went dry. "Did I...?"

Biting hard into her lip to keep any accompanying words back, she nodded, wishing she hadn't and wincing as the pain came again.

"I shouldn't have..." he mumbled distractedly after a few minutes, rolling the other empty wine bottle between his hands.

"But you did." she stated simply, shrugging.

"That's way over the line."

"Oh shut up." AJ scoffed. "You don't know where the line **is**. That's why you live like you live!"

"Don't blame the lifestyle hon. God, even Jack knows there's some things you just **don't **do to a woman. And I've done one of them right there." His guilty eyes traced out the mark. "I didn't mean-"

"Yes you did. You have to. Everyone gets what's coming don't they?"

"Yeah, I guess."

As Punk smiled uneasily, AJ was staggered to find the same expression had stolen her own lips as they looked at each other. For a second, it was almost as if they understood each other but it disappeared quickly enough however and unease swamped her.

"What does Jack want, Punk? From me?"

"I don't know." he answered honestly, not quite comprehending how the need to be such had overwhelmed him. It never had before - Punks' skill at deceit was what set him apart in this world. And yet to her, he could not lie. Maybe it was the fright in her eyes. He'd seen it in too many other faces not to understand it on some level, however cold he was. "I don't think he'll hurt you though. Not you."

But AJ could not be placated, hugging her knees anxiously. "But you don't know do you? No-one can know Jack Brooks. Because that's what Zack said, and where's he right now? Where did _you_send him?"

"I told you... he'll be alright."

"That's not the **point**!" she cried out desperately. "It's not just Zack... or...me - it's my Dad, it's my brother and I'm scared! Scared I'll never... oh I don't know!"

"April..." he began uneasily, tugging the bottle from her hand. "...you're drunk."

"Oh so _what_? You're gonna kill me anyway right?"

"I _said_... I'm not here to hurt you."

"Well I don't _believe _you."

"Jesus Christ..." he muttered hotly, pulling himself up from the bed, an empty wine bottle swinging from each hand. "You think if I was meant to, I'd have waited this long? You do my head in! But you never lay your hand on a woman. You just don't. And it doesn't matter whether you believe this or not, but I am sorry. I really shouldn't have lost my temper like that."

"You've had the frighteners put on you." AJ said thoughtfully, scooting forward towards the end of the bed.

But Punk just laughed weakly. "Listen to yourself will you? The _frighteners_? Do you know what they **mean **to men like Jack? Yearly stints in Intensive Care usually cover it. And in case you hadn't noticed, I still have the use of both legs. Lucky old me eh? Still, clock's ticking right? I shouldn't have touched you."

AJs expression was unchanged and he sighed gently, understanding as he turned towards the door.

"Punk?"

"Hmmm?"

"_You'll _be alright, won't you?"

He tilted his head, the smirk in the corner of his mouth definitely one of disbelief. It almost sounded as if she was scared of the possibility enough to care, but he'd been alive long enough to know it was never going to be true, especially in the case of the first woman whose throat had so obviously suffered in his own hands. He felt sickened at himself, not least because he knew the ways in which he would be made to suffer and yet somehow, what he felt towards AJ hardly allowed him to feel that way at all.

He pushed down the door handle and pushed open the door with his elbow, giving her a tight smile as he hunched his shoulders.

"Doesn't matter does it? Neither of us care."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N. Hey.. I have this and another chapter to come tonight and then it's back to a week full of work. I will try and update during the week if I can. But I don't think I've done too bad.. 9 chapters in 3 days. Yes my fingers and my brain are hurting but sure it's all worth it in the end. Thank you for all the reviews:)**

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Punk turned from the room, carefully shutting the door on the darkened room and thinking that was it - that he was simply in for his only available variation on a quiet night. He was very wrong. Slumped against the smooth wall, he found AJ staring at him, almost in disgust in the doorway.

He waved his hand, "Sorry." he said casually. "I didn't realise we weren't done."

Her scowl only tightened. She drew the door closed behind her and stood against the opposite wall, never taking her glazed and mistrusting eyes from his form. "What's the _matter _with you?" she demanded in a sharp hiss.

Punk felt just the one corner of his mouth rise insincerely into a half smile as he tilted his head back against the wall. "Maybe you should try thinking what **isn't **the matter with me, eh sweetheart?"

AJ scoffed, nodding knowingly. "Oh come on then... let's hear it. Bad childhood right? Wore you down, made you weak?"

His eyes flashed again, but AJ dismissed it simply, too involved in challenging him.

"What the fuck **is** it with you?" he hissed warningly. "If you were pulling this shit on anyone else, you'd be hard pushed to find a pulse by now, y'know that? I'm a nice guy, April alright and you are _seriously _trying my patience right now."

"Then put me in my place, **c'mon!**" AJ goaded. She hadn't meant to become drawn into another of these exchanges, especially not so soon, but there was just something about him which meant she couldn't stop herself.

Scowling, Punk looked down, sucking hard on his lip ring. "I told you..." he said darkly, "...more than my life's worth."

AJ pursed her dry lips, mocking him with one simpering glance as she tilted her head to the side. "Then maybe you should learn to control your bastard temper hmmm?" She purposely pulled her hair back from her neck, letting it rest behind her shoulders so that the slope of her neck was entirely exposed. She was sure she saw him bite harder into his lip as he continued to stare at the floor. "What happened to not marking the goods? You hurt me, Phillip..."

"You were asking for it." he growled accusingly wincing as he caught sound of his real name. As it happened, AJ half agreed with him but did not miss the way his stormy eyes refused to settle on her neck.

Laughing quietly, she let her hair hang naturally and looked piteously upon him. "It isn't you playing God though is it? It's me, right up until the second you put a bullet through my head or whatever the hell else you were doing downtown."

"I **told **you-" he repeated angrily as he straightened his back ready to defend himself. "I'm not-"

"But what if **I **am?" AJ challenged stiffly. "What if I want to hurt you back?"

Punk shrugged lazily. "I can't stop you. And the good news is, having blood on your hands _never _goes out of fashion, so congratulations."

"So he **would **kill you then?"

"Oh yeah. Slowly. Painfully. He's quite imaginative, Jack."

AJ shook her head sadly, eyes narrowed as she tried to comprehend the man in front of her. "Why does he have so much power over you?"

His soft laugh was cold, born simply to mock her. "You know what I can't stand about you April? I mean, **really **can't stand? You've got a really sugary voice. Make out you're all heart, and you know what? You're just as cold as the rest of us!"

"_Us_?" she spat fiercely. "I'm nothing _like_ you. I'll **never**... I don't have to half _kill _people to get through every day!"

"Don't you **dare **judge me, because you don't know shit, alright? What do you think would happen if I didn't... didn't-"

"I don't care." she looked away in disgust.

"You don't have to." Punk seethed resentfully. "You're going get out of here fine, go back to people that love you. And the rest of us? We're here until the day we die. Don't know when that is exactly either. Jack's probably crossing off the days on a desk calender. But this... it's _life_."

"But there's... a world out there." AJ began to tremble, inwardly kicking herself as she realised how naive the words sounded, even just leaving her mouth.

"You obviously havn't been out in it that much have you? No-one else lives out of a picture book April. The whole fuckin' world is cruel and ugly. You just have to get used to it. You look out for number one. Nothing else to do."

AJ sighed heavily and slid down the wall to the floor. He threw her an odd look as she looked up at him, knees bent up to her chest.

"So this-" she began with a defeated gesture. "-**this** is all you ever wanted to be, what you wanted out of life? Just to be another one of Jack's thugs? Where's your drive? Your ambition to do... _anything?_"

"I made it to 21, did'n't I? Not even sure I'm worth that. But yeah, I gave up hoping long ago sweetheart."

"Well then... nothing in your life means a thing to you. You're just waiting for your number to be up!"

Punk smiled wryly and straightened up away from the wall, settling himself down on the carpet beside her. "Yeah. You're getting there."

"That's **horrible.**"

"Well, I wasn't expecting a bed of roses..."

But AJ was barely listening, too content with studying his face and suddenly realising how drained he looked. "What are you doing here, Phil?"

Resting his head against the wall, hearing his birth name from her lips again, he turned to look at her, giving her a weak smile as he hunched his shoulders for a moment. " I'm obligated. I've got this feeling you're trying to make me better than I am. Don't bother April, yeah? I was past redemption before I was in double figures. This is just what I have to do. There isn't anything out there for guys like me. I just hope I piss off memorably you know? Doubt Jack would do me the honour though. And when it's your time, I'm guessing there isn't much time to think about where you'd like your body parts to be found. I'll find out soon enough."

"Don't talk like that." AJ pleaded shakily, ill feeling swirling readily in her stomach.

Punk shrugged. His chosen topic of conversation didn't seem to be causing him the slightest bit of unease.

"Jack... trusts you, doesn't he?"

"Jack? _Trust? _Nah. It's do or die round here - your old man must be the only man in history that's managed to do both. I think I like that." Seeing the pain that swept across her face at the mention of her father, Punk straightened his head and concentrated on a spot on the opposite wall. "Jack picks us all off in the end. I Suppose he gets bored. And I've been around it all my life. He must be sick of the sight of me. So yeah, whatever. I'm not fussed."

AJ flinched, feeling sicker and sicker. "How can you _say _that?"

Punks neck jerked and his eyes burnt into hers again, telling her simply; " I just can."

Something new kicked inside of AJ. _Sympathy._

That was until fear shook her. She almost screamed at the shrill sound that shattered their uneasy tranquility, only managing to bite it back as she realised it was his phone. He leapt up like someone had just dropped scalding water in his lap, frenzied as he tugged the handset from his back pocket. Her stomach muscles tightened frightfully as she watched him. He could feel her eyes upon him and turned away anxiously, striding up the length of the corridor to be out of her earshot as he accepted the call.

But AJ refused to be shaken off. Her eyes itched with tiredness, her head had begun to throb as was her level of drunkenness. These were the things that told her how late it was. She could feel that for him to receive a call so late meant bad things and mistrust was threatening to tear apart the every conflicting emotion that had presented themselves in these last few minutes. And somehow, she didn't want that to happen. Punk was the man that held her life in his hands and she wanted to be able to trust him. She couldn't quite make herself believe she liked him, but she knew how true it was when he said to her that so much worse could have happened to her by now.

But maybe this was it. She crept closer and closer to where he stood in the middle of the dimly lit hallway, not saying a word, head bowed as he listened intently to his instructions. And maybe the instruction **was** her. _To silence her... to get rid of her._

Catching sight of her creeping ever closer out the corner of his eyes, Punk glared at her, frowning and therefore warning her off without words. But she tilted her chin defiantly, listening to him murmur;

"Be right there. Yep."

He clicked the phone shut and released a heavy sigh as he clutched it tight in his fist. Animation flooding through his body as if a switch had been flicked inside him, he spun round a quarter turn on his heel to face AJ. Her own troubled breath got logged painfully in her throat as she waited for some sort of furious explosion on his part. Well, really she didn't know what she was expecting, but then she had no idea how a man psyched himself up to commit murder.

"I'll see you in the morning, yeah?"

"What?" she bristled, stunned. This definitely _wasn't _what she had expected. "Why? Where are you going? What was that about?"

Punk dismissed her frenzied questioning with a calm shake of the head, even before she had finished speaking. Blanching his lip, he said; "Goodnight April."

"No! No, this isn't right!"

Growling quietly in irritation, he pushed past her and forced open the door to her room, standing against it to hold it that way and looking at her in a way that said he had no time to wait for her to pass through.

"This is Jack fuckin' Brooks we're talking about, of course it isn't right! Now for fuck's sake, just do what I'm asking yeah?"

Scowling, she stomped past and threw herself dramatically on the bed. Punk, however, smiled apprehenseively.

"Thank you..."

AJ sat there, her spine rigid with fear as she soundlessly counted the seconds away. The door clicked shut, Punks footsteps faded away along the landing... and she stood up. She went across the dark room, groping blindly for the doorhandle, her sweaty palm pulling it down. She winced as the door creaked on its hinges, but with one daring peek found that with his departure, the hallway was deserted. Her heart beating dangerously fast against her ribs as she went the way Punk had gone.

But all the doors were closed and she didn't dare open a single one. Instead she crept down the staircase, her steps feather-light in her bare feet. She turned the corner to continue down the flight and found that the fire door was swinging noisily on its hinges in the night breeze. AJ stepped towards it, suddenly desperately aware she hadn't felt true air upon her skin in days. Nothing else seemed to matter much in comparison. Cautiously, she pushed against the bar and stepped out, the cool stone of the outer staircase soothing her burning soles.

There was nothing much to be seen around. Expanses of potholed tarmac held pools of the moonlight. Vines seemed to tumbling off the side of the crumbling building. She wondered if it looked this bad from the outside, in the hope that everyone in the real world would pass it by, considering it disused and unimportant - and indeed not done up in grandeur on the inside to accommodate hostages!

But AJ didn't care. To her, it was beautiful, and had it not been for the high security fences around the perimeter, making this place feel even more like a prison, she might really have believed she was free. And to some extent, she was. For the moment anyway and to hell with the consequences. She considered this whole situation only held one consequence for her anyway.

So she settled herself on the top stair and tilted her head up, allowing the gentle breeze to kiss her face as it danced along. And at long last, she found some company - the millions of stars twinkling in the sky. There were still so beautiful and nothing about her surroundings could change that. Unlike Punk, AJ wasn't ready to give up hope.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you :)**

* * *

Punk sighed heavily as he walked across the wrecked tarmac. This was the last bloody thing he needed. He tilted his head to the side, massaging roughly at the stiff muscles of his neck. His hand dropped away into his pocket and withdrew a heavy pair of leather gloves. His knuckles seemed to throb in protest as he was left with no choice but to pull them on. He'd been a bit of an idiot really, thinking that his only charge for the next few days, weeks, whatever, would be AJ alone. It was a shame, cos he was just starting to get into it, their hourly spats and all that. There were so many sides to her. He didn't think he could force himself to get on with a single one, but it was good to be unpredictable. He knew that well. There was little other reason he had survived so long.

But at the same time, he hated how damn right she was. Naive, sheltered AJ was right. _Just another of Jack's thugs. A cold brutal __**nothing**__. Punk_ tried to shake the words away as he slowed up, sheer emptiness surrounding him as he waited. But he somehow couldn't. One of the first things he'd learnt in this life was to trust no-one and nothing. And yet he still knew she was right. He didn't want to be nothing, but he knew it was far too late to hope to be something. This was all he was now. He lived in a spiral turned by respect. And unless he wanted to slide down into oblivion, he had to earn the respect he was due. And he'd learnt one failsafe way of getting it. And the rule wasn't so much "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" as "If it ain't broke, then fuckin' **break **it."

He didn't turn around as a pained groan filled the air. He closed his eyes and pretend he hadn't heard it, but the adrenaline pumping a little faster through his system now betrayed him.

The voice shook with fear, speaking with a heavy French lilt. "I'm sorry! Please! Non... **non...**"

He was promptly silenced by the two burly men that only managed to keep their victim on his own two feet by kicking him repeatedly in the shins to force him to place one foot in front of the other.

"Fabian." Punk whispered tiredly to himself, almost wincing in sympathy. "Oh, you _idiot._"

He hit the ground hard as he was thrown down, left to roll around on the tarmac in front of Punk, screaming in agony.

Punk took a deep breath and let his mind close off completely. There was no way he could do this consciously. There were some out there that deserved their punishments when they were delivered and there were some that Punk pitied for ever having met Jack. Fabian was one of the latter.

He'd bolted from France when he was barely fifteen, certain that his drunken father would kill him when their next brawl came. His mother, a woman everyone around knew he idolised was presumed dead, so vicious were her share in the beatings. Fabian's father had said she'd run off with a city banker but Fabian had protested this til he was spitting blood. Literally, Punk had seen it the first time the man had fallen foul of Jack's many intricate, ever changing rules.

The worst thing to have in this life was a weakness. Fabian's was his mother. Punk envied that somehow, but knew to keep it down. Because Jack, oh he used it, towering above the man, sprawled on the floor precisely as he was right now in fact and goading him even as he was beaten from all sides, calling his mother everything imaginable. Punk had always wondered how Jack had managed to forge such steadfast and savage opinions of people he had never met.

And to begin with, Fabian had screamed angrily back at Jack, needing to defend his mother. After all, everyone also knew that the last Fabian had seen of his mother, her body was shielding his as she screamed at his raging father that to get to their son, he'd have to kill her first. After that, Fabian had been forced from the room and left to bury his head under a pillow and try and block out his mother's screams. Jack didn't appreciate the will the man still had inside of him, and his anger was beaten savagely out of him. He hadn't been a part of that first attack. He'd been stood rigid against the wall, unable to do little more than blink in horror. Fabian had been left a mass of broken bones on the warehouse floor, his ribs never likely to heal and his mouth filled with blood and smashed teeth. And no-one seemed to give a damn. Therefore, Punk couldn't either.

"Get up." he hissed.

Fabian was promptly dragged up. Punk bit into his lip to hold back a wince. He was trying to help the man, really. Surely it was better to die standing. Living on his knees had never gotten this man anywhere. Anger had kept him alive day to day - in fact a rather bloody brawl in when Fabian was a little off sixteen had been what had gotten him noticed by Jack in the first place. And once that happened, there was no escape. At least not until the day you died.

So Fabian... he was free tonight.

"Why don't you _learn_?" he demanded, stepping close and tilting up Fabian's stubbly chin so savagely that the bones in his neck ground painfully together. "I've tried to help you, Fabian, remember?"

He whimpered.

"_Remember?_"

"Oui! Oui! Je suis désolé!"

Punk laughed scornfully. "Well, that's never meant nothing has it mate, eh? If you were _sorry_, you wouldn't have repaid me like this! I stuck my neck out for you, cos I thought you were better! I thought you had the brains not be _dragged_ back! What was it, eh? _What?_"

He counted in ten seconds that were filled only by Fabian's whimpering. Without focussing on his face, Punk swung his fist forward into his stomach. The man slumped to the floor. He flexed his hand, wishing his knuckles would throb a little less.

"You should know not to keep me waiting..."

His gaze flickered to the two that roughly kept Fabian on his feet.

"Slimeball got caught with 50K's worth of H in his apartment Boss."

Punk winced audibly. "Fifty eh, Fab? Oooh, that's gonna **hurt**."

His two colleagues sneered cruelly and dutifully let their support drop away, leaving Fabian at the mercy of their boss' relentless fists.

"What'd you get for possession these days eh? Seven... ten years? The shame you're gonna bring on that precious family of yours... your poor wife! That's if you _make_ it to the clink. Not looking likely is it, _mate_?-"

Punk pretended he could not hear bone after bone shattering. He pretended he knew nothing of the pain as his attack continued. Fabian's face by now was not only tear-streaked, but dangerously bloody too, left to choke on the forming pool as it poured from his flattened nose and into his reluctant mouth.

"If you'd just **learn**-" he roared angrily as Fabian screamed.

"**Please!** No more! No more! My... my _wife!_"

Punk drew back his foot, his victim's body rigid as he awaited the next attack. It didn't come. He crouched down and jerked up Fabian's head, holding it roughly in his hands and smearing blood all across the poor man's drenched face.

"She won't wait." Punk hissed cruelly. "They never do. And why would she eh? Look at you, you're an embarrassment. **I** gave you chance to be something, Fabian, _anything_. And you're **nothing**. That's all you're ever gonna be y'know. Worthless scum..."

Punk shoved Fabian away and he landed with a painful thud into his own blood. He bit hesitantly into his lip, finding that one of his workmates had placed a heavy, commanding hand on his shoulder.

"He deserves this, Phil, man. He let the Boss down."

"Yeah." Punk answered jerkily, quietly repeating his own words, as if to assure himself that what he was doing was right. "Worthless scum."

"Exactly."

Anger roared dangerously in the centre of Punks chest. This was one kid he seriously had tried to help. He'd seem too young, too fragile to exist here. Nearly ten years later and the thread the bastard had been hanging from had finally snapped. And so had Punk. Why did he bother? Why had he even bothered to try and help someone, anyone, when this was all he was reduced to in the end.

His lips set in a stiff sneer, he savagely kicked the broken man in the chest, over and over, furious tears pouring from his eyes as he yelled;

"Just... like... the... **rest**... of... us!"

Fabian's screams of torment and sheer agony wore on. Punks colleagues had to pull him desperately back as his attack intensified.

"Get **off** me!" he roared as hands clamoured for him and he still needed his release. This was the only way he knew, the only way it could be. This was supposed to be what they _wanted!_

"**Boss!**" Dave, who was exerting way too much pressure on Punks right side bellowed in his ear.

"_What?_"

His gaze lifted anxiously. Punk neck ached again as his went too - and he found himself looking into the big, brown brimming eyes of April Mendez, flared in repulsion as she looked down from the fire escape on this ugly scene. His glistening lips were set stiff as tears shook her and she tried to hold back a sob, her quivering hand pressed to her mouth to silence herself before one of them might. She'd seen it. What they could truly do. Just to survive.

She flinched as Punks eyes settled on hers. She leapt back, her bare feet heavy against the concrete.

She shook all the more, one shattering sob escaping her as he took one instinctive step forward. She backed up against the door and fled back into the building, choking loudly on her sobs.

The help stood at either side slid him an uneasy glance. Punks mouth went dry.

"_Shit!_" he cursed loudly, bolting forward up the staircase, finding now that the adrenaline shook him in the unkindest of ways, his blood pounding away in his ears. "**April**"


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you :)**

* * *

Punks chest was painfully tight by the time he reached her room. But he barely cared. All he wanted to know was that he had truly followed her to the right place. He'd heard her sobs, carried back to him on surrounding air that was barely there to be breathed, and he'd followed them. He didn't know what he was supposed to do exactly when he met them, but Jesus Christ, she'd seen too much!

He knew she could have fled to some part of the building that she didn't know, but considered she would be too terrified by what she had seen to dare, in case she found herself facing more danger. But, that was never supposed to be it. At least, he didn't think so, not yet! Oh God, he didn't know _anything_, did he?

"April?" he called out breathlessly as he crashed into the dark room.

He cursed hotly under his breath as he turned blindly and kicked the base of the bed hard. Blinking furiously, he realised then that the room was deserted apart from the harsh strip of light pouring out from beneath the bathroom door. Punk breathed a soundless sigh of relief.

"April?"

"Stay **away **from me!" she yelled venomously, her voice so obviously shattered by the thousands of sobs tearing her own chest open.

Punk frowned slightly as he found that words for once had failed him. "Look, I-" He sighed heavily, realising he was all out of excuses. "April, please... I just... I need to talk to you, yeah?"

"Talk?" she shrieked dismissively. "Oh I know what that means Phil, I bet you can't wait to lay your hands on me now?"

"**No! **I'm not... April, open the fucking door."

"_Fuck _you!"

"Then I'll kick it in!" he warned her sharply.

He waited, eyes fixed firmly on the lock. It did not twist. Irritation flared inside him, and he forced his weight through his shoulder and the door gave, AJ crying louder and louder as all the fresh sobs threatened to choke her. It took him a few seconds to realise that the scene in front of him was all his fault. Her bare feet were pressed into the bottom of the deep bath, her knees hugged tight against her chest as she perched rigid on the edge, her back pressed against the wall. Tears poured down her flushed, crumpled face by the thousands, her lips twisted in such a way as they quivered that Punk knew she had long since lost the battle to keep all these ugly sounding sobs in her throat.

Punk took half a step forward and she almost screamed, backing further up against the wall than it was even possible for her to go.

"Are you... Are you going to do that to me too?"

"No!" he snapped, repulsed. "April, you... you weren't supposed to see that, _anything _like that!"

"Wh-What had he done? Why were you-?"

Desperate to not have to answer her, Punk rounded on her in accusation, demanding; "What were you doing there, for fuck's sake? I asked you... I **told **you to stay here!"

"I thought it was me OK?" she screamed out, coughing dangerously on her next sob. "I thought tonight was **me**! But you... you left and- why'd you do that? _Why_?"

"Because I had to!"

"No you **didn't**! You bastard. You just don't care! I was watching Phil, the whole thing! You did all of that! How'd you feel? Give you some sick little high did it, breaking every bone in his body? Who was that guy? What had he ever done to you?"

Punk bit into his lip and mumbled guiltily; "It's not about me anymore."

"Who **are **you?" she demanded through narrowed eyes. "Because I... I thought-"

"What?" he spat dismissively. "What is there to _think _April? I told you, you don't know me!"

"I don't think you know yourself. I don't think you ever have! How do you sleep at night, Phil huh? When you've got blood drying on your hands?"

Her fiery gaze dropped accusingly to the gloves covering his hand. Punks stomach lurched as he tore them off. Then he turned over his hands, smirking cruelly as AJs next breath got lodged painfully in her throat.

"You make me sick! You were going to _kill _him!"

"So what?" he said stiffly. "You ever thought he might have deserved it?"

"He was begging you! For his _wife_."

"Yeah." Punk answered in a scoff. "They've all got one when it suits."

"So you're saying he was lying?"

"Won't matter what I say will it, April?"

She threw him a dark look, a shock of repulsion shaking her entire body. "Seems to me you do your talking with your _fists_."

"That's right sweetheart'. No feeling in here, no nothing. I don't know what it means to break a man, rip his soul in _half_..."

"Shut **up**!" she screamed dangerously. "You won't make me believe it, Phil, _never!_ Cos I saw it out there... you're cold, emotionless. Y'know, **you're** the one that's nothing... you're the one that should be better than this and you're **not!**"

With an infuriated scream as she tangled her clawed hands in her hair, AJ buried her face in her knees, sobbing like she might never again. Punk watched her for a few moments, but his guilt, the tiniest hot prickings of it, died away as the ludicrousness of this scene overwhelmed him. Scoffing bitterly, he shoved the bathroom door so it shut hard; the impact making her scream fearfully, her attention once again on him.

"I'm not crying about it." he informed her icily, a sneer twisting his lips. "Should be my call, don't you think? Or are you there sobbing for my wounded soul?"

"Don't you dare mock me!" she hissed angrily back.

"Then stop makin' it so easy, April, you're embarrassing yourself."

"_Embarrassing_? Well, I'm so fucking _sorry_ I'm not up to your standard Phillip. Though... just looking at you, I reckon I could be. Yeah! _Hateful_, violent, **murdering** scum! Because you'll go back won't you? Once you've shut me up, you'll go back and you'll **kill **him! Bet you're well on the way to Employee of the Month aren't you? You're pathetic."

"And **you're **pushing it." he warned her darkly.

Sniffling to compose herself, AJ lifted her chin defiantly and swung her legs over the side of the bath, sliding onto the floor, straightening her back stiffly.

"Oh, I don't want to _push_ Phil. I want to hurt you. I **really** want to put my hands around your throat, like yours were around mine and I want to make you see stars. Painful, _glaring_ stars. I want you to feel pain like that poor man. But I can't do that, can I? Because I'm just another woman. A weak-willed, _irritating_little woman. And you're going to get rid of me. I don't know how and right now I don't care. I hate you too much."

"You can't hate what you don't know."

"But I wanted to! I wanted to believe I could trust you, just for a _second_."

"Why?" he demanded coldly, eyes narrowed as he looked back at her. "That isn't what I'm here for, you knew that!"

"Well, I know **now** don't I? You _disgust _me."

"And yet..." Punk said quietly, grappling for control of both her wrists before they again got the idea of striking him. "...I'm all you've got right now."

Forcing her weight forward, AJ pulled back, freeing herself painfully. "The sooner you kill me the better."

He gave her a ludicrous and started laughing, a cold, calm sound. "Y'know what? I really do like you. You're impressive."

With a grin, he wrenched open the door and flicked on the light, pacing the well-lit bedroom. AJ, shaking dangerously still, leant heavily against the doorframe as she watched him.

"So how do you want this, April, huh? Because we like to give choices around here. Tell me, what do you fancy, I'll do you anything you want, that's my brief, see. Nice, clean gunshot wound? Head, neck? Knife even? Where would you like it? Because being stabbed in the back isn't metaphorical around these parts, I promise..."

AJ somehow found that as she looked at him, she was smirking. She didn't quite know why because in truth, she was terrified. But still, there was that something about him.

"You're not just going to kill me, Phillip."

"I love how sure you are, sweetheart." His eyes glittered as he stroked his stubbly chin thoughtfully. "You should come back and watch Fabian's encore! Trust me, it's going to be a killer."

"**You're** the fucking _killer_. How many's it been Phil? Whatever number that poor man is, I'd hate to think that when mine's up, I meant to nothing to you."

"You April? Oh... never. Not going to forget the pretty little Princess now, am I?"

AJ glanced down at the carpet, somehow finding strength in her weakened legs to pick her way across to him as she folded her arms defensively across her chest. "Glad to hear that." she answered softly. "Because I'll never forget you. And neither will the _cops_when you're through with him down there. You'll be having just as many nightmares about me, Phil, I promise."

"I don't believe this!" he chuckled, highly amused. He really loved how this woman could pick up her own pieces and spring back up fighting. She definitely kept him on his toes. "You're threatening _me_?"

"Oh, I don't think we can call it _that_ can we? I'm the victim here." Biting hard into her lip to keep back another shudder of repulsion, AJ stepped up against his shoulder, her mouth dry and her breath dancing across his neck as she whispered in his ear; "Do what you have to,_ Punk_, go on. Just remember, I'll still be here, long after you've left me for dead out there. I'll break you, like Jack wishes he could break me. I'll destroy each little part of you, I'll send you crazy, just to justify every life you've ever tainted. Don't forget me, Phil. Don't _ever _forget me. I'm never going away."

He shoved her blindly away. "Who the **h****ell **do you think you are?"

"Me? I'm the one with the pretty face. You're the one with the ugly heart."

He turned his head in disgust. "You think you're going to start picking me apart with lines like that? Ah, April, you disappoint me."

"Well, I would say I'll live but..." She shrugged lazily, scowling over at her captor. "Guess that's not so likely now, eh?"

"You really are asking for this, aren't you, honey?"

"And what do you want? More tears? Me _begging _for my life? Get some sort of kick out of that too, do you?"

Punk glared at her. She roughly wiped tears away from her eyes, forcing herself to throw back as venomous a look.

"Or do I not look scared enough anymore huh? Make you feel like less of a man?"

"Do you have **any** idea what's coming to you, you stupid little _girl_?"

"In your expert hands, _Phillip_? Oh I think so!"

Casing her shoulders, he threw her back against the wall. She cried out as she felt where very large bruises would form, but still she stood straight, her balance only threatened as Punk forced his body against hers, pinning her to the wall. She tried to force him off, but of course, he was too strong, one of his hands again around her jaw and forcing her head up against the wall, her brimming eyes looked on his.

"Do you?" he spat. "Oh, you have no clue. Me and you, April, we've been playing nice... and I'm getting bored of that now."

With the force of his hand, he twisted her neck so her head rested on the wall as she gasped for breath. She kept one anxious eye on him the whole time, gulping down air as she fought for the strength to look him full in the face again. She refused to let him see her weakened.

"So what is there now?" she gasped. "Because we both know what the end game is."

"That's right." he told her with a slow nod, that insincere smile all in his face that would humour her. "So until then darlin', it's up to you. Wanna play rough... or dirty?"

AJs heart pounded desperately. Only it wasn't fear that coarsed through her as she looked at him, those deep eyes flamed with something so indecipherable, something she needed to understand.

"Both."


	11. Chapter 11

AJ ducked under his arm, after he had released his grip. When he turned around to face her, she made her move, placing her hands against his chest and pushing him up against the wall with a soft thud. She caught the brief expression of surprise on his face before his eyes darkened with an altogether different look. As she reached up for his mouth he slid his back down against the wall slightly, shaving an inch or two off his height as he enthusiastically returned her kiss.

Thrusting her tongue into his mouth, she molded her body up against his, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist. For the first time she held nothing back, and AJ dragged her fingers through his hair, finally allowing herself to enjoy the taste of his mouth, the feel of his hard body against hers. The scent of his skin, undeniable when she was this close, was intoxicating, and she was overwhelmed by all the sensations.

It felt just like nothing she had ever experienced before yet familiar, like it was meant to be this way, like sinking into some sensation that was both new and old at the same time – like being wrapped up in the best kind of memory. Her hands flew to the buttons on his shirt, desperate to feel his skin against hers and she struggled to get the top one open, yet keep her mouth on his at the same time.

Surprise barely had time to flit across his face before she had shoved him onto the bed, her heart thumping away in her chest at a rapid pace. By the time she had straddled his hips he was already reaching for her, his hands rising up to pull her head down to his waiting lips. The sensations running through her entire body were so intense that she felt the fear surface, the fear that always seemed to come along with the way Punk made her feel. She pulled away, struggling to catch her breath and sat up, pushing her hair off her forehead.

"We should stop this," AJ tried to hold herself together.

Punk stayed silent, holding onto her waist tighter. Like a vice grip. There was no way he was letting her up. Not now. Not after they had gotten this far. Not after he had now tasted the sweetness from her perfect lips.

"I'm not thinking straight. I'm angry. Frustrated. Upset. I'd just be using you." She sighed averting her eyes away from his hopeful ones.

Punk just blinked at her. "I'm ok with that.

She let out a breath. "Well I'm not. Doing this would mean being the same as you and I told you I'd rather die."

Ignoring her protest, Punk tugged her back down, sealing her lips with his and she couldn't help but respond. The kind of sensations that he was capable of producing were just too much for her, and she found herself wondering if she was with Punk, if it could be this good always, if it would be this intense no matter what they did together – whether it be argue of make love? Was it even love? Hardly. AJ had come to the conclusion that after days of them throwing angry filled words back and forth, they needed to relieve the tension that was brewing. That was all this was. The only thing that they both loved..was to hate eachother.

AJ trailed her lips up his neck and pulled the lobe of his ear between her teeth gently, then sucked it between her lips. His whole body shivered and he clutched her more tightly. She couldn't help that she was pleased that she did create such a strong reaction in him; it made her feel powerful, which helped to ease her nervousness

She pulled away again, shrugging the nightgown straps from her shoulders before returning quickly to his waiting lips. One of his hands slid down her back and cupped her butt, pulling her tightly against him and she felt a jolt run through her body, ending at the apex of her thighs. Continuing to struggle with his buttons, she was finally able to get the top three undone, and she slid her hand inside, running her fingers over the warm, smooth tattooed skin. She leaned down to press a kiss against his shoulder and he used the opportunity to flip her beneath him, drawing her leg up to wrap around his waist and rocking his erection against her thigh.

After several minutes of tongue dueling, they finally pulled back to take a breath. AJ pressed wet, open mouthed kisses against his chest, as her nimble fingers worked their way towards his belt. His own fingers snaked into her hair as she slowly unbuckled his belt, looking up to meet his eyes. They were the colour of want as they watched her, his face full of desire.  
She tugged the zipper of his jeans down; then pulled them off his hips entirely, her heart racing. She had never wanted a man quite like this, and she had definitely never just given in to her body's own desires. She had to admit it – it felt great.

She chewed on her lower lip as she tucked her fingers underneath the waistband of his boxer briefs and slowly, gingerly slid them down, her eyes locked on his the entire time. As the fabric rubbed over his erection on the way down.

Punks eyes fluttered closed, and he leaned down to press a gentle kiss against her lips. She slid her hand lazily down the front of his chest and over his hips as she used her feet to slide his jeans and boxers off his legs the rest of the way.

Before she'd even had a chance to take a breath, Punks mouth was on her breast, his tongue swirling around her nipple. She gasped, her hands flying to his hair as he pulled her nipple into his mouth, sucking gently. By now her breasts were on full show and her flimsy nightgown rested around her tiny waist.

"Phil," she moaned, as he moved from one breast to another. He already had his hand wrapped around the waistband of her underwear, and was struggling to pull them down as she moaned in response to his tongue.

He finally pulled away from her to drag her panties from her hips, shimmying them down her legs and pulling them completely off. When he returned, he straddled her gently, gazing down into her face, pausing to brush a strand of hair from her flushed cheeks. "I've wanted you like this since the beginning," he said softly. "I've seen you this way countless times in my head."

AJ lifted her hand up to stroke his cheek, tenderness rushing through her at his needed this right now. She needed to be held, to be intimate. She needed to hear those words. Even if they were from him. She'd worry about that in the morning when reality would strike once again. He caught her hand at his face and dragged her fingertips across his lips, kissing them tenderly.

Locking eyes with her, he reached slowly behind his back, his hand slipping between her legs and a moan rumbled low in her throat at the sight of him above her, at the touch of his hands.

"You're so beautiful," he said, his strong fingers slipping between her folds, caressing her until she pulled her lower lip between her teeth to keep from crying out

He looked so hot; his eyes on her as he continued to touch her she could scarcely catch her breath. "Phillip," she whispered, her eyes growing heavy as he found her clit. "Oh my _god_."

He caught her lower lip between his teeth, running his tongue along the inside of her lip and she thrust her tongue to meet his. "God, April, you feel **incredible**," he whispered, slipping a finger deep inside of her.

She moaned, tossing her head. "Phil, please."

He rotated his touch and dipped down again to capture her breast in her mouth again, swirling his tongue around the tip. "I love the way you taste," he said softly. "You're so sweet."

She was quivering underneath him, her whole body flushed from head to toe. "Please," she whispered again, nearly beside herself.

He slipped two more fingers inside of her. "Please what?"

She gasped. "Take me," she begged. "Please."

He rolled over, bringing her on top of him and sliding his fingers into her hair, dragging her mouth to his. Shoving his hand into his pocket, he tugged out his wallet, flipping it open as ran his fingers up her side, dancing against the skin of her belly.

As he tugged the condom from his wallet he pulled back for a second, cupping her face in his hands. "April," he whispered, trying to catch his breath. "Are you sure?"

She looked into his eyes, her fingers curling around his shoulders. Common sense said no, that tomorrow he would go back to the cold heartless bastard that he was made to be, but at that moment, looking into his eyes, she saw nothing but warmth, tenderness, desire, and... something else she couldn't quite place.

And to her, it just felt right.

"I'm sure," she whispered.

She rolled the condom over him slowly and he sighed at her touch, clutching her closer.

She paused for a moment, looking down at him. "Hey," she said softly. "Are you sure. I mean there's no coming back from this. If Jack finds out..?"

He swept her beneath him and she gasped, her arms winding around his neck. "God, yes, I'm sure," he said, capturing her mouth in a full kiss as he thrust deeply inside her.

AJ arched her back, bringing her legs up around his waist, moaning deeply. The feel of him inside her after all this time was incredible, and she pressed frantic kisses against his shoulders and chest, her hips finding his rhythm quickly.

"**God**, baby, you feel _so _good," he moaned, his body trembling as he quickened the pace. "You feel so much better than I even imagined."

"So do you," she gasped, her mouth only inches from his. Punk swept his tongue over her lower lip, looking into her chocolate brown eyes. "Kiss me," she whispered.

He captured her mouth in the sweetest, deepest kiss she'd ever experienced, a kiss so intense it made her toes curl against his legs, made her heart slam against the walls of her chest.

AJ hadn't felt like this ever, hadn't had someone hold her close, clutch her body to theirs like they needed her. And Punk – it didn't matter at the moment that he didn't love her; that she didn't know how she felt about him. It was the closest to love she'd come in a long time, and she was going to hold on to it and not let go for as long as she could. Even if it was only for one night.

He increased his rhythm, pressing his face against her neck, his lips against her skin as she raked her nails across his back, a moan escaping her lips. "Oh, god," she cried. "_Punk_!"

"**April**!" he cried hoarsely, cupping her face with his palm. "I want to see you, I want to see your face when you come," he panted.

She was trembling everywhere, her hips matching his frantic pace. "Phil, I'm so close," she cried. "Oh, **_god_**."

And then it swept over her, all of a sudden, overtaking her entire body. It felt like falling, like each cell rippling, like every nerve end in her body was lit up like a Christmas tree at that very moment, and everything exploded within her.

Punk wasn't much further behind her, and he let out a cry as he thrust once more into her, hard, before collapsing onto the bed and sweeping her into his arms


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you all for the Views, Reviews, Favs and Follows. They are very much appreciated :)**

AJ had been awake since first light. In fact, she wasn't all that sure her eyes had closed at all. She was too... she didn't even know what the right word was. Shell shocked? Disgusted? Her gaze had been fixed on the clothes still strewn across the room, her naked body shivering of its own accord beneath the thick duvet as she took in each and very article. She wanted so much to jump up and pull them on again, to cover herself. But each of her limbs were too heavy to allow her to move, so she shivered still, otherwise a dead weight upon the mattress.

She wanted to believe last night was real and in any other circumstance in any other place it could have been. But she knew it wasn't. How. Was the question that really flummoxed her. It had all just spiralled into this madness and... for God's sake, she didn't even _like _him. And it appeared he still didn't think all that much of her or so she thought. Because Punk, with one quick glance over his shoulder, so careless that he didn't even recognise she wasn't asleep, had gotten up and skulked soundlessly from the room. And even as she scooched further into the pillow, wishing with all her remaining might that she might sleep, or better still, that she might wake up from this very hideousness, resentment flooded her.

Not just for him, the hateful, using arse, but for herself. Because she'd let this happen as much as that bastard had pushed for it. And why? Had she... gone mad? Punk had been gentle, attentive and caring which made her want what happened between them more. But once reality had hit after their second bout of intimacy, the air that had been filled with lustful moans turned cold and that's when she knew. Because now, now she was everything Jack Brooks wanted her to be. Weak. _Pathetic_.

And she refused to be that way. In one great rush of determination, she kicked back the duvet and rushed round, snatching up her clothes, repulsed even as she simply touched them, as if they were contaminated. She threw them behind the bathroom door and got into the shower. The spray was scalding and AJ flinched, but bit hard into her lip to force herself back into it, needing to burn every trace of his filthy touch from her skin if that was the only way it could be.

Her skin was sizzling as she dressed. It was insane. She was a hostage, probably days away from her own slaughter and yet the first thing Jack had insisted she do was max out a credit card. "Making the lady comfortable" was how he put it, in that hideous hiss of his. AJ, well aware she was probably committing fraud with every transaction given that she was _not_ K S Jones, and that K S Jones was more probably at the bottom of a lake, or chopped up in a bin bag, she shopped spitefully. Oh, she intended to be comfortable. Covered in labels, not giving an ounce of her pride for these animals. Not _ever_.

At least, not until now. Was that the new game plan now? _Seducing _the victim, instead of just killing them? Oh, she thought bitterly, her reflection scowling back out at her from the surface of the mirror as she pulled her hair up into a high ponytail; that was so damn classy. And an easy way to get laid for free in the line of duty. God, she was such a whore!

She whirled round in accusation as the doorhandle creaked. Recognising him, she smiled sarcastically. "No chance you might want to avoid me today then?"

He barely even blinked, his hands stowed in his pockets.

This made her scowl tighten, shaking her head in disgust as she narrowed her eyes. "What are you looking at?"

A jerk in his neck brought his gaze away. He nibbled at his lip and went over to the dresser, setting down a tiny, round container.

AJ frowned. "Whatever that is, I don't want it. Or are you supposed to _force _it down my throat?"

"It's not like that." he said gruffly.

"And I don't care what it's _like._Whatever that nasty little poison is, I won't take it!"

"Oh for fuck's sake, it's not going to hurt you. It's from the pharmacy." AJ reeled in confusion. Punk looked awkwardly away and mumbled; "Look... last night, whatever..."

But she cut him off abruptly, snatching up the little container and rattling the little container accusingly. "What **is **this?"

Punk stared at the floor. "It's the Morning After pill."

"My **God**, you think a lot of yourself..." she said icily.

"Look..the second time..we weren't..we didn't use.. just..just take the damn thing and then we can... forget... just forget it happened!"

"I don't **need **to take it, you bastard!" she yelled, flinging the container at him in her rage. "Is this new to you Phil? Having a name... a face to put your night's worth? Because believe me, I've always worked that way, and you sweetie... you weren't all that."

"Yeah." Punk chuckled, scratching at the nape of his neck as he looked up. "I mean, everyone knows your reputation, maybe I just couldn't wait to get in on it?"

"What reputation?"

Punk arched an eyebrow, smirking. "**Both** Danielson and Jacobs? I'd _expect_to be a disappointment after that sweetheart - I haven't got what they have."

"You haven't got _much _have you Phillip?" AJ retorted smartly.

"Oh... you weren't complaining." He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Mind, I've never really had much of that. Got to be doing _something _right."

"Yeah... you keep telling yourself that."

Punk just smirked. "I don't need to, darlin'." he assured her softly. "You were doing plenty of that for me."

"You make me feel sick."

"What, and nothing more than that? God, you're an _awful _liar. Jack will enjoy that y'know. Did I mention he wants a word later?"

AJ tilted her head. "He can have several. None of them look good for you though Phil. I mean, there's touching... and then there's _touching_. Get what I mean? You must seriously have a death wish."

"Oh I get what you **mean**, April." he told her calmly, nodding. "You're saying you used me. Smart. Except... you weren't."

"Oh, I so was."

"Yeah? So why aren't you taking the pill? Don't want any nasty little surprises come the end of the month do we?"

AJ threw him a dark look. "Well, I'll tell you what Phil, you give me the list, I'll get myself tested?"

"**Take **it."

"I told you... I don't _need _to."

"Well, I'm **telling **you, you do."

"What's the matter? Can't handle your responsibilities? That's what I am right now. Unless of course you've already impregnated half the population of Chicago? God, I pity men like you."

"You weren't pitying me last night were you?"

But she smiled sweetly as she shook her head. "Of course not. How could I? One word and you're a dead man. Just like that French guy last night? The one you were going to **kill **in front of me? Had to hold your attention somehow. And I have to hand it to you... you look pretty hot when you're angry. Really must mess with the latest intake Jack hauls in? All that new blood? So young... impressionable, confused? I bet they think the same."

Punk reeled back in disgust. "You're crazy!"

"**Me?**" AJ shrieked, glaring at the little container on the carpet. "So are you if you think you can make me take _that_! One last time Phillip, loud and clear - I don't **need** the Pill! It wouldn't matter if I was working my way through all the lowlife in this place just to stop you killing each _other _to fill the time... none of you sad, pathetic little men are going to manage it, alright? I can't have kids. Heaven knows why that has to matter now anyway - or have you forgotten that your Boss wants to kill me?"

As Punk listened, his smile became a little wider with every word until he looked up into AJs face, absorbing the etchings of fright in her face. "Kill you? He wants to take you out to dinner. Enjoy that won't you? I'll be getting an early night... someplace."


	13. Chapter 13

**Ok the flashbacks of the night they spent together in Punks P.O.V are in** _Italics. _**Thanks for the reviews :)**

Someplace had a name Punk had long since forgotten. His mind all over the place. This wasn't the usual place he'd go if he was sulking but he had to take his mind off of _her_. Some sort of strip club he thought, looking around. The music was terrible.

He stayed silent. The kind of moody silence that earnt every man in a place as seedy as this instant respect because like a dormant predator, it warned that if you didn't fancy your chances in an attack, then you better fuck off. Unless of course, you happened to be a leggy, brash and ultimately easy blonde... like Lesley here. Or was that her friend? Punk couldn't care to remember. There was only one thing he wanted right now and luckily, women that got sucked into this kind of a world were more than happy to give it.

_He felt his heartbeat quicken dangerously as his eyes swept incredulously over her defiant face. Colour had flooded through her skin, but it didn't seem to affect her. She kept gasping in those shallow breaths that somehow made her whole chest heave as she refused to break his gaze. Oh God, her nerve drove him crazy._

No other thought had time to enter his head. Some other power had taken control of his body and he knew of no way to stop it. He didn't want to. His lips crashed down to hers, demanding her taste even through that gasp of surprise that had the nerve to be be born as she kissed him feverishly back, hardly knowing why.

His hand tangled in her hair, he pulled her closer and she instinctively arched her lithe body against his, needing to be closer even though she knew she could barely stand to be near him. It didn't matter now, her mouth harder on his as she clawed at the shirt on his back, the ridges of her nails sinking desperately into his shoulders.

Punk blinked, inwardly furious to realise where his thoughts had wandered. So totally off limits, especially tonight, especially now. Because right now, she was at dinner with Jack, being treated like some trophy rather than the latest hostage, the latest pawn in a plan for revenge. If he knew how, Jack was treating her like a human being right now. Was she hating it? He felt the satisfied smirk perk up the corner of his lip just at the thought. But it died away into a scowl as the next thought occured to him. Was she loving it, just to spite him?

Lesley's over-glossy lips twitched hesitantly. Punk realised she'd stopped talking and quickly refocussed his attention, leaning a little further in.

Curling the ends of her hair around her fingertip, she smiled flirtatiously and slid slowly forward on her stool so that her short skirt rode up her thigh. He looked down instinctively. But he wasn't quite seeing what Lesley had hoped.

_Pushing his weight slowly against her frame, AJ buckled willingly back against the bed, bracing herself for the drop by keeping Punks body hard against hers. Her nightgown slipping off her shoulders like another layer of shed skin as they softly hit the bed, writhing beneath him as she fumbled desperately with his belt, her attention not even focussed on her occupation as she tilted her head to the side, resting on the deep pillow, her moans unreserved as Punk sucked gently at her neck, the shocks of pain as he bit fleetingly at the base sending her wild with need._

Punk, he had only one. He wanted her. And what he wanted he had to have. He pulled himself away from her feverish body, kicking his jeans away to the floor as his hands swept teasingly over her burning thighs, easing them apart as soon as the pads of his thumbs slid over the glistening wetness on the inside. And she was moaning still as he moved up, begging to be touched.

"Please... just... mmmm, like that... ohhhh..."

It really was the sweetest sounding moan. Sexy as anything. Made him just want to keep tasting her, touching her. And...

"So why don't we... slip off?"

Jolting back to reality, Punk stood up obediently. He was not a man that needed asking twice. Besides, this woman, whatever her actual name was, was fit. Oh, he'd enjoy her just as much. And anyway, what sort of right did these thoughts have to be in his head? She was nothing... that's all she was allowed to be.

_"Please... I want... I want... oh God..."_

Oh, Punk knew what he wanted. And he wasn't sure he could wait. Luckily, Lesley seemed to have understood him well and took his hand, her long nails scratching lightly against his palm as, giggling, she pulled him into the dark, damp alley that ran between the entrance of the club and the railway line. Stray cats could be heard yowling a few feet away as they dived into the rubbish behind the club, sending dustbin lids to the ground with a deafening clatter. But such distractions only served to annoy Punk and he made a momentary decision to block it all out and just enjoy a perfectly normal experience.

Lesley tilted her head back against the grimy brick wall and grinned wickedly, drew him towards her mouth. Her lips felt rough against his. He knew a softer mouth, he knew it instantly. And it tasted so damn sweet in the place of the bitterness of this one, a nasty tinge in the garish gloss.

**Stop it PUNK!**

_"No... don't stop. Don't!"_

"Now..." Lesley chuckled throatily, smugly wiping smudges of gloss from the corners of her lips. "...what can I do for you gorgeous, hmmm?"

But he did not hear her. Not really. He was waiting for a sugary, disbelieving giggle. He'd heard it hours ago as, breathless and satisfied, AJ had leant back and fallen asleep. Punk didn't want to contemplate what Lesley looked like as she slept. He was willing to bet she didn't even take off the inch thick mask of make-up, that all the colours sank into every well disguised crack in her skin. He knew he'd never stay around long enough to see that sight, never wish to. It wasn't his style.

His stomach was wrung with nausea as Lesley slid from view, somehow thinking he'd find the way she crouched so awkwardly in front of him wearing four inch heels in this cramped alleyway a turn-on. She was smirking audibly as she reached out to unzip his fly, and he found that his hands caught hers in mid-air and pushed her back.

She frowned in confusion.

"Don't think so." he said simply.

The lines deepened as she scowled. "Why not? You were well up for it back there. Or maybe that's your problem? You like an audience?"

Punk offered her a sympathetic smile that only served to patronise her as she struggled to get up.

"Not with you. Not tonight. Headache, sorry."

"Oh, sod off!" she snapped angrily, wincing as she overbalanced on her heel and was reduced to limping out the alleyway with Punk those few confident paces in front. "Advice for you though, ratbag? Women like a man who knows what he wants. Make your mind up before you start giving out the pissin' signs yeah, or one day, you're gonna find things get ugly."

But Punk went off without a backward glance, shuddering in relief as the cold night air swirled around him. He knew what he wanted alright. She just wasn't here right now.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you all for the Views, Reviews, Favs and Follows. They mean a great deal to me :) I hope these chapters are not too long. I know it can get boring having to read for so long. Let me know if they are :)**

10pm

The restaurant was so dark that the flame flickering atop of the candle seemed to mock AJ, burning intrusively against her tired eyes. She had been sat opposite Jack across the little table, rigid. She didn't know if she dared move. She hated the whole idea of what this atmosphere was supposed to represent. She'd conjured it herself enough times, but oh, that was for lovers... and this... this? She felt sick. She didn't know whether she dared let her hand relax against the table. Because she knew by the way Jack's small watery eyes; never mind the ever present back up over his shoulder, looking naturally menancing as he stood against the wall; never left her brimming glass, he was expecting her to drain it. And she didn't for a second believe the extortinate price tag had anything to do with it. She was more suspicious of what was inside it.

So she left it and picked at her food, nervous of that too. But then it had been three days and as far as she knew, she hadn't been posioned yet. In fact, nothing that had her feel threatened or uneasy had happened to her directly. She in herself was as fine as she could be, given that she'd seen two innocent men be given savage beatings to give her nightmares and yet, somehow... somehow, she was sat here, terrified for her every gesture, wishing that maybe someone else could be sat opposite her. Not for any reason. She didn't want conversation, she didn't even want expensive wine and rich food. She just wanted to feel less sick. Of course, being aware of such a desire, the nausea intensified.

_Why couldn't she stop thinking about him?_ This was Phil for God's sake, **Punk**! The one that had been pretty happy to half kill a man for a bit of light relief until he was made to realise she was watching.

The one she'd tumbled into bed with half an hour later...

She flinched reproachfully as the thought began and forced herself to squint against the candlelight and at least appear focussed on what Jack was saying. It was hard, he always spoke so quietly. Firmly of course, but the theatrics in his speech delivery meant he never had to yell or any such thing to have his emotions understood. Not that she was all that willing to believe he harboured emotions himself.

"What do you make of him, April?"

"Sorry... who?"

"Who." Jack echoed, chuckling as he sipped at his drink. "Phillip of course!"

Sharon blinked. "Phillip? Well, um... what am I meant to think, Jack?"

Oh, AJ knew what she thought alright. She knew what she _knew_. The words had come from his own mouth - he was somewhere, screwing some nameless, brainless bimbo most probably up against an alley wall because he knew no other way to pass an evening. She wasn't sure who she pitied the most. Him, her... or herself? After all, what the hell was she doing here? Being wined and dined by one of the most dangerous men in the Chicago. Surely it wasn't right? Jack wanted her fathers attention, She was bait! She understood how that worked but... otherwise?

_Was that truly what this monster wanted? Was that what they all wanted? Even Phil?_

"Oh no..." Jack grinned, making AJs stomach squirm as he shook his head. "Hold your own April, don't need my permission to wrack that brain of yours, do you eh? Just tell me what you think!"

AJ suddenly found her throat was dry and momentarily, she couldn't have cared whether there was arsenic floating around in her wine; she took up the glass and drank in a deep sip, relieved to feel it enter her system. "I think you already know what I **think**, Jack." she said sternly. "Or are we conveniently forgetting you had my father shot?"

Jack bowed his head, his smirk directed at the table cloth as he laced his podgy hands together. "Ah, but I think we both know you can't keep your father down."

"No." AJ smiled tightly, her eyes flashing with a warning. "You can't. You won't break him, Jack. Not unless you break me. Well, not you of course... or is there some other reason I've got Phil hanging over my shoulder day and night?"

Jack's eyes widened, and all AJ could read from that was that he was affronted. She wanted fear to grip her, but somehow, it just wouldn't.

"Phillip is the best." Jack told her curtly, fleckles of spit threatening to hit her square in the face.

"You mean he doesn't get caught." she muttered dryly by way of reply.

"I taught him well."

"Oh, so that's what you call what you do is it, Jack? Teaching? _Teaching _brutality, selfishness... murder? Have they all done that for you? Picking off the insects..."

"Oh..." Jack chuckled, his chair creaking as he leant back, smugly surveying AJs features. "You don't care about them **all **sweetheart. I think you're starting to enjoy young Phillips company."

Scoffing, she looked away.

_Sense had long since left her and now it was too late for it ever to return. She wanted this, without the logic to fend it off, deny it. She wanted him so damn badly. Her regard for him was unchanged, her need to feel his fiery touch upon her eager body was not. Reason was too late now, her breathless moans escaping her in dozens as he began to make a selfish kind of love to her. And she couldn't have cared. She just wanted to... to feel... oh God... to..._

"Hmmm..." Jack frowned thoughtfully stroking his chin. "...not having the same effect on you? That'll upset the lad."

"Let it."

"I don't know... Phillip's always been a hit with the ladies. He must think you're made of stone."

"He's a pretty face Jack, nothing more than that."

"Sharp." Jack murmured, nodding his head approvingly as he raised his glass to her. She felt bile rise in her throat but swallowed it down. "One thing I will say from Phillip though... he's always done what he's told."

"You don't sound too impressed by that." AJ pointed out, unease writhing in her stomach.

Jack's hairy lip curved. "I get bored easily."

"Doesn't loyalty mean anything anymore? If he's done... everything you asked..."

"Oh he has. With a flourish. I'll be sad to lose him. But I won't bother with the retirement present. I doubt he'll need it."

AJ bit hard into her lip, repulsed by how blasé he sounded. Jack stopped speaking and peered at her before turning to the motionless hulk behind him and snapping his sausage fingers as if he was bringing a puppy to heel.

"Get the lady some water, Pierre. She's gone extremely pale, wouldn't you say?"

"I'm fine!" she said anxiously, steeling herself to cover her nerves with the safety of lies. "Can't say I'll be too fussed... Phils early retirement? Assuming this **is **early. I mean, he's what... thirty three, thirty four?"

"April..." Jack mused gleefully, his tiny eyes glittering. "...you make me sound so callous. My son Phillip is fine for now, I assure you. Unless of course, you'd rather I drafted someone else in?"  
AJ paused. Unsure of what she just heard. Did Jack call Phil his son? This was not happening. Surely he would have mentioned that little piece of information. She slept with him! With Jacks son. AJ faultered before replying.

"Well, that's my problem isn't it? I don't know what he's there for. He just is. Not even one imaginative threat to come my way, Jack?"

"We'll have to wrack our brains." he drawled with a wink as Pierre reappeared, looking like he could shatter the glass of water in his hand just by holding it. He set it down in front of her and dropped back on his heel, ready to slink back into the shadows when Jack snapped his fingers again, one eye still on AJ, a most unattractive smirk in the corner of his lip as he barked, "Champagne."

AJ tried to hold back a grimace. She didn't want a drink. Still, if Jack emptied the bottle, she was quite sure she'd have a fair few uses for that. _Oh Jesus, this was what Hell must have felt like._

**1AM**

The only thing to challenge the way AJs head pounded as she was returned to the hotel was the way her feet ached. Pierre had been given the task of walking her to her very door. She deliberately walked a pace and a half in front of him, every corridor completely bathed in darkness. So it was difficult to keep her distance from him, forever wandering into one side of the wall and then stumbling into the other, cursing hotly.

She felt that alien hand reach out for her many times, but she always leapt away before his touch was secure, growling; "Just because your boss fancies his chances... get the fuck off me." And she wandered off, muttering; "Fuckin' repulsive arseholes."

Pierre's footsteps always quickened to match AJs, but she wrenched the doorhandle of her room down and crashed over the threshhold, standing against the door as she blocked the way for Pierre to follow her into the equally pitch black room.

"I'll be fine, thank you!" she snapped, slamming the door shut in his emotionless face. Tilting her head forward, she rested her weight against the door, groaning. This whole evening had been utterly hideous. Why couldn't someone do something that was... normal around here? Beat her? Kill her? She felt like with every snippet of information she had been forced to take in she was being tortured, and she couldn't even try and blot it out with alcohol, given that if she drank, Jack was probably watching thinking he was about to get lucky. Jesus, they really would have to kill her first.

Balancing awkwardly on one foot and then the other, she wrenched the horrid heels from her feet and let them each drop to the floor with a thud. Then she collected up her hair and loosened the tie of her halterneck, letting the front of the dress drop away from her breasts. She couldn't wait to shake the material away, hoping then she would feel a little less dirty. The dress had not been her choice. No, it had apparantly been Jack's insistence, so AJ was well aware that in the silent moments tonight, he had been leering at her as she had been sent crazy with all these thoughts.

"Need any help with that?"

AJs hand flew to her mouth as she whirled around in the darkness, slamming hard up against the wall and grappling to pull the material up again to cover herself. She blinked furiously against the light the lamp threw out, illuminating the features of a face that had haunted her all night. And he didn't seem to look any worse for it.

Punk was sat on the edge of the bed, a can of pepsi held in both hands. Drinking in AJs surprise, his smirk stretched that little higher.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she seethed.

"I got bored." he said simply, setting the can down by his feet as he got up, his attention very much focused on the way she was struggling to cover her breasts, she was shaking so furiously. "Thought I'd come see how your night was? How's Jack, did he rock your world? Or did he need a bit of help, because you know what, that Pierre, he's like a school kid, really eager to please. Probably still thinks it'll get him somewhere. Poor bastard, it's embarrassing more than anything..."

"Shut up." AJ demanded bluntly. "Just shut up. It was hideous and you _knew _it'd be like that!"

But Punk was unmoved as he came towards her, smirking still. "I dunno... it's not looking too bad at the moment!"

Scowling, she turned towards the wall and began trying to re-tie her dress. Punk stepped up behind her and she froze, wondering whether he was about to do a half human thing and tie it for her. Or maybe he was going to choke her. She realised now, anything was possible, but wasn't all that sure she cared as long as she never had to repeat a night such as this.

She felt his breath, warm on the back of her neck. Anticipation began to make her tingle without her permission. And yet, before that could truly irritate her, his lips were skimming her skin. She tried to stop herself falling backwards through shock and similarly, relief.

"One word." he murmured. "One... and I'll go."

"You can't." AJ replied shakily.

"Oh I can, sweetheart. I've never stayed where I'm not wanted."

Silently, he secured the tie around her neck, pulling her round by the hand to force her to level with his gaze. She stood hard against the wall, her heartbeat quickening dangerously, just like before.

"Well?" he pushed.

"I... I don't know what you're expecting me to do."

He smiled softly, humoured by such a response. "OK. No problem. I'll see you tomorrow then. ."

But there was a problem. Because he moved away to the door - he really was going to leave. He wasn't forcing anything when AJ knew she'd be powerless to stop him if he wanted to play it that way. He was going to just go - and she couldn't let him, lurching for his hand and levelling with his step. There was no doubt what was coming next. And, she welcomed it. His mouth was immediately fierce upon hers and she had never quite tasted a kiss like this, so demanding, starved. He sent her half mad in every way she knew. And yet, now, this was all that made sense. And AJ wanted so much to just be swept up in the madness of this frantic connection, but fear beat erratically inside her and she needed it to be soothed, even as she tore again at his clothes. This wasn't a fear he had created. But it was his, because...

"Phil..." she gasped, breaking desperately away from the insistence of that sweet mouth. "He's going to kill you. You're **father** is going to kill you"

She knew. He thought. Jack must have told her. Shit. He would have to deal with the fallout to that later..because right now this was about them..nobody else. "I know." was his only breathless reply, his kisses forced back upon her lips as his hands went wildly across her exposed, beautiful body.

"No!" she whimpered, fighting to regain some of the strength stolen in each touch. "You don't understand! He... He told me... tonight! Soon, he's going to... to..."

Punk twisted his hip in against hers, which caused her to lose her balance and rely on him to lower her down on the bed. For the moments their bodies were apart, AJ was feverish, consoled only as he covered her, hands caressing as his lips teased her body, making her desperate for his touch all over again. And yet, as the pleasure built, that fright kept her eyes wide, not quite believing Phil had heard, or less understood her words.

But he had.

"I know."


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok this is a filler for something big that's about to happen in the next few chapters :)**

AJ had wanted so much to argue with him. But how could she? They both knew she knew nothing of him. And yet she knew the time she had spent with him could have been so frightfully different. But she felt as though he was halfway to respecting her and in the facing of all this nauseating uncertainty, that meant a lot. Attraction, if that was indeed what it was, couldn't possibly be all that was between them now. He had been ready to leave, not prepared to enforce anything She herself didn't want. And maybe it had primarily been their proximity that had meant AJ found herself succumbing to him. But now... now she wanted so much more. She wanted to know he'd be safe, that he might come to her again.

But she knew nothing. And she hated it. With those last few words, he had left her alone, still naked in her bed. And all at once she felt cold and lonely. Not used, whether or not that was what she had been. Of course Punk might be using her! But at least he'd had the guts to make her face up to the possibility. Only, it didn't matter anymore. Because whether or not she trusted him, liked him... he didn't deserve to die. She spent hours shivering beneath the covers as his warmth died slowly away from the sheets. Just the thought that he... oh God!

She wasn't all that naive - she'd seen what he'd been willing to do to that French guy hadn't she? She knew how much worse it would have been. She knew he would have undoubtedly done many things to make her blood run cold. And yet it was not one of these things that were going to cost him his life. Someday soon, the man was going to die simply because. There was no reason.

She'd listened intently to the stillness of the blackened room for most of the night. She did not hear the shuffling of footsteps outside her door like seemed usual to her now. Punk was not there. Nor was anybody. She could have just got up, pulled on her clothes and ran, maybe not to come into contact with anyone that might have stopped her. But fear kept her pinned, sobbing quietly into the bed.

And now, she did not feel any better for the hours she had slept. Terrors had plagued her - filled with pained screaming, cold eyes and blood... so much of it. _She'd been trapped in the eerie, black surroundings, her heart pounding as she searched for someone... anyone. Who could be so tortured as to cry out as if their soul was torn? Was it Zack? Had he yelled like that as he was beaten so savagely by so many with the resolve to kill him? Was it Fabian... still screaming out for his wife, for mercy, just to return to her? Or... was it Phil? Because the threat to his life was now true, it was coming. And AJ, she was powerless to stop it, even as she frantically called his name. No-one answered her. Only the screaming as if it was never going to stop..._

She'd woken in a rather drenched jolt just before six. She laid there, rigid apart from the way she shook, absolutely terified. She tried to train her breathing, to take in the normality of her surroundings. She tried to tell herself that everything... everyone was fine. Punk was not broken. No. He was somewhere close. He was fine.

Her shaking subsiding only a little as she pulled herself up, shivering as the morning air licked menacingly at her bare skin. She was barely warmed by the scalding spray of the shower as she climbed into the cubicle. She dried off and dressed quickly, hiding herself away in a roll-neck jumper and long trousers. She took her time with her hair and make-up, reapplying the latter a good few times as she fought to steady her hand.

She had just replaced her mascara brush and was carefully brushing through her hair, that was practically dry she had taken so long to compose herself, when someone crashed through the door. She whirled round, hope swelling in her chest and then bursting like a bubble as she recognised Pierre. She scowled instinctively, but as ever, his expression was unchanged.

"Boss wants to see you." he said gruffly.

AJs stomach lurched. "Wh-Why?"

"You don't ask questions like that."

Taking a deep breath, she hurriedly twisted her hair and pinned it up, swallowing to lubricate her dry mouth as she stood up. She slipped past Pierre and stood nervously in the hallway, biting down into her lip to control her shivering. She didn't want him, or anyone to see her weakened in any sort of way.

He closed the bedroom door and cleared his throat, moving off down the hallway without so much as a glance at her. She was grateful, but it didn't make it any easier to follow him. Flight after flight of stairs, she felt sick. She could feel her knees trembling, but kept her pace at steady strides, her palms sweating as she gripped each length of banister.

The foyer was dim, but expansive. Without a word, more of a grunt, Pierre ushered her across to what would have been the reception office. But she knew she wasn't about to come face to face with a bubbly, talkative receptionist. No. Because as she looked anxiously to her left, into a small corner hidden well by the position of the walls, she found herself looking at Punk, who flinched the moment their eyes met.

She tried to smile, but... he wasn't looking at her. His fiery eyes had found Pierre.

"What's going on?"

"What's it got to do with you?" Pierre demanded dryly.

"Don't piss me about. What's she doing down here? What's he want with her?"

"A _word_." he was informed dangerously.

"You can drop the attitude - and you can fuck off. Anything that goes on between him and her is my business, not yours."

Pierre smirked. The idea that he had any control over his facial muscles after so long surprised AJ more than anything. "Already briefed **you** though hasn't he? You're not... _needed_."

AJ saw Punks eyes flare and wanted to say something, to stop... everything. And she couldn't. All she could do was walk through the door. Alone, unprotected - with only Jack for company.

"What happened to knocking?" he barked.

"Sorry Jack." AJ whispered as she closed the door. He looked up at the sound of her voice and straightened up, that repulsive smile curving his lip, his small watery eyes darting hungrily over her form. Her stomach twisted.

"April..."

Pushing her hair over her shoulder, she held her head steady, even finding the courage to force herself to smile. "What can I do for you, Jack?"

"Take a seat."

She wanted to refuse, just to irritate him, but she daren't. She could feel the fear tightening her chest, even as she sank down in the chair opposite the vast, littered desk.

"My boys keeping you entertained then my girl?"

A chill rocketed down her spine as she looked at him. Did he... know?

_"...he'd kill me twice over!"_

"S-Sorry?" she blustered.

"That's what I thought." The folds in Jack's flabby neck creased further as he nodded. "I'm thinking you should get out for a while. A drive maybe?"

"Well, that's... generous Jack, but... why? I thought the idea of being a missing person was that I'm not seen."

"Oh, you won't be." he assured her brightly, as if they were discussing options in a hairdressers. "No. Phillip knows to make sure of that."

AJ shivered. The idea of any amount of time alone with Punk should have placated her a little. But... a drive? Oh, she knew what that meant in this existence. It meant the end. But who for?

"Yeah? So what else is he supposed to make sure of?"

"Now, now!" Jack mused with a sharp intake of breath. "We shan't touch a hair on your head... you have my word."

"Then you'll have to forgive me." AJ replied tartly.

"I'm sure of it. You see April, I haven't heard a word from that good-for-nothing father of yours! Anyone would think he didn't care."

"He's looking for me, Jack." she assured him. His smile widened as he nodded again.

"Wouldn't expect anything less. Problem is... I think we need to point Daddy in the right direction. So... off you go."

"What are you going to do?" she scoffed. "Wave me in front of him like bait and expect him to come to you and get himself killed twice over?"

Jack heaved himself from the chair and moved around the desk, his podgy hand falling heavily on AJs arm, making her flinch in disgust that she tried fruitlessly to control as his fingertips stroked across the material of her top. She was only thankful that he could not reach her skin.

"I wouldn't dream of it." he whispered thickly. But she could almost taste the threat on his foul breath.

He stepped back and opened the door, tilting his head and indicating it was time for AJ to get going. She did so gladly, grateful to get back into the foyer, which, however dank, suddenly appeared light in comparison to the office.

"Here she is then, Phillip!" Jack boomed happily. "All yours..."

Punk glanced at AJ distractedly as he straightened up away from the wall. "Right. Well..."

AJ turned smartly on her heel and began to walk off without his direction. She barely cared where she was going. She just wanted to get out. She heard Punks footsteps behind her and little else beside a bunch of keys jangling in his hand so he was obviously unconcerned at her pace. It felt strange to just be able to walk out the door. It made uneasy butterflies dance in her stomach as true sunlight, however weak, poured down into her all-seeing eyes for the first time in days. She drank in every unremarkable detail in wonderment as her heel scraped the uneven pavement.

This moment had allowed Punk to catch her up effortlessly, but he did not stop once he levelled with her. He kept going and that wrenched at her a little bit as she quickened her step to follow him. There was something really wrong in the way he was holding himself. Head down, shoulders hunched, like he didn't want to be seen. She supposed that was normal when you were having to go about the business of a man like Jack but... no. It was almost as if he didn't want to be seen by AJ herself either.

She rounded the corner and almost leapt out of her skin as she half collided with Punk, half slumped back against the side of the brick building. But he didn't even flinch, his eyes dead and unregistering as he looked at her as quickly as he looked away again.

AJ bit anxiously into her lip and dared to breathe his name. "Phil?"

He shuddered at the sound of his name from her sweet lips and AJ watched his hand curl into a fist around the keys.

"Hey..." she murmured, rounding on him and pressing her hands gently around his face, before stretching up to brush his quivering lips. "...what's the matter?"

Sighing heavily, he pushed her back and raised the key fob to the dark BMW sat at the kerb. The sound of the unlocking made her jump, but she forced herself to step into the road, her unsteady hand caressing the gleaming bonnet as she moved round the front of the car to the passenger door. She looked over the roof at Punk and he inadvertently found himself looking back at her. But to her, it was still as if he did not see her. And right now, that scared her more than anything.

She sank heavily into the passenger seat, her hands shaking in her lap as she waited. For something... anything. But Punk was motionless beside her. He'd put the key in the ignition, but he still held it tight in his fist. His whole body was rigid. He couldn't twist the key and suddenly, his eyes were all that were alive, with so much AJ didn't even dare try and understand. It took her several lonely seconds to realise that Punks lips were quivering.

He was speaking. Feverishly, in a whisper she could barely allow herself to hear.

"I swear... I don't want to do this..."


	16. Chapter 16

**9AM**

"Do... what?" AJ pushed anxiously as her mouth ran dry. "Phil?"

But he made no effort to even register her presence beside him, steeling himself to turn the key in the ignition. His hands weren't all that steady as they curled around the steering wheel, but somehow, the mechanics of how to drive were still known to him, AJs stomach lurched fearfully. He knew... oh God, he knew she hated not knowing - but was to know somehow worse?

_Was Punk truly about to become her killer?_

She began to tremor as she settled back. She tried to take in the surroundings that slipped past her as they drove, wishing desperately she could just place herself somewhere. But she was as lost as ever, left with only Punk to trust. And now, she felt as though she trusted him less than not at all. And she didn't want it to be that way. But now... now she was scared.

AJ looked over at him so many times, but he'd never meet her eye. He looked as terrified as she felt. Sympathy would have kicked at her again if only she knew what was coming. Punk was the only one that knew, and he was pointedly silent. Inwardly, he was going crazy. Still, he wanted to know what it was about her that had weakened him so much as to break the golden rule after so long. Any free woman out there could have been his, however fleetingly. Why had he been so unable to stop himself going back to AJ?

He supposed it was her strength of character. Threat had been all around her from the moment she had been taken from her club and yet she was still brave enough to... snipe, hold her head high. He respected her. He'd never felt anything like that for a woman before. They were there to be so willingly used and enjoyed. And perhaps, he'd already done both. But as a result, the idea that he'd have to be the one to destroy her...

God, he felt so sick. And he couldn't miss the way AJ was curled up on the passenger seat, shaking. He had her scared on Jack's word. And he hated it. So damn much.

There was a satisfied wrench in his gut as he, with his last surge of rebelling strength, turned off their course and travelled another half an hour in such heavy silence. AJs eyes were dull and unregistering, full of unshed tears. She did not bother to lift her head and take in her surroundings until she realised they were known to her.

Jolting as she straightened up, she craned her neck jerkily to take in the staggering normality of the exit route out of Chicago.

"What... Why are we... here? Phil... what's...?"

Still he could not make himself turn his head to look at her. He kept staring straight ahead, his hands gripped so tight around the steering wheel that his knuckles were white. He blanched at his lip, forcing himself to think of nothing besides how much he would despise himself if he hurt her.

"Get out, April. Go home."

Staggered, She could do little but blink at him as she cautiously unplugged her seatbelt with shaking hands.

"This... isn't what Jack wants, is it?"

Though he still did not look her in the face, she saw him flinch.

"_Phillip!_"

"It's what **I **want." he cried out desperately, his anxiously shimmering eyes locking on hers. "Go!"

Reading his fright, she realised that whatever it was Jack did want, it was more than he could stand. "What are you supposed to do?"

"That doesn't matter." he answered distractedly. "You'll be with your family, you'll be safe, you'll-"

"**You'll **be dead!" AJ threw back instantly, chest constricting painfully at the realisation.

Punk cast his eyes down. "So what?"

"What do you mean "so what?" When Jack realises... he'll tear you into pieces."

"He's gonna do that anyway!" he argued hotly. "Don't make me do it to you too."

"Phil..." she whispered frightfully, scooting across her seat, her back straightened against the dashboard as she pressed her hand forcefully over his around the steering wheel. "...look at me, please."

Biting so desperately hard into his lip that AJ realised it was stained with blood, Punk looked at her, shaking so furiously in repulsion that he could barely hold his head steady.

"What does Jack want?"

His lips quivered, the words he needed to speak faltering so many times. "Send... a little warning back to your dad."

AJ nodded slowly, swallowing down her fear. Enough of such an emotion was present in Punks own face. "How?"

His tortured eyes narrowed and he shook his head furiously, rebuffing her words. "I won't do it."

"**How **Phil?"

"How do you think?" he questioned weakly.

"Are you supposed... to kill me?"

In the moments of silence that followed, Punks desperate shaking transformed into violent convulsing. "I'm supposed... to stop short."

Clawing back her own anxious lips, AJ sank uncomfortably back onto her knees. Her heart was beating so erratically against her ribs as she tried to comprehend it all that she was hardly sure she was breathing anymore.

This was a man that was supposed to be cold on the inside, to think nothing of any instruction he was given. And she was just a woman. A lesser being in these circles. She'd rubbed Punk up the wrong way from the moment they had met, still they barely liked each other and yet so much that was unexplainable had passed between them. AJ knew what he was capable of and yet... he'd taken care of her. He'd treated her so well, even in their most vicious of moments together. And now he was a condemned man. And somehow he was less cold. There was real emotion to be seen coming from him. Fear... remorse, everything she never expected to see in the face of any of Jacks men.

Maybe that was just it. Punk was not Jacks man. Once, yes, of course, but now? He was going against the man who held his life in his hands - to save her.

And she wanted so much to get up, to get out and run back to her family. But Punk was so very wrong on one count. She was not going to be safe there. If he wasn't supposed to kill her, then she was meant to go back with him, barely alive, all for Jack's viewing. And then, at some time, Punk would be murdered just as senselessly anyway, dying a man so full of self-loathing.

And yet, if she went now, if she ran and he went back alone, she knew he would pay violently with his life for failing the simplest and worn of instructions. And she simply couldn't live with the guilt of taking his life. Especially not when she knew there was nothing to stop Jack coming for them all. And in that case, she doubted very much that Punk would be the only one to pay. Because, and oh, AJs blood ran cold, there would be her father, there would be her brother.

So bravely, she turned back to Punk and said; "You have to do it."

His stormy features twisted in disgust. "**No! **I want you to go... now!"

"But I can't! And you know that!"

"Do I?"

"Phil... if you don't do this, you know he'll kill you."

"Let him." he replied darkly. "Because I couldn't live with myself."

"You think I could live with _myself_, knowing what happened to you because of me?"

Punk shrugged. "Why not? I don't mean nothing."

"Yes you do!"

"Why?" he demanded viciously, snapping his head round to look at her. "You don't know what you're talking about April, you never will. So just go."

AJ turned away, reaching over to the doorhandle, her palm sweaty as it closed around it. Through the glass, she looked longingly around at her location. She was so close to freedom. But it was little comfort, knowing what she would cause if she went now.

"I'm going with you, Phil." she said simply, pulling her hand back.

"No you're not." he retorted angrily. "It isn't an option."

AJ sighed heavily and twisted so she sank properly back against the passenger seat. "Listen to me... if they're going to come for you anyway, don't make it be my fault. Please. That's not fair."

"You don't have to care."

"But I do!" she insisted shakily, her voice heightened by a swell of emotion. "I _do_ care, don't you know that? I have to go with you... and you **have **to do what Jack wants."

"No!" he insisted in frustration, slamming his fist against the steering. "I told you... I can't. I won't."

"I'm asking you, Phillip. Please."

A sharp laugh of disbelief sputtered from his mouth as he turned to look at her. "But you don't know what you're asking April. You don't. And I don't want to be the one to open your eyes. I don't want you to see the truth, I don't want you to feel it. I just want to know you'll be alright."

AJ tilted her head thoughtfully. "You don't have to care either."

Punk scowled. "You mean I'm not supposed to know how. Believe me sweetheart, I wish I didn't, but it's you, isn't it? You've done something to me. I don't know what and I wish you hadn't - but I'm not gonna touch you."

"You have to!" AJ pushed. "If you don't... someone else will and they'll mean it. No-one else is trying to protect me like you are. I... I need to do the same for you. So I'm going with you... and you'll do what you need to, OK?"

Punk swallowed down a lump in his throat and shook his head fiercely. "I'd never forgive myself."

AJ sighed gently and leant across, the pad of her thumb stroking just beneath Punks eye to quash the tears that had begun to fall.

"_I'll _forgive you, Phil."


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you guys for all your reviews. You are all awesome but in paticular Red Foxy. Thank you for helping me decide on the direction this chapter was taking. I was in two minds about the role Punk would play but I think it went well. And as it's Sunday, this shall be my last update for a few days, as it's back to the land of sucky reality :)  
**

* * *

**10AM  
**

Though her heart was pounding painfully in her chest, though her palms were drenched and she couldn't control the amount she shook, AJ sat up proudly, alert as she took in the path they drove. Turning off down a small gravel road, AJ smiled wryly as they flew past the direction posts. Punk seemed to have his eyes half closed in disgust as he drove. But in all this madness, she was somehow settled. She knew where they were going. Heading straight for the abandoned warehouse Jack had told her about. Where he'd had countless people dragged and slaughtered. But all she had to do was look over at Punk and she knew, whatever he did to her, she was safer in his hands than in any others. It was going to be OK.

Punk didn't appear to be of the same opinion as they pulled into a side road and the warehouse lurched omniously from the shadows. AJs own stomach twisted a little, but Punk shook violently, hardly able to pull up the clutch as they swung to a stop on the gravel, sending up dusty clouds.

"Let me take you home." he pleaded in a whisper, his eyes not daring to seek out hers. "Please!"

AJ shook her head gently. Punk hung his in shame, watching her climb steadily from the car, shivering against the wind. She moved around the front of the car and pressed her hands flat against the bonnet as she leant back, waiting for him to step up beside her. He did so slowly, biting guiltily into his lip. But a soft smile curved AJs.

"Just you and me, right?"

He nodded jerkily. "Yeah, I... I think so. Wasn't supposed to be that way but-"

AJ tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

Punk lifted his head and threw over a piercing look. "You think I could have left you to three of them?"

She shuddered. "Three? Wow, you must have promised Jack a good job."

"Stop it!" he hissed angrily. "Stop being so fuckin' _flippant_!"

In that second, she realised how hurt he looked and was silenced, reduced to staring at the ground. Recognising out the corner of her eye that he was looking the other way, she straightened her back and walked towards the warehouse, her head high as the gravel crunched threateningly beneath her feet.

"April!"

She only slowed as Punk called her name and bolted towards her. He stood in front of her, shifting his weight awkwardly from foot to foot. AJ recognised his unease and... shaking a little herself, she offered him her hand. He blinked, stunned, before looking up at her like she was mad, as if she didn't know what the two of them were here for.

AJ didn't pull back however. She just laughed nervously. "C'mon Phil, you're either with me here, or you're totally against me. And I know you're not."

No, he wasn't. So he reached out and took her hand, the two of them shaking a little more fiercely as this connection was made. But they each hung on a little desperately as they walked on.

"So..." She began, sucked in a breath as they stood before the huge doors. "...I'm guessing you have the key or whatever?"

Punk was more frowning as he uncurled his palm and set to work. AJ was reluctant to drop his hand, but saw that he required both and stepped back, wrapping her arms around herself as she shivered against the cold - that seemed to be coming more from the warehouse than the air around her. But still, when there was room enough, she stepped bravely inside.

She was immediately dwarfed. The place was so empty it was terrifying. It was absolutely huge and there was literally nothing inside it besides the pillars that held it up, right from the cold concrete floor to the drafty rafters. Absolutely nothing. And people, more than she would ever believe, had been left to die in this.

AJ spun round in a terror as the doors were wrenched back again, clanging deafingly together as they closed. Punk smiled in an apology he knew he could barely mean given their circumstance, but she didn't care. She didn't allow the sound of her amplified footsteps to frighten her as she went to him, shivering still. But it didn't matter. She could smile as she stretched up to kiss him in a way he just couldn't understand. As she dropped back onto her heels, Punk caught her hand and dropped the keys into it.

"Go." he pleaded again in a shallow breath. "Please April..."

"I can't. You know I can't."

His lip trembled. "I won't do this."

"Yes you will." she whispered tenderly, nestled into the crook of his neck and gently kissing a trail all the way up to the unwilling ear she whispered against. "Because I'm asking you to."

"You think that makes it better?" he demanded bitterly as he pushed her away. "I _don't _want to hurt you..."

"But you have to. There's no choice. Phil, I'll think so much more of you for this..."

"You don't think _anything _of me, April, remember?"

"I didn't mean to say that."

"You were right to."

"Shhhh, that's not true." she insisted shakily.

"Why isn't it? I'm the one... beating the life out of innocents aren't I? Using you for what I can get?"

"I know thatisn't true." AJ said fiercely.

"Do you?" Punk challenged.

"Yes! You might be a user, I can't deny that. And I should imagine it was pretty easy to pick up whoever you wanted. So why choose me when you know Jack would kill you for it? That's not why any of this is happening. If it was, you wouldn't care. You'd just have used me like you have everyone else and you wouldn't have a problem with beating me already. And I know you do. But I... I need you to do this. I trust you."

He laughed coldly. "Yeah, because that's totally what you have to say to the guy being paid to half kill you. You're lying, April. I remember, see. You don't trust me - and most of the time, you don't even like me."

AJ scowled. "That isn't what I said."

Punk shrugged. "It's true enough."

"**No!** It's _not._ I'll admit alright, I'm not exactly relishing in this prospect, because yeah, everything you've come from scares me a little. It cost me my dad for half my life. But where is he? Why are you here, having to do this? Because he isn't paying enough attention, he doesn't care! And you... you've been in my life _days_ and you... you're the only person I'm sure of and that scares me even more, especially now I know what Jack wants with you, and I... I can't lose you yet. I'm too terrified."

"Right. So this is what you want from every guy you trust? Bruises halfway across your body?"

"I told you... I want to protect you too. And to be honest, I'd rather anything than be on my own right now. Just tell me what you need me to do..."

"Do?" Punk hissed. "To make me flip you mean? To make me want to beat you senseless?"

"Exactly." Punk glowered at her however and she was forced to bite into her lip and surmise, "I'll have to use my imagination then? Tell me... what was your mothers name again?"

Before Punk could answer her, the warehouse doors opened, making them both jump and look round. Entering, three familiar faces.

"What's up Punk? We havn't missed out in all the fun have we?"

Punk took a protective step infront of AJ. Clearly not understanding what was going on.

"Why are _you_ here? I told Jack I could deal with this myself" he growled.

One of the brutes lifted both his hands in defense, "Hey, nothing to do with me, Boss wanted us here. Said he needs you for something else, So you are now officially relieved of this duty. You can go wait in your car, but don't leave, you've to take her back once we're finished.

Punk could feel AJ stiffen behind him. Fear radiating from her small frame.

"Guys come on, I'm quite capable of doing this alone. Trust me." Punk replied, trying to hide the desperation in his voice.

"I don't doubt that for a second Punk, but orders are orders, so if you don't mind, I've been waiting the whole ride here to get my hands on this little beauty" the brute smirked as he proceeded to put on his leather gloves. AJ knew what was next.

Punk moved away from her, fists clenched as he stepped up to him. "You _really_ don't want to do this!" But before another word was said, Punk felt hands on him from behind, grabbing his biceps as he was roughly dragged towards the door. Only managing to look around once. His eyes finding her, her tiny frame, hunched over in defeat, hands covered her mouth stopping the gutteral cries that were enveloping her. Eyes focusing on nothing but his, full of tears. That was going to be the last image of _his_ April he had before those bastards got their hands on her.

He was shoved out of the doors, losing his balance, Punk fell onto the gravel. Scrambling to his feet he tried to make his way back in but he was too late as he heard the inside lock turn.

Slamming both fists against the doors, he knew it was futile. He unclenched his fists and pressed his palms and forehead against the large barrier between them, he closed his eyes letting a tear escape, falling down his cheek. The image of her frightened face imprinted on his brain. He began to whisper over and over.

"I'm so sorry April, Im so, so sorry."


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you for the views and reviews. Sorry it's taken a few days but it's now officially the weekend for me and I intend to make the most of the free time I have working on this and being mummy bear to my 2 kiddos. This is a pretty long chapter to make up for the past 5 days :)**

* * *

Curled up on the passenger seat, her arms folded protectively around her tender stomach, AJ bit desperately hard into her bloodied lip to fight back a whimper of pain. She'd sworn to him before he'd laid so much as a finger on her, that she would not cry as a result of any injury he inflicted. But now it was different. He wasn't the one who had hurt her. After they had finished, they left her in a heap on the cold floor. Punk was by her side the second the doors were unlocked. She had never seen so much self-loathing in one tortured face. She would not allow herself to take her eyes from him, as he gently scooped her up, being careful not to hurt her more. He'd been in very silent tears the whole way through. Listening, pacing, going completely out of his fucking mind. Waiting for it to be done. So he could see her again. He could hear her begging for it to stop, pleading with them in such shattered whispers after every single strike. And he was the one that couldn't do a damn thing about it.

Irritating she may have been, but she did not deserve what Jack was demanding. Punk hardly cared that had he returned to Jack without evidence of AJs injuries that he would have been dragged here and destroyed. Slowly, painfully. Just to know that one good presence in his miserable life was safe then... oh, just once, he would have done something... honourable. Of course, the idea was laughable now.

He knew that somehow, there was a deep gash in her thigh that by the look of the darkened patch on her trousers, was still bleeding. Her lip was thick and bloodied, perhaps split. Her stomach was nothing more than a palette of bruises and her shoulders were marked by the imprint of fingertips they had held her so roughly. Guilt tore him open. She couldn't help but rub at her neck as she curled up helplessly there, new colour having brought old injuries to life. She was hoping that with the curtain of her hair, he would not see the movement, but he did and it made him feel sickened at himself. There was a great red outline, about the size of a fist, strangely enough, that had swamped her right eye, an oozing cut above the left where fingernails had caught her.

And he had taken all of this in before they had torn up the side street. They almost spiralled off the road as he slammed on the brakes, but AJ was too engulfed in pain to care. Hardly daring to breathe as that ill-feeling tightened in his chest, Punk kicked at the door and fought his way out into the open air, before he found that he was thrown helplessly forward, leaning heavily against the brick wall as he was violently sick.

_Sick at himself. _Why didn't he do something .Anything.

He spluttered groggy as the upsurge of acid burnt at his throat, such sickness not done with him yet as he reeled again.

AJ was brought to some kind of half life as she heard him wretch and fought back the pain seering through her to push at the door (her shoulder twinged sharply in protest) and climb down from the seat (her trousers immediately felt damper as the tentative knitting of the gash in her thigh promptly split and released the blood seeking to heal the wound).

"Phil? Are you...?"

She reached out to place her blood stained hand (it had been covering her lip for a long while) comfortingly in the small of his back, but he reached out blindly to force her away as he coughed.

"You shouldn't... have moved."

"I want to know you're alright!"

Needing a good few moments to let the blood rush away from his head and totally comprehend the sincerity of what she was saying, Punk drew in many ragged breaths before he could force himself to straighten up, biting guiltily into his lip.

"How can I be alright? Look at you... look at what _I've _done!"

"No! You didn't do this." AJ said softly. "You didn't hurt me."

"Yes I did!" he snapped. "Because I didn't stop it! I did that to you! I did all of that! I could have stopped it. How can you say you'll forgive that?"

"Because I do. We had no choice. Yeah things didn't go to plan. But it..." Unfortunately, she was betrayed as she winced at a sharp pain coursing like electricity through her side. "...doesn't hurt all that much."

"I should _never_..."

"Shhhh." AJ advised shakily, pressing a fingertips briefly to his lips. "You need some water now."

He looked at her ludicrously and offered up his own suggestion. "I need a good kicki-"

"Stopit!" she said sharply.

When he was silenced, she took a deep, sobering breath.

"Will you be alright to drive?"

"Why?" he asked dryly. "Want to give it a go, did you?"

With no words to answer him while he was so determined to despise himself, AJ watched him turn back towards the car. She tried to follow him, but found herself screaming out in unconstrained agony as she took her first limping step. Punk whirled round in a panic, completely stricken as he bolted forward to support her. She fell against him grateful as tears built in her eyes and she gasped; "I'm sorry... I know I said I wouldn't-"

"Shut up." he whispered guiltily. "I'm the one that should be sorry. And I am sweetheart, I... oh God, I-"

But AJ shook her head desperately to dispel his words, whimpering through her pain as she went back and curled up on the passenger seat in the only way that was comfortable. She was snuggled down, twisted so many ways at once she wasn't all that sure she was still in one piece. But she was content to watch Punk, just there as he drove. She was sure she could see his regret pulsing away in his throat, but it was thankfully never born into anything that would serve to torment her. They didn't say a word to each other the whole way. But that was Ok too.

Punk sighed heavily as he parked up behind the hotel and withdrew his phone from his pocket to send for them. A few of the animals today would no doubt have killed AJ if he hadn't of been there. He wanted to go to her, carry her carefully back to her bed and hope she might sleep some of the agonies away. But he couldn't.

No greeting came as the call connected. So Punk simply spoke. "She's here... mmm, out back."

"Job done?" Pierre demanded stiffly.

Guilt threatened to split Punks chest as he cast his eyes over AJs pained form, and replied bitterly; "I could have done a better job myself given the chance."

Then he hung up, replacing his phone in his pocket and sitting back. It was then he realised that AJs eyes were still fixed upon him, as if enthralled.

He struggled for words to fill the unnerving silence. "Feeling... any better?"

Smiling dreamily, she shook her head. "No. You?"

"No."

He flinched as her bloody hand crept into his lap, dropping through his own idle fingers and squeezing fiercely. "I'll need to fix that."

"You can't."

"Yes I can." she assured him innocently. Fright stole her next breath as she recognised Pierre come storming down the fire escape, striding towards the car. Instinctively, she held Punks hand tighter. "I'll see you tonight, won't I?"

Silence. Heavy, guilty silence. And Pierre was almost at her door.

"Promise me, Phil"

* * *

Pierre was stationed outside AJs bedroom door for the rest of the day. She didn't move. She lay rigid beneath the covers, wincing her way through the shocks of pain. He'd been told to check on her regularly and she got used to the way she went cold every time the door creaked and conveniently, Pierre always found her asleep. She even got used to the pattern of his breathing and she began to resent it as the hours passed. She hated everything about him. He'd jerked her arm roughly and pulled her in to face Jack. In turn, Jack had barely looked up from his occupation, apparently recognising his visitors by little more than the abruptness that Pierre entered the room.

"You know what to do..."

And for perhaps the first time, AJ feared she was really about to meet her end. She was so weak anyway. And the pain that had been caused by those animals was nothing compared to what Pierre caused her to feel as he forced her on. Blood was still upon her lips she had bitten it so hard trying to keep back her screams of agony. And when she found she couldn't, tears pouring desperately down her face, Pierre seemed only to feed off it, the cruelest smile curving his lips. AJ thought instantly of Punk, how he had told her even Jack believed there were certain things you didn't do to a woman. How false was all that now? Jack had her beaten at the most willing of hands, just to get her father's attention.

Of course, beating her was not enough for her father to know it had been done. So it wasn't to be that Pierre's thick hands would find themselves wrapped around AJs throat, or his knee forcing hers roughly apart as he degraded her, and oh she feared it, never quite trusting how any man, besides Punk and the absent Zack had looked at her. But no. He instead took a perverse pleasure in photographing every injury, glorifying every glistening drop of blood. AJ felt so criminalised, but said nothing, supposing that way, it would all be over quicker.

And so, she had come to lie in her bed for hours, cold and lonely. She just wanted Punk to come back. She knew she'd feel safer then. It didn't make her feel safe in any kind of way to consider where he was and what he had been doing since he'd had no choice but to surrender her to Pierre. She thought that maybe he was slumped somewhere, hating himself more and more. AJ hated that she doubted what she had done. But at least... he was still alive? Right?

* * *

It was a good few treacherous hours before she was aware either way. She was tired, but her body was too pained to allow her to sleep. So to see the door handle go down and not hear that foul rhythm of such heavy breathing was a welcome relief. Pierre was no longer outside. Because Punk, looking rather bleary eyed even in this darkness it was true, had slid determinedly into the room, the door clicking shut as he backed against it.

"Where is he?" AJ murmured thickly.

A smile flickered across Punks drawn face at the sound of her voice. "Gone." he assured her quietly. "My shift."

Warmth flooded through her as she realised they were alone. Smiling coyly against the duvet she was snuggled into, AJ wriggled to pull herself into a sitting position.

"Agh..." she winced.

"Don't get up." he advised her gently, rushing anxiously across the room. "You shouldn't."

"I'll heal."

"It's not the point." he replied, a little softer this time as the guilt crept into his voice. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore." she confessed truthfully. Punk looked away, biting into his lip, and she regretted it. "Hey..." she whispered, reaching to press her palm against his cheek, still chilled by the elements. "You know I'm alright."

But he shook his head gently, turning to kiss her fingertips as they rested against his cheek, not saying a word.

"Worried about you, though."

"You shouldn't bother."

AJ ignored those words. "Where have you been Phil?"

"I don't know. I just... walked. Thought I'd... have this straight in my head but I don't. Why'd you let this happen, April? Why?"

"I told you... I'm too scared to be alone right now."

Punk frowned. "What did Pierre do?"

"Nothing." she assured him instantly with a simple shake of the head. "Well he... uh... took photos actually. My dad used to tell me I could have been a model. Bet this wasn't the way he was imagining it."

"You'll be OK now. Your dad isn't going to stand for... he'll be round here like.. you'll be safe with him."

"Doesn't matter." AJ told him kindly. "I feel just as safe with you."

Punk smiled at her dismissively, giving her a look as if she had lost her mind. But she didn't care.

"I mean it. Today... you..."

"I know what I did." he said abruptly

"No, _listen_ to me..." she continued soothingly, caressing his face to hold his attention. "...you did something you hated, but I'm telling you, you did it for the best reasons. You didn't force me to leave. You listened to me. So I trust you... more than I trust my own damn father to care about me right now. And I think so much of you, because you had the courage to do something you didn't want to. Me... I've always run."

"You should have done April. You should have run when I give you the chance. It was meant to be me that put my hands on you. Not those bastards. It's all messed up. I'm worse than them April. It's my fault you are the way you are right now. _You should have run_".

"No." she murmured, her breath teasing his lips she was drawn so close. "Because where would you be now if I had? I want you here with me."

Her lips pressed hungrily to his before their next collective breath was born. But he had to be painstakingly careful even returning her kiss at the intensity he needed to, able to taste the remnants of blood on her swollen lips. She felt him try and pull back a little, apparently disgusted with himself. But AJ was fierce, breathing; "No..." before she kissed him again, soothed by his perfect taste.

But he pushed her back as forcefully as he could bear before really causing her pain.

"It can't be like this, April."

But she was unfazed, gasping a little in pain as she guided her knees to her chest. "You can't stop it, Phillip."

"What are you trying to achieve here, huh?" he demanded as he began to pace the length of the bed. "You reckon you can save me or something? From Jack?"

AJs eyes flared passionately. "If I thought I could, do you really think either of us would still be _here_? I'm terrified for you! So yeah... if taking this..." She gestured to her own battered form. "...means I'm trying to save you, then I am. What do you want me to say? Sorry?"

"You're gonna get yourself killed"

AJ shrugged her bruised shoulders. "Then I deserve this one night don't I?"

"Why?" Punk questioned, aghast. "Why is that what you want?"

"You're dead... I'm dead... it doesn't matter which. Right now, we deserve each other."

"No!" He shook his head fiercely. "No! They... I could have killed you today."

"No, you didn't, they didn't. It wasn't like that."

"But you don't know what it's like! I hate it so much. I hate that you've been made part of it! You don't belong here."

"Well, I can't exactly go anywhere right now."

Furious tears burnt in Punks eyes as he asserted; "You should have gone home."

She looked back at him defiantly, at last kicking the duvet back and forcing herself up onto her feet, idly twisting the sash of her dressing room. "I won't go anywhere until you do."

"Do you know where I'm going April? Do you? I mean, what the Hell do you _want _from me?"

"Your promise."

Punk flinched, jerkily shaking his head. "I didn't promise you anything."

"But you came." she replied faintly. "And for a while you were doing really well..."

His voice cracked desperately. "I can't _be _what you want. Not now."

"But you are. Don't you get that?"

"I get that you're scared. And you know what... I would be too if the only guy in my company had let that happen to me..."

"Then you _don't_ get it." AJ said sadly, dropping dejectedly back onto the bed as she watched him. "I'm not afraid of you. Terrified of everything that's _around _you, yeah. And I'll admit to a couple of moments. But the only thing that scares me right now is what's gonna happen to you. So don't use today as an excuse because it doesn't work. If you need to get out of here, Phil, then go."

His eyes filling, Punk nodded desperately as his gaze fell to the floor; only listed again as AJ climbed from the bed, wincing at the seers of pain as she came unsteadily towards him. It was his guilty instinct to reach out for her and she smiled weakly as he drew her into his arms and took her weight without complaint as he held her. She smiled weakly and straightened her bruised back with a grimace, nestling against Punks ear, kissing the chilled lobe fleetingly and whispering;

"But don't turn your back on me because you feel guilty, Phil. We did this together because we had to, it's not your fault. I will never blame you. Just please don't leave me on my own tonight."


	19. Chapter 19

**Ok this may seem a little repetitive. I'm not all that great with intimate scenes so I apologise now :)**

* * *

His eyes darkened as he walked towards the bed. When he reached it, he laid her down gently. AJ sprawled across the coverlet, following her down, his body like a bridge above hers. Breathless, her hands reached for him frantically but he grabbed both of hers in one, locking them above her head, pressed them lightly to the blanket.

His sudden role of being the aggressor flamed her own desire, making her gasp as his lips hovered over her own. He let his eyes slide down the length of her slowly before meeting hers again, his lids low and heavy. She rolled her hips in offering, desperate to feel the heat from his skin pressed intimately against her own.

Being with Punk was an experience she couldn't even begin to describe. It was as if a violent storm had knocked her power out, leaving her flailing in the dark. But along he'd come, flipping a switch within her, and once again, she felt herself flooded with light.

He moaned when she whispered his name, her breath against his cheek. He slid the palm of his free hand across her stomach, his tongue dragging across his lower lip as she tilted her hips towards him again, her breath coming in rapid little bursts. "Please," she begged.

"Please what?" he said softly, slipping his fingers under the waistband of her shorts.

"Kiss me!" she demanded. She tried desperately to lean up to him, to try to capture his mouth but he kept her firmly anchored to the bed, her wrists high above her head.

He studied her for one last moment before leaning down, dragging his tongue slowly across her lower lip. Moaning, she bucked her hips, straining to be closer to him, to share his heat. He kissed her slowly, languidly; as if he had the rest of his life to do so, finally slipping inside her warm mouth.

At the touch of her tongue to his he groaned suddenly, his arm against her midsection sliding around her waist until his palm slid into the concave of her lower back, lifting her hips against his. Instantly able to feel how much he wanted her, she felt a rush of heat throughout her body and thrust her tongue against his, her toes curling around his long legs. He deepened the kiss at her insistence, his lips moving across hers more desperately as she let out little gasps.

Ripping his mouth from hers, he pushed her tank up over her breasts, the fabric teasing her nipples as it slid over them. His tongue flickered in the hollow between her breasts before touching down and dragging along her skin towards her left nipple. Heat pooled between her legs and she moaned, arching her back until he finally took her nipple into his mouth, suckling.

"Punk!" she panted. "Oh, _god!_"

He moved to the other breast, her hands still locked above her and the longing she felt to feel his skin under her fingertips was beginning to rage inside of her. His mouth moved lower, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses against her belly until he reached her waist. Tugging her shorts over her hips with one hand, he shoved the scrap of lace between her legs to the side and dragged his tongue along her aching flesh.

He finally released her hands and they flew to his hair, her fingers winding in the dark locks. "Phil," she gasped. "You can't–'"

He lifted his head, meeting her eyes and moved slowly up her body until they were face to face. "April," he said softly, cupping her cheek, this thumb dragging across, "I won't hurt you. You should know that about me by now, I'd never hurt you." He gazed at her longingly. "I want to. Please."

She swallowed, feeling as if she would burst with her own longing. Seeing her nearly imperceptible nod, he smiled wickedly, sinking slowly back down between her legs and sweeping her thighs apart with his hands, his lips and tongue caressing her.

She nearly came off the bed, gasping. It had been such a long time since she'd allowed anyone to touch her like that and she was shocked at how quickly her climax began to build inside of her. She could hear soft, breathless noises filling the room and realized she was making them herself. Her limbs began to quiver, her throat stretching as she threw her head back, her hip bones curving into his hands.

"Phillip" she moaned, barely able to form a coherent sentence. "If you don't stop, I'm going to..."

"Fuck, yes," he told her. "I want to see you, April. Just let it happen." He returned his mouth to her skin and she knew she was lost, that she couldn't hold back much longer.

"Please," she moaned, tossing her head from side to side. "Please."

Her orgasm burst over her, her whole body singing as she fought to catch her breath. Gasping, she clung to his shoulders, trying to pull him up to her. As he allowed himself to be tugged into her arms she dropped her lips to the skin of his throat, thanking him with her frantic kisses as her hands slipped between his legs, wrapping around him.

Groaning, he dropped his head to her shoulder, his teeth nipping lightly at her skin as she ran the pad of her thumb over the tip of his erection. "God, April, don't stop," he gasped out.

She cupped his face in her hands, dragging his mouth to hers and plunging her tongue past his teeth. He reached for her breast again, his thumb flipping over the taut peak of her nipple and she sucked his tongue into her mouth, moaning against his lips.

She wanted him inside of her, desperately. Arching her back again and raising her hips towards his, she grabbed a fistful of his hair, pulling lightly. "I can't wait anymore," she pleaded. "_Please_."  
Guiding him between her legs, she pushed upwards but he pulled back slightly; then teased her flesh gently with the tip of his erection, dragging it against her.

Moaning, she caught her lower lip between her teeth, rolling her hips against him. "Punk," she said through clenched teeth. She tried to move against him again but he pulled back slightly, taking her wrists in his hands again to hold her gently against the mattress.

He leaned low, his face hovering over hers. "Tell me," he whispered hoarsely. "Tell me you won't want anyone like this, that no one else will make you feel the way I do."

She gasped as he dragged himself against her again. "Oh my god," she moaned.

"Tell me, April. Swear you won't let anyone touch you like this again." he growled, his eyes pleading with her for an answer.

She tossed her head, arching her back. "No," she whispered. "No, I couldn't."

Why?" he whispered, his eyes shimmering. "Why?"

"Because," she gasped, "I only want you!"

His eyes fluttered closed for only a moment, before blazing into hers. "I want you too, so much" he whispered, letting go of her hands and reaching out to run his finger along her cheek. He leaned down, his lips capturing hers in the sweetest kiss, his tongue rubbing softly against her own until tears were brimming at the corners of her eyes, her emotions running like crazy throughout her body.

She clutched his waist, dragging him to her and he finally thrust inside her, his arm coming up behind her back to cradle her against him. She locked her legs around his back and her arms around his neck, clinging to him as their hips rolled together again and again. Gasping his name against his mouth, she quickly felt the spiraling deep inside her body begin again. She ran one of her hands down the silky skin of his back until she reached his bottom, cupping it in her hand and pulling him even more forcibly against her.

"April!" he trembled, his tongue flickering in the hollow of her throat. "You feel so good, so so good!"

Suddenly rolling over onto his back, her took her with him, her legs straddling his hips as he thrust up into her slowly. She threw her head back, the ends of her hair teasing her lower back as her hips rose and fell with him, matching his rhythm.

"Phil!" she cried, her breath coming in quick bursts, " I'm so close!"

"Sweetheart, come for me, please!" he begged. "Let me feel you!"

Everything felt tight and hot and ready to explode. Crying out she stretched her body, feeling her orgasm wash over her from head to toe.

Before she'd had a chance to catch her breath he'd swept her beneath him again, picking up the pace. "Oh, my _god_," she moaned, her hair sticking to her damp face, her lower lip trembling. "Oh my god, Phil!"

She could see his arms trembling on either side of her as he neared his release. She clawed at his shoulders, her eyes widening as he thrust even harder into her, his eyes suddenly blazing into hers.

"Phil," she choked out, "I'm going to come again!"

"Come with me," he panted. "Come with me, April! God, I want to feel you."

His lips were suddenly on hers again, his tongue surging into her mouth, matching the thrust of his body. She clung to him, on the brink of tears because she was so close to another mind-blowing orgasm.

He finally pulled his mouth from hers, growling low in his throat. "_Please_," she wept. "Please, I can't take it anymore!"

She snapped her legs around his waist, battering herself against him and she could see his jaw clench in the final moments before he came. "April," he moaned. "_April_..."

"Fuck," he mumbled against her temple, his breath still heavy and his heart hammering inside his chest so frantically she could feel it matching her own.

Unable to process another thought or feeling, AJ simply curled against the warmth of his body and fell asleep amongst the tangle of the sheets.

* * *

She awoke sometime in the middle of the night to Punk nibbling on her ear, his tongue tracing the contours as his hand snaked around her waist and slid up to cup her breast.

Unsure, she could even move, she moaned softly. "Haven't you had enough?" she mumbled, her body drowsy with sleep.

"Of you? Never," he said softly against her neck. Letting his hand drift slowly down her body, he pressed a kiss to her back. "So you're saying you're **_too _**tired?" he asked under his breath.

"Mmmm," she moaned, pressing her face into the pillow. "Uh huh."

"Really?" he persisted, his fingers slipping between her legs. "You sure about that?"

The rumble started low in her throat as he slipped a finger inside of her. Moaning, she rolled over, her mouth seeking out his in earnest as he added another finger. Her fingers whispering over his nipples, she gasped as he tilted her hips up towards him, his thumb finding her clit.

No longer the least bit sleepy, she arched into his touch, her breath catching in her throat. Remembering all he'd given her earlier she wanted to return the favor, and so, gathering her strength, she grabbed him around the waist and flipped him over on his back. His eyes registered shock and then he met the challenging look in her eyes. Reaching for her again, she smiled, catching his hands in hers. "Uh-uh," she said teasingly, shaking her head.

Even though he could clearly overpower her, he allowed her to pin his hands above his head. "My turn."

* * *

Moonlight shone through the window of the hotel room, falling on their naked skin as AJ gasped, arching against Punk. His tongue sliding over her throat as she clung to him, their hips rolling in the same rhythm.

"April!" he said on a breath, his mouth nipping her skin and his hand tracing the line of her hip.

Opening her eyes as the heat swept through her body, she saw his face, illuminated by the light streaking in from the window and suddenly remembered her mother telling her that moths were drawn to flame because they mistook it for the moon. And she could see them in her mind; their white wings fluttering up into the night and realized that to her, Punk was the moon, something she wanted desperately to reach.

Suddenly overcome, she felt her eyes swimming with tears as she was suddenly hit with the fact that in her efforts to reach him, she might very well fly herself right into a flame.

She knew in that moment, without a doubt that she loved him. There was no room left to deny it, no corner of her heart to push him to – he inhabited every part of her. The realization hit her hard – the moment of Amazing Grace: I was blind and now I see, and she wept openly with what she had tried so desperately to deny.

She clenched her eyes shut, her head thrown back as he continued to move within her until his hand reached out to stroke her cheek and he felt the dampness there.

"April?" he whispered, his breath coming in short bursts. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Her eyes snapped open and met his, full of worry and concern blazed into hers. Tossing her head back and forth, she locked her legs around his hips, trying to force him back into a rhythm.

Unwilling to forget her tears, Punk cupped her cheek. "_April_. Talk to me, please. What's wrong?"

I love you, she chanted over and over in her head. I love you and I'm filled to the brim with it and I know you'll run as fast as you can in the other direction if you only knew!

He kissed the bridge of her nose, still trying to get her to speak. "April... please, tell me why you're crying."

"Don't stop," she pleaded, undulating her hips against his. "Please, don't stop!"

Moaning at her movement, he tucked his head down against her throat, thrusting again. "April..." he tried again. "Just tell me –"

She cut him off with a drugging kiss, her body following his like a loose shingle in the wind, rising and falling with each breath.

As Punk tried frantically to catch his breath when he'd rolled from her, April curled up with her back to him, desperately attempting to feign sleep. Her hair fell like a curtain across her face, hiding her tears as they slid down her cheeks. She'd done it, she'd fallen in love with him and now there was nothing left to do but let the other shoe drop – right on top of her heart.

"April," he whispered. She could feel him leaning over her, trying to see if she was awake. Trying to take slow, even breaths, she didn't respond, her eyes clenched tightly closed.

But he wouldn't let it be. Gripping her shoulder, he rolled her onto her back, hovering above her and brushing her hair off her face. " Please," he begged. "Tell me what's upsetting you. I don't understand...did I hurt you?"

Unable to hold it together a moment later, she broke into a sob, her chest heaving. Clutching her close to his bare chest, he stroked her back trying desperately to soothe her. "Baby, it's okay," he murmured. "Whatever it is, it's okay, I promise."

His words only made her weep harder as she realized how much she suddenly had to lose. It was becoming harder and harder to hide her love, harder and harder to pretend they were nothing more than two people from different worlds pushed together in such horrid circumstances, who had a strong sexual connection. Pressing her face to his warm skin, she felt her heart racketing against her chest life a fist upon a door as she tried to catch her breath.

How on earth was she going to explain this kind of reaction to him? What excuse could she possibly give?

"April, please," he tried again. "Please tell me what's wrong. I can't stand to see you crying like this."

She pulled away, wiping the tears from her face with her palm, her hair clinging to her damp cheeks and he cupped her chin, forcing her eyes to her. "Tell me," he said softly. "Whatever it is."

Her eyes welled up again at his words and she shook her head. "I'm scared," she whispered finally. "I'm sorry."

"Scared?" he asked gently, his fingers pulling the strands of hair out of her eyes. "I'm right here."

She closed her eyes again, desperately trying to will away her tears.

"April. What are you afraid of?"

Her eyes remained closed unable to look at him. "**You**," she whispered, her heart clenching tightly inside her.

She could feel him tense at her words, tightening his arm around her waist. "Me? You're afraid of me? But earlier you said..."

She moaned, tucking her face into his body in an attempt to hide. "No, you don't understand."

He wouldn't let her run away, gently unfolding their bodies until she had nowhere else to hide. "No, I don't," he said honestly. "Explain it to me," he urged gently.

She sat up, the sheet falling around her waist and her hair hanging down her back, the ends teasing her skin. "I can't," she said, her voice low. "I _can't_."

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, dropping his head into his hands and rubbing his eyes. "I don't believe that, April. And I wish you'd tell me." Standing up in all his naked glory, he walked to the window, staring down at the grounds.

Biting her lip, her fingers winding into the sheets she took a deep, heaving breath. "This week, this city, this room..." she started, and he turned to face her, his eyes full of worry.

"It's been hell," she breathed. "But spending this time with you has been..something else"

He dragged his hand through his hair, stepping closer. "And?"

She looked at him helplessly, feeling more naked and vulnerable than she had in her entire life and she clutched the sheet to her chest, trying to feel safe. "But," she said her lower lip trembling. "What happens when all this is over Phil? If I get out of here? Will I see you again? Or is this it. A one time deal?"  
She took in a shuddering breath, wanting to crawl under the covers and never come out.

He stood there for a moment, not speaking and she felt another tear roll down her cheek and she dropped her head, her eyes on her lap.

She looked up when she felt the bed shiver with his weight and found him kneeling in front of her, his fingers pulling on the hair that lay against her jaw. "April," he said softly. "What do you want to me to tell you? Do you think I'm not confused? Do you think I know what to do sometimes, that I don't lie awake at night and wonder what I'm going to do about you?"

His tongue slipped out to moisten his lip and his hand drifted up to cover his mouth, his fingers tracing his lips. She wiped at her eyes, thinking that she'd seen him do that when he was nervous, when he was unsure of himself and at least found some comfort in the fact that he was struggling as well, whether it was with love or not.

"I don't know," he finally said. "I can tell you that you're the first woman who's mattered to me since my mother. You're the first woman I think about when you're not in front of me, the only woman who's **really **mattered to me. And I haven't felt that way before, and you're going to have to give me time..to think about our situation..." He choked on his words, looking away from her for a moment. "You're going to have to be patient with me," he whispered. "Because right now I'm in a place I've never been, and I'm drowning a little, April."

He turned back in her direction and their eyes met and she took in a hitching breath, her hand reaching out to stroke his jaw. "_Okay_," she whispered.

"Okay," he repeated, leaning into her touch. Reaching out for her, the cradled her against him as he brought her down to the mattress with him.


	20. Chapter 20

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. It really means alot. This chapter isn't as lengthy as the rest but important for what follows on :)**

* * *

Nothing had touched Punk all day. He even managed to ward off the guilt as he looked at AJ today, comforted beyond all belief at the realisation he'd woken up to her still laying in his arms, sleeping like a fallen angel. She'd looked so beautiful, so completely out of pain. And even for the injuries to mark her, Punk felt something for the very first time in his life. Lucky. Not just to be alive like the usual, to have escaped from a blow-up with all four limbs in working order - all working order meant he was being ready to go out and bust yet more kneecaps, destroy more innocent lives with every reckless consequence; he felt lucky...not to be alone.

He'd never felt a regard for any woman he had ever known. Always taking what he wanted and heading off to live through the next day of his mindless existence. He'd honestly thought they were there to be used, to gratify him when they were needed. He'd never considered anyone halfway to human. And now there was AJ and she was so different. She'd made him so different. It scared him because she'd created something in him he didn't understand. But what he knew didn't make him feel any better, so... why not take this risk? One of them would be gone soon enough anyway. AJ, back to the safety of a family that he knew she couldn't help but love, whatever doubts she'd been having. Or him, in a way he didn't dare to imagine.

AJ didn't need to feel anything for him in all this time. She'd go back to her life and she'd forget him. The fact that he knew he was feeling something after so many cold years meant more to Punk than he'd dare contemplate. Terrified him, yes, but why shouldn't his heart pound a little quicker? There was no point in taking his time anymore, not even with such simple things as breathing.

In fact, the only thing he chose to do at his leisure, was watch her. She was sleeping, she was inanimate apart from the mechanics of her sleeping body, warm against his, but still, she was mesmerising. Because somehow, this wasn't like any other time he had known. He didn't want to jump up and bolt from her bed because he had an all-consuming existence to return to it. He didn't feel nothing. He wanted to stay... he wanted to stay with her. In this warm and blissful haven, where they seemed to fit so well, where only the two of them would fit. She made him believe, even if it was only for a moment, that he had a place. He'd never have thought it before. But lying beside her was the kindest place he had ever found himself. He loathed himself for having to leave her side.

Punk had forced himself to leave before she had stirred, although she had whimpered in her sleep as he had taken his arms from around her. He believed they ached in protest, not because of the body that had lain against them, but because it no longer did that so contently. But still, although he did not let it show, there was a smile on his face. It felt so strange but all at once it felt so... right. Not much ever had before.

* * *

"Word."

Punks eyes instinctively narrowed in contempt as he took in Pierre striding towards him, shoving roughly against his shoulder as they collided. Punk held himself straight and, clearing his throat, turned on his heel to follow him. Scumbag. Really was a jumped up little shit. Punk supposed he despised him so much because Pierre reminded him so bloody much of his bastard self ten or so years ago. So full of it, still thinking there was something to come out of living your life like this everyday. Something good... not just Jack killing you off because he was getting bored. Punk wanted to at least give Jack a reason to kill him if it was coming anyway. As long as this irritating little bastard wasn't the one to do it of course, because oh no, he was not going be able to take that kind of demise lying down, tied up, whatever. There'd end up being a very different name on the coroner's report.

"What?" Punk demanded sharply.

Pierre settled back, smirking as he folded his arms smugly across his chest, cold eyes studying his form.

"Look at you... really think you've got him fooled, don't you?" Punk simply blinked. "Jack."

"Oh, I gave that up years ago."

Unimpressed by the sarcasm and obvious disconcern, Pierre's eyes glittered coldly. "Liar."

Punk smirked and answered confidently; "I don't think I like your tone."

But Pierre was unmoved. "And I don't think the boss would like it if he'd seen what I saw last night."

"Been staring at your reflection again?"

He smiled tightly and spat; "You, spooned up to _her_. Are you a cuddler Phillip?"

Punk stumbled. "You what?"

"I thought you were a "love 'em and leave 'em" type of guy, Phillip? Easier that way isn't it? Stay longer than it takes you to do your fuckin' fly up and you're committed. What's it about her eh? What does she do for you?"

Punks mouth was dry. "How do you... how did you...?"

Pierre smirked, much like a cat that got the cream. "Wow. Not even gonna humour me and deny it? I went to check on her last night... this morning, about three? And there you were. Something's wrong with you Punk. Or at least it will be by the time Jack hears from me."

"You'd love to think you're scaring me right now, wouldn't you?"

"Wouldn't dream of it. The girl though? Oh, it's amazing what women will do when they're running scared. Of course... you already know that. Because it's you she's _doing_!"


	21. Chapter 21

**50 reviews! Thank you so much everyone that has left reviews, favourited and followed this story so far. And to those just reading, thank you for taking the time to do so :)**

* * *

Punk, unmoved, kept his head level, barely blinking as he took half a step forward, his lips set straight as he snarled; "You wouldn't dare touch her."

Pierre however, was still amused, his smirk very much in place as he returned, "Oh, but I'd love to. Obviously she's worth it right?"

His neck jerked stiffly as he shook his head. "Of course she isn't. We both know what's gonna happen now, don't we?"

"Been nice knowing you, Punk."

"Oh shut up for fuck's sake, you're not impressing anybody. He'll kill me and we both know that."

Pierre nodded sombrely. "Didn't stop you though did it?"

Punk shrugged. "Why should it? Might as well die for a reason, hadn't I? But April? No. Because if you... if _anyone _touches her, then you're coming the same way and you have got some much to learn."

"You flatter me." he answered dangerously.

"Don't know why, because I'm not trying to. This is nothing, you know that? Living like this, it's nothing. You would have been better than this once."

"What, like you?"

Punk laughed gently at the sneer against Pierre's smooth lips. "Oh, I was never better. Always known I'd only be leaving one way."

"It's no more than you deserve."

"But you're still talking me. And I couldn't give a fuck."

"Your whore know that?"

Punk flinched angrily, fists clenching, sharpening a breath that was soft as he drew it in warningly. "You want to be careful, Pierre, you know that? Jack's never appreciated name-calling. We're not operating a playground."

But Pierre remained rigid apart from the defiant tilt of his chin, glaring over at Punk through narrowed, venomous eyes. "He's not going to appreciate you knocking off the victim either is he?"

"She isn't a victim." Punk snapped angrily.

Pierre's cold eyes flared with interest. "Oh no? Then you tell me, got to get the details right, havn't I?"

Punk scoffed. "Like the bruises you mean? Because she took every single one and she's wearing them damn well."

"Does it do something for you, the battered wife look?"

"She wouldn't let me **take her home**!" Punk yelled, finding that his hand was caught fast around Pierre's throat before he was even aware of animation in his own body. "I didn't wanna touch her!"

He was only satisfied by the ugly sounding crunch Pierre's spine made when it came to very forcible contact with the wall. His composure was gone, having cried out in agony before he remembered he was supposed to keep all displays of weakness down.

"Still couldn't keep your hands off her though could you?"

Pierre regretted uttering such a rise as Punk rammed him hard against the wall, causing his neck to jerk agonisingly as his head jerked back and thudded against the wall, a blinding pain ensuing.

"I'm not expecting this to mean anything to scum like you-" Punk hissed dangerously. "-because in the end you're not gonna mean a damn thing to anyone. But she's someone. She's someone's daughter, she's got a brother, people who would have nothing without her - and Jack just sits back and tells me to destroy her? What fuckin' right have I- has _Jack_ got? She has no part in this feud and Jack's still using her! And what for?"

"Same as you..."

"Shut **up!**" Punk seethed, his fist slamming hard into Pierre's stomach, sending him reeling in agony. He let him fall heavily to the floor, kicking him savagely before he even heard the thud. "Who do know? Who'd _care_ if I kept going, Pierre? Left you here... for dead. You don't deserve any more than that. And I'm gonna get such a... _kick _out of it. Because April is better than any of you lot could ever hope for... and she isn't staying here to be mauled and wrecked by fuckers like you. Make sure you tell Jack that. Because if it's gonna be over my dead body that she gets out of here, then I'd like to leave... a trail. Starting with the every bone in your body!"

Roughly forcing the crumpled Pierre to roll over onto his back with a sharp kick, Punk promptly forced his weight down through his raised foot - settled squarely on Pierre's nose. He released a despairing breath as the hot jets of blood gushed out, threatening to stain his shoes.

"You ever broken a rib? A limb? You ever laid in a ditch for three days in your own blood wondering if it'll ever stop hurting? Have you?"

Reeling as Punk kicked him hard in the chest, regardless of how Pierre had instinctively curled up fetally to protect himself, he was left to splutter desperately for breath as he shook his head. Punk tilted his head, false sympathy sweeping across his face.

"Oh... you need to try it, man, really. You havn't lived until that second you _know _you're gonna die... and believe me, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy."

Pierre was almost weeping as Punk continued relentlessly in his assualt, such hatred and disgust raging inside him for this one man and everything beyond him, everything he was part of and couldn't possibly understand. He just wanted to hurt him. So much, just for threatening the one hopeful thing left in what Punk thought was going to be his last few days of one miserable and sickeningly memorable existence.

And even as this anger burnt, everything in his mind was clear. He wanted Pierre found, broken, half drowning in his own blood, whatever, just as long as it wasn't going to be forgotten. April... she'd be gone... back to her brother, her dad... and Punk... he'd find something worth remembering in his own destruction. He wouldn't feel the pain. Because he'd have done that one honorable thing, just to prove how much he wanted to cancel out some of this repulsive things he had done surrounded by so many without consciences.

Trying to soothe the seering agony in his stomach and ribs simultaneously with crushed hands, Pierre lolled desperately over onto his side, tears built in his eyes as he tried to plead with him, who stood above him as cold and unfeeling as Jack had always wished him to be.

"Punk... please..."

Calmly, his breathing strangely in sync even with such violent exertion, he shook his head and answered; "Fuck you. You've gone too far. Too fuckin' **far**."

Ready to turn from the room, with just another sharp kick reserved for Pierre simply for Punks own satisfaction, he was more irritated than anything to hear him yell out; "No! Don't you want to know what-"

"I'm not interested in anything you've got to say."

But Pierre was not deterred by this dismissal, more by the way he seemed to be choking on mouthfuls of his own blood.

"He wants her." he spluttered.

Punk span round, his attention definitely refocussed. He narrowed his eyes venomously. "What do you mean "he wants her"?"

But Pierre was left to groan and cry at the pain of his injuries which enraged Punk, causing him to swoop down and wrench him carelessly up by the collar, shaking him furiously with no thought to his obvious agony. "**What **do you mean?"

"You **know** what I mean." he cried out. "You know _why _he'd kill you. You've taken what the Boss wants, Punk."

"No. No... he just... wants to get her old man close. He wants to hurt him, he doesn't really want- no! You're lying!"

"Am I? So why do **you **want her?"

"Shut up." Punk warned, feeling the coil in his chest tighten dangerously. "Shut **up**."

And to ensure it, Punk made sure he kicked him savagely on his way past, so blinded by the gut wrenching fear, the repulsion that he barely knew where he had struck him so viciously until he realised that blood was pouring from Pierre's mouth and soaking the carpet as he tried to stop his loosened teeth choking him.

But Punk didn't care. There was nothing, no-one to care about anymore. He didn't care if Pierre never got up from that spot, whether he was found dead or alive.

There was only April.

* * *

AJ had been sat rigidly on the bed, her knees bent up sadly to her chest from the moment she had realised that the warmth she and Punk had created together upon it had died away. It was then she was left to think about the life she had been removed from. How was her dad? Why had she been left without a word? Had he not... contacted Jack in any way? Didn't he care... was he hurt? Was her brother alright? Oh God, to even imagine him over these last few days shattered AJs heart. It wasn't his correspondance anyone was counting on. He would have just been left to fret and worry until he was sick. He had been the one there to see it happen all the other times in his life. AJ felt so lonely here, her arms ached to hold her brother, to swear it was all gonna be alright. But the truth was, she was here, shaking with an unknown fear. Because she knew nothing herself.

She considered that Punk was the only one likely to know. But he wasn't about to tell her. She just... knew it. And that scared her even more. Especially seeing as Jack himself had made her very aware that she stood to lose Punk just as she had seemed to lose everyone in her life.

_Soon._

So there she sat, staring at the chipped polish on her finger nails as she tried to ignore the tears in her eyes. She barely heard the door creak, but catching sight of Punk out the corner of her eye, she had to look again. She hadn't been wrong. Relief flooded through her and she clambered off the bed, throwing her arms round him, just... needing to be held before she was all out of everything. She just needed to feel the warmth of a willing body against hers... a heartbeat, anything...

But his arms were rigid around her and did not dispel her tears. It made her cold with a new extra anxious fear.

"Phil?" she whispered fearfully as she drew back, shivering.

But he bit hard into his lip, his glimmering eyes somehow glazed as he looked back at her, making her stomach churn.

"Wh-What's wrong?"

Punk looked down slowly. April didn't let her own gaze follow, instead watching a miserable pulse in his throat.

But when she did look down, she recoiled in horror at the streaks of blood that stained his violently shaking hands.

"What have you done? Wh-Why did you- **Phillip**!"

He didn't say in a word in reply. In fact, he couldn't even meet her eye. He pushed past her and rushed into the bathroom. She stood rigidly on the spot and listened to the thundering of the taps. Then she steeled herself to turn on her heel and follow him. She leant heavily against the doorframe and watched him at the sink, billows of steam rising from the basin. He winced as he lowered his stained hands into the scalding water, tinging it immediately.

"Please..." she pleaded in a steady whisper. "...tell me what's going on."

"I think I killed him."

AJs breathing quickened dangerously and she saw Punk flinch in accusation as he scoured madly at his hands. She fought to control herself, questioning shakily; "Who?" Silence, all apart from her erratic heartbeat. "Phil, you're scaring me!"

And his lip trembled and as he lifted his gaze to level with AJs frightened own. "Did you mean it?"

"What? What am I supposed to have-"

"Last night... you said you trusted me. Did you mean that?"

AJ sensed the urgency in the question and it made her even more nervous. And so did the fact that blood that was evidently not his was streaking the water.

"Y-Yeah." she replied shakily.

Don't lie to me, April, Ok? I can't stand liars... ahh!"

She rushed forward to wrench his abused hands from the water before they blistered as was the scalding heat of the water. She clasped his soaked hands, shaking desperately. "I'm not lying... I'm scared. That's different. I trust you. I do."

He scoffed bitterly, pulling his hands back and drying them roughly on the huge towel folded on the radiator before he stormed back into the bedroom, pacing like a caged animal.

"Well, you shouldn't! You know that? Because _this_ is what comes of trying, this is what comes of making **promises**!"

"What? What comes?" AJ questioned feverishly, scanning his face with darting eyes. "Phil, _please_! Just tell me... who did you-"

"Pierre."

AJ frowned in confusion.

"You know, jumped up little bastard living in Jack's shadow?" He laughed bitterly. "That was me, fifteen years ago. Never thought I could make myself sick. But that's what he is. He's me. And he's the one that's coming for me... for us."

"Us? I don't-"

Punk tilted his head up, speaking steadily when all he wanted to do was pummel his fist into the wall with frustration. "He knows April."

Staggered, she fell back a step, mind reeling. "How can he... did you...?"

"Do I look that stupid?" he scowled, softening only as AJ shrank further away in regret, childishly shaking her head and causing wisps of her hair to whip her across the face. "He... uh... saw me here last night. I told you I should have gone..."

AJ pressed her shaking hands over her mouth. "But I just... I just wanted... oh God, **no! **What are you... going to do?"

He shrugged. "I told you... I've always known it's coming."

"No!" AJ insisted tearfully. "No! You're **not **just going to wait for this!"

"No." he assured her simply, shaking his head. "Because I need you to trust me to get you out of here first. And I will do that, April, OK, I will. Somehow. Just..."

Sighing gently, he stopped pacing and looked at her. She didn't seem so strong anymore; frightened and regretful tears burning in her big, sparkling eyes. Punk hated what he was reducing this one woman to. But at least he knew his last promise would stand, even if... even if it would feel as though he'd been ripped in half. But nothing was going to be about him for all that much longer. He barely mattered. He never had.

But she did. People were out there going frantic for her, just wanting her to be safe and to love as they had done their whole lives. Time for the Princess to go back to the safety of her castle.

Punk wrapped his arms tight around her, feeling her body tremor against his as she snuggled down against him. They held each other as if they were never going to let go, their two bodies creating a safe cocoon in this miserable panic. It was going to smother them, wrench them apart.

_Soon._

"...just trust me for a few more hours yeah? You'll be alright... I promise."


	22. Chapter 22

**Just a quick update, I have all weekend free so hopefully I'll have a few more for you awesome readers. Thanks :)**

* * *

AJ, trembling still, tilted her head against Punks chest, almost relieved to feel the erratic pounding of his heartbeat. And yet at the same time, it unsettled her desperately. For how much longer could she hear it? For how much longer was he out of harm's way?

Punk didn't bother to think such thoughts. He concentrated on the strength with which he held her, loathed to ever let her go. But he had to, and perilously soon or... or...

"What's going to happen, Phil?" she whispered tearfully.

Biting hard into his lip, refusing to accept that hot tears were pricking in his eyes, Punk bowed his head, burying his face in her sweet smelling hair and mumbling awkwardly; "Even if I knew, I wouldn't tell you."

"Then you're scared too." she surmised sadly.

Punks mouth was dry as he tried to reply. "I'm not going to lie, sweetheart, alright? I am scared... scared there isn't enough time."

Stop it!" AJ pleaded, pushing back from him and covering her miserable mouth with her hand to smother the sound of the sob that threatened to choke her. "Why can't you just think about **you**? You can't stay here... you _can't_!"

"And neither can you." he argued stubbornly. "Jeez April, if you knew -"

"But I don't!" she shrieked angrily. "I don't because _you _won't tell me!"

She couldn't fight the urge to strike him, her frustrations all crucifying her slowly on the inside. Punk allowed her to catch him a few times, willing to feel even just a fraction of her pain. He'd carry it all for her now if he could, there wasn't long before he would be free too. But as he saw how much of a dangerous frenzy she was working herself up to, he caught her wrists and restrained her flailing arms. She writhed desperately, definitely not done in her attack just yet.

"What is it Phil huh? You liking putting the fear of God into me? That doing it for you as much as everything else?"

"You don't know what you're talking about." he hissed in reply as he released her.

"No! I don't! And the rate we're going, I never will! What the Hell are you playing at?"

"I'm trying to get you out of here with a pulse if you can imagine that!"

AJ steeled herself to keep looking at him, tilting her head defiantly up. "At what cost, Phil... c'mon."

But he shook his head dismissively as she glared demanding at him. "What do you want me to say, April? Game's up, that's it."

"So you're just going to let them kill you? What for, what are you even supposed to have _done_?"

Punk managed to smirk as he inclined his head, gesturing towards AJ herself. "You."

She shuddered in repulsion at the way he had chosen to put it, but tried to force the disgust away and keep her voice level. "Well... so what? I'd have thought anyone with a pulse was fair game around here."

"Ah, but that's it, isn't it? You aren't just anyone, April. You're what Jack wants. He did warn me... but I guess there's just something about you."

AJ frowned in confusion. "What do you mean... what Jack wants?"

He nibbled guiltily at his lip, sighing as he realised he had no way to get out of delivering an answer. "I wish I knew how to wrap this up prettier..."

"No." she said bluntly, shaking her. "Just tell me what you mean."

"He could have you killed, I don't know. I haven't heard anything about your dad or... but I do know..." He blew out a shallow breath, not sure whether he had the nerve to complete this one sickening sentence, even as it sat in his mouth. "Look, Jack laid down the rules as soon as you turned up alright? I was supposed to watch, nothing else."

AJ scowled as realisation hit. "You mean we weren't supposed to end up at it?"

"Don't start on me April. You're not proud of yourself either. I know what you want to think alright, but it's not true. I'm no different to anyone here. And if Jack wants rid of me, it's only because I've done enough to deserve it. I mean, look at you for God's sake!"

"No!" she snapped hotly. "Don't! Just **tell **me what you mean!"

"Oh you _know_ what I mean, you just don't want to admit it. The way he looks at you, touches you... he's all over you. You've got to be the only woman of the last five or so years that can really make Jack tick and that isn't pretty. Whether or not he decides to kill you is going to be an afterthought, you get where I'm going with this? He knows what he wants from you and if you don't give it to him, he'll take it anyway."

AJ reeled back, bile rising in her stomach as she shook, nauseated. "He wants to _rape _me?"

"Nah. He'd much rather you were willing..."

"Well, I'm **not! **Just the thought of... I feel sick. I wouldn't do that to myself... to you!"

Punk flinched. "I don't matter. It it's not about me."

"No?" she questioned fiercely. "So what are these last few days, Phil, hmmm? Because unless you can stand there and convince me you were using me like everyone else you've ever known then I... **why **are you trying to protect me?"

His soulful eyes locked on hers as he mumbled; "Because this... it's my last chance to do something right. And you don't have to believe it April, but I care what happens to you."

She nodded painfully, another sob swelling in her throat as she demanded childishly; "So why won't you let me care too?"

Lazily, Punk hunched his shoulders. "Lost cause. I know what's coming to me and I accept it. But if he thinks he's going to touch you, then bloody hell, he _will_ be doing it over my dead body."

"**Don't!**"

And as she began to cry helplessly, Punk stepped up and wrapped his arms around her shuddering body, soothing her quietly as he murmured in her hair; "I'm sorry... shhh... you're gonna be alright... shhh..."

"Come too." she whimpered. "Please... come with me."

Punk shook his head stiffly. "Not an option."

"Yes it is!" she insisted desperately. "If you can get me out of here then... then you're out of here too. You just... you don't turn back - you come with me!"

He swallowed down a painful lump in his throat and bowed his head, able to feel her own pulsing agony as he tilted up her chin, casing her face with slippery palms. "I would never survive outside these walls. Never. They'd hunt me down April and if they found you too... why can't you understand... there is nothing out there for me. I can't stop this..."

AJ fought to control the pattern of her breathing, her vision misty by threatening tears as she looked back at him. "And I can't leave you here..."

"Yes you can." he whispered tenderly as he stroked the fat tears away. "I'm not leaving you a choice."

"Please..."

"No. You have to stop this; I can't be what you want, and I will **never** be what you need, alright? I'm just me and believe me sweetheart, you haven't even scratched the surface. If you had, you'd already be a hundred miles in the other direction. That's where you need to be, you understand? Because your dad's waiting April... and your brother's waiting. **I** don't matter."


	23. Chapter 23

**Thanks for the reviews. Just a note to say the next lot of chapters have a lot of angst. Bear with me please. Like they say things have to get worse to get better :)**

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_Was an hour enough time_?

Jack smiled to himself as he stormed up on to the landing, his lumbered walk more a self-assured strut. He was feeling very confident tonight. But then of course, he paid his workforce to make him feel nothing besides. They were the little people, he was the one with the power and he wasn't about to let anybody forget it. That was precisely why he thought nothing of strolling into AJs room without pausing to knock. Why should he? He was the host, and she should have been grateful he was keeping her in such a hospitable manner. So many had truly suffered. But April, even with the bruises discolouring so readily across her body, from her face to her ankles, she was still a very attractive woman and Jack knew many would agree. He wasn't about to leave her a choice in this. While she was here, she was his. Nobody was going to say otherwise.

Jack smiled privately to himself as he took in the way Punk leapt away from his charge, like their proximity burned him. Oh, Jack was willing to bet on that, but that certainly wasn't for tonight. Oh no, Jack had plans for tonight, very personal plans. For one night only, Punk was free to please himself_._

"April..." Jack began steadily, puffing out his chest.

Punk smiled uneasily as he caught his boss' eye and backed off into the shadows, leaving AJ to stare awkwardly at the floor, preferring anything to looking at the vast, vile man stood in front of her, demanding from her in just his tone.

"Jack."

"Looking brighter today."

She wanted to recoil she was so damn repulsed, but found all she could do was glare venomously at him. "I don't feel it."

"No, of course you don't." he answered with a false sympathy that made her want to wretch. "That's because you need a good, stiff drink inside you. And that's fortunate, I'm having a little get-together this evening see, close contacts, associates..."

"Henchmen... enforcers... killers?"

Jack smirked. "Such a suspicious nature..."

"Fourteen years without your dad does that to you, Jack."

"So..." he mused thoughtfully, smacking his lips together. "I'm guessing that these few extra days aren't changing much then? I must say April, I really wasn't expecting your old dad to be so... quiet. It's almost as if he's... _dead _or something!"

And that intense volume of hatred subsequently exploded out of the emotionally woman and she threw herself furiously forward, blinding striking Jack wherever he could be caught.

"You **evil**... you _lying_- how **dare** you! If he's - I **hate** you... you're -"

"Phillip!" he barked desperately as he tried to fend her off.

Punk had been watching, somehow mesmerised. He knew how wrong it was to allow AJ, such a precarious physical state as she was already in, to enter into such a grave situation and yet it was as if the intensity of her hatred, her despair made her ten times stronger in the face of everything that threatened. And even as tears poured from her watery eyes as if they would never stop, she was still stronger than any woman he had ever known. They had all been weak and... easy. And even her presence right now was a threat and somehow all he wanted was to protect her. He let his arms surround her, pulling her forcefully back, even as she struggled.

"April, for God's **sake!** What are you _doing_?"

"Get **off **me!" she yelled angrily, unable to keep her glaring eyes from Jack, who stood there looking thunderous.

"No, look, just -"

"I _said_, get **off **me!" In a desperate bid to free herself, without thought, AJ thrust her elbow sharply back into Punks stomach. With a pained yell, he staggered back. AJ whirled round, gasping in horror. Her apology was ready on her lips, but she bit hastily into it to stop herself.

"Fuck..." Punk muttered, forcing himself not to wince as he straightened up. "...anyone would think you were trying to make it hurt."

AJ blanched at her lip, realising with a shiver that she had no choice but to talk back just as coldly. "Sorry." she answered bluntly. "Shall we go again?"

Jack, thankfully, was completely taken in by the stormy looks that passed between the two of them and chuckled, humoured.

Unable to stand the sound, she whirled round and demanded viciously; "What the Hell do you want Jack?"

"Ooooh." he winced. "We're gonna have to work on your manners a little aren't we April? Like I say... we should start with that drink."

"Or what?"

"Or... you're going to make me very upset."

Stood rigid behind her, Punk carefully nudged her in the back, out of Jack's view as he added firmly; "You don't want that."

"I never wanted any of this." she snapped back before she could stop herself. But she straightened up defiantly, flicking her hair from her eyes and looking coldly into Jack's small eyes. "What's in this drink then Jack, what's the kick?"

"I'm not sure I like what you're suggesting."

"Oooh, well look at that - me either!"

"I want you downstairs by half six, you understand?" Jack told her warningly. AJ tried not to shake as his eyes flashed dangerously. "Doll yourself up... never know, you might enjoy yourself. Make sure she makes it down Phillip, alright?"

Punk inclined his head sombrely. "Yes boss."

Fear suddenly struck AJ square in the chest. "Where's he going?" she demanded, glancing in panic at Punk.

Jack slowed up and turned around, heaving his vast shoulders. "Anywhere he wants. Likes a bit of socialising, don't you boy?"

AJ laughed bitterly, totally unable to bring her eyes from the carpet. "Just not as much as he likes the _rest _of it, right Jack?"

He gave her an ugly, toothy grin by way of reply and backed out of the room. She barely allowed herself to breathe as the door clicked shut. Punks hands reassuringly squeezed her shoulders and he nestled against her, murmuring; "You'll be OK..."

"Will I?" she retorted doubtfully.

"I'm gonna be right there, alright?"

AJ sighed and pushed him off. "No you won't. It's too dangerous."

"Yeah... of course. And being left on your own with Jack isn't?"

"Have to take my chances won't I?"

"April..."

"Shut up, Phil." she answered shortly, turning away from him.

He was affronted, and bristled as a scowl slanted his lips. "Fine. Whatever. Just... when he's all over you, groping you in a room full of people, don't say I didn't warn you. Enjoy it if you can."

* * *

AJ had never experienced anything less enjoyable in her life. Jack had stressed half six, but she had tried so desperately hard to stay away. There were only so many calls of nature AJ could hasten to answer before Jack was bored. It was barely quarter past seven before he'd demanded in that dangerously soft tone that she stay by his side all night. "Stay" made it sound like it was voluntary. Perhaps clamped would have been a better word, because the hand AJ had been forced to weave into the crook of Jack's thick arm was almost crushed he held it in place so fiercely. Her every forced smile was more a grimace as she had been steered round, as if on auto-pilot, to meet dangerous men and shallow women with sour faces that said they didn't much care where the money came from as long as they were kept accustomed, probable stolen diamonds dripping from them.

She felt so much like she was being showcased, like some trophy. Her gut was knotted and she definitely sensed she was in some kind of danger she wasn't likely to escape. Jack introduced her smugly as an acquaintance. She wondered continuously what that masqueraded, because every man looked at her with that same knowing glint in their cold eyes that unsettled her beyond any understandable fear.

_Victim? Prize? Bait? Whore?_

She felt dizzy and sickened without touching a drop of the champagne that was continually forced into her unwilling, often trembling hands. She didn't trust that it wasn't laced with something to make her weaker and she was more aware than ever that her own already waning strength was all she had left. The contents of her every glass had been abandoned or poured over one of the plants when, just for once, no-one's eyes seemed to be upon her.

Well, bar one. See, Punks eyes never left her. He stood round, keeping his distance and chatting idly to anyone and everyone that demanded his attention. And the women that stood smugly beside each and every man seemed to have no problem on launching a flirtatious attack on him, even as their meal tickets listened in. Where he didn't think it would cost him the sensation in both legs, he flirted almost instinctively back, realising, his eyes forever searching out April, how damn empty and pathetic every word sounded.

He was perhaps the only one that did not miss how frustrated, frightened tears built in her eyes, perhaps the only one around willing to realise it in such dim, suffocating lights. He wanted so much to go over, to have an excuse to draw her away from everyone she was being paraded in front of. It made him sick to think that Jack was duping all these people that respected him out of nothing but fear into believing that April was his.

No-one seemed to see through the inch thick layer of make-up that was concealing the every injury those creeps so brutally, bestowed upon her. No-one chose to notice the way she shook, or how her chest was pumping so rapidly up and down as she fought to retain her unease, her fear. He saw it all, and, he wanted to save her. But he didn't know how, so was reduced to looking away every time she desperately caught his eye - making like he didn't care and that maybe the latest pretty blonde in front of him was all that mattered now.

Punk hated himself more intensely than he ever had before - but from the distance of their places in the room, how was she to know that? She didn't believe he had forgotten all that he had promised her and she knew for certain that he was keeping up an act for Jack's sake, perhaps it had always been that way for him. But she knew too that he was upset with her and that made her more anxious than she could bear; in this room full of unsettling strangers, she was stifled. She couldn't breathe. Punk was all she knew, all she trusted and right now, he was too damn far away. And with every man that leered at her, she sought out her lover, wordlessly pleading with him to make her feel less vulnerable. But he would not catch her eye and AJ, she was lonelier than ever.

No word from the father that loved her. No help from the lover that used her.

Nothing.

And yet they were all she had.

She was so frightened. So suffocated. It was like the walls leapt in and.. she needed to be free.

Jack seemed to have tired of her too and dismissed her without a care as she complained vaguely of fatigue.

"Need to keep that one in good shape, Jack!" his latest companion leered, his dirty gaze following AJ as she leapt away, needing to be gone before he could change his mind. But with a huge, smoking cigar protruding out the side of his mouth, Jack and his captive audience were otherwise occupied, with "business" to discuss that she realised was not for her to hear.

She raced from the room, her sides feeling incredibly tender, her feet sore from the agony of standing tall in heels and it was like time itself exploded. From the moment she had walked into the disgustingly smoky room, it was like the world stopped and time dragged by to torture her, to suggest that from now on she might only live to be Jacks trophy.

She felt so sick, to taste air in her lungs almost knocked her from her feet it was so sweet. The metal clattered beneath her feet as she edged out again onto the fire escape, reaching out to hold the banister tight. Tonight was calm and still. No beatings scheduled for tonight it seemed. Or perhaps later. AJ didn't know or care. She just wanted to be gone. But there was nowhere to go.

Nowhere except...

Taking a deep breath, she climbed steadily up the stairs of the fire escape until she reached the roof, perhaps closer to the stars than she had ever been. She tilted her head back, twisting round in wonderment, wanting to take in the sight of as many as possible, to believe there was still something beautiful left in this world.

But AJ only had to remember that beings such as Jack lived only to destroy all such hope and she scoffed, despairing of her own desperate naivety.

Her father had abandoned her again. Her lover would be dead before another sundown. There was nothing anymore, no-one and, how Jack had strived to prove that to her. She was empty.

And AJ refused to lose control. She took off her shoes, her aching, burning feet soothed by the cool, smooth concrete underfoot. She walked slowly to the low stone wall that enclosed the roof, and she reached out to let her feverish palms curl around the metal barrier. Holding her weight steady, she pulled herself up onto the wall, lifting each foot to slide over the metal barrier, her hands held fast as she lowered herself onto the slender ledge.

She'd be alright...


	24. Chapter 24

**I will have one more chapter up before the end of the day hopefully. Thank you for reading and reviewing or just reading :)**

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Punk tried to swallow down the foul taste that had built in his mouth. But it was refusing to leave, and it didn't seem to matter how many pieces of gum he chewed, he could not cover it. He was so disgusted with himself, he could barely explain it. He barely understood. This was just one woman, getting to him in so many dangerous ways, he hated the situation he had drawn her in to. And he hated even more how he had to step back and leave her to suffer it alone. Nausea had twisted Punks gut every time he'd caught sight of her, flanked sternly by Jack, looking so smug and so undeniably eager to touch. He'd really battled to keep down his anger, stop himself tearing her away from his menaces. If he knew it was coming to him, then why not sooner die than let him touch her?

Because he was a coward. There was no other reason, however hard he fought to conjure one as he stood, stifled in these smoky, dark surroundings, hating the company he kept. Was he really like all these? Glorifying every beating he had given so thoughtlessly, revelling in the seemingly insignificant lives he had destroyed? He really hoped not, but he feared it, his stomach knotted and his throat constricted as he fought to breathe steadily.

Muttering about his desperate need for air, Punk left the cluster of men barely noticed. Jack caught his eye as he headed for the door and raised his glass of whiskey in recognition. He nodded, sickened inwardly. Jack really must have thought he was stupid. But then, maybe he was, living like this, never really thinking about the ways in which they would end, even though he was well aware how true they were.

Punk bounded down the stairs towards the basement, wanting so much just to fade from view. And this was the only plausible way the ground would be willing to swallow him up. He pulled his ever-present and further crumpled packet of gum from his pocket and had tossed it into his mouth before he even pushed against the bar of the fire door, the blast of icy air hitting him much like a slap in the face. That didn't mean to say it wasn't welcome. It just felt weird breathing real air and not boastful recounts and stale clouds of cigar smoke. Because fresh air only forced clarity and Punk suddenly realised he wasn't ready for that because it was more likely to send him crazy.

Chewing on the gum, barely offered a distraction, just that same old taste. His hand still shook and there was nothing to hold his attention away from all these whirring thoughts. He began pacing the rough tarmac, his head tilted back as he examined the sky, laughing bitterly to himself. Up there, things looked so hopeful. He felt pretty much out of that. But then... the morning would come and April... she'd be safe. It hardly mattered what she thought about the rest of it - he was hardly going to have time for all her thoughts in the middle of his own murder scene was he? Just to know that she was back with people who loved her was enough. It had to be because it was all he was ever going to have.

But still, that was better than what he had now. The stars span out of focus as he spun round in a circle, taking in the misery of his surroundings; the wrecked tarmac, the crumbling buildings, overgrown vines tumbling threateningly off, trying to disguise the sheer mess it held within. And he was part of it, left it too late to be part of any different, never mind better.

His breath was smoky on the air with the effect of the cold night, Punk watched the plume rise higher and higher, wishing he could go too. Anywhere had to be better than here, didn't it?

**Wrong.**

His heart was in his mouth, still thumping dangerously away. "April?"

Of course, he was without the energy to announce her name at the level he needed to, muted with panic. He was seeing things wrong right? He blinked furiously. But no, she was still there, poised on the ledge of the roof, dropped forward by the way she was gripping the barrier. _The wrong side of the barrier_. Fuck, what was she playing at?

Not even leaving time to let this observation form into a thought, he raced back and leapt up the fire escape, two or three steps at a time. His every breath was painfully sharp in his chest, but he could barely allow it to hurt. The only thing that came to his attention was... her shoes, abandoned so casually in a pile, ten paces away from her on the roof.

AJ knew it was him. She'd seen him come out, spinning round and staring at the stars with the wonderment of the little boy he had perhaps never been. Everything in this world was too damn late.

"Stay away from me." she called out shakily, very aware of his presence. Her arms tremoring a little and Punks stomach was wrung with nausea, terrified she was about to fall.

"What are you... April, do you have any _idea_-?"

"I _said_ stay **away! **I mean it... I'll let go!"

Nervously, he leapt back. "Alright. OK..."

His hands shook violently as he kept chewing on his gum , not wanting to look at her even though horror meant he could not stop. And she could feel his gaze burning into her back.

"Is this what it feels like to be you?"

"H-How... How do you mean?"

"Looking down." she answered calmly. "Knowing how far there is to fall before you even drop."

"You're not going to-"

"You sure about that?"

"Course I fuckin' am!" he snapped, knowing that the way his voice swayed betrayed him desperately.

AJ bowed her head, smiling cruelly as she edged carefully along, her toes curled around the rough ledge as if she were a bird on a perch.

Punks stomach lurched and he threw himself forward, his hand slamming forcefully down on to hers, his weight pressed upon it so that she would not be able to move again.

"Jesus Christ April, **don't**-!"

She turned her head accusingly to the side and sneered coldly; "What's it like having no control, Phil? What's it like knowing there's nothing you can do to stop me? Pretty precarious up here isn't it? This place has been crumbling since before **your **time!"

"What's the matter with you?" he demanded quietly, terrified of how calm and collected she sounded even as nothing but a hard and bloody death waited for her below.

She smiled sweetly. "There's nothing wrong with me. This... is **my** choice. What? Want me to look scared? Because I'm not. This is _all _me. And you know what? I don't matter either."

Frustrated, he jerked her arm straight, ignoring her as she winced angrily in pain. "_Listen_ to yourself April, will you? What are you even doing here? Your dad... brother, you thought what this will do to them? Because you're right. You drop, then you fall. There's nothing after that which is why no-one ever drops. You stay **strong**!"

Her burst of laughter mocked him. "Me? Yeah right! What for? My dad... he doesn't care! Where is he, Phil, where? Did they hurt him, did they go after him like you came after Zack? Is that what happened? **Is **it?"

How he wished he could lie to her. But he simply couldn't, looking guiltily away as he mumbled; "I... I don't know."

"So what? I stay... I wait? **No!** The way Jack... the way he looks at me... I can't... I can't stand it, it makes me want to be sick. And I... I kept looking at you... just for something... _anything_... and you wouldn't-"

"I did." he assured her feverishly. "I... wanted to know you were OK."

"Oh, well, I'm fucking **fine **aren't I? You're... just like the rest of them... like my dad! All you know is lies! You don't stay strong Phillip, you just die standing. You looking forward to that?"

Punk bristled, choosing to ignore her. "Shouldn't I be asking you that? You're the one hanging off the roof."

AJ scowled, biting into her lip to stem the way she shivered, her bare arms quaking dangerously all the way down to her fingertips.

"Why are you doing this?" he questioned sadly, stepping up cautiously closer. He heard her sharp intake of breath, but she released it again steadily, not about to reprimand him.

"Maybe I fancy feeling what you're going through, hmmm? Maybe I'd like to know how you _feel_!"

He recoiled a way back in disgust. "What do you think I am? Fuck April, anything happens to you and you know... you know I-"

"No." she cut in sharply. "I don't."

"Do you want a reaction, is that what this is?"

"Do you want _rid _of me?" she challenged hotly, her brimming eyes ablaze with anger as she glared at him. " All you've got to do is say the word!"

"This is mad!" he hissed desperately, pulling on her hand.

"It's all I've **got!**" she shrieked, her voice shattering upon reaching a certain level. "It's the only way I'll get away from here without knowing what I did to you, without suffering for it!"

Punk narrowed his eyes in incomprehension as he tried to process her tirade of words. "What are you talking about, suffer? April, I told you, I'm going to get you out of here... tomorrow!"

"So what?" she wailed. "After that... what is there? There's knowing you turned your back on me just to go and be slaughtered like... like an animal!"

"I seem to remember being labelled that way a few times sweetheart!"

"Shut **up**! You want to be a hero then fine! But you'll never be mine, you know that? Whether I get back to everything that was mine or not won't matter. It won't ever be normal again because you would have been selfish enough to... be _killed _and that's... that's all I'll ever see, every time I close my eyes. Wondering how brutal it was, how much pain you were in... you'll crucify me - just like they're going crucify you!"

"Why do you _care _so much?" he demanded despairingly, curling his hand into a frustrated fist.

AJ laughed bitterly as she stared down at the ledge again. "That answers that question then doesn't it? You don't feel, maybe you don't know how, I don't know. I just know if you did, you'd know why because you'd have felt it all too. Typical bastard male, you are."

"Bastard yeah, but not typical." Punk replied softly, shaking his head. "No way. I've thought about doing what you're doing enough times. I've walked to the edge, got up on to the barrier. Never climbed over though. Never had the guts. But... you want to know how I feel, I'll tell you one thing... you let go, then I'm over too. No question."

"Oh... there's plenty of them." AJ scoffed.

Punk smiled, nodding. "Because you don't believe me. Yeah, I know. Why should you?"

A lump rose painfully in AJs constricted throat as she fought to breathe in air. "Because I... I don't want to lose you. Not like that. Right now it feels like you're the only one that... wants me and..."

"Shhh." he soothed, but she heard the dismissal in his tone and shook with silent fury. "By the time you see your dad tomorrow... you won't even remember my name."

AJs facial muscles twisted in contempt of their own accord. "How can you... you really think so _little _of me?"

"On the contrary sweetheart, I've never thought more of anyone. Frightens me a bit. Fuck April, you're scaring the life out of me right now!"

Her lip quivered as she fought back another all-consuming sob. "What am I supposed to do about it? There's going to be nothing of you by tomorrow and I can't stand it!"

Stroking tenderly down her fingertips, Punk tentatively squeezed the hand he had pinned to the barrier. "So what? You're going to throw yourself off and hope we end up in the same Hell?"

"I don't know." AJ mumbled miserably. "But pretty much anything's preferable to knowing Jack wants to put his paws all over me tonight. With you and me, it's-"

Punk flinched. "Y-You and me?"

"Well y-yeah." she stammered, smiling uneasily through her tears. "That's what we are isn't it? Until tomorrow anyway. And I... I don't want tomorrow to come Phil and I... I don't want to leave you here."

He nodded slowly in understanding and softly questioned; "So... why are you up here, telling me you're gonna let go. Because if... you do that April and that's exactly what you've done. You've left me here."

AJ shook as fresh tears poured from her eyes. "I know." she mumbled guiltily as she stared at her feet. "And I'm sorry. But isn't that what you're going to do to me tomorrow? We're not just walking in opposite directions - they're going to kill you!"

"Yeah they are." he answered quietly, biting at his lip as he squeezed her hand again, wanting her attention without endangering her position. "And you want to know why?" AJ winced and turned her head away. But Punk smiled gently and leant carefully across the barrier, strands of her hair caught up in the icy breeze and whipping his face as he whispered against her ear; "Because they're never going to get an apology out of me. And I'm not going to be scared and darlin', it's not going to hurt, so long as I know you're OK. And right now, you're not and it isn't helping."

"I don't want to _help_." she sobbed miserably. "I want **you**!"

His soft breathy laugh danced warmly across her bare shoulder. "How can you want what you don't know?"

"How can you?"

Punk lifted his other hand and stroked along AJs right shoulder, trying to warm her bare skin. "You... are better than anything I've ever known, that's how. And you know you can't say the same."

"But I... I don't want to be on my own."

"How long's that going to be for April, really? Look at you, you're amazing."

Tenderly, he stroked strands of her hair away from her face and tucked them behind her chilled ear as she giggled forcefully. "I'm still jumping."

"No you're not. Because really you know there's someone out there... someone who'll give everything you want and honey, you don't deserve less. I've never been anything. I could be stood where you are now and no-one would bat an eyelid. You fall and the world's gonna stop, wanting to know what made someone so strong and ambitious, so gutsy and beautiful want to do this... here. Don't make me the reason April, don't make it be me that breaks your dad's heart... he'll want answers. He'll deserve them too and you and me both know I'm not gonna be here to give them to him."

"No." she sniffled begrudgingly. "But we might... be together someplace."

"Yeah." Punk smiled weakly. "And we'd be happy right? Because I know how to do that don't I?"

"Don't you have any self belief at all?"

He laughed uneasily. "Hey, the only person I've ever given a damn about is about to chuck herself off a roof, self belief's a bit wasted isn't it?"

"I don't think so."

"Why? Why don't you think so?"

"Because you're just like me. If anything happens to you, I- and you just said that if I..." A moment's silence as she looked down in wonderment at the far off ground and she immediately sounded fearful. "I don't want to let go Phillip, I don't!"

Her breathing suddenly exploded into a very quick succession of sharp shallow breaths that left her unable to breathe at all as she back up against the barrier, frozen in fear as she fought to be sure of Punks presence behind her.

"Please... **please **don't let me go!"

"April, it's alright... it's-"

"No it's **not**!" she cried out in a panic. "I'm _scared! _I'm going to fall! I am, I'm-"

"I've got you alright? I swear... I've got you. Now just... turn round, slowly."

AJ whimpered at a level that suggested she was containing a scream inside.

"No, don't... don't look down Ok? Just... look at me, right here."

"I don't want-"

"And you're not going to." he told her firmly, even as panic rose up inside of him also.

Keeping hold of her hand, he reached with the other and guided her very slowly round, their terrified gazes locked together as AJs feet circled on the ledge.

"Ok?"

She nodded jerkily as tears welled in her eyes.

"What... what do we do now?"

"You trust me?"

AJ felt her already wrecked stomach drop. Was that fear she heard in his tone? Did she have him scared or did he not... did he not know what to do next? Unable to contemplate the terrifying prospect of either, AJ forced herself, as she shook so violently to consider only his question. And the weight of it made her so damn miserable she found she could not lie to those mesmerising eyes.

"But you're just like everyone else. You're leaving me..." she murmured, breaking down all over again as she did so and Punk felt his already precarious and much needed hold around her slip. He was all at once so much more than desperate.

"No!" he yelled. "No, I'm not!"

"Stop **lying**! You've made your choice. I told you... this was mine!"

"Then tell me how I change your mind, tell me what you want!"

"I want us to get out of here together. I want you to come with me, be with me!"

"Alright! I'll go with you. I will! Just... climb onto the barrier now darlin', **please!**"

But she shook her head fiercely. "You're lying to me."

"Look at me April -" he said sternly, demanding her attention as treacherous tears stained his face too. "-keep looking at me alright... I swear I'm not lying. I'm not. But nothing you want for... for _us _can happen unless you climb over now!"

With nothing to be heard besides the sound of AJ still struggling to breathe as she cried, she climbed over the barrier. Punks hand, wrenched with sweat still held hers as if he never dared to let her go, darting eyes taking in the fear in her feverish face. With no thought, only need, he pulled her tight into his arms, grateful tears welling in his eyes even as his lover sobbed still, clinging desperately to him.

"I'm so **scared**, Phil."

"No sweetheart, not you. You're alright."

AJ spluttered through her next explosion of misery, finding that instead she managed a lukewarm laugh.

"I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry."

"Hey shhh." he soothed, rocking her against his own wrecked body. "You're with me now..."


	25. Chapter 25

**I have so much I want to do with this it's seriously hurting my brain. I've mentioned a snippet of one of AJs past relationships to to give her a bit more depth. If I'm confusing anyone just give me a PM and I'll explain the best I can. At the minute we have landed on D DAY. The clock is ticking... Thanks for reading :)**

* * *

Frank Mendez sat in the dark lounge. It had been dark for a few days now and the man had barely moved. The curtains had remained closed, blocking out the world outside. Without his Princess within the safety of these walls, there was no world outside. There was no life, only existence. His bloodshot eyes itched with sleep he silently refused to adhere to. The only movement he made was towards the kitchen to make endless cups of tasteless coffee that he only forced himself to drink so he would not sleep. How could he dare when April...? _Oh April_.

Today was a week without her and he knew nothing. A failure as her father and so much less of a man. He was pitiful, shattered without her. His kids were his world and yet, Lee was barely reachable. He'd spent the first few days running around helping the police, making sure that everyone was aware of Aprils disappearance. Oh, concern was sky-high within the community, but what use was it when it hadn't brought her home? Her image covered the walls of the abandoned nightclub, copious posters pleading for information.

Nobody seemed to have any. Frank had spent a few hours, back when he still possessed the energy to leave this prison, stood in front of the club, casting his eye over the dozens of smiling Aprils that looked back at him from every wrinkled, rain-splattered flyer, wondering if his Princess still smiled.

He had fought the urge to fly to Chicago and do anything it took to get his daughter back. But the police had informed him that Jack's clubs were no longer in operation and that they were doing "everything we can", which Frank was fast beginning to believe meant absolutely nothing was being done to bring his daughter home. All hope had left him remarkably quickly, and so, here he had sat, in the dark miserable silence, waiting for the phone to ring just one more time and find her on the other end.

Silent tears marked his skin. Emotionless for all his miserable years on this planet, his Princess the only being to make it all worthwhile. He was broken without her, and weak enough now that Jacks next shot would be the only one he needed. No leaping out of his grave this time. Not Frank. There was nothing left. Because he barely knew what Jack wanted. Did he truly want his head on a platter, or did he want to destroy him by taking April... harming her? Because, Frank was ready to make the first incision in his own wrung neck if only she could come home.

Jack was obviously no fool. Father and daughter had next to no time together at all after so long without one another and now all there was to do was suffer a bit more in their next, dangerous separation.

The only thing that kept Frank from spiralling into the vortex of his misery was the rattling of the letter box. He sat up like an alert puppy, the caffeine from those many dozens of coffees throughout the night suddenly swimming through his tired brain cells. Letters hit the mat and then... a firm rapping on the door. Sighing heavily, he dragged himself up, already deciding that if Lee had been ordering shit online again and that was all that had caused him to interrupt his lonely vigil, then he was going to get somewhere close to throttling him today.

The mail carrier looked sombre - nobody was unaware of the plight being suffered by this household anymore. The poor man almost looked apologetic when all he had to hand over was the gas bill. He handed a small, flat package to Frank, who hurriedly scribbled his signature to accept it and slammed the door without another word. He did not recognise the handwriting inked on the padded envelope, but it was one hell of a scrawl.

He turned it over, pulling viciously at the seal, and many square cards emptied out onto the hallway carpet.

"Dammit!" he cursed hotly, stopping short of stamping his foot in frustration. He stooped to pick them all up, only then noticing the gloss. Photographs.

And not just any old photographs either. Franks stomach jolted as he recognised those tired eyes, the messed mane of chocolate hair.

**April.**

But relief did not have time to flood through Frank as he might have hoped. Because in his next difficult breath, he registered what exactly glared up at him. Ugly dark marks. Bruises. So many bruises. Weeping cuts, everywhere. Anger swirled like a storm inside him as he tore through the rest of the sickening images. His beautiful Princess was a physical wreck, her blackened eyes brimming with tears, her lip fat and bloody, angry red marks all across her arms. And her stomach, oh it looked as though she'd been trampled over by a dozen horses, she was quite literally black and blue.

"I'll kill you." Frank seethed in promise to himself as he ripped the envelope open down the seam in search of more, a clue, a ransom, anything! "Whoever you are, I don't care!"

Scrunching the bit of paper he discovered in the envelope into his fist, Frank let the envelope itself drop away and unfolded the piece of paper so savagely, it might have ripped in half.

The same untidy scrawl greeted him.

_Mr Mendez,_

_"I refuse to do anymore to your daughter. I can't treat her like Jack wants, I won't.. April's coming back to you whether or not it kills me. It probably will and I know that once you've seen the photos and realise what I didn't prevent, you won't think I deserve any less. Fair enough, but I need to know she'll get out safely. She's terrified of the idea, but I can't let her stay. You and me both know what happens to the good girls in this world. Come to her yourself, get her away from here and don't ever let her go._

_256-262 Pulaski Road_

_Whatever you do,_ **don't**_ make yourself known round the front or April has no hope in Hell and that isn't what I want. Wait over the security fences round the back. Just be there!"_

There was so much Frank wanted to think all at once. By this nameless bastard's admission, he was the one that helped in the hideous attack of his April. It was so damn violent and he felt justified in wanting to hunt him down and slaughter him. But at the same time, here he was, apparently about to go over even Jacks head to get her home. He knew he should doubt it. The likelihood was that he was being lured into a trap and of course, April was the best kind of bait. Of course she was. Because the authenticity, the sincerity of the words Frank held in his hand hardly mattered alongside mentions of his daughter. Pulaski Road, he knew, A North-South thoroughfare in Chicago. And he would make it. He would. Trap or not, Frank Mendez was going to get his daughter home.

He almost tripped over himself in his haste to get his car keys from the kitchen. His mouth was dangerously dry and fearful, and his heart was beating so that it might explode from his chest, but oh, how could he care? There was no time for fear. Only April.

His keys in one hand and the note still scrunched in the other like his (or rather Aprils... oh God, the thought made him walk quicker) life depended on it. He left the house as quietly as he could, needing desperately to be unheard by his younger son. This was a danger he would not allow him to face.

Climbing into his car, he settled back determinedly and read the note again. And again.

April's coming back to you whether or not it kills me.

Franks hands shook violently as he leant forward, jamming the key into the igniton, the engine roaring obediently into life. He was quite sure he had never heard a sweeter sound.

The bastard stranger in the letter had a point though. Frank couldn't care if this was all going to end some nameless psycho's life and if he did not doubt them so much, he might have appreciated the words. Because they were true. It could kill him too and he would barely care.

So long as his Princess made it home, Jack could take what he wanted of what little remained of the once mighty Frank Mendez.

But **never **his daughter.

_Your dad's coming for you now, Princess. Hold on my darlin'. I'm on my way._

* * *

Punk found he had been shaking uneasily from the moment he had woken up. Not that he'd really slept. From the moment he had managed to convince April to climb alone into her own bed, careful to make no promises. He'd tried his hardest to ignore the fright in her still teary eyes, hating how cold it must have seemed for him to have left the room. But he'd had to. How else would he find the will to refuse those eyes, the unspoken plea for him to stay? He didn't want to have to believe he was a dead man any sooner than was necessary. He'd gone back to the roof and willed the miserable night away.

And even now, it was barely gone. But how could it be? He had been with Jack all morning, trying to suppress how much he hated the man he had once so stupidly idolised. He stood stock still in the stuffy, dank office, like always, barely moving, barely daring even as he was spoken to. Just the delighted hiss that left that poisonous mouth made his skin crawl, but he forced himself to keep calm. With plans like his today, he couldn't afford to make anyone suspicious. It was easiest to keep his hands stuffed safely in his pocket and just be normal - as normal as any existence lived in Jacks shadow could be.

"Big day today, Phillip." Jack boomed brightly, shifting through "the books". Jack's books weren't normal. There was nothing that delighted him more than totting up how many thousands the poor souls out there owed him. He was a firm believer in every debt being paid, all currencies accepted, right down to life.

"Yeah? How come?"

Jack just levelled his head and let that sickening smile curve his lip, barely settled when there came a firm knock at the door.

"You wait and see." he answered firmly before turning his head to direct his voice towards the other side of the door. "Come in. Shut the door."

Punk hardly needed to watch. He wanted to look away and would have been halfway successful if he wasn't already well aware who was due to walk through the door. John had been sent up, almost without spoken instruction, to wake AJ quarter of an hour ago, to stand over her while she made herself presentable if needs had been. Punk had been unable to say a word, but didn't believe privately that she was still asleep. And that wasn't a good feeling because he knew that she would have barely closed her eyes for worry and for sheer panic, too terrified by all that this day should bring and should not.

"Boss." John said smoothly, shadows cast over his immaculate form as he drew the door open and stepped into the room. He stood aside for AJ, her lips budded as she walked calmly into the room and stood in front of the desk, her hands laced like a child called to the headteacher's office. She couldn't fight the overwhelming urge to look towards Punk, but he foresaw it and turned away, occupying himself at one of the cabinets.

AJ forced herself to swallow down her hurt, understanding why he had responded so. She took in a deep, soundless breath and looked right at Jack, repulsed to do just that, but at least she wasn't weakened.

"Jack."

Jack sat up straight, lacing his chubby hands together and looking her appreciatively up and down. AJ kept her eyes fixed on a bare spot on the wall behind him, flinching only as Punk slammed down a stupid looking ornament he was looking at a lot harder than he might have meant to.

"Sit." Jack stated, gesturing towards the chair and only just managing to compose his face into some misguided interpretation of pleasantness after the warning scowl he had reserved for Punks heavy handedness.

AJ dutifully sank back into the squashy chair, feeeling herself begin to shake slightly, her mouth dangerously dry. What was he doing down here? She was worried about him. Really worried. _Had it all changed? Was he planning to let her know?_

It didn't seem so. But then, as he came round the edge of the desk, a glass of whiskey in his hand, his gaze on her felt the strangest thing in the world. It was like he was a different man, more callous somehow. And AJ hated such uncertainty, preferring instead to keep her eyes in her lap.

"Take it." Punk advised bluntly, forcing the glass into her unwilling hand before stepping back into the safety of the shadows, just waiting... listening... panicking.

"Must be hard for you." Jack announced with a heavy sigh. "This time of year."

She blinked back at him, unwilling to speak.

"How long has it been now?"

AJ scowled, pursing her lips unfavourably. "Since he died you mean? A year. I'd have thought even you could remember that far back, Jack."

He chuckled dryly in response. Punk on the other hand, was utterly motionless, stunned - and still trying his damnedest not to look at her.

"Your fiancé wasn't he? This Danielson fella?"

The second tumbler filled with water almost slipped from Punks increasingly clammy hand. He turned round slowly, his narrowed eyes scrutinising her.

"You were engaged?"

"Hardly." AJ muttered bitterly, totally unnerved by Punks expression. He looked... jealous. "He... died the night we decided on it."

"Mmmm, impressive it was, Phillip. Right hero, this Bryan. Rushes in to a burning building, rescues a few women."

"I wouldn't call him a hero." AJ cut in, well aware of the darkness sweeping over Punks face as he listened.

"What would you call him then?"

"Dead. No more, no less."

"Wow. You've got a nice opinion of the guy you wanted to marry, haven't you?"

She shrugged. "What use is my opinion? He's _dead_, Phillip that's it. He didn't have to go into that house, he didn't _have_ to be a hero. But he went looking for his end when I wanted to give him the-" She stopped speaking abruptly, slumping moodily back against the chair as she fumbled anxiously with her hands. "Oh whatever. It's not like he ever gave me the chance." She glared across at Jack. "This what you wanted then? To drag me over all this, to make me feel like absolute-"

Jack raised his hand to silence her. "I was just saying."

"Well **don't** alright? Have you ever lost someone, Jack? Someone you thought mattered? Because it's hard. It's so damn **hard**. And you forced that on me remember? You took my Dad away from me!"

"And I've already told you!" he said sharply, those small piercing eyes looking even more icy than usual. "It wasn't personal, but prices need to be-"

"Don't you **dare**!" she yelled furiously. "I'm _paying _your fuckin' price right now Jack, you know I am! Or did you want a closer look?"

Punk bit desperately into his lip as AJ shoved the chair back and leapt up, wrenching her top away from her battered flesh to showcase the ugly coloured marks all across that bore his name.

"Tell me what I did, Jack, I'm dying to know! What did my dad ever do? This... It's not his fault is it? It's you, getting the hump because you couldn't make sure you killed him in the first place. You hate him so much because he's here, walking round, letting the world know what a failure you are!"

"Enough!" Jack spat furiously, his temple pulsing like it might burst free of his head.

Unsurprisingly enough, Punk found himself readily agreeing and hastily moving to stand behind AJ and do whatever he might have had to to stop her endangering herself in these last few hours. He wanted to get her out. But she had seen his approach and flung him warningly away.

"No! No, it's **not**! You make me so... who the Hell do you think you are? Wrecking lives... _killing?_ You know what, I just can't take the suspense. Tell me what's gonna happen Jack! You gonna pick off everyone that matters to me, to score points? Because if you knew what it was like... like to lose someone... to **love** someone and then... _lose_ them, then you'd wanna be dead too, you know that?"

She was suddenly aware of a nervous Punk stepping away, without the nerve to stand and listen to her words. But her gaze found him, tearful and lingering. He tried to pretend he felt nothing, but she might as well have had a blade in her hand, plunging it into him again and again. Her words were for him - and he had nowhere to hide.

"Because there's nothing! _Nothing!_ And I just... I just don't understand why you want to destroy me, Jack... what did I do? I never asked to be... part of this world. I never.. just, please... don't... don't do this again, not to me!"


	26. Chapter 26

**Thank you for reading :)** _(Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock)._

* * *

Jack was completely unmoved by AJs emotional state. Not even a flicker of recognition went across his cold face. He simply turned and suggested to Punk that he ought to take her back upstairs. She scowled and wiped furiously at her streaming eyes, rushing from the room without waiting for Punks approach. He bit anxiously into his lip and moved quickly to follow her, but found himself colliding with John, who was loitering in the foyer, just outside the office door.

"She didn't look all that happy, did she?"

"Stay away from her, alright?"

John smiled tightly. "Like you have, you mean?"

Punk bristled, not saying a word. He didn't trust himself to. This seemed to please John whose thin lips twisted into a sickening smile of satisfaction.

"Oh yeah, we all know about that. Can't say I blame you but... not good for your prospects is she? Boss man isn't happy."

He shrugged nonchalantly, feeling the repulsion wrench his gut. He hated how there seemed to be a long line of these cold, idiotic men, of which Punk knew he had been one, to step up whenever one was displaced. He had no idea or care as to whether Pierre was dead or alive. But either way, he obviously hadn't struck soon enough. Pierre had obviously feared his own situation enough to sell Punk in his own precarious place. He himself couldn't have expected anything less. He'd known for too long the mechanics of men who lived in this world. And he too had been out for himself alone for such a long time. But now there was April. Now there was a reason to care that Jack was to seek retribrution with his own life.

"What you saying, John boy? C'mon, I can tell you're dying to spell it out to me."

John smirked. "Watch your back, that's all. We'd hate for anything to uh... happen, wouldn't we?"

* * *

Punk glared at him and stormed off in the direction that she had rushed, his heart beating so fast that his every shallow breath was like a blade in his throat, so painfully difficult to swallow down.

He'd heard the threat in Johns gleeful words and yes, he was fearful. How long did he have then? Could he really do it, was there enough time to make sure April was gone before they came for him?

He caught up with her sooner than he hoped he might. She was backed up in the corner of the stairwell, crying quietly as she stood there, the miserable diamonds caught in the dim light that dared to illuminate her face. Punk looked guiltily down, hardly knowing if he dared to shuffle forward. He stood beside her and she turned away, her arms wound protectively across her heaving chest.

"Leave me alone." she demanded coldly as she sniffled.

"You really think I can do that?"

"I never know what you're gonna do, Phil. I would say that's part of the attraction but... you haven't really changed have you? You're still... cruel."

"I... I didn't mean to say that stuff."

Stormy eyes narrowed, AJ turned her head and glowered at him. "Yes you did. You spoke to me as though... Bryan's dead, Phil, and you're there, talking about him like... it broke my heart to lose him you know! It was like someone tore me in half just to spite me! Yeah, I thought I'd lost my dad and I hate Jack for that, but Bryan was different. He was a friend... a-"

"Lover." Punk finished awkwardly, gaze fixed firmly on the floor.

"Yeah. It... It was my choice to feel anything for him and- he was dying of a brain tumour, did you know that?"

He blinked shamefully in response and mumbled; "Didn't know anything, did I?"

AJ smiled weakly, not quite able to look Punk in the eye. "The point is, I stood to lose him to something that wasn't his fault. But he... he went into that house, knowing it was burning to the ground, and he chose to leave me stood there, leave me on my own. And I'm not so sure you're not about to do the same."

Punk laughed bitterly. "At least he died a hero."

"I told you, I've never thought he was a hero. I hate him most days... for leaving me when we had the time to be together."

"Yeah, alright. But at least you knew he was good for you. The comparison isn't all that."

Her eyes clouded with sadness as she looked at him. "I don't care about comparisons. Why... Why do you find it so hard to believe I feel something for you too? What, you think I should still be grieving, staying faithful to the memory of a man selfish enough to leave me, never moving on?"

"I'd say I'm more a step backwards."

"No. No, that's not true."

"What do you know, April, really?"

She nodded slowly as she bit hard into her lip to keep her welling tears from falling so treacherously. She had to stand there and accept his guarded ways. But all she had for him in return was painful honesty.

"I know I'm scared. I'm scared for you."

Punk flinched and it did not go unnoticed.

"Phil? Please, what's..."

He turned in to face her as she pleaded with him, but he looked out over her head, feeling an upsurge of emotion quivering in his throat. "Just... be ready OK?" He bit hard into his lip as it began to quiver. He refocussed instead on her face, shimmering with fresh tears, somehow understanding the nothingness of his words. He smiled fleetingly, his fear settled momentarily by her sheer closeness. His hands quivering, he raised them to her face, stroking tenderly down her dampened cheeks as he drew her closer, his lips brushing hers to bestow the softest and most anxious of lingering kisses.

And the new understanding that AJ derived from his sweet taste made her shake dangerously, almost losing her balance as she fought to straighten up and hold her own weight.

"He knows, doesn't he?"

"Yeah." he answered, releasing a shallow breath. "He knows. So I'm guessing I didn't do Pierre all that much damage. Now I'd like to but... we'll go soon OK?"

AJ nodded jerkily, feeling a lump swell in her throat as she looked up at him. He did not know his worth because he refused to believe it. But at least he seemed to understand that she refused to go without him... why. Bryan may well have been the last man AJ had dared to confess she loved, but he was the very last thing she wanted Punk to be. He was himself, and that was enough.

"In fact..." he mumbled breathily, lazily casing her hand and gazing up the staircase. He pulled her forward a little, and he smiled apologetically as she stumbled, not understanding this movement. "...come with me a second."

AJ stayed still, staring at him in wonderment for a few seconds, before twisting her hand in his and forcing his second to drop away so that she might lock her fingers lovingly through one and follow him up the staircase as he held on.

They walked out onto the roof together. She recoiled a little in horror, not quite recovered from the desperations she had felt the previous night when she had climbed over the barrier and seriously contemplated the saddest of endings. But Punk stepped close, assuring her; "It's Ok. It's Ok, I'm here... nothing's going to happen-"

"What are we-?"

Punk walked to the edge, AJs by now clammy hand quaking in leant forward a little, critically scanning the surroundings. She didn't understand what he was apparantly able to see that she could not. But whatever it was had settled him as he straightened up, announcing calmly; "We have to go now."

"Now?"

"Now."

"But-"

"No." he told her firmly, pulling on her hand to lead her back towards the stairwell. "Now, April. Trust me, please?"

"I do. I-"

"So c'mon!" he pushed, sounding a little more desperate this time. Nerves were starting to swirl rather dangerously inside of her. She could barely grip the banister as they began to go back down the stairs. Punk had dropped down a step in front, gripping her hand fiercely. He was trying to protect her, suspicious on every movement of light on the wall, every sound he appeared to hear that was not his or her responsibility. His mouth had dried out so much he was barely breathing. He just concentrated on clutching her hand. This one innocent touch was so much to him right now. He didn't even know himself anymore. That wasn't a bad thing but... if John was right, and Punk had no doubt he was - there had been plenty to suggest in Jack's overly relaxed manner, as if he enjoyed toying with him - then April... she could only be safe on the other side of these callous, unforgiving walls.

He turned to her as she came down the last of the steps and pushed her gently against the wall.

"It's gonna be alright, you know that?"

"Yeah." she murmured softly in reply, caressing his feverish face. "I know that. I'll be with you, won't I?"

Punk felt the most alien sensation burn through him, but knew what it was instantly, if only because he had never known it before, never known anyone quite like her before. Love. At its most fierce intensity too. And he didn't understand it, all he knew was that he loved the way it felt, even though his was probably the most undeserving soul ever known to such an emotion. Perhaps it was best he'd only feel it for a minimal duration.

"Yeah." he replied breathlessly, with little conviction for his own sincerity.

But AJ hadn't noticed that, smiling her first true smile in all the time Punk had known her, and at the moment, that felt like the most painful lifetime. It was eased a little only as AJ gave into her only urge and kissed him fiercely. He couldn't refuse her, wishing he could make it last forever, terrified he'd forget her taste before she was even gone from his sight. But at least he was assured that the parcel had reached the Mendez house in all entirety - Frank was waiting.

And it was that thought that made Punk break away, half a smile upon his lips. "Ok, Ok... we have to go. One thing... you can't look back alright?"

AJ laughed nervously as she held his hand. "What are you expecting?"

But he was not amused, worryingly anxious. "Promise me!"

"I promise. So long as you don't let go."

Punk smiled weakly, offering no words to secure his agreement. He moved round in the limited space and stepped out onto the tarmac first, holding open the door to lead AJ out into her freedom. He could not taste his own. He knew it wasn't really there, it wasn't really waiting. But still he held her hand, gratified to hear her feet against the tarmac.

He waited, counting beneath his breath.

**"Princess!"**

And finally, at ten, Punk could breathe.

AJ froze, her hand beginning to shake desperately in Punks. Going against all she had asked of him, he let it drop, and watched as she stumbled blindly to the bleak fences, craning her neck to catch sight of her father.

"Dad? **Dad!**"

She half screamed as the fence rattled dangerously, crashing and banging, assuring her of a presence on the other side.

"Dad? Dad, is that-"

"Princess, are you alright, are you..."

AJ rushed forward and tried to assist with the movement of the fence to permit any kind of exit. Punk could almost smile as he watched their efforts, well aware it could be done, because he'd removed the hefty lock on the entrance gate himself.

But that wasn't all that was left to occupy him in the next few moments. The nerves and anxiety that had been squirming on the floor of his stomach these last few days finally found true cause for their being as he felt the well known shape of a barrel of a gun against his neck, a hefty hand on his shoulder, wordlessly demanding his silence.

He laughed soundlessly, straightening up defiantly. "Hello John."

"You want to draw attention to yourself Punk? Or are we going to do this quietly?"

"You going to leave her?"

"Ah, you're the man, Phillip."

Smiling sarcastically, Punk hit back. "Then I'm all yours."

"Glad to hear it."

Punk began to walk, but John jabbed the barrel sharply into his neck and steered him around again. "Not so fast, Romeo. Don't you wanna say goodbye?"

"**No.**"

"Well tough, you're gonna."


	27. Chapter 27

**Well last nights Raw was something else. I can't believe the nerve of them having an article on the WWE website asking if AJ is the worst RAW GM? Seriously? I'll remember a hell of a lot more when AJ was incharge compaired to lets say..Booker T. I mean what has he really done? And Vickie? She needs to stop putting so much lipstick on. She had it all over her teeth last night. Horrid woman. Anyway. Thank you for reading :)**

* * *

AJ could feel the hope draining from her. She was practically scrambling at the gate now and what use was that? It simply wasn't moving. Her heart was pounding so painfully in her chest that she could have doubled over with the agony. Hearing her dad call her name so feverishly was all that kept her up. She'd been wrong, he was here... for her... he loved her just as much as ever and in return, she loved him so much more she...

"April!"

She flinched as she heard an alien voice call her name. She whirled round in ready accusation, her sharp breaths painfully shallow in her throat, rising up from a dangerously tight chest. All she saw at first was Punk, looking worryingly ashen, his tongue darting over his lip ring. She knew he hadn't said a word. And, craning her neck in panic, the sound of her dad continually bashing and thundering at the gate to move it was lost to her. She saw the barrel pressed firmly into the base of Punks neck, the hand that held the gun so steadily. And she went cold as she stumbled forward, knowing only that she needed to be with him. She'd do whatever it took. She was not about to leave here alone.

But as she rushed a pace forward, Punk felt the barrel leave his clammy flesh in one furious swipe, John instantly edgy, swinging his arm out threateningly in her direction. She leapt back, her eyes wide with fright, and Punk quickly swang round to guard AJs shuddering body with his own. She watched, frozen by her fear, somehow not understanding why he hadn't struck out and disarmed John.

Punk himself knew why. There was no point. Yes, he could do it, and he could follow April wherever she chose to go now, but he'd be found and he knew it. Hunted down like an animal and brought back to this eventuality anyway. He knew, however much it frightened him, that it was better to face it now and know that she was gone.

"No way, Cena." he hissed warningly. "It isn't her you want."

John laughed tauntingly. "How would you know? Maybe we all want some of what you've had. We both know Jack does."

"Yeah." Punk replied awkwardly, quickly licking his dried out lips. "And I'm the one that's gonna pay for that, right? Not her."

"Takes two doesn't it?"

"Most things do John boy, I'm surprised you're out here on your own really. Tell Jack you could handle me did you? I'm impressed."

AJs throat was dry as she stood, almost cowering behind Punks given protection. She wanted to speak whilst having no idea what she might say. Her mind was shattered and her heart...

But Punk stole away the need for her words, turning his head and directing his words calmly towards AJ. "Go with your dad now Ok?"

"What? No!"

"He's **waiting** April." John told her forcefully.

She bit hard into her lips to keep back the threat of tears that spilled from her eyes anyway. "Phil?" she whispered.

She did not miss the way his voice swayed under the burden of emotion he was fighting to lkeep down, to never know.

"Nothing to stay for anymore, sweetheart."

AJ faltered as she stepped back. She didn't want to leave him.

"You heard him." John sneered as he recognised her hesitation. To hurry her along, he jabbed the barrel of the gun back into the base of Punks neck. He flinched and pulled in a deep breath.

"Don't make her watch this, John, please."

"I'm not making her do anything. I could have blown her brains out by now if I wanted Punk, but have I? She's trying my patience though. Twenty seconds or she'll get it all in slow-mo. Understood?"

Oh, he understood all right, his heart thumping away so fast and so damn painfully, he wasn't quite sure it existed in his chest anymore.

"Go April, please!"

Eyes brimming, AJ shook her head. And John was not in the mood.

"One! Two!"

Punk closed his eyes, feeling the raging panic surround him. She wasn't listening. She was in just as much danger. But then he heard two blissful sounds. One was the terrified whimper to leave her at the sound of Johns voice, the clicking of his finger sliding comfortably against the trigger. And two was the scurrying and scraping that Punk could only associate with April stumbling away towards the gate. He allowed himself half a breath, wishing more for a whole one, but being forced to stop as a wail reverberated through the still air.

"**Don't**. Please don't, I'll... just _please_..."

"**Princess!**"

And with a force that threatened to deafen the whole city, Punk watched, rigid as the unmistakable Frank Mendez finally tore through the gate. The effort looked as though it had taken all he had. He looked a little stunned to have come through his stubborn obstacle, but to catch sight of his daughter...

Punk knew in the moment that Frank flew at his daughter, even for her slightly dishevelled state and tear-stained face, that for her, it was going to be Ok. And that was all he needed. Grateful tears poured from Franks tired and aged eyes as his arms surround AJ like he might squeeze every last breath of life out of her. She was rigid against him, not quite knowing how to react to the embrace she had begun to believe she would never again find herself in. Relief pounded through her but at the same time it did not, because her father's closeness did not guarantee Punks safety. She felt sick.

"Are you... did they... April, please, speak to me."

Frank was in a frenzy, his hands sweeping up and down his tremoring daughter's form, just to feel her there. He barely gave her time to speak, his need for instant assurances too great. She watched him in sheer bewilderment, as if she was confused by him, did not know him. She backed slowly away, picking up speed as she became more confident in her steps. His brow furrowed as he tried to draw her close again, but she shook her head tearfully in confusion, turned and raced back to Punk.

"What the-?" Frank murmured, taking in the scene, the anger, the gun pressed into the neck of the young guy AJ raced so certainly to.

"Get her **out **of here!" John roared, feeling threatened by her speed. "Get her out or I'll do it right here, right now! I mean it - I'll blow his brains out!"

AJ collapsed in tears about a pace and a half from Punk, who could barely look at her as she sobbed there on the ground, heeding the warning.

"Princess?" Frank asked cautiously, reaching down and placing a hand comfortingly on his daughter's shoulder, his unforgiving eyes never leaving Punk, who whitened lips were thin as he tried to look defiantly back, prove to him that he was unafraid, even with the threat of John behind him. "Who is he?"

"I'm the one who wrote the note, yeah that's me."

Franks face was instantly thunderous, his eyes ablaze with fury. "_You. _You allowed that to happen to my daughter?"

"Yeah."

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Frank swallowed down the willingness of every thing he'd like to have done to maim this sick bastard's life, gratified to realise he was talking to a man deserving of the gun pressed to his neck. Besides, April had begun to howl even louder on the ground even just at the way Frank had spoken. He didn't want to make anything worse for her, he just wanted to take her home. "Well, seems to me you're about to get yours." Tilting his head, he smiled across at John. "Don't think you have to hold back will you pal?"

Franks whisper of an encouraging smile sickened AJ as she slowly looked up, realising that her father was too furious with everyone around to realise the truth of it.

But that didn't seem to bother Punk at all.

"Just take her home Ok? Keep her safe."

"Oh, I don't think I need any pointers from you! Enjoy won't you?"

Punk offered a tight, sarcastic smile.

Frank turned away and tried to reach down to lift AJ into his arms and help her to her feet. But sullenly, she resisted, fighting him off with all her remaining energy. Unfortunately, there wasn't much of it to overcome.

"C'mon Princess, up you come, your dad's here now."

"No! Get **off **me! Daddy, no!"

"Shhh, shhh... I'm gonna take care of you now. It's going to be alright."

Relieved to hear the words leave another mouth with so much more truth to them than Punk could ever have given, he felt himself nod in agreement as he watched, her fighting Franks assistance all the way as tears poured down, dragging her reluctant feet across the unforgiving tarmac.

"No, I can't- Dad, please, **no**!"

She fought and she writhed and struggled. Frank was having to pull along she had put up so much resistance. His arms were like ropes around her drained body, but still she twisted round, her tearful eyes searching out Punk. Looking back. Oh he hated it, he wished she hadn't. Because this, it was the last time, and all he would know now was April, screaming out his name so desperately.

"**Phil!** No! Phillip! Please Daddy, _please_... I can't... he... **Punk!**"

All that waited was the end.


	28. Chapter 28

**Thanks for reading :)**

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Curled up on the passenger seat of Franks car, AJ had not stopped crying. In fact she sobbed to a ferocity that threatened to tear her pained chest open, but she barely noticed. She had writhed and fought, screaming out Punks name desperately until the image of him was physically gone from her view. It was still there though, right in front of her, even as she scrunched her unwilling eyes tight shut to stem the tears pulsing from her eyes. She could see him and she feared for him. She felt sick down to her stomach, and yet her dad seemed determined not to notice how broken she was. He concentrated on keeping his foot firmly on the accelerator, wanting to get his daughter as far away from all these dangers as quickly as he could.

And all she wanted was to go back. She could do nothing but would have done everything, just to know he was Ok. Was he? Was Johns finger still on the trigger, had he pulled it? Was he... on the floor, bleeding, waiting for the last of his wasted life to leave him? Oh God, he couldn't die alone. There was nothing... nothing more hideous. And AJ, she was terrified, even to be away from him. She'd meant it when she'd said he made her feel safe. Her Dad had been able to do that before such times, but now, she barely trusted him. Why couldn't he see how desperate she was?

"Dad... _please!_"

"Shhh, we'll be home soon. I'll fix you a nice stiff drink and... you can get in a hot bath..."

"Shut **up**!" she screamed furiously. "Stop trying to make everything normal! It _isn't_... it'll **never**..."

Frank blinked, obviously doing a fantastic job of ignoring the words coming from his daughter's mouth that he couldn't bear to hear. "Oh, Princess, Lee is gonna be... so..."

"Look at me, Dad! **Look**at me!"

But he couldn't bear to, his face drained of colour as he concentrated on the road ahead. He swallowed down an uneasy breath and spoke more to assure himself than AJ. "And that scumbag will get what's coming to him, don't you worry!"

"Worry?! He's not-! I left him to **die** back there! You made me _leave _him!"

"I need you to be safe!" Frank replied testily.

"He **made** me safe! And you _dragged _me away from him when he needed me! They're gonna kill him Dad, can't you tell he needed me?"

"What was I supposed to do? Leave you there to get shot to pieces too?"

"Yes! **Yes!**"

"_No!_"

AJs responding breaths were dangerously shallow and she shook more and more violently as she struggled to bring them in. Hating how she saw absolutely no understanding in her father's lined but once kind face, she was drawn further and further into a panic attack. Her mind reeled and throbbed with desperation as she sobbed.

"I won't ever forgive you. I won't! Stop! Stop _now!_"

Panicked, Frank watched the way she threw her gaze anxiously around. He saw how she threw her weight furiously forward, but he could never have forseen the way she grabbed the steering wheel, jerking it out of Franks grasp, taking frenzied control herself as she screamed again;

"**Stop!**"

"What the-?!"

Shaking desperately, he lurched, adrenaline pulsing through him and, thinking of only how he needed to save his Princess, to keep her safe and give her back her normal life, to forget every horror she might have suffered, the every hideous idea that had kept him awake for all these sleepless, terrifying nights and he managed to straighten out the car, thankfully shoving a by now howling AJ hard against the passenger side.

"He told you... he told you he was bringing me home! He was gonna keep me _safe_!"

"Did you... Did you believe that?"

"Yes! You know **nothing**!"

Frank eased off the accelerator guiltily, pulling up into a side street that, with a defeated sniffle as the tears kept coming down like waterfalls, AJ recognised. She almost wanted to smile. But to be here again, she could almost feel the pain of all the wounds that had become part of her before her last visit here, and through her blurry eyes, she could still see Punk slumped against the wall, choking and wretching. But at least then there had been breath in his body, and now...

Frank sighed desperately as he wriggled over onto his hip, biting into his lip guiltily as he gazed over at his distraught daughter.

"Are you going to tell me?"

"What's the point?" she snapped miserably, head hanging so that her gaze did not leave her lap. "You're only going to see what you want. You're never going to understand."

He nodded begrudgingly. "No. Because I'll never understand what goes on in Jacks head... how he goes for revenge. And those brainless violent-"

AJ shuddered. "No! They could have killed me Dad, but they... they never touched me!"

"So why are you black and blue? Why have I got the photos to prove. Something went on April, _something._"

She wanted so much to scream out how had it had been, but couldn't bear how she knew her dad would look at her having heard the truth. He'd roll his eyes, dismiss her, even in his relief to have her back. He'd never be prepared to believe it. And Punk was still somewhere, maybe not more than a body anymore. _Oh God..._

She wanted to sob more than ever, but found that her body could not comply. Her eyes were stiff, sore and dry. And she was cold and shivering. She had no tears. Nothing. She was numb. And she needed desperately to be awoken again.

"I want some gum." she mumbled thickly.

"What?"

"I **want **a piece of gum. I want five, I want ten, I want the whole sodding packet! I want some gum! There's a shop on the other side of the street."

Frank didn't move. His Princess hadn't chewed gum to his knowledge since she was 15 years old. She had got it tangled in her hair that he had to cut and vowed to never chew it again. But then, he reasoned, she was in terrible shock. But there was that paternal niggle that refused to leave him.

"I'm not leaving you Princess. Not ever again."

AJ scowled, sickened just to look upon such a hypocrite.

"How fuckin' **dare** you! Phil is _dying _back there because of you! A piece of gum is the least I deserve wouldn't you say?" Frank cast his eyes down and AJ scoffed, adding dangerously; "If you don't go, I will!"

He sighed heavily, lifting his palms from against the steering wheel in defeat as he shifted to pull himself out of the car. "Alright, alright! I'll go. Across the street you say?"

AJ sat back in relief, allowing that tight note of a breath to leave her as she nodded jerkily. "Mmmm. Round the corner."

"Don't move!" he said forcefully as he slammed the door. AJ complied, sure she'd seen terror in his eyes. But it didn't reach her. Her heart pounded painfully against her aching ribs and she felt nothing for her father. She didn't believe him. She believed nothing of him anymore. He held himself so stiffly, anyone could see he was terrified, only walking on because he saw her watching him so fiercely through her narrowed, watery eyes, daring him to refuse her when she might never have been with him again. Of course, he could not do that, regretfully slipping from her view as he rounded the corner out of this little side street and back into civilisation.

AJ became calmer with every step that separated them. She still shook so terribly violently that she was amazed she hadn't been sick. But with every step Frank took so reluctantly away from her, her resolve returned and as he turned from her sight, she was more determined than ever, an ugly smile fighting to twist her quivering lips against the force of her misery.

Easing her stupid heeled boots from her burning feet, protesting with pain, she tucked them neatly in the footwell and pushed, through her shoulder, against the door, standing up and taking her very first sobering breath as her bare feet touched the rough tarmac. She flinched at the impact of the passenger door closing, but pulled herself together quickly. She was liberated. Free to make her own choices.

And she chose, with no regard for the pain she suffered, to turn and run back the way she had come. To not stop until she knew.

_Was he dead or alive?_


	29. Chapter 29

**I just ordered the new CM Punk t-shirt for the show in 2 weeks. Soooo excited! Thank you for reading and reviewing :)**

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With so many thoughts crowding her agonised mind, there was barely time or energy for just one of them to make sense as she ran. Physically, AJ felt it, the movement feeling as though her tender sides, marked with the fading bruises she regretfully held to Punks credit, splitting open. But emotionally, she knew of, and was focussed on nothing more than pushing herself forward, to racing back the way she had came - to being with him again.

Her muscles throbbed desperately in protest, but still she went on, the rough ground completely unforgiving on her bare feet. She winced through her brimming tears, but refused to acknowledge why, running still, even as her chest tightened so desperately that she worried she would collapse and be discovered by her soon-to-be frantic father before she was anywhere near Punk again. She barely knew what she was going to do if she did lay eyes on him again. Except perhaps, if she dared to believe she might see him alive, then she considered she'd probably collapse in relieved tears, and stay there, on her knees, ready to say or do anything she might have to, to give him the chance at living life in all the ways he never had.

Punk was probably right. She knew nothing of him except... he hadn't wanted to live life this way. He'd just known no other way, didn't believe he was worth more. And AJ, out here alone, only able to hear her own heartbeat pounding away in her ears, she knew different. He was the reason she could have been free. But to know the price he had paid, her conscience would never have been the same. And she couldn't live like that. Not when he would have...

Oh, she felt mad, ridiculous. She'd left the car, so determined just to run, to be free... from her dad, everything he'd do to keep her away from Punk when he needed her more than he'd ever admit to needing anybody in his life. And she shouldn't have done. She should have taken the car. To keep Frank away from them both, to live. But she could barely hold herself upright on her own two feet, she was so sickened and afraid.

It didn't matter that Phil was not even three streets away. What mattered was that she'd foolishly entered into a situation where she could not save him. She could only be there through the last of his ordeals. She was going back... knowing that if she was not already too late, she was going back to watch him die. But at least he wouldn't be alone. At least she could say she'd done that for him.

She could barely see a thing as she pounded the potholed pavement, her eyes so narrowed against the bite of the wind, the tears so desperate to fall from her eyes. She crashed heavily through the mercifully unlocked gate and struggled so hard to open her eyes enough to acknowledge her miserable surroundings. There was almost no need. Because although she was terrified down to her writhing, tender stomach, she was relieved to recognise the place. Hate it she might, but as long as there was the hope that he was still here, then... this was where she needed to be.

But to be back within its perimeters, she almost fell off balance through fear, looking so desperately around. Then she saw it, the huge darkened patch glittering as it was absorbed into the tarmac. Nausea rising up from her stomach, she staggered towards it and it glittered all the more, menacing in the weak morning sunlight. She reached, an ache tearing through her abdomen as she pressed her fingertips into the moisture. She bit back a scream as she leapt back, her fingers stained scarlet. The surrounding area was deserted. And Phil was bleeding somewhere... perhaps to death - if he was not already gone!

AJ nearly sobbed as she raced towards the building, feeling the warm, sticky substance cling to the sole of her foot.

"**Phil!**" she screamed, tearing up the fire escape, wincing at the way the rough surface of the metal staircase cut into and snagged at her bare feet.

But she kept going, her heart beating so furiously, it had almost exploded. She wasn't breathing anymore. She was living off pure adrenaline and terror.

"_Jack!_"

Of course, there was no-one on the roof, but oh, AJ stopped, just for one inviting second, so painfully willing to climb over the barrier again and this time, let go, to not care... to enjoy the grace of the fall. To fly like a bird, to know the best of freedom.

But... Phil!

Sobbing and spluttering on the painful lump that had swelled in her raw throat, She forced herself to turn away, knowing that the entrance onto the roof was the only damn way she was going to get back into the building unnoticed. Not that she would be expected to come back. She was supposed to think nothing of the ways of this world, to be relieved to return home to the normality of her family life.

None of them knew the truth. Oh, Jack knew facts. He didn't know feeling... he'd never know feeling. Especially not hers.

She flew down the stairs across the lobby, falling into Jack's empty office. Had he been sat there, would she have held back, terrified? Or would she have flown at him, wanting to hurt him as much as she had no doubt Phil himself had been hurt. Was he still here, bleeding his way to death? Or had they... taken him somewhere? That warehouse maybe? The empty, soul destroying place where people had been left to die like animals in the nothingness? Oh, AJ shuddered, still no closer to answers and still so terrified.

But if he was still here... where would he need to be so that John... so that Jack could get away with maiming him in all the ways they believed he deserved before his demise?

AJs breathing becoming dangerous shallow and quick once again, she tried to hold back the tears and think! _Think! Think! Think!_

He wasn't at the top, so... he had to be... at the bottom?

_The basement!_

Whimpering anxiously, she pushed herself from the room and searched frantically with filling eyes for the stairway down. Catching sight of it, sloping so ominously down, barely noticed for the way it seemed to snake out under the floor, AJ almost threw herself down, stumbling awkwardly on the bottom on and falling hard against the wall. She groaned as a sharp pain shuddered across her tight chest. But she pulled herself up straight, wishing she wouldn't shake so desperately. She couldn't show how scared she was. She just needed... Punk.

So she roughly pushed the ready rivers from her eyes and bit into her quivering lip, trying to ignore how painfully sharp her deep breaths were in her accommodating chest. Oh God, she was so scared. She'd never approached any situation with such fear and trepidation and she'd known some damn tight spots. But she'd always tried to avoid the miseries of this world and now she couldn't have been more involved with it if she tried. Had she seen the last of her family, of the weak sunlight outside that kidded everyone else that things were OK in this world?

AJ glanced anxiously back up the darkened, steep stairs, and recoiled as she noticed the dark trails glistening, some sickening beauty about them. A choking sob shook her, but it was only then she felt the wince of pain. Her foot jerked in instinctive response and she looked down with a frightened gasp and saw that blood was gushing from her foot, soaking her feet, sticky and warm. But she took another of those deep, painful breaths and stepped into the basement.

"Jack?" she whispered. "Jo- John? _Please!_"

Silence. Darkness. Terror.

And the coppery scent of fresh blood in the air. AJs? No. The sheer strength of it around her was making her gag.

"Phil?"

"Well... well... well... here's someone we weren't expecting."

"John?" she called out blindly, mouth dry and heart thumping as she span round in the complete darkness. "Wh-Where are you?"

She felt the tickling of warm yet stale breath against her ear and bit back a scream as she recoiled in repulsion.

"Right here, darlin'."

"Where is he?" she quivered, unable to stop herself sound as though she was pleading. "Please... whatever you're going do to him... I have to see him. **Please!**"

AJ heard the cruelness in Johns whisper of a laugh. She felt him jerk roughly at her elbow and push her forward. She stumbled, feeling another gush of warm blood caress her toes.

There was more light in this next place. In fact, it seemed desperately overbright. It stung at her eyes, bright, clinical, neutral. Normal and calm, all but for the pack of four of five men, stood tall in suits, apart from the one short, wide man that was undoubtedly a very eager Jack, pacing like a pack of lions around a cornered prey. And the stench of blood was so much stronger, AJ used all her energy in trying not to be sick as she cried, knowing well who the prey was, whose lashings of blood covered the floor.

She tried to cover her mouth with her hand to keep back the sheer loudness of her sobs, but her hand shook too violently to stay against her mouth. Instead, she turned to John, terrified and disgusted all at the same time as she demanded in a shattered voice; "What have you done?"

The corner of his lip flickered proudly, stretching up into one of the most repulsive, evil smiles AJ was ever to know.

"Shot him, of course."


	30. Chapter 30

**Thank you for reading and reviewing! There will be another update later on hopefully so stayed tuned :)**

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AJ went cold as she looked at him, so smug and so proud. She shuddered violently in repulsion and an upsurge of the purest anger allowed her to devote her remaining energy to shoving roughly past him, almost knocking him off balance. Her chest was tight, struggling to breathe as she staggered blindly. "You can't have!" she shivered as the tears rushed down her feverish face. John simply stepped into the room beside her, hardly needing words to assure her he had.

She'd drawn the attention of the men stood around their victim, enjoying his downfall. Her... she was too late.

Jack moved, almost with a proud swagger, towards AJ, a forced sigh swelling his already expansive chest. "April!" he called brightly, earning him a venomous look from those devastated eyes. "Back so soon? Only I have it on the best authority that Daddy was out the back waiting for you. Shame you had to go so quickly, could have offered him a cup of tea, politeness, y'know? We have a lot to catch up on, me and your dad."

"How could you **do** this Jack?" She demanded in a shattered whisper. "What difference does killing Phil make to the _truth_?"

Jack reeled back, his spine looking as if it couldn't take the exertion. But his face was unmoved. If anything, he looked amused. His hairy lip curved into a cold smile, his piggy eyes swerving around his crowd. Many smug smirks looked back at him, so sickeningly willing. Jack's glistening face was falsely blank as he turned back to AJ, his voice soft enough to make her shudder in disbelief and disgust.

"Kill Phillip?" he echoed, his voice slightly higher and staggered. "Oh no, he's alive alright."

A bitter scoff left AJs mouth before she was even aware. She simply looked down, aghast. Punks blood was soaking through her bare feet. There was so much of it. It made her sick. How... How could he still be alive with so much that was vital missing from him? How did Jack expect her to believe him?

Jack recognised the doubt however and with a swift gesture that was recognised by everyone but AJ, the men parted, silently, obediently.

"That was just the warning shot!"

And, just like that - there was Punk. He was slumped on the floor, his clothes were stained by his blood, soaked. And it was still leaving him, oozing through his fingertips as he pressed his hand fiercely to his shoulder, trying to stem the flow from the wound and wincing through the pain. But the way he flinched as they moved away, AJ knew was nothing to do with the pain, of which she was sure there was plenty. He'd seen her, but something, something she didn't dare to think on had kept his gaze stubbornly from her face.

But even at the sight of him in such a mess, oh the sight was enough to steal her breath in relief. Only now, she was shaking so much, she was ready to be sick, hardly able to whisper his name, even when the need consumed her so much.

"Phil? Oh _God_..."

He didn't look up, a distinctively bitter edge to his words, most definitely directed at AJ and able to make her shiver guiltily, even though she knew, just to see him, she'd done the right thing.

"Couldn't stop yourself could you? After _everything_... you had to be here for this... **this**!"

Tearfully, she shook her head, trying to dismiss the viciousness iof his words. "Phil, please... just-"

And terrified of the ferocity with which the blood seemed to be leaving him, AJ tried to reach out and took him. His reaction was a second too late, and she yelped as her hand came to rest over his stained own and the warmth of his oozing blood soaked through her fingertips. Punk glared at her as he shrugged her roughly off.

"Don't **touch **me!" His breathing became dangerously ragged. "You don't... need... to... touch me! There isn't anything you can do to change this! I told you... this is... the way it is!"

"And I told you I didn't want to leave without you and if that means I don't leave then-"

"**Listen** to yourself will you?" he yelled desperately. "_This_ is going to happen! This is what you were **never **supposed to see! This is what you were supposed to turn away from! I tried April, for fuck's sake!"

She blinked slowly to disperse the tears that built so readily in her devastated eyes. Her lip quivered treacherously as she questioned; "How... How could you expect me to do that?"

"Because it hurts Ok? It fuckin' **hurts**. And yeah, Ok, I'm getting what's coming, I told you, I've known that for years. This isn't what you're about. You don't need to feel this too!"

AJ bit hard down into her lip to steady it and with one swelling breath that it hurt to breathe, she turned bravely back to Jack, whose sneer seemed set on his unfeeling features, his cold eyes looking challengly back at her.

"Jack... he's going to need someone..."

Jack's smile mocked her as he tilted his head in agreement. "Lucky you found it in your heart to come back then, isn't it, April?"

"I don't mean me!" she argued desperately. "He needs... medical help! What are you planning to do otherwise? Leave him to bleed to death with your bullet still inside him? I thought you had more class than that, Jack."

"Oh I have." he assured her, his small eyes flaring as though to silence her. "Why do you think I didn't have it put straight to his head, have him obliterated? He needs to **suffer** and _that_-" he spat, glaring at the wound. "-is a good start!"

"Why d'you need to do this to him, hmmm? He's given you his _life _and all you've done is screw it over with... evil!"

Jack's hairy lip twitched, the band of muscle behind him looking so much less amused than their boss.

"Then I guess our Phillip can't be squeaky clean himself can he, April?"

Immediately, AJ bristled defensively. "I never said he was, did I? But you know what... if you hadn't been so damn keen to get one over on my dad, then you wouldn't be doing this! You wouldn't have to, because Phil would never-"

Hastily, she bit into her lip. But Jack knew exactly what she had intended to say and his face darkened like storm clouds threatening to break from the sky.

"He'd never have **touched** you." Jack spat venomously, his voice heightened into a yell as he towered over Punk. "Those were my orders Phillip and you _ignored_ me! You betrayed me when I **trusted **you."

Punk levelled his gaze with a sharp laugh. "You've never trusted anyone, Jack, c'mon! And seeing as I know you're gonna kill me anyway... let me tell you... she's too good for me. And if she's too good for me when she came back here, blood pouring from her, leaving her precious dad fuck knows where just to watch you finish me off, then... she's definitely too good for you. And she **is **good, Jack, but you're never going to know are you? Because... killing me... it isn't going to make her want you any more. Any of you."

AJs stomach lurched, tears slipping from her eyes as she glanced, sniffling at Jack. "Is that what this is going to take, Jack? Me?"

"Why? You think you can save him?"

No." she replied honestly, almost heaving as the realisation hit. "I know you're going to kill him. And I know why too. Because... even though everything you are repulses me, everything you do... Phil was my **choice**. A warped one maybe, I'll go with that. But what you really can't stand is that... I gave him everything before you could take it. He told me you would. You still might, I don't know. And I am terrified Jack." she confessed willingly, nodding towards the motionless men stationed ready behind him. "There's six of them and one of me. But... I broke your rules too, so maybe I deserve it yeah? Punish...me... too!"


	31. Chapter 31

**Two chapters in one day. I just didn't think the last update was long enough. I hope you are all enjoying this because I'm enjoying writing it. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)**

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Silence fell over the gathering. AJs mouth dried out instantly. It was hard to bring in her next breath, but even in the face of this threat, she refused to lose her nerve. How could she when she was stood, her lover's blood soaking through the already snagged skin of her bare feet. Jack straightened his strained back, lifting his head defiantly as he stared at her with those cold eyes. His hands fell heavily to his side, and his hairy lip twitched, which made her flinch in repulsion as she watched it curve into a humoured and satisfied smile.

"Got to admire her nerve, haven't you, Phillip?"

Punks attention was stolen from his own wound in little more than disgust. He couldn't say a word. Many were ready, but the stupid girl was so endangered and he didn't want it to be his fault. Jack recognised this and turned smugly away, a gesture of his hand going unnoticed by AJ because she simply blinked. Punk didn't miss it however, unable to take his eyes from those he didn't trust. His stomach lurched and his wound stung all the more as she screamed, thrown hard against the wall by one of the six men she had been very aware of. His tough body covered her, forcing his weight against her, making her skin flame in uncomfortable protest. As he kicked her knees apart, forcing his own in between, AJ realised her punishment was due. And even as his large grubby hand cased her chin, jerking her head painfully up so it rested against the wall, Her gaze still found Punk. The terror on his face, the pain, the disgust, it gave her the strength to control her repulsed shuddering. She didn't struggle. She simply waited.

"So..." Jack breathed dramatically, his footsteps amplified to an unnerving volume as he strode confidently forward. "...Phillip let you in on my little secret did he?"

The unbearable weight left AJ as Jack's man stepped back, leaving room enough for the boss himself to advance on her, to crush her, to make her feel so sickened. And though she was distracted in the worst kind of way, her gaze still did not move, watching the dark flickering of emotions rage in Punks tortured eyes, hating he knew what was coming, hating even more that she was here to allow it. But she hoped that even in her wordlessness, she had proved to him that, though they were both to be crucified, as she had always known, at the very least, they were here to share in the agony together.

She tried not to wince as his sheer weight, his disgusting form suffocated her, forcing her to wheeze for breath. She simply nodded, defiant.

"Oh, he told me what you wanted, alright. But I want to know Jack is **why**!"

"Why?" he echoed, his laughter mocking her. "Oh April... you're a very attractive woman-"

She tried to swallow down the bile that had risen in her throat. "Yeah? Well, the fact you had to _shoot _your own son to get this close to me should tell you what I think of you. You disgust me."

He recoiled a little, the corners of his mouth turned down in a frown. "Oh... April, that hurt."

She scoffed, turning her head away, feeling his rancid breath warm her cheek. "No. You don't have feelings Jack. You're cold. **Nothing.**"

"Precisely what your boyfriend here is destined to become."

"So kill him." AJ hissed, shrugging nonchalantly. "Nothing you do to either of us changes **anything!** The idea of you... touching me... after him? _Raping_ me? It's sick. Why can't you just **buy **it like any self-respecting guy, Jack? You've got enough blood on your money haven't you?"

"It isn't about money!" he assured her darkly, eyes flaring angrily as he looked fleetingly at Punk.

"No, it's about **power. **And you'll never have that either. I won't let you. Not even after you kill me right next to him."

Jack reeled back a way in confusion. AJ blinked, pursing her cracked lips thoughtfully.

"I just... assumed that's what you'd be doing now I'm here. I mean, it's advisable isn't it? Because if you don't Jack, then believe me, I'm going to walk out of here and drag you down to _Hell._"

His tough, podgy hand leapt up like a serpent and squeezed the motion from AJs arm, making her cry out in pain.

"Are you threatening me?"

"Why shouldn't I?" AJ spat back. "This is my end too isn't it? I figured you'd appreciate the entertainment! You know what, I'm not Franks daughter, I'm not Phils bit on the side and I'm not-" Wincing, she tore her arm savagely from Jack's grasp. "-your possession. I'm just **me **and you don't want to test me, unless you're going to set all six of these charming monkeys on me to tear me apart, then I'm going to carry on making my own damn choices, alright?"

Impressed by her nerve, that last remaining flame of some sort of spark inside her, Jack smiled. "I can see that, April." he announced loudly, tilting his head back. "Why else would you be back here?"

Thrown a little by the directness of his question, AJ was silenced for a few seconds as she considered her words. But out the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Punk, his attention gone from the gushing wound as he tried not to look at her, without being able to stop himself doing just that, looking afraid of the things he had heard her say. Maybe he recognised what a deep grave she was digging. She nibbled anxiously at her lip and picked her way between the streaks of blood on the cold floor before she crouched down at his side and nervously pressed her own hand against the wound, never forgetting the importance of stemming the flow of blood. Punk couldn't help but yell in pain and she almost felt it herself, whispering a soundless "sorry" before she turned back to Jack.

"For Phil. You knew that. That's _exactly _why you're doing this."

"Phillip knows you pay for your mistakes under my rule, April."

"Your rule? Who the fuck are you... Hitler?! What's he got to pay for Jack, _what_?" But as Jack's face darkened, realisation hit her at such a force that AJ could not hold back a subdued laugh. "You're going to kill him... because I **chose** to sleep with him. Wow, you're unbelievable, really fancying your chances with me? **Me**, Jack! You stole my dad from me... you brought me to this place because he what... dared to come back? Show your failings? You're punishing me for... being part of my family and Phil, because... what, he didn't just leave me to you?"

"I don't see he's got much choice anymore." Jack chuckled and his band of muscle mumbled and nodded their agreement.

AJ felt Punk lurch and she tugged desperately on his arm, hearing him curse in pain as it forced the wound a little more open. "You'll make it worse." she said firmly, her eyes not moving from Jack. She rose and looked coldly around all of them. "Alright fine. Do your worst. Pass me round, I don't care. Torturing me like that won't make any of you any more of a person. Me telling you to do it doesn't make me any less. I'm too repulsed by all of you... everything you do to me, I won't be frightened of you anymore. You're pathetic and you know what? I'm **embarrassed **for you!"

The room span as she was thrown hard against the wall again, her spine throbbing in protest. But she could barely register any of it, because she could not breathe, her every effort threatened by the hand that encircled her throat as the other, rough and dirty against her skin, pawed beneath her skirt, trying to pull it down. It wasn't so much fright that had her pinned there. It was the submission. That if this happened, then it would be over and no longer exist to suffer. So, as hot tears prickled in her eyes, her legs shaking like she might collapse, AJ looked up and imagined different surroundings, a different touch. Yeah, the warmth and softness of sand between her toes as she walked the beaches of Florida beneath the roaring sun. Not this...

But Punk could think of nothing but, unable to ignore this whole scene playing out in front of him like a horror movie. His heart was pounding like it was never going to stop, or not at least until these images had sent him half demented. He felt sick, and he'd never known an anger like it, roaring in the centre of his chest. It was so much more intense than the truth of the pain he felt. It was almost easy to forget the sticky sensation of blood on his hand, drying awkwardly between his fingertips, and to pull himself up on his feet, ready to kill the man that dared to touch her. To tear him apart...

But six others had foreseen the need in his movement and swooped, John sending Punk reeling with a sharp and well-aimed punch into his stomach. He fell, groaning, onto his knees, but was not left to stare at them for long as he might have hoped, to kid himself that none of this was happening. No, because they were all so viciously determined that physical suffering was not enough. If there was anything inside him that had learnt to care for April Mendez, then between them, they were going to find it and spear it, shatter this once soulless man.

John fell easily to his knees beside Punk, almost smiling over at him as he reached his level. When Punk remained stubbornly unresponsive, John scooted closer and leapt for his victim, jerking his head roughly up so that the bones in his neck cracked together loudly and painfully, delivering him into another mans rough and unforgiving grasp. He pressed both his hands hard against Punks ears so that there was no chance for movement, even as John skilfully flicked out a switch blade and held it almost expertly up to Punks throat, his pulse all the more erratic and almost visible in his throat at the threat. Johns hand was steady and unconcerned, settling back with a cheery smile to watch the tears stain AJs face as Jack groped her.

"Looks like she's enjoying herself doesn't she?" he said casually.

John laughed cruelly, amused as he leant over Punk and hissed; "Your girl like it like that then Phil?"

Fury was causing Punks chest to tighten dangerously, but he bit hard into his lip and closed his eyes, hoping that he might suffocate.

"Ah-ah!" John sang out as he recognised how Punk was choosing to close off. He tilted his head forcefully up and down, as if he were a puppet. But a puppet would not have felt the very point of Johns blade stab a little more threateningly against the skin, with almost enough pressure to puncture it. "You are going to watch this, buddy. Got to teach you a lesson... or you know what happens."

"Well then maybe you should just **do **it!" Punk yelled angrily, if only to dispel the repulsiveness of the images playing out in front of him from his head. AJ almost gasped in fright when her eyes involuntarily sprang open again in alarm. And perhaps the only thing she could take in was the glint of the blade, poised so readily against the pulse pounding in his throat.

"_No!_" she cried out in horror, somehow finding the strength to push Jack back from her, to rid her shuddering body of his filthy touch. She swallowed down a ready, swelling sob, which seemed to choke her. "No, you can't!" And she turned wildly back to Jack, who had recovered well from such an untimely rejection and smirked coldly as he slid his hands into his pockets.

"Of course we can't." he agreed with a slight nod. "Where are my manners?"

AJ thought better of answering that and took again to biting into her lip.

Jack let out a low whistle and Punk felt the blade shift against his throat as John slacked, causing painful twinges in the muscles of Punks neck. But, how could he care, too horribly captivated by the way her tearful eyes were widened in such fear as they locked on him. Terrified, and yet still so beautiful. He'd tried so hard for her... and she was still here, still suffering, so much worse that whatever Punk would be bestowed to come to her.

All six of the men began to back off, the shortest two breaking off and obediently going to stand on either side of their boss as John dragged himself heavily to his feet, the flicked blade still held protectively in his fist.

Not thinking whether any of them at all would launch themselves at her if she moved, AJ bolted to Punk, collapsing in tears on her knees as she tried to hold him.

"I'm sorry." she gasped feverishly. "I'm so... so sorry!"

Breathlessly, he hushed her, his bloodied thumbs stroking away her hot tears as they poured down her devastated face. He kissed her crown and tried not to make his agony too obvious as he held her.

"I need you to be at home..." he reminded her weakly.

"And I need to be here." she argued in a tearful mumble. "I can't leave you to this... I won't!"

He tried to smile, but found he couldn't and was just grateful that AJ hadn't been looking to notice his struggle. "You've got no choice. I'm not having you in the firing line too. No way, not ever."

AJ opened her mouth, but her protest was cut across by Jack. "Oh... she has plenty of _options _Phillip."

Punk glared and wished he could have held her a little bit tighter just to protect her. But he didn't have the energy, half woozy now.

Smirking, John moved forward and emptied his loaded arms by letting the objects fall all over the floor, the defeaning clatter almost making an ever more terrified AJ sob against Punk. But she remembered her vow not ever to be seen by these men as weakened whatever their threat, and reluctantly crawled away from her lover, straightening up and falling against her knees as she wiped at her streaming eyes. Her many tears meant that her vision was still blurred, relying on what she could hear more than anything. Clattering, shuffling footsteps, like John was kicking something along the ground. Then.. a heavy thud... a clang. AJ saw each object upon the ground, but could not register them, perhaps too afraid to. She took a deep breath and rubbed at both her watery eyes until they were sore, yet clear.

And then she recoiled in horror, nausea squirming on the floor of her stomach.

Laid out in front of her... Johns switch blade, the blade still out and gleaming, almost as though it was begging to be used... a length of rope, coiled like a snake, awaiting its next victim... and a handgun. Loaded no doubt and ready. Ready for her choice.

Her voice shattered, she hardly managed a whisper as she sought her explanation. "Wh-What?"

"Well seeing as you _care _so much..." Jack informed her coldly. "...why don't you choose? I'm going to kill him anyway, you're right. And for all you've suffered thanks to that father of yours, I think you deserve an input into Phillips departure here!"

"**No!**" she screamed in horror as the sob exploded, ripping her chest in half. She turned round desperately, needing Punks reassurance that this wasn't really happening, that she wasn't about to have to do this. His face was like a sheet of stone, no emotion, no sign, no nothing. He looked resigned. And AJ felt sick.

"I'm giving you the _choice!_" Jack spat threateningly.

"You're making me just as guilty!"

"But you **are**. You were guilty the second you crawled into bed with this betraying scumbag! I'm judge, I've got my jury and you April, _you're _the executioner."


	32. Chapter 32

**So it's Hell In A Cell tonight. Hope everyone's just as excited as I am. I have a theory about tonights WWE Championship match. Ok so Ryback is undefeated, I don't think the WWE want to change that anytime soon. And it's clear that Punk will be retaining. It's obvious he will hit the 1 year mark as the champ, remember the surprises he said he has for November or "Punktober II". I have a feeling he will be unveiling the new WWE championship title at Survivor Series. Just a hunch. Anyway our lovable Jerk will probably do anything he can to win tonight. Either a referees reversed decision or a disqualification will leave Punk still champion and Rybacks undfeated streak in tact. There is no way Ryback will get a 3 count on Punk. Well that's my opinion.**

**Ok, enough rambling from me because this chapter is a big one, not only in the development of what happened in the last chapter but for some reason I just coudn't stop writing. So it is looong. My muse..Lost In The Echo by Linkin Park. Thank you all for your reviews, favourites, follows and lastly just thank you for reading :)**

* * *

AJ was almost heaving as she sat there on the cold, hard, floor, the only warmth coming from the lashings of blood that marked her. Her only distraction being how her heartbeat pounded desperately away in her ears, matched only by the throbbing of a reeling mind. She did not feel within her own body. She was floating above, watching this miserable scene, screaming out for her own wrecked form to make the right choice. But she did not know what it was, in body or spirit. She looked at the murderous objects and shook so violent her spine began to twinge painfully, protesting at having to keep such a laborious burden as her own body upright. She was soundlessly sobbing, her chest closing off and being ripped open again by the every one that left her, making her cry harder.

"You're wasting time April!" Jack growled impatiently as he paced up and down the row of objects, his cold, narrowed eyes awaiting the decision she could not make.

"I'm not going to do this!" she screamed hatefully as she pulled herself shakily up onto her bare feet, her knees weak and sagging as she fought to hold her own weight. "It's **sick **Jack - you can't make me do this to him!"

"Oh I can!" he assured her in a dangerous hiss as he stepped forward, the toe of his shoe pinning down the rope. "Because if you don't, then I'll kill you too."

She tried not to shudder, swallowing down the dryness in her throat as she defiantly straightened her back. Jack stooped and picked up the end of the rope from inside the coil, rolling it almost tenderly between his forefinger and thumb. "Haven't asphyxiated anyone for a while..." With a sickening smile, he spun on his heel to face Punk, idly playing with the rope as though he were petting an animal. "What do you think Phillip? After all you tried to do for her..."

Punk tried to hold himself straight, but it sent a pain seering through his light head. He couldn't feel much beyond the white hot pain, sharper and sharper as his surroundings slowly left his focus, seeming further and further away. "Do what he wants. Do it."

AJ felt a sob swell in her throat as she shook her head feverishly, whispering frightfully; "_No!_"

He spluttered on a weak laugh at her protest, but she sobbed harder as she realised the chuckle come hacking cough had drawn blood up from his lungs. Jack gave out a satisfied smirk, AJ rushed to her lover, her knees by now bloodied all of their own as she fell awkwardly to the floor and tenderly wiped away the flecks of blood from the corners of his dry mouth.

"You're not here to... remember? I'm not here to hurt you... **never**."

"I'm already down." he murmured agonisingly, wincing through the every laboured breath he had to force. He lifted his less bloody of hands and it shook desperately as he reached to touch her. His fingertips shuddered as they danced a path from the base of her warm neck upwards, shocking her and soothing her all at once. "I don't want to... wait to be out. Do it and... you'll be safe. You'll-"

"I'll be the **reason **you- no! I won't."

"Someone's going to do it. And I trust you... to go with the softer option."

Through her pulsing tears, AJ managed the most painful of laughs. "I'm frightened Phil..."

"Don't be sweetheart." he soothed shakily, forcing his eyes that little more open just to admire her, even in all this misery. "Do what they want and you've got your chance... to go home, be normal... happy, for the both of us yeah? Y-you can forget it."

"How am I ever supposed to forget this?"

His smile was not sincere. "Yeah... maybe. But April, you can't let them... not because of me. I'm not... worth it. You're so much better. Please... just get out of here. Do what they want, and then you can go, they won't do anything to you. And this can all have just been some nightmare."

Laughing weakly again, AJ bowed her heavy head and pressed her cracked lips to his, the coppery taste of blood being all she could find in his weak, whispery kiss.

"Just... go easy on me, yeah?"

"I-I- I need to tell you something. I need you to know. How I really feel..about you."

Punk stared deep in to her eyes. Looking right in to her perfect soul. Waiting for the words he wanted to hear before his life was over.

"What is it April?" Punk whispered.

"I-I'm sorry." AJ hesitated. Why couldn't she say it? Punks shoulders sagged defeatedly. It was a long shot, but deep down he knew he didn't deserve any feeling from her, let alone _love, _but he had_ hoped._

Blanching hard at her lip, AJ blinked furiously to disperse the treacherous tears that had built in her eyes. She focused on the nothingness of the wall opposite and nodded jerkily, biting back a sob as she got up, turned her back on him and settled herself in front of the hateful objects again. She reached out, her shivering hand hovering above the switch blade. She wanted so much to grab at it, to leap up and plunge into the backs of every one of these vicious, murdering animals. But even the object itself repulsed her and her hand jerked back, almost of its own accord, as though she had just touched a red hot poker.

She grappled at the rope, winding a rough length over her hands and pulling it straight. She studied the feel of it, her eyes closed. And oh, she could almost feel it around her own throat, squeezing every last breath of life and will from her. And imagining that happening to Punk when he was already so close to the nothingness that was despair and surrender to the darkest of ends, it was too brutal and not even guaranteed to work and take all of his obvious agonies. She could never allow it. She tossed it away hatefully, wincing as she heard the thud of it hitting the floor again. Jack gave out a little sigh and AJ looked accusingly up through her teary eyes, despising him with all her being as she saw the soft taunting smirk that had sloped his hairy lip.

Fury exploded inside her and her hand fell heavily around the barrel of the gun, her hand steady as she got up, her arm perfectly rigid as she thrust the gun threateningly in Jack's direction.

"I **hate** you!" she screamed, her raw emotion pounding the dark walls. "I _despise_ you. And this lot? They're here through fear, nothing else! They don't like you, they don't even respect you. They're _scared_ of you. And you know what, Jack? I'm not! Because it's **you **they should be killing, not Phil!"

Adrenaline pounding through her system, she whirled round, casting her devastated eyes on her fading lover, who was writhing in agony as he tried to grip his arm.

"Don't." he whispered breathlessly. "You'll be next. Please..."

AJ shook violently watching his struggle and even more so at hearing his words. Didn't he know she had to, it was all she had left.

"And why's it him, Jack? Why?"

The robust boss was still.

"Then I'll tell you **why** shall I?" AJ shrieked. "Because he's your son! He was your golden boy. You thought you'd turn him into you. Only it turns out, he's got a soul, Jack. He feels... just like I do... we feel for each other... and we went at it because we could... we _wanted _to! And at every stage in this game Jack, your own favourite's got you beat. In anything you want to think of... he's ten times the lover, ten times the man you will ever be, even if you leave him to die right there! And you won't! Because it's in my hands now. I could kill the lot of you, and I'd enjoy it too!"

Jack simply blinked. Somehow, that unnerved AJ desperately, and her hands began to shake to the volume that she could hardly grasp the gun. It felt so heavy and alien in her hands. And yet... this had been the way of life, of survival for the very man whose life she was so much more than desperate to save.

But it was only in those next few seconds, focusing all her energy on keeping her grip, keeping Jack himself in her sight, that she realised, in a swirl of panic that she might well have been too late. Because that shattering roar of pain was Punks. She whirled round wildly, her finger ready against the trigger as she took in the sight of John striking out with his feet and fists as if he were beating a dog. And at the cold, emotionless in his eyes, AJ knew they meant to finish the job. She couldn't bear his pain, her stomach lurching with nausea whenever she caught sight of another splattering of blood glistening menacingly on the floor.

"Get **away **from him!" she yelled to such an intensity that her voice shattered and her clammy hands shook all the more.

But he wasn't listening. "Either you kill him or I do! And I'm not going to care quite as much how!"

"No... No... you can't! You- I- **no!**"

"April!" Punk pleaded, blood once again trickling dangerously from his mouth.

Sobs heaved her whole frame, the gun weighing down her hand as she shook her head viciously, trying. She heard footsteps against the floor and felt a presence over her shoulder. Jack chuckled against her ear.

"Aren't you going to help your man out April?"

"Get _off _me!" she spat, shrugging him away in disgust, her arm aching as she struggled to hold the gun, stepping forward, for the first time truly reading terror mixed in with the pain widening those otherwise mesmerising eyes. She tried to hold the gun steady, but the look of relief to lift the still bloody corners of Punks mouth as he gazed at her only made her feel worse.

"_Please..._"

Her next breath was drawn sharply into her chest as a frightened gasp. She tried to swallow down sob after sob that swelled in her throat, but the effort only seemed to choke her as tears pulsed down her face.

"I _can't_." she whispered dejectedly, sounding so very broken and disgusted with herself at her own lack of will. "Phil, this isn't my world, I don't know-"

"I **trust **you!" he repeated desperately, doubling over as another vicious coughing fit took him over, robbing him of words and energy.

"It doesn't matter. I can't. Forgive me... I **can't!**"

And she turned away, her hands clamped to her mouth because she was convulsing so fiercely she thought she was about to puke. She'd turned her back on him. She'd left him, all in that one movement, when she'd only come back to protect him. But what could she truly do? There he was, on his knees, having lost more blood than was ever going to be safe, asking her, perhaps the only person he'd found himself caring for, to handle one of the most hateful objects she would ever touch, and use it to obliterate him, when they both knew he was playing so desperately on everything she felt for him. But even at the time when she hated him so intensely, never could she have been the cause of something so brutal. And even though she couldn't avoid the truth of his sheer agony, his blood still pouring from him, even though she knew that to have had her finger sat against the trigger was the kindest thing she could have done, she simply couldn't, too broken hearted at the prospect. Because it ws all her fault, she couldn't live with Punks death on her conscience too, his blood forever staining her hands as it did at the moment.

"Not got quite as much nerve as you thought you did then April?" John mocked coldly, stepping up to her other side. "God, I'm glad you're not my girl. There he is... begging you to put him out his pathetic little misery and all you can do is head for the door." He shoved her roughly as he jerked the gun happily from her grasp. "There it is. Off you go to your daddy!"

Sobbing unashamed, AJ raced from the basement, somehow wishing that any of the men in the cramped space would strike and force her back into the room, to not let her go until her lover was dead against her, to make her truly suffocate in her guilt. But they let her go free, and keep running as blood poured from her feet, her knees struggling to support her. And as another haunting shot rang out... she fell to her knees, grieving before she made contact with the stairs. Because all that followed was silence. No more pain.

Punk was dead.

* * *

She knew she had to go. But AJ could not move, curled up on the cold, uncomfortable stairs, howling like a baby. Her head pounded, her pulse exploded and oh... her heart broke. Could it have been any better had she been the one to pull the trigger? Would Phil have been less afraid, in less pain? She'd failed him. No matter how much she hated those to have said the words, she knew they were right. He'd begged her... to hurt him, just so there might have been a chance for one of them. And she felt sickened, almost as if she'd been punched in the gut, she could feel that, really and truly. Because she had. They had beaten her, she wouldn't let him help her leave, just for the hope that he might live in this misery with her for a bit longer. He'd hated himself, furious tears burning in those undecipherable eyes every time he looked at her bruised form. She'd tried not to feel the pain, to ignore him as he pleaded for her forgiveness. She did. She'd driven him on to something he despised. Because he didn't believe the way she had been hurt was about survival, like it had been all the other times. But she'd asked him to, and he had done it.

What had she done? Turned away and left him as he lay crumpled, begging for his own release? And suddenly she was the one destined to always be so much less than nothing. She might have been frightened, but... how was she supposed to live with this? She'd thought that having his death on her conscience, even when it was so inescapable was more than she could bear. But she was not free. Not in any way. Because it was her fault that Phil had died in such a way. She had refused him the last thing he'd ever truly asked of her. It didn't matter that she had been left with breath in her body because it would only serve to torture her, leaving her condemned too for the rest of her own life.

And that was precisely why she found, hot, grieving rivers pulsing from her eyes, that she could not leave. Her knees still trembled, threatening not to hold her up, but she turned and raced back into the basement, the soles of her feet stinging so that she winced every time they made contact with the floor. But she didn't care, barely noticed as John swung round on her, the gun still held fast in his hand and ready to go again if needs be.

"Last **chance**, April!" he roared.

But she barely heard him, reeling as her searching gaze found Punk, sprawled across the cold concrete floor, great bloody puddles growing more and more as it left him still, no longer needed.

And in that moment, AJ may as well have been struck with as many bullets that remained in that bastard barrel, because nothing was ever going to stop her feeling as sick and as sorry as she did then. She fell hard on the ground as her knees gave way beneath her, and she collapsed, sobbing over his bloodied body, so heavy and so still. And the words she needed to say to him tore her chest open with the regret, because they sounded so damn shallow. Because now... he would never hear them.

"I'm sorry, Phil. I'm so... so **sorry!** I never... I never... I should've... oh _God_! I should have told you, Why didn't I tell you how I really felt? Now I- I'm too late!"

Feeling the sticky sensation of Punks blood against her fingers, AJ flinched and miserably bowed her head, pressing her lips to his, sobbing a little harder as she realised all the warmth had left his.

"I didn't mean to let you down." she confessed guiltily in a broken whisper against his ear.

Hearing the shuffling of footsteps behind her, she raised her hand in warning without even turning around.

"You're **never **touching him again!"

"I don't suppose anyone will now." Jack spoke out, and AJ could tell in the shuddering of his tone that the evil bastard was biting back an amused laugh.

"You think you can just _go_?" she spat hatefully. "You think I'll let you get **away **with this?"

As that threatening scream leapt back from the close, dark walls, Jack straightened his back defiantly. "You're in no position to threaten me now little girl. The only person you have left to run to is that good for nothing father of yours. And y'know what? I can see now why you came back for Phillip. Because your daddy... he hears this and he'll be tap dancing on the roofs of Chicago! He's not going to care. **No-one** is going to _care_!"

"**I **care! I thought this was supposed to be about my dad, Jack? Showing him whose boss?"

"It was." Jack agreed. "But Phillip here... he decided to get in the way. Makes the scores shift a bit. I think it's going to kill your dad enough to know his angelic little Princess gave it up to one of mine. This may not be your world April, but it certainly doesn't _repulse _you as much as you make out!"

"You _killed_ him because he was **mine!**"

"Tell you that did he?"

AJ gulped down an angered sob, not wanting Jack to see that, no, he hadn't. But she did know, even without the words ever having come from Punks mouth, that the whole thing had meant something to him. She'd seen the anger, the terror, in his eyes as he'd climbed from her bed and let her know that he was a very dead man if Jack found out what was going on between them. But it didn't stop him coming back. And it didn't stop him harbouring that need to make sure she was safe before this hideous moment had come for him. Had she betrayed him in returning... just to turn her back? Had she betrayed him in coming back when he'd given his everything, perhaps for the first time in his mess of a life to make sure she was safe and free?

She felt like an idiot. A furious, heartbroken idiot. And to feel the weight of his body against her knees like stone, AJ had never felt so alone. Because Jack was right. Her dad wasn't about to care what was tearing her heart apart. If he put his arms around her, his embrace would be cold and unfeeling, because he wasn't about to care that Phil was dead. There'd be no understanding of everything they had suffered together. And AJ would be left alone, in her own cracked shell, hiding away and waiting however many years for her own blackened end. She wasn't sure she could suffer the agony of waiting that long. Yes, she deserved it, but, she just wanted to feel safe again. Like she had with him.

"He was never **yours**, Jack. He never wanted to live like this!"

"He proved himself pretty well!"

"That's because there was nothing _else_!" she screamed, her voice shattering as more sobs took her over.

"Until I brought **you** here." he observed in a slow hiss. "Tell me April... were you something _else_?"

Out the corner of her eye, she registered Jack standing beside her, his well pressed suit not even ruffled for all the anarchy illustrated around him, and she hated him so intensely, she could have been sick. Her neck jerked painfully as she turned around, glaring at him through those narrowed, teary eyes.

"He wanted _me_." she spat. "And yeah, Ok, I don't know what for. But even if it was just for the sex... it was more than you could ever have had. He knew you'd do this, Jack. He knew you were going to kill him. And I decided to be the reason why! I was terrified but we were still there together. That beating... it wasn't him turning in on me... he tried to take me **home.** But I said no, I wouldn't let him because I knew, if he came back here without me, he was gone. So we went to the warehouse... and yeah, you changed the plan. You sent those idiots to do what I begged him to do. He wanted nothing to do with it. He was helpless. But it might as well have been me, beating him. He hated everything about it, because that wasn't the way he touched me. And you... you're fuckin' _jealous_. **That's **what all this is about!"

"He knew the rules."

"Oh yeah." AJ replied, nodding stiffly. "He knew them alright. We both did. But you know what we were doing that night. Right through, him and me.. all night. And that _bastard_, Pierre... I wish Phil **had** killed him! Because if he hadn't crawled to you to spill his guts, then he would have come with me! **Fuck** you and fuck my dad, you're welcome to each other! Phil and me would have been _together._"

"Breaks your heart." Jack answered mockingly.

"You're going to have to kill me too, y'know that? You're going to **have** to do it. Pierre isn't the only one that can squeal! And I will. This is **not** going to have happened to Phil for no reason! I will _never _let you get away with doing this!"

Rolling his small, piggy eyes, Jack sighed dismissively. "I'd have thought you'd have realised by now April - I **always **get away with it."

"**No!** I _will_ bring you down Jack, I'll do it any damn way I have to, and I'll do it for my dad, I'll do it for Zack and I'll do it for **Phil!** I won't ever let you escape me because peace is the _last _thing that's coming to you! I'm not scared of you Jack, I'm disgusted by you, I pity you and I will make you pay! And if you're not up for that, then make this easy, kill me now!"

And at her invitation, Jack looked positively murderous, that pulsing temple ready to explode in anger it seemed. But of course, it was not his own fists that swung forward to attack the will that somehow still seemed to exist within this shattered woman. John knotted her arms behind her back, rendering her helpless as she screamed in pain, writhing against this restraint and getting nowhere as another of Jacks men willingly laid into her. She began to cough violently as he pummelled her stomach again and again, and she began to feel the faded bruises reform on her flesh. But guilt, guilt and fury meant she barely felt the pain even as she screamed and sobbed.

Jack had to raise his voice to be heard above such commotion but it didn't seem to faze him, walking confidently up the same length of the blood-stained concrete, mesmerised by the way AJs devastated, filling eyes never left the crumpled form of her fallen lover. Oh, it would have touched him someplace were he not so satisfied.

"Is that what you want April, hmmm? No, no, no. It's so unnecessary. You see I **know **you'll keep your pretty mouth shut!"

"No you don't!" she screamed back, swallowing down the pain. "You can't break me, Jack! Nothing... _nothing..._"

But his eyes sparkled, challenging her.

"Not even your brother? Lee isn't it?"

And he raised his chubby hand to halt the beating.

"You _dare _threaten him..." she choked viciously.

"What are you going to do about it, April? There's no Phillip now and your dad... can't be that far away can he, and yet he's not coming. Do you think he will April? Spend hours trawling round for his precious Princess? Oh, it isn't going to take much to find the daughter Frank forgot is it?"

"No!"

"Then keep it _shut_!" he hissed. "Or you **know **what's coming!"

He shoved her roughly as he stomped past and it didn't take much to topple her. She crashed to the ground, sobbing and spluttering frightfully, crawling the few labourious inches to lie in line with Punks body. There was no protection to be found here anymore and yet she searched for it desperately. Because here was the only man with any clue as to how it could ever be right. And because of AJ, because of the cowardice she despised so much, it was her fault he was gone, now no more than a bloodied shell.

"I'm so sorry Phil. I wanted to tell you. Before, but I was afraid. I love you" she whispered, snuggling awkwardly down against his shoulder as tears poured down. And she took a deep breath that ravaged her drained body, almost splitting her reluctant and tight chest in two. Her limbs, smeared with blood hers and otherwise, felt like lead, but she prepared to drag herself up and at least try and walk out of here whilst Jack seemed willing to allow it.

She kissed the base of Punks neck. Goodbye. And she froze.

"Get her up." Jack muttered gruffly against Johns ear. "We're shipping out."

"Yes boss."

AJ did not register the footsteps that came for her, her breathing so rapid and shallow, desperate as her frenzied ever crying eyes tried to make sense of the lifelessness of his body.

"Phil?" she murmured feverishly, panic rising in her chest.

But of course, nothing could be returned to her.

John coldly dismissed her increasingly hysterical state and dragged her up from the ground, trapping her in his arms. She screamed in protest, reaching pointlessly out for Punk.

"It's time to **go!**" he snapped fiercely, not even looking back as he followed the rest of them out from the basement. AJ screamed and cried and kicked and writhed, but she could not free herself. They would not allow it and more so, they would not listen to what she had to say.

"**No!** He's not... please, you can't... please don't leave him there... he's not- he's _not_- **Phil! I love you!**"

But that's precisely what they did, John hissing that if she calmed down, he would not hurt her and would instead deliver her back in one pretty piece. But she barely cared.

They'd ignored her and they'd left Punk... dead in the dark and lonely shadows of the basement.


	33. Chapter 33

**Holy smokes Batman! Thank you all so much for your comments on the last chapter! Guests, new reviewers and the regulars. I appreciate it so much. I hope you all know that. Now for all you smart cookies out there, if you read the last few paragraphs in the last update carefully you'll know there is nooooooo way that anyone should be upset at me for Punks death scene. Thanks for reading :)**

* * *

Lee Mendez sat, rigid from the amount he had cried, against the hard plastic chair, his back throbbing as he looked up and down the buzzing and yet miserable hospital corridor, wondering how much more he could take. They hadn't forgotten he was waiting to see April had they? Oh God, she was still alright wasn't she?

Just before one o'clock, the shrill ringing of the phone had been the only thing to draw Lee from his misery, curled up numb in his bed, staring so blankly at the wall, missing his sister so much, so damn frightened that it wrenched at his gut. But up he flew, pounding down the stairs and snatching up the receiver, the sound simply reigniting the hope that he might hear AJs voice again.

"AJ?" he called breathlessly.

No, and his broken heart had sunk. It was a nurse from NorthWestern Memorial Hospital - AJ had been discovered slumped, bloody and bruised outside the hospital entrance and the doctors were making her comfortable now.

Bloody and bruised? What... What did that mean? Lee had tried to demand to know, but he had been dismissed in the kindest ways known, as the nurse was bound by duty to return to AJ as soon as possible. Shaking, Lee replaced the phone, hardly able to mumble his thanks. He felt sick. What had Jack done to her?

Lee flew into the dark lounge, expecting to find his father hunched desolately there as usual. The lounge was empty, and in a moment, he was absolutely frantic, leaping back up the stairs and searching the upstairs rooms with a lot of crashing of doors. He was not anywhere. Lee wanted to scream out but... oh...he had to be with AJ. Worrying so much for his sister these past few days, he couldn't bear to have to start doing the same for his dad when at last, the hope was back.

Lee had raced to the hospital, barely breathing, his chest was so tight with the panic and the blissful anticipation of seeing April again. He felt lonely, but knew that without his dad, he simply had to do this alone.

"April!" he gasped, tearing into the reception area of the hospital. "April Mendez!"

A nurse wandering past slowed up. "Lee? Lee Mendez?"

Lee whirled round, almost in accusation, relieved to realise she recognised the voice from the phone.

"Yeah! Yeah!" he agreed breathlessly. "April's my sister! Please! Where is she? Is she...?"

The nurse put her arm comfortingly across his shuddering shoulders and lead him off down the corridor, reeking suitably of antiseptic that made Lees nose wrinkle in protest.

"I don't mean to alarm you Lee, but as I said on the phone, April was simply... _found_. She could have brought herself in had she wanted... she has no serious physical injuries; cuts and bruises and she's a little bit tender, but she... she was just there, sobbing."

A hand flew to his mouth, hoping to keep in the gasp of horror. "Has she said...?"

The nurse shook her head sadly. "Not a word, I'm afraid. She's calmed down a little since, but she's... mute almost. But you must understand she must have been through one hell of an ordeal, and at this stage, it'd be wrong for anyone to push her. She'll need to work through whatever it is in her own time, Ok?"

Nodding dumbly, sharp panic rising in his chest, Lee bit into his lip, daring to ask; "When can I see her?"

"I'm afraid the FME is still with April at the moment."

He frowned in confusion. "The what?"

"The forensic medical examiner."

"Oh... right. Is that bad?"

Smiling sympathetically, the nurse shook her head. "Just procedure. Look... it might be a while before April's back in her room and ready to see anybody, so why don't you grab a coffee and I'll let you know when she's back."

Obediently, Lee shuffled off to the coffee machine, already dreading the taste of the foul liquid on his tongue before he'd even forced a shaking hand into his pocket to root around for some change.

* * *

AJ didn't really care for the FME. But she cared even less for going back anywhere. There was nothing now. No-one was waiting, nobody cared. She might as well have stayed, not needing to say a word and only blinking as she felt the tears burn. Nobody now was going to see her weakened, she simply wouldn't allow it. She had to be strong, because she had more to prove to Phil than she could bear. When the woman, just another overly sympathetic face when she hardly knew what she was dealing with; had peeked round the curtain and cautiously asked if it was alright to take a look at her, AJ had immediately been suspicious and defensively drawn her patched up knees to her chest.

Sighing gently, the woman had come into the cubicle without an invitation and settled herself on the end of the bed, extending a well manicured hand, her shapely gleaming nails however, suitably short.

"Eve Torres, April... can I call you April?" she pressed with a flickering smile of uncertainty gracing her pale pink lips.

AJ remained motionless. It didn't seem to faze Eve, who shifted to make herself a little more comfortable against the scratchy hospital bedspread.

"I don't suppose anyone's told you who I am." she said softly. "I work with the Chicago Police Department... I'm a forensic medical examiner and I've been asked here to-"

Daringly, she reached out and pressed her hand over AJs knee. Scaling back a flinch of terror a beat too late, She glared at the connection.

"April, I don't have any trouble believing you've been through Hell these last few days. And it's my job, as well as all the doctors and nurses here to make sure you're physically well... that you've... come out the other side. Now, you can take as much time as you need, but please, will you allow me to check you over?"

Silently, AJ looked away. Eve nodded in understanding and straightened up, moving round to the other side of the bed. "We wouldn't do it here. No, I have my own room, it'll be fine, I promise. And if you will, we can just talk, anything until you're ready."

She offered her hand. She saw AJs gaze swerve, just for a second, before she pulled herself off the bed and stood, with a dark face, apparently waiting for Eve to lead the way. Perhaps anything was better than this. Perhaps then, she could be left alone to let her guilt suffocate her as literally as it should.

So here she was. Sat, like stone, on the edge of the examining table. Thankfully, Eve had made no move to do such a thing and AJs crawling flesh was relieved and grateful all at once as she shuddered beneath her snared clothing. Eve was sat, a pile of papers in her lap, half casting her eye over them, and only half, because she hardly dared to take her eyes from AJ, as if she expected such a shattered, silent woman to explode into angered activity, into vengeance. Oh no, she considered privately, her right was gone and it had been since the second she had turned her back on the man she might as well have killed at her own hands - just like he'd wanted! AJ knew the papers bore her name, the reports on the injuries the doctors and nurses had noted and treated as soon as she'd found enough energy in her body to let them pull her inside to help her. Ha, no-one could help her now. She was cold, she was callous, she was a coward.

"Only answer me if you think you can OK, April, we have plenty of time. And if you want to stop, if you need anything, then let me know... in any way you want."

She simply blinked, without the energy or the will to offer anything else to portray her understanding. But Eve did not miss this movement and considered it an improvement. What else could she much expect from a woman who had been kidnapped and beaten like this, suffering God knows what else in the week since she had been forcibly removed from everything she knew?

"This says... they found some bruises across your stomach... and your shoulders. Old ones. Two or three days old. Do you remember how they got there?"

Silence prevailed, but Eve knew that AJ had heard her words and more, absorbed them, because for the every ragged breath that entered her system, she began to shake, more and more violently. Her head jerked in an involuntarily nod and Eve noted, painfully, that a sob appeared to be swelling, unreleased in AJs throat.

"Can you _tell _me how they got there April?"

AJ bit hard into her lip, her hair whipping her face as she shook her head feverishly. And Eve knew, perhaps on instinct, that she was hiding something, something that felt huge upon her burdened shoulders.

"Was it... to threaten you... to scare you... to...?"

Whimpering, AJ shook her head more desperately. Eve hated how she couldn't help but upset the poor woman and took a deep breath, putting aside the stack of papers and pushing herself up to perch beside AJ at a distance at the table, knowing the dangers of getting too close.

"One last question April, Ok? I promise... I won't... I don't have to come anywhere near you if you say no to this question, but please... don't lie to me. It's very important to me... and to the police investigating your... abduction that you tell me the truth. Do you understand that?" She bowed her head, trying to look into her teary eyes. Her lip trembled as she nodded. "Have you... at any time, since you were taken from your club... have you had any sexual contact with anyone that's been with you this past week? Anyone at all?"

AJ jolted, as if she were terrified. But her eyes glazed and in the next moment she was rigid again, unresponsive and hardly blinking.

"April?" Eve murmured, concerned. "Can you answer me? Have you..."

A voice left her as if it was not her own, her physical state so unchanged. It was a cold, factual snap of a voice.

"Yes."

* * *

Lee bit anxiously into his lip as he stood outside the closed off room, wondering how he was supposed to go in there and speak to April. What could he say? What if she was never going to be the same? Rachel, the nurse stood wordlessly beside him, a sympathetic smile twisting her lips as she read the young mans look of panic.

"H-How is she?" Lee stammered, needing to prepare himself before he took that brave step.

The smile flickered, the eyes dulled. And he had to keep pushing, feeling the desperation pounding in his chest.

"What did the FME say? That is right isn't it?"

Rachel nodded. "Yes, that's right. Well, um... all I know is that April's going to heal well, physically at least. They've had to carry out a few tests..."

"What sort of tests?"

Rachel blanched at her lip, not sure whether the frantic youngster was ready for what Eve Torres had told her. But sympathy was still kicking readily inside her and she decided pretty quickly, that to have lived in the fear that she might never see her big sister ever again was perhaps a lot worse than the truth. So she took a deep breath and delivered it as softly as she could.

"Lee..." she whispered cautiously. "April's told the medical examiner that since she's been... gone from New Jersey... she's-"

"What?!"

"She's had sex."

Lee recoiled, scoffing in disgust. "She was _kidnapped_! How can she have... oh my God! Are you saying she was _raped?_"

Rachel flinched. "We're not sure. I'm sorry, but April hasn't said anything more since. But what she did tell the medical examiner makes it necessary to carry out tests for... STIs and such."

"And such? What, you mean like... AIDS and stuff?"

"I'm sorry..."

Lee felt his knees buckle, but Rachel's arms surrounded him quickly, keeping him up and offering him comfort at a time no-one else was around to offer it. God, he felt so alone, so how on earth did AJ feel? A week in hell, having Jacks men, if not Jack himself forcing himself upon her and maybe, just maybe leaving her infected by such dirty, lethal diseases. _AIDS_.

Wiping furiously at his eyes, refusing to go to his sister as he cried, Lee hissed hatefully; "How could they **do **this to her?"

"Nothing's certain yet Lee." Rachel enforced hastily, but the poor guy looked too heartbroken to hear her. Bravely, he stepped forward, pressing his violently shaking hand across the doorhandle. He pushed down and slipped silently inside the dim room. His sister was hunched on the bed, rigid, her arms knotted around her bent knees over the bedspread.

"Hey..." he breathed nervously. "Can I sit down?"

AJ turned her head a little and simply blinked at the hard plastic chair positioned at her bedside. Lee decided to take that as permission and, his legs like jelly, he moved round the edge of the bed and settled himself down, unable to stop from reaching for one of AJs cold hands.

"Please AJ, talk to me."

She blinked again.

So Lee squeezed her hand reassuringly and tried to swallow down his pending sobs. He was not going to break. He could see by the shell that his big, strong sister had been reduced to that he was the one that had to be strong.

"I missed you." he continued softly, really pleading with a motionless AJ in a glance now. But nothing came.

And for a while, Lee had to accept that silence was all she had to give. Until, the softest, most broken of murmurs; "They think he hurt me, don't they? He didn't. Lee, he **didn't**!"

"Who, AJ?"

"I... I made him, I-"

"Shhh, shhh!"

"**No! **You don't understand... I don't need tests, I don't n- I just need him." Gasping frightfully, AJ turned to her brother. "I'm never going to see him again, Lee."

Imagining all the animals that kept his beloved sister caged in this kind of terror for so damn long, he couldn't help but snap hatefully; "Well, good!" but that caused her to scream like her words had been a blade to her throat.

"They wanted to kill him. He wanted me to do it... but I couldn't! I _couldn't_ and I **should **have done!"

"April!" Lee pleaded guiltily. "Please... who are you talking about?"

The word seem to lodge painfully in AJs throat, making tears well in her eyes as she struggled. "Phillip..."

Lees facial muscles crumpled in confusion. "Who?"

"He wasn't what you want to think. He took care of me... he tried to save my _life_... but I couldn't let him. I had to be there, don't you understand that? And they made him suffer Lee, for something we did _together_... it wasn't just him, it was me too, but they didn't care, they-"

"What? AJ, what did you do?"

AJ surveyed him suspciously. And she knew in a glance there was no way she could give Lee, give anyone the truth in a way that would make them understand. They'd judge her, think worse of her lover when they'd been through a literal hell together. So maybe it was just best to come out with it and not allow herself to be judged. To fight her corner until the last. It didn't seem there was much else for her to do now.

"I slept with him." she said stiffly.

Now it was Lees turn to blink, stunned. "Did he...?"

"Force me?" She spat, knowing the words were sticking in his throat. "**No.** I slept with him because I _wanted_ to and I've got that woman, putting her hands all over me, testing me for God knows what... trying to make me into a victim and I'm **not**. Why won't anybody _listen?_"

"I'm listening." Lee assured her desperately.

"Dad came for me y'know. But I ran away. I went straight back to him, to Phil. I knew what they were going to do to him, I knew why. Jack was jealous. Thought if he'd gotten there first, he might have destroyed Dad this time round."

"But... you said Phil tried to save your life... why go back?"

"Because he **needed** me! How can you call it saving my life when he was going to give his own? I hated it, I hated it so much! And Jack said they were going to kill him... they'd shot him, Lee, blood pouring everywhere and I... I tried to fight, but they all knew I was going to lose. He was in so much pain and I just couldn't stand it. I just... I wanted to protect him like he'd tried to do with me, but instead, he asked... no, he _begged _me to be the one that killed him. He said he trusted me and I... I couldn't stop crying. I just... walked out and... oh God Lee, the gunshot. I went so cold..."

Lee suffered similarly at his sister's words, a cold shudder zipping painfully up his spine. His mouth was dry as he struggled to ask; "Did they kill him? AJ?"

"He was just there on the floor, not moving, just... bleeding. So much. Why didn't I just do what he asked me to, Lee? Why am I so _selfish?_"

"Hey, listen!" he began desperately, leaping up and sinking on the edge of the bed, grasping desperately for her shaking hands and realising for the first time that they were stained with dried blood that she was perhaps trying to tell Lee was not her own. "You survived. Phil did what he had to do for you... and you... you did what you had to do too."

"I let him _down!_" She argued furiously as her tears poured down. "They dragged me away from him... they brought me here... they **left **him there!"

The first harrowing sob broke free from the woman and her brother pulled her desperately into his arms, shushing her as he held her and stroked through her hair.

"I'm so sorry, AJ." he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"I thought I felt it Lee." AJ choked in reply. "I was so sure."

"What? What did you feel?"

She shuddered a few more times in Lees embrace, but at his willingness to listen, somehow found the strength to pull herself up, wiping furiously at her teary eyes. "I was on my knees... crying over him and I... I kissed his neck. I thought that was goodbye, I thought he was **gone**! But I felt it. The pulse in his neck. It was barely there, but I felt it when I kissed him.."

"He was still alive."


	34. Chapter 34

**Once again thank you for all the reviews! You are all awesome! Thanks for reading :)**

* * *

Shuddering as he took in his sister's desperate words, Lee leapt up off his chair before he was even sure what he was going to do and slammed his palm flat against the alarm button. AJ shied away with a contained scream.

"What are you doing?" she demanded frightfully.

Breathlessly, Lee tried to reassure his sister as he settled back. "It'll be ok, AJ, it will!"

And within three seconds, Rachel had raced into the room, her facial muscles shifting into a look of confusion as she took in the unchanged scene. "What is it?"

"She says he's still alive!"

"Was! I said he **was**! They made me leave him Lee, he's not-"

"Oh no, you're not giving up, April, not you!" Lee insisted, grappling for her shaking hands. "Rachel... she said he was still alive!"

Rachel gave out a small smile and came cautiously around the edge of the bed, speaking softly to her patient. "Who, my darlin'?"

"Phil." AJ mumbled, trying to fight down the lump that insisted upon rising in her throat simply at saying his name. "He... He was still breathing. I think."

Rachel frowned, wishing she hadn't as she settled on the edge of the bed. "Are you sure, sweetheart?"

"How can I be _sure_?" she shrieked. "I thought they'd **killed **him. But I... I felt it. I'm so sure I did."

Watching the poor devastated woman work herself up into such a desperate frenzy, Rachel felt pity stir and reached across the bed, brushing Lees elbow and capturing his attention so as to lead him from the bed and speak somewhat more privately, even though AJs filling and evermore suspicious eyes never left the two of them.

"What did she feel Lee?" Rachel whispered.

"She said... she kissed him. Goodbye. Because she thought-" Lee swallowed hard trying to rid himself of the hideous image that would no doubt haunt his sister for all the nights to come. "She kissed his neck. She says she felt his pulse. In his throat. But then they dragged her away and- Rachel, he's not gonna be dead is he?"

"Not if I can help it." the nurse answered determinedly as she straightened up, turning desperately into the corridor, searching for a colleague, any colleague. And oh, thank God! "Tammy!" she called out, recognising the ward sister coming towards them.

"What is it Rach?" she asked concerned, her pretty green eyes narrowed as Rachel almost slammed into her, panicked into a frenzy.

"I need you to call the police ok?"

"Ok." came the slow, not quite understanding reply. "And who am I supposed to say is calling?"

"It's all to do with the April Mendez kidnapping. That's all I know. Apparently there's some guy bleeding to death wherever she came from."

"Oh my God..."

"Yeah." Rachel agreed breathlessly, nodding. She gestured over her shoulder back towards AJs room with her thumb. "So I'm gonna get back there and try and work out where the poor girl's been for this past week. D'you reckon you can organise the dispatch of a medical team to go with that?"

"On it." Tammy assured her, rushing off with a weak smile in Lees direction.

"Thank you!" he cried out, feeling the burden less on his tired shoulders at just seeing Tammy leave.

"Right now, Lee..." Rachel began, casing his heaving shoulders in her hands to steady him. "...I need you to come back in there with me ok?"

"What can I do?" he questioned pathetically, suddenly feeling so much more than helpless.

"Keep April calm. Keep _yourself _calm. I know that's a big ask, but right now, there's a life depending on it, and by the sounds of it, it's a life that matters to your sister."

Nodding weakly as treacherous tears welled, without permission, in his eyes, Lee took the brave step of preceding Rachel back into AJs dim room. He went steadily to the bedside, sinking down against the edge of the mattress, scooping up her shivering hands, leaning forward and kissing her feverish crown reassuringly.

"I'm here ok?" he whispered. "I'm not going anywhere."

"But?" she prompted bluntly.

"But... Rachel needs to ask you a question."

Rachel smiled uneasily as she stepped up, well aware of how tear-stained AJs face was. "April, do you have any idea where you've been? The street name, anything?"

"_Pulaski Road_." she mumbled, shrugging her shoulders.

"Right..." Rachel said slowly, hoping... oh God, _praying _for more.

"Is there anything else?" Lee pressed cautiously in a soft whisper. "You're doing really well sis. Just tell us... what was this place?"

"Converted hotel. It's a mess from the outside... falling apart."

"What was around it?" Rachel asked.

"Security fence."

"No, I mean outside. When you left this... hotel... what could you see?"

"Shops. People. Chewing gum on the sidewalk."

"April, please... I know this must be really hard, but I'm trying to help Phil here." AJ jolted, her big eyes sparkling with fear. "You want to know he's OK don't you?"

A sob swelled in her raw throat, but she choked it back, using all her remaining energy on trying to focus.

"There was this... old style movie theatre across the street. And I mean old, it was... advertising black and white movies... Gone With The Wind I think."

"I know exactly where you mean." Rachel announced certainly as she leapt up. Lee flinched, unnerved by her apparent certainty.

"How can you be so sure?"

"My nana practically lived in that theatre Lee, took me there all the time when I was little- I'd know it anywhere. I promise you I'm gonna do my best, April. You get some rest ok?"

"I thought you were calling the police?" she replied vaguely. "I want to talk to them, I need to help them!"

Rachel nodded in understanding. "Course you do, and that's fine, just don't overdo it, ok?"

"You will... let us know won't you?" Lee said anxiously.

A sympathetic smile twisted Rachel's lips. She could see the desperation in both their faces. Did they really want to know if she was about to return to them with news a failure?

"April..." she began softly. "...what are they dealing with?"

Her watery eyes flared in accusation. "He's not a psychopath!"

"No, I didn't mean... what had they done to... Phil?"

The sob swelled again and she had to quickly bow her head as she nodded so that it would not explode. "They'd... shot him in the... shoulder. There was so much blood, it was covering his hand as he tried to stop it but God, it wouldn't stop coming. And he was in so much pain." Her lip trembled. "I don't know where the bullet went the second time they shot him, I really don't. But I thought it'd _killed _him. I never thought-"

Whimpering as the misery began to overpower her and make her shudder, AJ folded into her brothers waiting arms.

"He'll be alright, sis." Lee assured her shakily as he stroked through her hair. "You'll see."

With another weak smile, Rachel slid obediently off the bed and out of the room, ready to do her duty.

But AJ held little faith. She'd seen the blood that had left her lover, marked her own flesh. How could he still be alive? And yet, somewhere deep inside, she was praying so hard that her stomach was knotting over itself, making her feel intensely sick. But how could she care?

Lee could not quite comprehend why it mattered to him so much that this man, no more than a name to him right now was found alive. One look at his stricken sister and he knew that he'd never be able to handle the guilt. This guy had taken care of her in the most hideous of situations and Lee couldn't help but feel he owed him some sort of debt as a result. April wouldn't be able to lie about him... she was too damn distraught!

"I'm sorry..." AJ mumbled thickly, half choking on the next sob, which she refused to let be born, straightening up and nestling down instead like a frightened child into the scratchy blankets, blinking back the tears as she looked sorrowfully up at him, whose heart was wrenched, just wishing he could do something... anything!

"You don't need to be sorry." he whispered tenderly. "This is gonna be alright. He'll be alright, you'll see. The doctors are on their way now aren't they? You should rest."

But her eyes refused to close. She relaxed a little beneath Lees shaky touch, stroking through her hair, but some ten minutes later, the door creaked and she went so rigid in terror that Lee winced for AJs pain.

"April Mendez?" said the kind looking nurse as she stepped into the room.

AJ did not move or speak, which left it to Lee, smiling apologetically as he nodded. "Yeah she is."

The nurse looked almost relieved to hear it. "Well, two things. Your father's just arrived-"

"Oh at _last_!" Lee cried out in exasperation. He'd felt pretty lonely here, and knew that both could have done with his presence and comfort. He didn't quite understand what would have kept him away. Yes, he'd gone to get April and yes, the poor desperate woman had given him the slip, but Lee had left a million or more frantic messages on his phone to let him know where she now was and how much she needed him now.

"-and-" The nurse frowned in confusion as she turned the sealed jiffy bag over in her hand. "-this was just delivered to Reception for you."

"Here you are." Lee smiled, sliding off the bed to reach over for it. "I'll take it."

"April? Are you up to your dad coming to sit with you? He's pretty anxious to see you..."

Beneath the covers, she heaved her shoulders. She didn't care. But, maybe she did, because the crashing that followed, the anxious breathing, the quivering starts from his throat that never became words, she couldn't curl up small enough to disappear and that was all she wanted.

"Princess!" Frank gasped, bolting to her bedside. "What the **Hell** did you think you were- Do you have any _idea_how long I've- What I've been-"

"Dad!" Lee shrieked forcefully as AJ began to shake with the force of the crushing misery once again. "She doesn't need this right now! _Please_! Can't you just be glad she's here... that's she's safe?"

"What have you got there?" he demanded, hardly having heard her words.

"It's **mine!**" AJ snapped, snatching it away.

"Oh well, that's nice for you Princess, never mind that you could have gotten yourself _killed_pulling a stunt like that. No, no, don't worry about me, I was just the one tearing after you, feeling sick down to my gut thinking about what could have happened to-"

But AJ wasn't listening at all. She was clawing at the package with determined nails. And when the package split to reveal its contents, she screamed. She didn't stop, all for calling one name as loudly and desperately as she could.

"Rachel! _Rachel_! **Rachel**!"

"What?" came the equally loud but breathless reply as Rachel raced back into the room. "April, what... oh my **God**!"

Everyone in the room was very aware that the pungent scent of blood was filling their nostrils. Lee had recoiled without wanting to move away from his sister. But he couldn't help it. And Frank, one look and he was murderous.

Devastated as she was however, AJ was somehow mesmerised by it. Her hands shaking still, she lifted the bloodied material into her hands, the scent so close that it made her already brimming eyes water in protest.

"No!" Rachel yelped. "April, don't _touch _it!"

But of course, she was too late to deliver such warnings.

"It's h-his." She whimpered, sounding so broken as her tears dripped onto the shirt, apparently white once, but now so covered in... fresh blood... it could only mean one thing. It could not glisten this way and still offer hope to the likes of AJ. And her chest was tore open as she howled, falling heavily back against the bed, cradling the soaked material like it were a child. The shirt off Punks wounded back. And all at once, even the hope from deep within her stomach was obliterated, replaced by waves of nausea as she rocked back and forth, sobbing.

"AJ, please-" Lee croaked, reaching over his sister to grapple for the shirt. "Give it to me-"

"**No!**" she screamed, throwing Lee off so hard that he stumbled back, almost off balance. "You're too late! It's too _late!_"


	35. Chapter 35

**Thank you for reading and reviewing, favouriting and following. Happy Halloween :)**

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AJ had cried painfully hard for a good twenty minutes, howling and spluttering. Lee stayed, rigid at her side, clutching a kidney bowl in his shaking hands, all of them so sure that she was about to make herself sick in the misery. AJ watched the way the blood dripped from the torn shirt and stained her own bed sheets. Somehow, that seemed to level out her breathing a little and after a while, she pulled herself up. Lee dropped the bowl carelessly with a clatter and reached forward. AJ held the shirt all the more fiercely, refusing to let it go, but it was not that that Lee reached for. He plumped up the pillows to keep his drained sister upright.

The scowl that twisted her cracked lips softened a little, relieved that she still held the scrap of material. Even Frank had long since stopped trying to forcibly taking it from her hands as she had assured him, almost venomously; "I'll scream." There was no trust in his daughter's voice anyone. She sat, ignoring the twinges of pain in her back, caressing the loosened buttons like she was trying to soothe a terrified animal. In truth, that animal was her. Her breathing was less ragged, but oh, how she shook.

Frank however, remained painfully tactless. "Who's all this for Princess? That Brooks boy?"

She glared at him and Lee felt inclined to do the same.

"That Brooks boy..." AJ spat quietly. "The man that kept me alive through all of this, yes! _Him!_ They killed him... because of **me!**" And she thrust the bloodied material accusingly in his face. He reeled back, unable to keep his response merely a thought.

"After what he did to you..."

"I told you-" she hissed angrily. "...you know **nothing**!"

"Oh right-" Frank snapped tersely back. "-so it wasn't him that stood by while you were beaten black and blue? It wasn't him that posted the proof back to the house then?"

Lee looked between them both, the words leaving their mouths confusing him beyond comprehension. "April?" he whispered thickly, feeling tears prickle in his eyes. "He didn't...?" _Not the man she was swearing had kept her safe all this time? How could he have..._

But his older sister was motionless. "Oh yeah, he did it alright." Her fiery gaze settled on her scornful father once again. "Because I **made **him!"

"Rubbish!" Frank scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"But it _isn't_. I wasn't his victim, Dad. They beat me and then..." She paused purposely, wanting her words to damage him for all their effect. "...he made love to me."

Frank recoiled and AJ, she almost smirked.

"You know absolutely _nothing_. And let's face it Dad, there's no point me saying anything because you'll never get your tiny little mind around any of it. It was supposed to be **you** Jack wanted... that's why they kidnapped me... to make you suffer. But when Phil and I- Jack said that would hurt you enough, knowing I... how did he put it? Oh yeah... gave it up to one of his. And you know what Dad, I loved it. And that's what Jack couldn't stand... that's why Phil is **dead**. And I suppose, leaving a body behind meant there wasn't much time to come after you too. Phil has saved you a miserable, _bloody _death. Me too. Can't you even be grateful? He's dead... what more do you want?"

Thankfully, Frank did not have time to answer because there came a soft knock at the door and Rachel stepped into the room, looking guilty almost as two police officers followed her in, flipping open their badges. A man and a woman, neither of which AJ had ever seen before.

"April Jeanette Mendez?"

"Yes?" she returned bravely.

"Detective Chief Inspectors Way & Merriman. We'd like to-"

"Ask me a few questions." AJ finished tiredly, letting her head loll to the side against her mountain of pillows. "I know."

DCI Merriman, with a weak smile, looked fleetingly between Frank and Lee, who both stared blankly back at her, even if there was more challenging in Franks cold eyes. "Family?"

"I'm her brother." Lee jumped in nervously. "And this is our dad."

"Right ok. Miss Mendez, are you comfortable having them here while we talk?"

She nodded listlessly. "They'll need to hear this."

DCI Way grabbed himself and his colleague a hard plastic chair each from the corridor, bringing them both into the small room and setting them down at AJs bedside.

They were barely sat when she asked, a little desperately; "Have you... found the..." She almost choked on the word. "...body?"

DCI Merriman looked down, her long blonde hair lapping at her shoulders. "We haven't heard yet I'm afraid. But when..." She checked herself. "...if they do, would you be able to identify-"

"Hang on!" Frank called out in loud protest. "The girl's only been out of that hell a few hours..."

"Yes, we understand that but-"

AJ cut her off, hissing in her dad's direction; "Phil has _nothing _to do with you. Shut up." Then she turned back to her company and confessed; "I... I only knew him by sight. What if he doesn't... look the same?"

"Well... yes." DCI Merriman answered awkwardly. "Ok, well do you have any other details for us. A name might be all we need."

"Oh -" AJ whispered trying not to get herself worked up, "It was ah- it was Phil- Phillip Brooks. He was Jacks son"

"Alright," she soothed, leaning forward to let her hand brush reassuringly across AJs arm, not having missed the fact she was toying with a bloodied shirt the nurse had told them on the way in she was certain had come from the victim's back. They'd have to take that, run it through the database as evidence. But DCI Merriman could see that AJ had it in a fierce grip, it was definitely best to leave her alone for a while. "Can you confirm that a... Jack Brooks was behind your abduction though, Miss Mendez?"

She nodded jerkily, another sob swelling in her throat.

DCI Way spoke next, leaning forward in interest. "And you say Phillip also worked for Jack?"

"If that's what you'd call it." AJ replied in a bitter mumble. "Then yeah."

"He hated it." she protested darkly. "He really hated it."

"Is that what he told you?"

"Sort of." she mumbled. "Second day we... had a row. Bloody arrogant punk made me want to spit blood. He told me I was pushing my luck, arguing with him so much."

"Did he hurt you?"

"I don't think so. I mean, he had me up against the wall by the throat for a minute or so, but now I think about it, it didn't really hurt because that wasn't what he was after. He said he wanted us to start again. And he said there was no point in making myself miserable while I was away from home because "me and you April, we've got Jack for that." Not just me, both of us. He **hated **it."

"Right. Miss Mendez, we've had a word with the FME, a Eve Torres?"

AJ shrugged. "So what?"

"She said you admitted to sexual relations during your... incarceration. Were they with Phillip Brooks?"

"Yes."

"Consensual?" DCI Way quizzed bluntly. AJ narrowed her eyes contemptuously at him.

"**Yes.**"

"How many times did you...?"

"Three."

"And each time was...?"

"I just said **yes** didn't I? Look, I know Phil and every man like him must have been a lot of things, but he was _not _a rapist!" She turned accusingly in her father's direction again. "So you can stop hoping right now!"

Frank straightened up, amazed and horrified all at once. "Princess, what are you-? I'd never-"

"Yes you would." she sneered. "You'd rather believe he'd _raped_ me than the truth. And the truth is, sleeping with him was **my **choice! And I hope it chokes you, I really do."

Lee looked stricken, but he had no words to make AJs better so the police officiers promptly spoke out over the silence.

"Can you talk us through the days? How did you and Phillip meet?"

AJ almost smiled as she recalled. "Came to beat the living daylights out my minder. Zack..."

"Ryder. Now he is young." Way observed smartly. "Only slipped out the care system a few years ago. Did hear he was another that Jack picked up. He's round here somewhere isn't he, Mich?"

DCI Merriman nodded. "ICU isn't he?"

"Zack?" She blustered. "Oh God, he is alright isn't he?"

"He's healing. He'll be transferred out soon, but obviously not before we have a word with him about all of this... Why was the beating ordered Miss Mendez?"

"Zack and me... we'd talked. And he felt sorry for me I guess. Gave his phone and I called Dad..."

"Can you collaborate that, Mr. Mendez?"

Frank nodded solemnly.

"The idiot forgot to take his phone back. Phil didn't touch him though, pulled me back instead, said he couldn't risk... marking the goods. I really laid into him. It was like he was enjoying it. That's how we worked the next day too. I didn't like him but... there was just something. I was so sure he was supposed to hurt me, but he always told me it wasn't him. So I guess I started to feel... safe almost. Until I saw him..."

"Saw him what, April?" Way pressed.

"He got this phone call and I thought that was it, y'know, game over? Only he left me. I followed him. I sat on the fire escape, watching him. Then I realised what he was doing. Beating some French guy, got caught with a load of drugs. I felt sick. He really was capable of that... I thought he was going to kill him. Only, the men that were with him saw me there. I ran back up to my room but he followed me, said he'd kick the bathroom door in if I didn't talk to him... he thought he could make me understand."

"Did you?"

AJ shook her head fiercely. "I was so angry. We were really tearing strips out of each other. And then... I'm against the wall again and says we've been playing nice and he didn't want to do that anymore. Like he was bored."

"What did you do?"

She felt colour creep into her face. "Truthfully? I kissed him. I think it was an anger thing really, but that was the first time we-"

"You mean you had sex?" DCI Merriman asked.

"Mmmm. Like I say, something about him-" Hearing Frank scoff in disgust, AJ rounded on him, her eyes narrowed in contempt. "If you don't like who this has made me Dad, get out now. Because I just can't care anymore."

Frank blanched his lip and settled his hands in his lap, deciding to stay quiet. DCI Merriman decided to press on with questioning.

"What about-"

"The morning after?" she finished confidently. "Oh that was interesting. We rowed again. He wanted to forget it, or so he said. I already had! I said it hardly mattered when Jack was going to kill me. But no. It wasn't that he wanted, not according to Phil. He went off in a mood, told me Jack was taking me to dinner, told me to enjoy it. It was horrible, having him leering over me, realising why he hadn't hurt me yet. And somehow, I couldn't get Phil out of my head-"

"That's understandable." DCI Way said flatly. "Given that you'd just _slept _with him!"

"But it wasn't!" AJ protested. "I didn't even _like _him! But I couldn't stop thinking about him, what we'd done. And Jack told me... that... I mean, he didn't say in as many words, but I knew... he was going to bump Phil off."

"Why?"

"Said he got bored easily. And suddenly I cared. Made no sense, but he didn't deserve to die like that. I... I went back... to the hotel, my room and... Phil was sat there in the dark. Wanted to come goad me about my evening, but when he saw I wasn't playing, he got up."

"Did he leave?"

AJ shook her head gently, lost to her recollections. "No. He stood behind me. And it wasn't threatening. He... kissed the back of my neck, said all I had to do was say one word and he'd leave me alone. I didn't want him to. I can't explain it because I don't know either but... maybe I was scared for him. I tried to tell him what Jack had told me, but he didn't stop... still kissing me and-"

"Was he forceful?"

"**No! **It was my choice to make him stay, I knew what he wanted. And he didn't stop because... he said he knew. And afterwards, I tried to get him to talk to me, but it just seemed like there was no point. He said he'd always known Jack would finish him like that. And I figured, and I guess I still do, that he was making me into the reason, using me. But he told me that... things happening between us made it worse, but there was something about me too, even if he didn't know what. That's why I trusted him when he told me not to. It's why I made him do what Jack wanted. It's why I stopped him from helping me escape. Because we were in it together, me and Phil. He hated it, watching them hurt me like that, but I'd have let him do it too, just so they didn't hurt him. He was better than that!"

Frustrated, devastated tears slipped from her eyes as she once again suffered the realisation that, with the bloodied shirt in her hands, it'd all be in vain and the pain was not even gone yet. Lee carefully put his arms around his sister, holding her as she cried so quietly.

"I make that twice." DCI Merriman said after a while, in a very careful voice.

"What?" she sniffled.

"You said you and Phillip Brooks slept together three times. So far I make it twice. When was the third time Miss Mendez?"

AJ sucked in a sharp breath. "The night they beat me. He felt so guilty, wouldn't forgive himself. He hated that they'd hurt me and I just wanted him to understand. I had to beg him to come and see me that night. He... just wanted to get me out of there, take what was coming to him, but know I was safe. I just wanted a last night. It was beautiful, but... I made him stay with me all night. And.. another one of Jack's... he saw us together and we were out of time. He tried to get me out, my dad was on the other side of the gate, but I saw the gun, pressed to Phils neck and I... how could I leave him? What kind of person would that make **me**?"

She began to cry desperately and Lee folded completely around his sister as he held her, wanting to protect her with all that was available inside of him. Frank, motionless for all the time AJ had spoken, did not know where to look as he tremored so dangerously.

Rachel slid back into the room just in time.

"Detective Chief Inspectors?" she called out quietly, biting into her lip. "I think that has to be it for today. The doctors have things to discuss with April."

DCI Way looked quite disgruntled, but DCI Merriman rose with an obedient. "We'll speak soon Miss Mendez."

AJ nodded dumbly as she shook Lee off, not really hearing much past Rachel's words. _The doctors have things to discuss with April. _Why did that sound so damn terrifying?

But as the police left, no doctor came into the room and AJs sickened nerves eased a little. Rachel took a deep breath, hands laced and stepped closer to the bed.

"Well, at least the doctors can if you like. They just thought it'd be... easier coming from me. Is that alright?"

AJ smiled nervously. "It depends what you want to tell me."

"We... fast-tracked your tests. The results just came back."

"Is that bad?"

"Is something wrong?" Lee fired anxiously, shaking even as his arm still encased AJs shoulders.

"Not wrong exactly. April, given what you told the FME... about you and Phillip, there were certain tests we had to carry out as a matter of procedure..."

"Whatever filthy disease he's given her..." Frank spat.

Rachel flinched, Lee reprimanded his father; "**Dad!**" and AJ froze.

"I haven't got... have I? _Rachel_?"

Soothingly, Rachel leant forward, stroking her arm, her kind eyes locking on AJs panicked face. "Don't be frightened darlin'. You're not infected by any means."

"Sweetheart, you're pregnant."


	36. Chapter 36

**Wow! Hate This Place has reached 100 reviews and is now part of the PunkLee Nation. I am seriously stoked about this, I never thought I'd see it. A massive thanks to every single person who has reviewed. Old and New, all are welcome. And even if you don't review I appreciate all the views! Big shout out to Red Foxy who is awesome and lets me bounce my ideas around with her. Also RunningOnCrazy who gave my fic a shout out in her new chapter of Not Weak, Just Stronger. Which by the way, you should be reading! **

**Thank you :)**

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It was as though everyone had frozen under the weight of such enormous shock. AJ just watched the way Frank clawed his lip back until it was white, fearful that the way his temple pulsed dictated he was about to explode in anger. Lees arm, stiff now across her shuddering shoulders was shaking more violently than ever and AJ could almost feel his pain. But her own? There was none. It was as though she was lead. Rationality was all that kept her up, speaking so calmly, smiling even.

"Don't be stupid."

Rachel barely blinked. But AJ wasn't to be phased. "It's been a week Rachel. A week. How can I... I _can't_."

Smiling weakly, Rachel tried not to curl her fist, frustrated at her own inarticulate words. "Yes, maybe I said it a little wrong. April darlin', when was your period due to start this month?"

AJ looked at her as if she were half crazy. "Well, this week I think, but..."

"Stress, woman." Frank snapped venomously. "Can't you see that she hasn't-"

But Rachel was not willing to hear it, snapping tersely; "No, Mr. Mendez, **not **stress. Believe me, I understand your theory and I'd well believe it if medical science hadn't just proved us wrong. "April-" she said a little softer as she looked at her patient. "-as yet there is no foetus present inside you, my love."

Lee frowned in confusion as he listened. "Then how can you stand there and say she's preg-?"

"Because the kind of test we use isn't like a standard pregnancy test, Lee. We can't allow it to be. It's a sensitivity test if you like... it'll detect the pregnancy hormone days before you even miss your expected period. And our result says April's going to be missing quite a few over the next couple of months. Right now, there's a fertilised embryo somewhere inside, ready to attach itself to the lining thickened in her uterus and develop into... well, your niece or nephew."

Lee tried to smile at that, but found the shock had pretty much paralyzed his facial muscles. Besides, Frank still looked utterly murderous.

"That piece of scum knocked my daughter up?"

"Mr Mendez..." Rachel tried to say tactfully as she caught sight of how AJs eyes were filling. "...I'm really not sure you're helping right now and if you can't... then I seriously suggest you consider leaving and giving April some time to adjust!"

"This is my fault." she said in a broken whisper.

"Oh AJ, no!" Lee soothed, letting his arms drop comfortingly around his sister again. Like a little girl, AJ let her head flop against his shoulder.

"He didn't want this you know."

"Want what?"

"The first time we... the morning after he... he tried to get me to take the Morning After Pill." Laughing weakly, she snuggled against her brother. "I threw it at him."

"April?" Rachel questioned carefully. "Didn't you ever use...?"

"Doesn't sound that way does it? We used protection the first night, the first time we had sex. That was it."

"Well... why didn't you take the Pill?" she asked, perplexed.

Serenely almost, AJ smiled again but said not a word. Lee squeezed her shoulder and quietly became her voice. "April wasn't supposed to be able- she was involved in a car accident 6 years ago... didn't look after herself..she got an infection."

Rachel nodded. "Yes, I know, I read her notes. But no-one would ever have said this was impossible my darlin'."

"It felt that way." AJ mumbled miserably. "My God... why does this have to happen _now_? What am I supposed to do?"

"Anything you want sis." Lee whispered lovingly into her hair. "We're here."

But through the crook in his arm as he held her, AJ herself could see the storm in her father's face. "Are you?" she whispered doubtfully. Oh, there were so many of them. "I'm so scared."

"But you don't need to be." Lee insisted.

"No? What, so it's as easy as bringing his baby into the world, is it? A dead man's child? What am I supposed to say when it asks questions eh? I barely knew him!"

"But... it can't all be about Phil anymore April." Lee mumbled cautiously.

AJ froze at those words, her gaze snapping from the bloodied shirt in her hands to Lees guilty face. Realising her grip was lax, Rachel promptly leant forward and wrenched the material away, glad to have unburdened such a terrorised woman.

"It's about you and this baby now."

"But there is no baby." AJ whispered. "Not yet."

Lees gaze slid to Rachel, seeking reassurance as the words left his mouth. "But there... will be won't there?"

"Yes." the nurse replied solemnly.

"Over my dead body." Frank spat.

Lee was incensed. "**Dad!**"

"This is **not **going to happen!" he yelled.

AJ, however, barely blinked to register his fury. She was calm and still, but there was enough venom in her eyes as she looked in her father's direction to strike him down dead. It made Lee wince, but his determination was entirely in her court. It seemed there was no bigger bombshell to come and no-one else around to hold the woman together.

"It isn't **your** dead body." AJ sneered coldly. "It's Phils'. And I will _never _forgive you for that. You don't dictate to me Dad, not ever."

"Oh what, so you're going to waste your life on that bastard's child, just because you'll never forgive me when I April, when **I **didn't lay a hand on him?"

"You **told** John to kill him! You wanted to have that gun in your hands and that makes _you_ the animal. And if there's going to be a baby, Dad, then it's **my **baby, do you understand that?"

"No." he answered honestly, a cold edge still in his voice. "No, I don't and I'm sorry Princess, but I never will."

AJ lifted her chin defiantly, spitting out every word venomously, hatred twisting her gut more and more. "So understand this. That _animal_... that _scumbag_ saved my life! There wouldn't be anything for you to understand if it wasn't for Phil because I, Dad, **I **wouldn't be here!"

"I came for you, didn't I?" he raged back feverishly.

"I'm not talking **today**, you stupid _fool_! I was going to jump off Jacks roof, you know that? I couldn't stand it, any of it! I climbed over the barrier, and I stood looking down, trying to work up the nerve to jump, knowing what I knew... I didn't want to be alive anymore. I'd rather have died than leave that place without Phil... why do you think I ran back as soon as you were gone? I didn't even know him, but going back to him was still better than going back with you... trying to play happy families when we were **never **going to be-"

Franks chair clattered against the ground as he leapt up. AJ felt the fear catch in her throat so she could not scream. Rachel leapt into action however and forced him away from the bed.

"She's my _daughter_!" he yelled, as if he were wounded.

"**Yes!**" Rachel replied sternly in equal volume as she drew the door shut. "And she's had her world torn apart in a few words Mr. Mendez, your attitude is not **ever** going to help. And if that isn't what you want to do now, then I demand you leave this hospital now. I'm **not** going to let you back in there, Frank! April needs time to work out what she wants, this has to be her decision! Not yours, not Lees, Aprils. She needs to do what she feels is best for her and her baby. End of discussion! _Leave!_"

But it was as though her brother had not heard this tirade as they were wound stiffly together. Lee felt tears well in his eyes as he considered Aprils earlier words. "But I'm here." he whimpered. "April, please..."

Regret stabbed, AJ turned and squeezed her brothers forearm reassuringly. "I'm sorry, but that was how I felt. It wasn't you, I swear. It was Phil... and now he's gone. I'm still here and I've got something... alien inside of me because of him and I... what am I supposed to _do_?"

"What do you want to do?" he urged softly, stroking through her hair.

"My baby?" AJ whispered in a cracked voice by way of reply, her wide brimming eyes frantically searching Lees face for reassurance that this half poised question was right. "And he isn't here to tell me he doesn't want it is he? And I-" An uncertain smile twisted her cracked lips. "I always wanted my own baby."

"I know sis."

"Never wanted it to be like this though. I always thought... whatever happened, even if I could have... started my family with Bryan, even with everything, then I could have told my baby that at least Mummy and Daddy loved each other. How can I say that to this baby, Lee? I _can't _and that's... it hurts so much. It was a week... I didn't know him and now I never will, so what do I tell my baby?"

"I don't know." Lee stumbled for the words. "Tell it what you told us. That Phillip... saved your life. Then... this baby... it'll know its Daddy cared, even if it was just for a few days."

Miserably, AJ shook her head. "I really don't think I'm brave enough to do this. But what if it's my last chance?"

"Hey, shhh. You don't need to think that, all that matters is that you do what's right."

"Right?" she echoed, awed. "He... saved my life. He... got me pregnant on the first damn try when I swore blind no-one ever could. If I don't... keep this baby, there's going be nothing left of him. Ever. And I can't do that either, Lee. That's evil."

Silenced, Lee simply cuddled his sister closer and AJ certainly appreciated it.

"Everyone's supposed to leave their mark aren't they?"

"Maybe..."

"Well, maybe this is Phils? Maybe it was supposed to be like this."

"What are you saying April?" Lee mumbled concerned as he straightened.

"I don't know." she confessed, her hunched shoulders relaxing only as she laughed weakly. "All I know is... I've just been told I'm pregnant when it wasn't meant to be... I don't know. But I am, Lee. I'm pregnant. Some twisted bastard up there's decided... I'm supposed to have a baby."


	37. Chapter 37

**Another update tonight. I have these ideas and specific things swirling around in my head and if I didn't get them out I would have lost them because my memory is complete rubbish. So AJ is pregnant. Now I'm actually going to skip through the pregnancy and just focus on the important part. The birth and what follows. Thanks for reading :)**

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Yet it had felt as though Lee was the only one willing to support her decision. So soon into her pregnancy, AJ had been wanting to turn around and bolt from the place she had for so long been so adamant was her only true home. Because if there was one thing Union City could boast, it was its plentiful supply of gossips. Anyone with half a brain could have worked out that AJ had returned from her own kidnap a pregnant woman. She heard the whispers, she heard every single one.

_"Didn't think that little April could have her own..."_

"Mmmm... terrible isn't it, the way it happened?"

"She's so brave."

"Not sure I would have gone on with it like she has."

She despised pity. That was all it was, and she hated it. Why should she be pitied when she had come out such a hideous time of her life with the kind of gift she had thought she would never know? She never said a word to confront any of her neighbours. She always kept her head down and kept walking. She'd learnt it no longer did to be so outspoken. Every action had a consequence, a price. And she felt that every day, knowing that her baby grew inside her for every day that went by, never to know their father. Because the baby in itself was all that was left of him. And as her stomach swelled, that was the thought AJ clung to, never allowing herself to cry, even at the very worst of the whispers. They had started early and never gone away.

_"I heard the poor girl was... raped."_

"It's awful."

When Lee was with her, she always shot the offenders a venomous look, but AJ kept walking, at such times determined to keep her head level, because she... and her unborn baby knew they had nothing to be ashamed of. They were a lonely pair was all. She would curl up in bed at night, her cool pikachu pjs feeling ever tighter in the early summer heat, and she'd hold her belly in her hands, stroking around the shape of her bump, whispering promises to her child.

"I'll always be here for you... I'll never let anyone hurt us. Me, you and Uncle Lee against the world now eh?"

And sometimes the baby would kick softly back and AJ could sleep with a smile on her tear-stained face, believing she had been understood. Oh, why did the tears come so easily in the darkness? Why did she allow it to frighten her and why... why did she have to feel so lonely?

Because of course, there was Lee and there was nothing he wasn't prepared to do for his sister and baby. But she hated having to put so much upon someone so young. But very quickly it became apparant that she had no-one else. Frank had been a stranger to AJ since the day she had left the hospital, her bruises barely faded and her resolve to see through this pregnancy as strong as iron. They didn't speak. They skirted round each other, living in the same house and yet hoping they'd never so much as meet on the landing if one was on the way to clean their teeth.

AJ tried not to think what it was doing to her brother, living in such a hostile environment and instead they concentrated on the good things together. Like her first scan, hearing the baby's heartbeat so strong and clear for the first time. AJs hand had begun to sweat in Lees, but they clung together, crying unshamedly with happiness. And yet there was still that twinge that reminded AJ that she'd never see Phils face, imagine him there, as amazed by the sounds, the promise as they were. And Lee would notice the sadder moments and sit still with shimmering, willing eyes and wait, just for a whisper of whatever AJ wanted to say. And usually it didn't take more than "I'm sorry, I just wish..." before the young guy understood.

It was Lee that came with her to all the antenatal classes, holding her hand and grimacing through all the birthing videos. But it was also Lee that she would talk to her about her every fear and it was him with the words to soothe her. He was the one with ready anger when AJ had none, too drained. Frank refused to speak directly to his daughter, but had made no secret of the fact he wanted her to have an abortion right up to the very last moment. AJ defiantly reached five months pregnant, but just to see the fury and the disappointment in her once beloved father's eyes, She felt more lonely than she ever had and yet she had no choice but to go on, because inside her, there was a life that depended on her completely. Her brother and the baby were all she had left in the world.

* * *

Friday 23rd July

10:15 am

And never was that one sad fact more apparant then at this exact moment. AJ had been trying to ignore it since it had started, just before eight that morning, scrunching her eyes shut tight in protest as she winced through the pain that tore through her stomach. She writhed on her bed, pleading in a pained whimper with her child to not hurt her so much. AJ had never really dealt with physical pain. It was bad enough going to the doctor for holiday jabs, or worse, all the blood tests she's had to endure through this pregnancy.

Fear beat agonisingly in AJs tight chest as she realised pregnancy in itself, it was nearly done. This wasn't indigestion, this... it wasn't stomach ache. She'd been trying to kid herself for hours that it was as she gripped her rounded belly, but no. Tears were welling in her eyes as they darted to and from the clock, out of her mind with pain as she wondered how long she had suffered. And at ten-eighteen, something terrifying and completely beyond her control happened. Her entire lower body, her bedsheets was suddenly drenched.

"LEE!" she hollered frightfully, her throat raw with the effort and desperation of calling his name.

"AJ?" he called back concernedly from the foot of the stairs, having gone down to sneakily swig juice from the carton while his sister slept. "Are you OK?"

"Something's _happening_!"

Lees footsteps pounded up the stairs and he literally crashed through AJs door, his face fraught with panic. "What is it?"

"I'm... _wet._" She whispered shamefully, her gaze flittering pointedly to her bottom half.

Smiling in bemusement, Lee carefully pulled back the covers and immediately saw what his sister meant. His back went rigid as he straightened up and said simply; "OK... those are waters." Then he turned towards AJ, ready to help her up and grinned.

"What are you looking so happy for?" AJ groaned, letting her head loll back against her pillows, feeling decidedly dirty.

"What, am I not allowed to be happy my niece or nephew's gonna be born today?"

"No, not when I have to give birth to them! It fucking hurts."

He grinned still, forcing a reluctant AJ to her feet. "It's only gonna get worse, sorry."

"Oh well, that's easy for you to say, I don't know how long this is... owww!"

"Not up to getting dressed then?"

AJ shot him a dangerous look, seriously considering putting her hands around her brothers neck.

Lee leapt back excitedly, hands raised in surrender. "Forget I said that. We're on code red then, I'll get your bags and put them in the car OK? You want anything?"

"Epidural." AJ returned immediately, gritting her teeth through another wave of pain. "That's what I want."

Chuckling, Lee ran off to go and grab his phone and AJs maternity bag from the living room. Oh, this had been a long time coming.

But all of a sudden, AJ was filled with a gut wrenching fear as she tried to keep her back straight, planting her feet on the floor. She'd never done this before. It hurt and Lee was right, it was only due to get worse. What if she couldn't handle it? Tears were already pouring from her eyes and she felt pathetic. But she was afraid and even with all the support her brother could give, she was lonely.

Almost screaming in pain, she pulled herself up, lurching for the bedroom door, which promptly swung away under her weight. But she clung on and trudged out the door to the landing, weeping as she collided with Lee.

"Everythings in the car, OK?"

"Does it _look _OK?" AJ snapped through gritted teeth.

But Lee was not easily offended or hurt. He was too damn excited. "Forgot to lift this bag." he said, matter of factly, diving in to AJs room to grab the other overnight bag that had been packed in preperation for the birth for the past 6 weeks, all of AJs things neatly sat inside. "C'mon then!" he sang out, offering AJ support as she hobbled down the stairs in her drenched pajamas, cursing through the pain as she leant heavily against the banister. "Let's go make you a mommy!"

AJ however, could barely note her optimism. Because Frank was stood, as bad an omen as ever, in the hall, lifting his hands, stuffed neatly into his pockets as he paced.

"Dad!" Lee demanded. "Door."

He looked at him blankly.

"Oh for God's _sake_!" his son said hotly, reluctantly leaving AJ to go and open the door himself, throwing daggers at his father as he passed. AJ however, without the support, was left to sink onto the stairs, leaning forward instinctively to ease the next wave of pain. As it passed, she looked sadly up at her dad, searching for the disappointment, the anger... anything that had used to be there. But all that met her was the silence.

"Why don't you see me anymore, Dad? What did I do wrong? I'm having a baby... right now... and you can't even... you're not even gonna come to the hospital are you?"

He blinked.

"Well, _fine_!" she spat, heaving herself up again and almost tumbling down the last few steps had Lee not bolted forward to hold her up again.

"AJ, we need to go..."

Swallowing down a sob, she nodded and leant heavily against him as they went across the hall towards the open door. But AJ held her weight fast as they levelled with Frank, her voice trembling with such angry misery as she looked into his emotionless face, so like stone.

"This is your _grandchild_ Dad, your first one! It's so innocent... how can you live with yourself... treating them like this? I won't let you do it. Not to my baby."

* * *

Friday 23rd July 

4:45 pm

"Push April - _push!_"

Sweat had matted her brow for the past six hours, her body felt ravaged and on the verge of shutting down she was so tired of such excruciating pain. But it was exactly that that would not allow AJ to give up, even though she begged and pleaded as the tears poured down as if they were never going to stop.

"I can't!" she howled, her whole body like lead now even with just the effort of sitting up against her brothers support.

His young and dewey face was haggard now too, but that enthusiasm had never left his large bright eyes. He'd spent a lot of time in the delivery suite gripping AJs hand and urging her to do the same, never worried for the pain his sister could inflict upon such an invitation, his eyes more glassy with painful tears as he saw the agony someone he loved so much had to suffer for something so precious. AJ had been suffering from the moment she had returned home, supposedly a liberated woman, but imprisoned by her one-time friends perceptions and judgements of her decision to grant herself a purprose in a troubled life by giving birth to a virtual stranger's baby.

"Please don't make me push anymore..." she pleaded, shaking her head fierecely, her hair sticking to her face it was so drenched in a feverish sweat. Her lip trembled as sympathetic but empty faces looked back at her. "Please... you don't know how much this hurts. I can't... I don't want to do this anymore."

AJ, slumping heavily against the little support Lee could offer her, tried to breathe, feeling like her lungs had not truly known air for weeks this pain had taken her over so. But she was groaning, barely eased and terrified. She'd never known pain like this, and she'd truly believed that there couldn't have been anything else to suffer. She felt so naive.

"C'mon April... you can do this... you're doing so well!"

Because the moment her contractions had reached a level she was unable to bear, making her scream out and beg to be allowed to stop, however absurd her request was, even with Lee gripping her hand so tight, encouraging her with every breath, there was but one person AJ could think of.

Had Phil been in this kind of pain? Had he had so many doubts as the agony took him over, to nothing, to nowhere? Had he wondered whether it had been worth it? Did he feel that he had suffered? Had he realised her cowardice in turning her back on him that day, and had he decided, even in his ignorance, that this was the way to make her suffer too? To have this unborn reminder tear her open from the inside, just to need her for every minute of every day of her guilt ridden and lonely life? Was her body's surrender a victory for him, so long ago forgotten by anyone that might have discovered him?

Through the waves of pain, AJ kept her eyes scrunched tight shut as she beared down, howling like a wounded animal, weeping and cursing as loud as she could. She tried to envisage Punk ever being here, that... soft smirk upon his pierced lips. But there was nothing and that made the poor delirious woman scream all the more. She knew she'd lost him, she'd felt it happen the very moment their child kicked excitedly inside of her. Little by little, the baby became less Phils and more of AJs own. _Just_ AJs. After all, there was no-one else to love this new innocent life and no-one could any more than the mother herself. What use was a dead father? Besides, the more she thought about, wishing she wouldn't, becoming more and more panicked during those sleepless nights in the darkness, that Phil would never have wanted to be a father. _That kind of man..._

It had seemed to get harder and harder to defend his memory as the life inside grew stronger. Because the truth was... well, AJ didn't know the truth. Punk himself hadn't wanted her to know. She knew nothing of the man her baby would have called "Daddy", nothing that could ever have promoted that the baby itself was wanted or loved. Was that even something he was capable of? Such questions drove the overly hormonal woman crazy in the dead of the night, the pillow that she scrunched angrily in her fist usually soaked with even angrier tears before first light. Because it always came back to the same thing. All her questions would never have answers - AJ and her baby were completely alone.

Except, with one last push that took all the strength AJ felt she was ever likely to possess again her life; tearing her shattered body right down the middle as she unashamedly screamed above the shouts of encouragement coming from the midwife, and louder still, from Lee, mother and baby were suddenly something different.

Because that first, lustful cry bouncing off the walls of the small, hot delivery suite, mother and...

"Oh... oh April... she's a girl!"

...and _daughter _were together. At last.

AJ burst into tears as the pain faded at a reluctant pace from her body, experiencing a great rush of simultaneous emotions she knew she'd never be able to dissect and understand. But still, the cocktail felt so good. It was over... and yet it had barely begun. She had a baby. Her own baby. Relief... nerves... anticipation... apprehension, it all coarsed through her. Lee, stepping back, so eager to catch the first glimpse of his niece, let his quivering arms surround his exhausted sister and help her sit up against the pillows, so that she might see her baby girl for the very first time. A special, wonderous, almost unbelievable moment she couldn't wait to live.

The new life, a bundle of eager flailing limbs, a symphony of the angriest and yet the sweetest wails as she waved around her little angry pink fists. Everything that was...

"Freya_..._" AJ whispered in wonderment, tears brimming in her eyes at the sheer beauty of her very own creation, laid down for the first time against the warmth of her mother's heaving chest, protected always by the embrace of her arms. A sob caught in her throat, her desperate eyes needing to take in every detail before they might disappear. The shock of dark hair, the tiny fingers, the perfectly set mouth, the little button nose.

"Oh April..." Lee beamed, stroking along the tiny hands in tearful awe. "...she's so beautiful."

AJ nodded eagerly, but could not take her eyes from her baby. Her heart was beating a little quicker and she knew at once why. She'd never felt such love for any living creature so instantly. This little thing... her daughter... was suddenly everything she needed in the world.

"Hello precious... I'm your mommy."

* * *

8:35 pm

_Freya Mendez _spent her first few hours of life in her mother's awed arms, nestled and warm in her blankets, her clothes soft against her skin, growing more beautiful every second as the angry pink colour died away to the most enviable peachy shade. Her entrance made, she was a quiet and content baby, and AJ was unsure she could ever stop falling in love with her. Lee, who had begun to cry again when AJ had certainly told the midwife what she intended to name her little girl and proudly watched as the name was scrawled on the identity tag and secured around Freyas tiny, wrinkled wrist; felt very much the same and couldn't stop hopping excitedly from foot to foot, grinning so wide it was as though his jaw might break. But even that wasn't going to stop him pleading for cuddle after cuddle from his new and favourite relative.

AJ tried not to feel that tug of guilt or panic the first time she so reluctantly delivered Freya to her uncles arms, but she did not take her eyes off the pair off them for a moment. As soon as such behaviour began she was chastising herself on the inside, hating that she was suspicious of Lee, Lee who had remained her only true support in this decision, but if Freya was never returned, how was AJ ever to be sure that the baby was truly hers? It was for the sake of this one life that she had left herself with little else. Without her baby, AJ had no purpose and no place. Freya Mendez was everything.

Her mother could have begun to feel lonely, tortured again by the delivery of the afterbirth and the sheer exhaustion that followed such loss of energy, but AJ could not bring herself to close her eyes, too captivated by Freyas long thick eyelashes, the way her little chest pumped up and down, proving that at last, she was no longer a dream, but here and real. There were to be no other visitors that day. AJ tried not to think on it. She was foolish to ever expected her dad, she had never known his support or his congratulations.

But again, as Lee sloped off, duty bound to make the call home and alert their father to their family addition whether or not he should find it within him to care, there was someone else that she could admit to missing. She bit it back however, even though Lee looked at her a few times in a way that might have said he understood if only AJ was brave enough to say the words. But that would have been too much and instead, feigning tiredness and pulling her new daughters little plastic cot over to her bedside before she snuggled down beneath the scratchy covers, she softly asked Lee to leave her alone with her daughter.

She felt guilty, but Lee rose without complaint and surrounded his sister in a hug, kissing her goodbye until the morning. As he passed through the door into the harsh light of the world, that look of understanding came again. The door clicked safely shut and AJ pulled herself up off the bed carefully, not wanting to reaggravate the pain of childbirth. She carefully lifted Freya into her arms, placing her on the bed against the sunken pillows and curling up protectively around her, almost relieved to feel her daughter lock her tiny hand but her fierce grip around one of her fingers. Smiling to herself, AJ bowed her head and kissed her daughter's little hand.

"There should be something I could say now baby, but there isn't. I wish he was here... just to see how beautiful you are... to love you like I do. But your daddy... he's gone and baby girl... if I knew where, I'd take you but I can't. Because all I've got is you... and I swear I'll try and be enough. I'll love you for your daddy too, I promise. No-one's going to hurt us now. It's just us. Just us..."


	38. Chapter 38

**Ok, just incase anyone is confused, I skipped through the pregnancy to the birth of baby Freya. AJ has named her baby after her mother, who as you can tell from not being in the story has passed away. Now if you count the 9 months for her pregnancy and the ****_3 months later_**** I have added into this chapter. It takes the total to a year from AJ was kidnapped by Jack Brooks. I hope that makes sense. Thanks for reading :)**

* * *

Baby Freya was the only one that was unaware and therefore unaffected by the hostility in which she lived. Her mother had tears in her eyes when she had first carried her new baby over the threshold into her home, because it was almost as if she could already feel Franks disappointment and disgust in her for even daring to return here with such a... perfect creature? Why could he not see that was what she was? Lee had been stuck to their sides like glue, holding his sister's cold, ever shaking hand fiercely in one of his own all the while. He reluctantly told AJ how angry he was at the name she had chosen for her daughter, feeling that Freyas very birth, to such a father, even in his mortal absence, disrespected both Frank and Freya, her late mother, as parents.

The words had cut at AJ like a blade in her throat. But she refused to hear them. As soon as she'd taken her daughter home, seeing the cold look Frank cast over the little baby writhing in her pink blankets, AJ wanted to back out of the door and run. This was so different now. Freya was no longer a bump she could protect in her own being. She was her own person and AJ was kept awake at night with the fear that she would no longer be able to protect her daughter. But there wasn't just Freya. There was Lee... the very reason she had never left this house, even in Franks hostility. Even if he could not care about her anymore, Lee still needed his dad's protection, because AJ was never going to forget Jack's threat, she was never going to truly believe it was not meant, especially now that Freya... Phils daughter was here.

AJ tried so hard not to think of her that way. Freya was still hers and hers alone. She had no-one else, she was her everything. Phil was not here to share in the need to protect her, he had no claim. Just thinking of him, AJ couldn't help but hold her snuggling daughter closer, momentarily terrified someone somewhere was going to tear her world from her very arms.

But as time went by, AJ got used to a normal life. Dragging herself up at 6 to sweep her daughter from her cot for a feed, bouncing her up and down on her lap, telling her how beautiful she was and how much she loved her as she babbled so sweetly away. She got used to the hostilities of her home life and concentrated on the good in her daughter, sharing in every joyous moment with her brother. But there was no denying how damn draining motherhood was. Lee watched it happen and took action immediately.

* * *

**Wednesday 10th November**

_3 Months Later..._

He expected to have a fight on his hands for simply suggesting he take his niece, by now three months old, for a walk around the town. AJ never seemed to be short of excuses to shout down such suggestions, but on this particular day, slumped, practically asleep on the sofa but for the flickering of her eyelids as she fought to stay awake, that she waved her daughter off to her brothers care.

Lee rushed off, wanting to be gone before AJ realised and therefore had no choice but to enjoy the time out being forced upon her. He struggled a little, carrying the folded buggy and his niece down the steep stone stairwell outside of their home, but that was the least of his problems. In the three months of Freyas life, Lee suddenly realised he had never mastered the unfolding of the buggy, there were way too many catches and clicks.

He paced round the crumpled structure, muttering and cursing to himself as he held the writhing baby, the process becoming no clearer as time crawled by.

One last half-hearted attempt at yanking the bloody thing together and he gave up with an angry, curse-filled yell, stamping his foot, which promptly caused the whole thing to collapse. All the commotion and volume unsettled Freya and really opened her lungs. Lee was terrified as he tried to soothe his niece, thinking that with the volume Freya wailed she was going to wake AJ, who'd come tearing out the house fully alert and screaming at him to return her baby to the house. It was a bloody prison these days and Lee wanted Freya out of there as much as possible. But what was he to do? He was helpless, screaming baby jiggling in his arms, with nothing free to put the bastard buggy up and finally escape this place.

Lee shivered gratefully as a man he couldn't place, came steadily out from the opposite direction and channelled a quizzical look in Lees direction. Recognising his helplessness, he dropped off the sidewalk and came towards him with a half smile on his lips. Without a word, he reached down to the collapsed buggy and pulled it up, wrenching it in all manner of directions until it clicked snugly, firmly into place. His smile too was firmer as he straightened up and gestured to the seat. Lee felt his face flame, but smiled gratefully, jiggling a quieting Freya still against his shoulder.

"Much appreciated mate." he said breathlessly, with a small embarrassed laugh.

He shrugged. "It's no problem. It's that..." He casually pointed to the little red catch just behind the seat. "...one you gotta press in."

"I'll try and remember that." Lee smiled with a small nod as he crouched down to deliver Freya to the seat and carefully strap her in. The stranger winced, rubbing his shoulder. Lee frowned in concern. "Are you alright?"

"Battle scars, it's alright." he replied, with a light laugh.

"God, I thought I had it rough."

"Yeah well, can't be easy can it, not with your..." He eyed the colour of the blankets Lee tucked up beneath Freyas chin and finished confidently, "...daughter needing you 24/7."

Lee guffawed as he straightened up and gripped the handles, the wheels rattling against the pavement as he pushed forward. "Daughter? Oh God, she's not mine!"

His companion's face creased in concentrated confusion. "She isn't?"

"No... bloody hell, I'm only 18! Freyas my niece. She's my sister's baby."

"Oh right!" he laughed airily, the lines relaxing. "It's just... I can see the family resemblance." He gazed between the baby and her guardian as he walked to Lees pace.

"Can you?" Lee questioned, evidently amused as he leant over the buggy to gaze down at Freya.

He chuckled. "As babies go, that one's pretty cute."

Lee beamed proudly. "She is, isn't she? Looks like my sister April..."

His saviour almost stumbled up the kerb. "April? April Mendez?"

"Well, yeah, I should hope so. Why d'you know her?"

Lee watched him claw back his whitening lip. "Don't suppose I do, no. But that'd make you... Lee, wouldn't it? Her baby brother?"

Lee narrowed his eyes, fear and suspicion prickling inside all at once and making his chest tighten as it swelled protectively. "Yeah." he said curtly. "And you are...?"

"So it was you that made all those appeals?" he pressed, ignoring Lees question. "With your dad?"

Pain reared now in Lees chest and he held on to the buggy tighter, his instinct telling him to walk a little faster.

"Lee?!"

"Look, I don't know who you are, but-" he called back, knowing that he was gonna accelerate his pace easily. "-we don't talk about that!"

"Does she?"

Lee froze. He hadn't followed him. He'd stopped dead, several paces back and he could tell in his tone he was genuinely desperate to know. But something was making his neck prickle uncomfortably. He whirled round, unnerved by the shimmering of his pleading emerald eyes. He backed protectively up against the buggy and demanded; "You're one of them, aren't you?"

He fell back half a step, dumbfounded, his smile evaporated. His neck jerked as he shook his head. "Can I not just be a guy?"

Shaking fearfully, Lee shook his head fiercely. "How can a guy just know what happened to my sister?"

He hunched his shoulders. "Any guy that reads the paper, Lee."

"Oh, so what are you, a journalist?"

"No!"

But Lee wasn't listening, turning round and pulling the buggy straight to wheel it off. "Well, I'm sorry, thank you for your help and everything, but I don't wanna answer your questions!"

"Lee, please!"

"No! I don't even know you... what do you want?"

"I just... I wanna know she's happy."

"My sister is fine. She's got me and she's got her baby. Whoever you are, she doesn't need reminders of Jack Brooks or anything that happened to her that week! Now please, leave us alone!"


	39. Chapter 39

**Here's another chapter seeing as though the last one wasn't long enough and it ended a bit.."Wait-What?" Thank you for reading :)**

* * *

Lee was still somewhat shaken as he sat, slumped in the little café he found, rocking Freya back and forth across the same inches of floor in the buggy. His cup of coffee had gone cold long ago, but Lee had barely noticed. He was still trying to fathom whether or not that whole episode had really happened. How did "nice guy coming to help out hopeless babysitter" suddenly turn into such a personal inquisition? Had he really been a journalist? Lee didn't think he seemed the type and he'd dealt with enough that did all the while that AJ was pregnant. None of them had even tried to appear helpful before firing their questions, and they'd been a lot more blunt in their lines too. This guy had seemed a bit... frantic. And he was right, enough stories had been run about AJ and the promise of Freyas birth for anyone to at least think they knew the circumstances. But, they were trying so hard to forget. Freya was just an innocent baby, and the last thing AJ wanted was to tell her daughter the exact circumstances in which she had been conceived.

On her better days, Lee would still pass AJs bedroom and hear her murmuring to Freya about Phil. Her voice was strong, but Lee could never miss the waver. He began to wonder whether the details were fading from his sister's frazzled mind, whether or not she was making Phil out to be better to her daughter, simply because there was so little of the truth to remember. It saddened him, but it made him even more determined to keep his beloved sister and her precious baby safe in some sort of normality.

Lees hand finally curled around his coffee and he spluttered on the stone cold liquid, raising his gaze only as he struggled to catch his breath - and coming eye to eye with his non-journalist inquisitor. He smiled awkwardly and took a nervous step forward, obviously waiting for Lee to leap up and go at his ankles with Freyas buggy. When he saw he did not move, he walked a little more confidently. His hand curled around the back of the vacant seat opposite him.

"Mind if I...?"

Lee shrugged. "Free country."

A few moments of silence overcame them as they sat together.

Then he decided to break it, tired of tugging so awkwardly at his hands, never finding the words he felt he needed.

"I'm really sorry if I... I didn't mean to freak you out just now."

Lee softened a little, but needed to know; "So what _do _you mean? How do you know my sister?"

He clawed at his lip. "I'm not sure."

"How are you not sure? You either know her or you don't."

His gaze strayed to the buggy, where Freya was sleeping soundly. "People change." he mumbled pointedly.

"She's still AJ." Lee argued stubbornly, placing his hand on one of the handles. "She's been through a lot but she's still..."

He nodded accepting, lip quivering as he found he could not take his eyes from the baby. "She's a bit of a miracle isn't she? I didn't think April could..."

"Is that something else you apparently read about in the papers?" he demanded sharply.

"She told me herself..."

Lee slumped back. "Who **are **you?"

"No-one that matters." his guilty companion replied simply, shoulders hunched. "April's been through a lot I know, but as long as she's happy with... her baby and..."

Lee cut off his whispery contemplation with a shake of his head. "April and Freya." he stated. "That's it."

His lips fell into a confused frown. "Well, what about...?"

"The father? God knows. AJ thought they'd killed him."

The man reeled and, hardly able to look Lee in the eye, mumbled, "I bet she did."

Lee leant forward, eyes narrowed as he tried to fathom his company. "Where are you getting all this from? You're not a journalist, OK, but you know April? How? I just don't get it."

"Trust me kid-" he answered softly, giving him a half smile as he looked up. "-it's better that way."

But Lee was not convinced and fell into a concentrated silence for a while. Then his whole body jerked as he straightened up, as if he'd been struck by lightning, or worse, a cruel inspiration.

"Did you know him? Did you know Phil?"

He kept his gaze fixed to the table, lazily drumming his tattooed fingers against the table edge. They were promptly frozen as he absorbed Lees question. After a moment's utter stillness, he shook his head, almost smirking as he kept his gaze fixed down.

"So it's _just _April?"

"Yeah. Just April."

"Well, let me go get her. Tell me your name and-"

Lee was already halfway up, moving out from behind the little table to grasp the handles of Freyas buggy, but his companion knocked back his chair just as quickly and lurched for Lees arm.

"She doesn't need to see me, Lee."

Smiling slightly, he replied; "Don't be daft, I'm sure she'd-"

"Trust me on this one yeah? I shouldn't even be here..."

Lee frowned, pulling his arm free. "So where _should _you be?"

He gave him a weak smile. "I've never known the answer to that question. Least she has eh?" And then he sank down into a crouching position in front of the buggy, pulling back Freyas ruffled blankets a little way to admire her sleeping face. "God, she's beautiful. What did you say her name was?"

"Freya."

"After your mom right? I like it, it's cute."

"Yeah well, if you'll excuse me..." And he pushed a little against the handles to encourage the wheels forward. It took him a moment to compose himself and actually get up, but he refused to clear the way for him.

"Lee, please..."

"**No!**" he snapped back. "You're freaking me out. Nice guy with no name knowing everything about my sister? It isn't right, so unless you're gonna tell me who you are and what the **Hell** it is you want, _please _get out of my way!"

His shoulders sagged in defeat and he did move out of his way, straight out the door, a determined and sullen stride as he headed in the opposite direction. He did not look back, but Lee however, slightly shaken, could not stop his own eyes tracking him as he steered his niece safely through the other side of the road, towards home.

* * *

His hands shook dangerously as he fumbled to lift the cracked receiver from the cradle. The worn piece of paper he had so viciously pinned to the noticeboard so that he might read off the numbers had obviously been unfolded and refolded a million times. The madness in his eyes made it easy to believe he in fact knew the number off by heart, but at the moment he was too staggered and too damn angry to recall it. He stabbed viciously at the digits, every key sinking obediently beneath his touch.

His stance too was agitated as the ringing tone gave out, muttering curses beneath his breath as he waited, shifting his weight from foot to foot, feeling himself get more and more furious. And that wasn't good. Such moods terrified him. He didn't know how to escape them when they descended. They controlled him. Everyone had been controlling him.

There was a familiar crackling on the line and he bit furiously into his lip, leaning heavily against the phone itself, propping his elbow up on the top and practically tearing his clawed hand through his hair as he registered the unwilling breath being expelled on the other end of the line. He knew well that this was the only recognition he was ever likely to receive, but now, that alone was enough to make his anger explode.

"You said she'd moved on, you bastard! You'd said she'd _forget_."

"She will." came the curt and quiet reply.

"Don't piss me about." he snarled threateningly. "I don't like being lied to Frank and that's what you're doing!"

"And what are you _doing_, Brooks?" Frank spat back furiously. "We agreed... April gets on with her life and you **never** come back! Not here... not ever. _Well?_"

Phil was silenced, slumping heavily against the phone as he fought for the words. "I just... I wanted to know she..."

"Well now you _do_, don't you? You **know! **Happy?"

The anger rose once more, and Punk rammed his fist repeatedly into the side of the cradle, not caring for the way his knuckles throbbed, too angry for anything besides anger itself. "Happy? How can I be happy? Why didn't you tell me-?"

"Nothing to tell!"

"Bullshit! Because sometime this last year Frank, your _infertile _daughter had a baby! And it's Uncle Lee strolling around this miserable little place with the kid. Where's the husband? Where's the great love you had me so convinced April would find? She isn't gonna forget me is she? It doesn't matter whether you want her to, or whether she wants to, that kid... Freya... she's mine isn't she?"

Silence.

"_Isn't _she?"

"There's no place for you in Aprils family, Punk."

"Oh, shut _up_. She's got my _daughter _in that house!"

"And you should still be in _mine_. In **Puerto Rico! **_Remember_?"

"**Fuck** you!" Punk hissed. "That kid's _mine_... it doesn't matter what we said, I should be with her!"

"Yeah?" Frank questioned in callous mocking. "So when she's screaming her head off at three in the morning, you'll know what to do will you? You'll know how to make her bottle, to soothe her like her mom does?"

"Whatever, I could never be any worse to that baby than you were to April."

"You'll stay _away_."

At his cold warning, interest prickled within Punk. "Still no better then Frank? Oh and I bet I can guess why. Because with Freya in your house, you never get away from me do you, what I was to April..."

"All you are to her is a dead body, a _nightmare_..."

Punk reeled angrily, not wanting to believe the likelihood of such truth as the handset, by now slippery with sweat, shook violently in his fist. "Well we have to see about that one won't we?"

"I **swear **Brooks, you come anywhere near this house, I'll..."

A humoured breath escaped Punks' tight lips as he tore down the scrap of paper with the number on and scrunched it in his fist. "I'm sure you will, Frank. Don't forget to smile when you open the door though, on my way over now."


	40. Chapter 40

**Ok this is another short one but I will make up for it by posting again later. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)**

* * *

Why did everyone seem so on edge? AJ was pacing the lounge, warmed by the heat of the burning fire as she held her little daughter close against her chest, rubbing her back in that soothing motion through her rumpled pink rompersuit. Freya was the most content of all the occupants living in the house. Frank had sloped off, face like thunder when his phone had rang, but she had learnt long ago not to care, Freya was her only focus. Well, unless you considered Lee, and AJ was trying not to. She'd gone down to help Lee lift the buggy up the stairwell, and Lee, he'd been all over the place, hardly able to lift the blasted thing, flustered, agitated and weak.

"Lee?" she had murmured in concern, leaving Freya in the buggy as it stood in the hallway, only able to grip his shoulders in her hands to keep him steady because her little brother was so reluctant to have her put her arms around him. "What's the matter? You've gone really pale... what happened?"

Lee had shrugged her off lazily, mumbling; "I don't know." before rushing off to the kitchen on the pretence of "Freya needs her bottle."

And so the littlest Mendez had suckled hungrily at her next feed, one of the only things she had the power to ensure really relaxed her mother. AJ fell more and more in love with her daughter for these times they spent together. She always snuggled down comfortably into her arms, never fussed, her wide and captivating eyes always open and shining so lovingly. There was a connection that needed no explanation, and in such moments, all the pain AJ had suffered was worthwhile.

Right now, everything else was forgotten, mother and daughter left together in this, their own cosy little cocoon. Lee had decided to pop over to a friends house, which he could probably do with some time away from this mad house. Whatever had shaken Lee earlier when he had taken Freya out, AJ hadn't heard a word of it, and she knew he understood how she panicked, given all that she had gone through. They didn't keep secrets, and Lee couldn't lie either, he was rubbish at it. So AJ was forced to recognise that there was no need to panic, that all their was to do today was cradle her baby girl.

But her contentment was disturbed as she heard Frank shuffle erratically in the hall, cursing hotly to himself as he seemed to make more noise than was possible gathering himself together. Frowning, confused and yes, suspicious, AJ bent her knees, having stopped pacing so comfortably round with her daughter in her arms, and placed the bottle on the low coffee table before moving quietly over to the door, pulling it open and slipping into the hall. She didn't call out for Franks attention, she simply stood there, gently rocking her baby. She waited for him to notice her, and was more unnerved when he seemed to do just that in no time at all. She'd gotten too used to her father looking so disappointed through her.

"Just off out."

His gestures too were erratic, and the way he was holding himself couldn't have made it anymore obvious he needed to be out the door. And just for once, the suspicion that burned inside AJ didn't say he was so desperate to avoid her and the presence of little Freya. Something was going on. Another dodgy deal? Another run-in? Was she really supposed to care quite so much?

She nodded jerkily, wanting to appear nonplussed. "Right. ok. Well, I'll... go finish the feed then shall I?"

"Yeah. Can't have the little one going hungry now can we?"

AJ felt herself jolt, but she prayed Frank hadn't noticed. He didn't say things about Freya, not now she was here, he was always too preoccupied with ignoring the fact she existed at all. Something was certainly wrong. But that was a separate world now, and not one AJ could actively involve herself in with her own baby to care for. But still, when she heard the front door slam, Freyas cooling bottle held idly in her hand again, she couldn't help but be drawn to the windows. But before she could even entertain the idea of pulling apart the slats of the blinds to track her father, she heard raised voices - his.

"You're not coming near her! I told you-!"

"Get the fuck _off _me, this isn't your call!"

At that reply, AJ froze. As her blood ran cold, her body went heavy and she was sure she felt Freya slip from her grasp a little. But to keep her hold was her maternal instinct; it was sheer madness that had her wrenching apart the blinds, the slats cutting into her fingertips in her haste. That could not have been the voice she had heard. It wasn't possible, it just-

But the image that met her sent her reeling, lifting her daughter closer, needing to protect this precious life as she mumbled to herself, trying to reason it all out. But she knew the way she had begun to shake so violently so suddenly proved her eyes had not deceived her and now there was only one thing she could allow herself to do. She rushed straight to the front door, her only free hand fumbling to grasp the lock and turn it so that she might stumble out onto the stairwell.

And still he was there, Phil Brooks. No torturous figment of her butchered imagination this time. Really, truly there, and fighting his way past the angered barricade that was Frank. In fact, they both looked furious... at each other.

AJ could feel that old panic swirling desperately inside her. It was building and building and still she didn't understand it. Because madness itself was playing out before her very eyes. And madness itself didn't know it. Because she was barely there to be seen.

Punk shoved Frank roughly back and yelled; "You might have thought you were controlling me, Frank, fuck I did too... you might be used to having a hold on your daughter. But not _mine_, you get that? **Not **mine!"

And as he whirled round, determined to reach what he now knew was his, those beautiful, lively eyes found AJ, frozen at the top of the stairwell. And somehow, he was stunned just at the sight of her, falling back mid step, lips quivering as he fought for the words. Similarly, AJ felt a painful lump swell in her throat, hot tears welled in her eyes. He looked so well... so _alive_... and she'd broken her heart for him. His was whole... still beating. And just knowing that was true, he looked more... more beautiful than ever. And the fact it was obvious he was so terrified to see her too was almost comforting.

AJ didn't feel in control of her own body as she moved heavily down the stairwell, her filled eyes never moving from his. He almost flinched as she came across the damp pavement and slowed up in front of him. Bravely, she lifted Freya up against her shoulder and smiled.

"Hello Phillip."

He bit awkwardly into his lip, unable to trust himself to mean a smile he might return. AJ half understood and, shaking still, turned to her furious looking father.

"Dad, take Freya inside will you? She'll get cold out here."

Frank didn't move, lips thin and angry as he glared ever suspiciously at Punk, who was painfully captivated by the simple shape of the baby.

"_Please?_"

Growling beneath his breath, Frank stepped forward and took his granddaughter in his arms for the first time. He carried her back into the house, glancing venomously over his shoulder at the pair left standing there in the dreary street, no closer, no further apart, silent but for the thousand words they might say if only the other's presence seemed real. The front door clicked shut and even that made AJ jump and look nervously over her shoulder, hardly knowing if she had the nerve to turn around and face him again. In contrast, he couldn't take his eyes from her. But it didn't mean the words were anymore available.

But they would have to talk, wouldn't they?

And Frank, he was watching them for every second, having placed Freya hurriedly in her cot in AJs room and rushed straight back down to the lounge, wrenching apart the slats in the blinds as suspiciously as his daughter had done.

Still without words, it was all AJ could do to shuffle forwards. In awe of her bravery, Punk met her halfway and suddenly realising she was in touching distance again after so desperately long, he let out half a relieved breath and folded his arms around her. Her body seemed to drop forward willingly, head bowed against his chest as he drew her as close as he could, taking in the sweet scent of her hair, oh God, such simple things.

"It's so good to see you." he whispered.

And he thought he felt her laugh weakly as she shivered in his arms, but a moment later, he realised... she was crying, hardly able to muffle the sound.

"Hey..." he pleaded as he pushed her gently back, tilting up her chin with his fingertips and taking in the sight of her flushed face, sparkling with tears. "...please don't do this."

AJ flinched as he began to wipe the tears away with the pad of his thumb and pulled back and wiped them all away clumsily with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry, you're right. Go. Just go!"


	41. Chapter 41

**Here we go as promised..something a bit more meaty. Thanks you for reading :)**

* * *

As soon as the words had left her mouth, AJ tried to move past Punk before more tears spilled over for him to see, but he was staggered by her request and couldn't let it be executed, reaching out for her elbow and pulling her back round to face him. "What? April, you know I can't... we've got things to talk about!"

"Oh yeah!" she laughed mockingly. "Because I'm always standing round having conversations with dead men! First my dad, now you!"

"That's not important!"

"Not to you! But then I shouldn't be surprised should I? You were the one supposed to be dead on the floor while I was breaking my fuckin' heart for you! And you know what, you look in bloody good health for a dead man! Where have you been?"

Shifting his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot, Punk stared at the floor, guilt raging. "Puerto Rico."

AJs laughter was higher now, more strained. "Oh, this gets better and better . What have you been doing? Working the bars, topping up your tan? Oh my God-" she fumed in frustration. "-you're **just **like him! Did you never care either?"

"Look, we can have this conversation a million damn times if you want, but please... don't do this _now!_"

"Well, what _should _I be doing?" she demanded furiously as the tears burnt still.

"Tell me about Freya."

"Why?" she pressed suspiciously, her watery eyes narrowed. "She's nothing to do with you!"

"No? Because I seem remember this one time _you_ threw the Morning After Pill at me because _you _couldn't get pregnant!"

"You had a damn nerve even handing it to me!"

"So I saw. The dates seem pretty shifty to me. I mean, you either watched me get _shot _and then asked someone, anyone around for a bit of an ego boost-"

He didn't seem fazed as he had to recover from the hard striking he got across the side of the face.

"-**or **she's mine."

"No!" AJ argued, her stomach twisted with nausea. "Freya's **mine!**I carried her-"

"-you decided to keep her-"

"That's right." she replied, eyes flaring dangerously. "I decided to keep **my **daughter because... I felt I owed you something. Mind you, this was back when I thought you were dead."

"What, and now I'm not, you don't owe me anything?"

"No, I don't."

"Not even time with my daughter?"

"She's a three month old baby. **My **baby. You don't know what time is. You don't know how it's gone by."

"So tell me."

The softness of his tone was calming, however much AJ wished it could infuriate her. But still she cried, the pain of every lonely memory swelling in her throat.

"The night she was born... I stayed up all night, talking to her about you, terrified if I didn't get it all out then, I'd forget. I brought her into this world, so I wouldn't forget you Phil and its cost me everything I've ever known."

AJ hated how he didn't seem to look confused, only guilty. It made the tears come thicker and faster and her anger was not ceasing.

"My dad barely looks at me. He won't talk to me, but I have to stay with him in that house because of you, because of the evil you came from!"

"What?"

"When you... when they shot you, you were just... covered in blood, not moving and I... I don't know, I just wanted Jack to pay. For hurting you, for hurting us. But he said if I didn't keep my mouth shut about what had happened to you, he'd be after Lee too. I've been trying to protect him and Freya from every danger since we came home. It hasn't been easy being me y'know, with Freya. The gossip mill didn't stop once you could see I was pregnant. Everyone worked out it'd come out the abduction and they all just assumed I was raped."

Punk flinched, the colour draining from his face as his eyes locked on hers.

"I wanted to say how it was between you and me, but it was hard enough looking my own dad in the eye, knowing I was going ahead and having the baby. He was so disgusted. He still is, and Freya suffers for it. Just now... that was the first time he's ever held her. He pretends she's not here, just because she's part of you and you... come from such a bad world. My daughter doesn't deserve to be tainted."

"And that's what I do is it? As her dad, through no fault of my own, I taint her?"

"She's just a **baby**. She needs to be _protected_."

Punk looked stung. "That's all I tried to do. You know that."

"But you failed me, Phil."

"Why?" he demanded feverishly. "Because I'm not dead when you thought I was?"

AJ swallowed down the rage and fought to keep her voice level as she shook her head. "No. Because while I was going through _Hell_, wanting to be left with a piece of you, you were down in Puerto Rico, not thinking enough of me to let me know you weren't dead. I _grieved _for you every day I was carrying her. Every time I look at her, I try and pretend I don't see you, that I don't miss you. But what is there to miss Phil? I don't even know you."

"Didn't I tell you that? Not worth remembering."

"You can't say that." AJ protested tearfully.

"Why not?"

"Because I **love **you."

Punk tried to dismiss her with a soft laugh, but found the sound was not true. He looked at her and saw sincerity. And suddenly he was terrified, and couldn't say a word.

At his silence, AJ shook her head in staggered disbelief. "Why are you surprised?"

"Well, you just said you don't... know me... you always said you hardly even _liked _me... how can you...?"

"Because they laid **your** daughter on my chest after God knows how many hours of the worst pain I have ever known in my life and said... "Congratulations Miss Mendez, you've got a perfectly healthy baby girl." Something I was never supposed to have... something _you _gave me, and I looked at her... and I loved you."

He bit guiltily into his lip. "I'm so sorry."

AJ shook her head fiercely. "We've already established you're not. After everything we've gone through for each other, you never thought enough of me."

"That's not true." he protested pathetically. "Why do you think I'm here now, April? I was going... _insane_. I had to see you, to know that you were alright... happy, I don't know."

"You're a fool, _Punk_, you know that? The day they told me I was pregnant was the day you were supposed to have been **killed!** Can you even imagine what that did to me? It tore me up inside because I... I didn't know how you would have felt about it, what I was supposed to do. I didn't feel brave enough, Dad wanted me to have an abortion. Lee... he's been the only one willing to understand what I thought I was feeling for you. He told me to do what was right for the baby... _your _baby. And I thought she was the last piece of you. I needed you... how could I destroy her?"

He stumbled over the words. "For what it's worth, I'm glad you didn't."

"But you don't know anything! You don't know _her_."

"Then just give me that chance."

"But I _can't_." AJ insisted emotionally as her tears took a stronger hold. "She's my baby... I can't let her be hurt."

Punks facial muscles crumpled in confusion and hurt. "But I'd _never_-"

But the flare in AJs brimming eyes challenged him. "I don't believe you! You broke my heart and I'm **not **going to let the same happen to Freya, do you understand me? My daughter is better than your promises!"

"You really haven't forgotten have you?" he noted sadly.

"Didn't I say that at the time?" she bit back viciously.

He nodded. "And then you walked out."

"Don't you **dare**!" she shrieked painfully. "Don't you _dare _berate me for not being able to... I heard the gunshot you know! I heard it! And the silence was the worst. I was on the stairs, curled up like a baby, grieving for you! But I... I pulled myself up and went back to you, nothing but the guilt weighing me down! I held on to you for so long, but... what with you being dead and all, you wouldn't have a clue about that would you?"

Punk nibbled guiltily at his lip. "No."

"I thought I was going mad when I felt it, but it makes sense now doesn't it?"

"Felt what?"

All at once ashamed of the admission, AJ turned her head away and mumbled; "I kissed you goodbye." Shivering, she stepped up and pressed two of her cold fingertips into the warmth of his neck, feeling his pulse humming away in his throat beneath her touch. "Just there. And that's what I felt. But Jack's lot dragged me away before I could convince myself there was even a chance. I thought you were gone and I thought it was **my **fault."

Punk caught her hand as she pulled it back, holding it fiercely. "No sweetheart, no way. You didn't ask for it to work out like this."

"So why did it?" she pushed tearfully.

But the words caught in his throat. _How was he supposed to tell her the truth?_

"Why didn't you think enough of me to let me know Phil? I've been here before you know, with my dad and I thought I understood. But just _once _you could have come to me, put your arms around me and told me everything was gonna be alright. Why wasn't I worth that?"

"I... I would have tried, but I didn't think that was what you wanted..."

AJ fell back, her mouth agape she was so stunned. He may as well have punched her in the chest. "_What?_"

"I didn't know did I? About Freya... I didn't know what you were going through!"

"I thought they'd **killed** you, what do you _think _I was going through?"

And as she folded so miserably, choking on her sobs, Punk held her close again, rocking her instinctively and murmuring into her hair; "I'm sorry April, I'm so sorry. But I'm still here... and... it's gonna be alright."

* * *

Taking in his words, AJ straightened up and smiled weakly, tiredly shaking her head as she stepped back, hardly believing his touch. "I don't think so." she said sadly.

"April-" Punk pleaded, lurching forward for her hand again, but she backed out of his way, dropping down off the pavement into the road.

"I said goodbye, Phil. I don't have anything else to say to you."

He bit hard into his trembling lip, and AJ could not miss the sparkle of tears in his deep eyes, although she pretended not to see.

"You never thought that I've got more to say to you?"

She remained silent for a moment, before mumbling; "I need to get to work."

"What about Freya?"

AJ whirled round, her eyes narrowed in suspicious contempt. "She's not **your **concern."

Punk kept to her anxious pace easily. "You don't seem that concerned yourself."

"Dad'll look after her." she snapped back.

"Yeah? This the same dad you said doesn't hold her, look at her, bother to recognise she even _exists_?"

"Back off!" she growled warningly, twisting her hip to face him and force him back with her hands, angered enough to push him quite roughly.

Punk took the shove, but his features were icy as he straightened up and returned; "Alright, I will. But I'm not leaving April, no way."

She shrugged nonchalantly as she stepped ahead of him, by now desperate to be halfway across the the road and away from him. "Course not - you never were." But the words seem to ignite something within her and she stopped, whirling round in accusation to face him. "Do you even know what it's _like _to grieve for someone?"

He blinked, a little stunned, as if the question was too much. But at last, he said quietly; "Miss them you mean?"

"Yeah." she replied softly, hardly believing he had chosen to understand what she meant. "Because I spent every day feeling so sick that I... oh it doesn't matter." And waving her hand dismissively, she turned away and began to walk off, too tired to try and make sense of whatever it was she was trying to say to him.

But he called her back. "Will you even let me say I missed you too?"

She puffed out a doubting breath and hunched her shoulders. "Why bother when it's just a lie?"

"You don't believe that."

AJs glossy lips twisted unfavourably. "**Don't** tell me what I believe! Don't you **dare**! Let's not forget Phil, I _believed _you were dead and here you are, looking good for it! Have you never even thought about the last time I saw you? I have nightmares, I wake up crying harder than the baby, thinking I should have done something different, put you out of your misery when you asked! But I see now I did the right thing because you... you've been keeping yourself warm on Puerto Rico coastlines, never once thinking I deserve the same!"

"You don't know what I think." he shot back defensively.

"I don't think I ever have. How well can anyone really know you, Phil?"

"Well enough to give birth to my daughter it seems."

"She _isn't_ **your **daughter."

Reading the fire in her eyes, Punk fell silent as he contemplated her words. But it wasn't long before he understood her defensiveness.

"What do you think I'm gonna do April?" he questioned with a soft interest.

She laughed bitterly, stroking intrusive strands of hair from her eyes. "I don't think I've ever really known the answer to that question have I? I'm just the woman you miraculously got pregnant... the one you lied to."

"You think I wanted to do that?"

"Yes." she spat, without hesitation. "Since you're asking, yes I do. **I **was the one with the guts to climb over that barrier, I could have let go! But I didn't, and I didn't because of what you said to me! And I bet you don't even remember!"

"Of course I remember!" he snapped hotly, guilt colouring his neck. "I said I'd go with you, alright, I know!"

"So why **didn't **you? Can't you see what we could have had all this time?"

Guilt silenced him heavily, as if he were gagged.

AJ tilted her head and let her devastated eyes travel lightly over him. "Maybe that doesn't suit you eh? Your own little girl, and some ridiculous woman that can't stop herself loving you even though you... oh God, I don't know what you did." She wiped her brimming eyes. "But I know I hate you for it." In a tearful whisper she added; "She had her daddy all along... how could you?"

"I didn't _know_."

"Well, now you **do**, don't you?" she retorted angrily. "And you're not _having _her... not ever!"

Punk shook his head in confusion as he tried to step closer to her. He saw her lurch back, but managed to grip her shoulders before she was out of reach. "Why are you so sure I want to steal her away?"

"Because you never cared what I wanted. She's **mine! **She's only ever been mine and you are never going to do this to her too!"

He sighed as he let his hold drop, licking his lips and rubbing his bearded chin nervously as he stared at the ground for a moment. Then, the will summoned, he lifted his head and those piercing green eyes locked on to AJs filling own. "Darlin', if you don't trust me to do right by that kid then tell me, why did you have her?"

"She's my baby..." she replied in a tearful whisper.

"Mine too. But you knew that long before I did. If you really think so little of me, then why have you given your life to _my _baby?"

All AJ could manage for several moments was a whimper.

"I... I wasn't ready..."

Patiently, Punk counted the silence away before he decided to push. "For what?"

AJs neck jerked, and she looked hurt as she looked straight at him. Punk shivered inwardly, certainly getting the feeling he was already supposed to know.

"To lose you. You made sense to me. Freya was the closest I'd ever get to that again. I can't lose her too, I _can't_!"

"You won't! April, I don't know the first thing about babies... what are you expecting me to know about my own? I just... I want to... be here. I'm not gonna steal her from you, I just want to know her... the both of you."

AJs bottom lip trembled as she listened to him, rather desperately insisting; "You mustn't hurt her."

And Punks protest was ready in his throat, but as he opened his mouth, he seemed to choke on it. Because he suddenly saw in those beautiful eyes, as panicked as he had ever seen them, he realised she wasn't just commanding him, she was speaking from the experience of being hurt so badly by someone she had pretty much been forced to trust. Him. He'd... broken her... torn her life apart, just so she might hold the memory of their one turbulent week together in her arms and sense a future. The woman was a devoted mother... devoted to his daughter no less. Did he really have the right to ask for more?

Slipping his fingertips beneath her chin, he tilted it up and bravely pressed his lips to hers before bowing his head against hers, his shivering hands sliding to hold her jaw and force her to stay against him. He felt a regretful lump swell in his throat and sway his voice dangerously. "Just _once _sweetheart please, believe me. I never meant to hurt you. I'm so sorry."

Gasping for a breath of air that was not quite so sharp, Punk turned away, barely knowing where he was going to go, but understanding in AJs pain that Frank was right - this family held no place for him.

But AJ was suddenly feverish for one more moment of such closeness, just so she might really remember its realism, her wrecked brain throbbing to discover a reason to stop another separation. She was left with one solution, which is called out in a desperate gabble.

"Don't you want to meet your daughter then?"


	42. Chapter 42

**Thank you for reading and reviewing. You guys are awesome :)**

* * *

Slowly, carefully, Punk turned around, almost convinced already that he had heard her wrong. He smiled daringly and replied shakily; "Of course I do."

AJ stepped back and came up the kerb. "Well, come on then." And as she went past him she pressed her hand into his, gripping it tightly. But Punk hung back, shaking a little.

"Are you sure... really?"

"Not about me Phil." she replied simply. "It's about her. If you're really here, then she deserves to meet you... know that at least some of the things I told her about you are true."

Amused, Punk smiled. "You ever know they were true?"

Bowing her head, she giggled to herself, before she turned her head and looked back at him. "I believed them, yeah."

Accepting this, he looked to the ground, releasing an uneasy breath.

"You're nervous aren't you?"

"I feel so stupid..."

"Well, don't. Babies are scary prospects. I'm sorry I never gave you the choice."

He said nothing, but found he couldn't help but hold her hand a little tighter, even as she dropped into a crouch at the top of the stairwell and recovered a front door key from under the mat. She pulled herself up again and pulled in a brave breath as she pushed open the door. She could feel Punks resistance.

"Come on..." she urged softly, holding on to lead him through to the lounge. Frank was stood by the window, facing them, looking as stony faced and disgusted as ever.

"Where's Freya?" AJ questioned bravely, never releasing Punks hand.

Frank ignored her, his angry eyes narrowed at him, his vicious words directed at his daughter. "What the Hell do you think you're doing?"

"She's got a right to meet him, Dad."

"She doesn't need _him_."

"That's beside the point. Whether you like it or not, he's her father. And I think you both need to deal with that." Feeling still how Punk was shaking, she dislodged their hands and turned to him with a smile. "Sit down. I'll go get her."

"No, don't wake her u-"

But AJ dismissed him with a simple shake of the head. "She's not going to mind when she sees it's you. Really."

She went off up the stairs. Frank listened to her rushed footsteps and stepped forward. "She's only humouring you."

Punk returned a tight smile, shoulders hunched. "She can do what she likes. Whereas you... you're never gonna get away from it, are you? The fact that Freya's **my **daughter... the fact April never even tried to deny it."

"She despises you."

"Yeah, I reckon she does. And I don't blame her either. No, I blame **you **and if April ever knew the truth-"

"I did it for her!" Frank snarled warningly.

"And what about Freya, eh? You've had a year Frank, and you've never said a word. Do you know what it was like turning up here and realising your Lee was pushing my **daughter** around in a buggy? _Mine?_"

"You were never **supposed **to turn up here!"

"Well I'd say it's a good job I did." Punk hissed. "You can't do this to her anymore. Freya's here because April wants her, and you're not punishing them for that."

Hearing the stairs creak again, Punk stepped back and tried to busy himself with any occupation that didn't involve the immense need to rip out Franks throat.

"Here she is." AJ announced softly, forcing the lounge door further open with a nudge of her hip. Flinching, his heart beginning to pound so damn nervously against his ribs, he whirled round, somehow taken aback by the sight of such a tiny little being, his daughter, nestled in AJs arms. She levelled her head and smiled across at Punk, evidently amused. "You don't need to look so scared... she doesn't bite yet." Stroking gently through Freyas mop of dark hair, AJ knew she'd cause the baby to stir further, but soothed her easily as she began to grizzle, by stepping closer to Punk and murmuring; "Look who's here, angel..."

Summoning all his nerve, Punk looked down on the baby again, and felt a jolt in the centre of his chest. Because for the first time, he was looking at her, knowing he saw a part of him that AJ had wanted so much to keep alive. She'd said it herself, he'd been the one to give her something she thought she was never going to have. And something so innocent, so beautiful, knew nothing of the worst of him. In this one, untarnished life, there was some real hope.

Frank wasn't willing to share in such a tender family moment, and casting dark looks over all of them, stormed from the house. Punk felt the intense pull of hatred simmer in his chest as he watched AJ shudder, but she held on to Freya and refused to let anything spoil the moment she had long ago been so convinced she would never see.

"_...Daddy._"

Punk spluttered on a nervous laugh as he reached out to touch his daughter for the first time, his fingertips replacing AJs dancing through her hair. And he felt so stupidly amazed by even just the texture of it, so fine and so silky. How could something so small really seem so perfect when it was indeed part of him.

"That sounds so..."

"I know." AJ replied simply, apparantly not fazed by Punks nerves. "But there's not really anything else I could call you. Not once she was really here to talk to."

"When was that? When was she born?"

"Oh... July twenty-third. So she's nearly four months really."

"She's so..."

"Yeah, she is."

"She looks like you."

AJ laughed gently. "Only first thing in the morning. I think she looks like her dad. She does the smirk and everything."

Punk couldn't help but laugh. "I just feel... like it isn't real you know?"

"Yeah well, if you ever find yourself pregnant, you'll know what it felt like being me won't you?"

"Fair enough. But I... don't even know her name."

"Yeah you do. She's Freya."

"Has she got a middle name?"

"Lee."

"As in your brother? I, er... bumped into him earlier."

AJ smiled knowingly as she gently rocked her daughter. "That why he looked so pale when he came back?"

"Probably." he answered guiltily. "Didn't tell him who I was or anything but he got pretty close and I... I didn't think you'd want to see me so-"

Colour crept into AJs face and she concentrated on baby Freya as she mumbled; "I've been waiting a year to see you..." But then she caught out the corner of her eye how intently he was looking at her as she spoke and so she lifted her head and cleared her throat, voice swaying nervously as she asked; "Do you want to hold her?"

He blinked, a little stunned. "You don't... mind?"

Smiling dreamily, she shook her head. "Just... answer me one thing. Where's Jack?"

Punk couldn't helped but scowl, repulsed by the memories such a question evoked. "I don't know." he answered flatly. "And I don't care."

"But we have to!" AJ insisted anxiously. We're all here now... me, you... Freya! And if you've still got anything to do with... if you're living in any kind of fear, I need to know. For all our sakes."

Features softening, Punk shook his head again and held out his arms expectantly. "I'm safe." he assured her quietly. "We all are."

AJ nodded feverishly and carefully delivered Freya into her fathers arms.

"She's... so _small_."

"Oh she isn't. Eight and a bit pound when she was born."

Punk looked up in interest. "Is that... good?"

"It's painful." she answered, nodding even as her grimace softened into a smile. She reached over and let Freya wrap her little hand around her finger. "We really could have done with you, y'know."

"If I'd _known..._"

"You'd have run a mile." she finished, laughing. "It's ok, really. Maybe it's best you had no choice? I'd never be without her."

"No, I can see that. You suit each other."

"What's that say about you and me?"

"It doesn't need to say anything. I don't think you need me, not really."

"Isn't that for me and Freya to decide?"

Punk smirked as he fawned over his daughter, her bright eyes fixated by his features. "She's a baby, what's she gonna have to say about it?"

"Plenty." AJ whispered teasingly as she stood beside him. "Look... she likes you." And she pointed out how her smooth, pink little lips formed a wide, gummy smile.

"She's probably got wind."

"No. Freya's a smiley girl... aren't you baby?"

As she gurgled, Punk grinned, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Aren't you going to say hello? She's been waiting a long time for you-" Turning his head, he gave AJ a doubtful look, but she promptly coloured, hair spilling down around her face as she looked down, hardly able to look him in the eye as she mumbled; "We both have."

He bit guiltily into his lip and refocussed on his daughter's mesmerising face, nerves rising in his stomach as he fought to find the words, the first words he was ever going to say to an innocent little life that was all his creation. But somehow, he felt ridiculous and undeserving, still not believing that this beautiful little girl could truly be his.

"Hello darlin'." he murmured, feeling that apologetic lump swell in his throat, making him choke as he fought to say the words. "Little birdie tells me it's my lucky day. Because... I found your mommy. And she... hasn't really lamped me yet..."

Throwing her a half glance, he almost felt relieved as AJ quietly chuckled and assured him; "There's still time."

"But she should, because I let her down. And I don't want to do the same to you, Freya. I don't really know how I can be so scared of someone so small, but I am. I'll try and be good to you, sweetheart, I swear. Have to be don't I? I'm your dad."


	43. Chapter 43

**I'm so sorry for the lack of updates but I am back and raring to go again. I was lucky enough to attend a Live Raw show last night here in Belfast and it was AMAZING! I took over 200 photos and ok I may have not met anyone in person but I was 4 rows away from the ring and goodness me..CM Punk is HOT from even that far away! If that's as close as I'll ever get then I will die a happy chick! Anyway...thank you for reading and reviewing. All the support has been super cool :)**

* * *

Freya seemed very content in her daddy's arms. In fact, she let him pull her this way and that, lifting her up, spinning her around, all because so very soon he was so very amazed by her. AJ saw it happening as it must have done between herself and Freya. She saw him falling in love with her, and it made her even more sure that their daughter was perfect. Her stomach lurched when she realised she was so cautiously looking upon Freya as Phils daughter. She'd always known it of course, but she'd never really thought she'd see the truth of it play out in front of her. Freya had been hers alone and she'd always been so fiercely protective, knowing that if she lost her, she had nothing. But Phil was right, she had to learn to trust him. She had before, and she found that she couldn't help but find herself doing it all over again. He was here, and right now that was enough. She couldn't stop smiling, and it was then she realised how very long it had been since she had truly meant it.

"D'you... want anything?" she asked gently.

As Punk froze, Freya was bemused at being left suspended in mid air in his arms. "Sorry?"

AJ laughed anxiously. "Well, I have to go and get madam here to try and take more of her bottle, so I can make you a coffee if you want?"

He shook his head. "No, you're alright- but I..." The words trailed off, but somehow AJ could see they mattered to him and she stepped closer.

"What is it?"

And for the first time since they had met, she realised something. He looked _embarrassed_.

"Would it be ok if I fed her?"

Grinning, AJ spread out her hands in defeat. "If you think you can, be my guest." Seeing how he bit nervously into his lip as he refocussed on Freya, she turned towards the doorway to head towards the kitchen, but called back gently; "You're her dad, Phil. You don't need my permission to take care of her alright?"

But the worried look was still there as he looked up to acknowledge AJ had entered the lounge, Freyas bottle in her hand.

"It just feels that way, y'know?" he explained as he carefully took the bottle into one of his hands. "It's you she needs, not me."

"Not true." she replied with a smirk, stroking Freyas head as she dutifully latched on to the filled teat that Punk tilted to her lips. "Every girl needs her daddy."

Raising his gaze to her face, silence fell over them both as he noted how she avoided meeting his eye.

He sank back carefully onto the sofa, finding it was his instict to hold Freyas little body tighter as the impact came. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been anywhere near a baby... he didn't even like them and yet, the need to protect this little one was almost... _instinctive._That was good right?

It'd been like that with AJ and Punk still barely understood why. But this was AJs daughter, surely the pull to protect her came from that, never mind that she was his too. Punk had never really had anything of his own, so now to believe it was real was mind-blowing. And God, he was so scared that he'd go wrong, just because he'd never known what was right and then he'd lose them both. And he was so in awe of both of them. How could something so damn small suddenly seem so beautiful? He'd always compared babies to puppies. Wrinkled, uninteresting, not much to look at and certainly not worth the effort. But Freyas beauty obviously didn't come solely from her mother.

"I used to look at her like that." AJ noted lovingly as she settled herself on the edge of the coffee table, facing them.

"Can't take my-"

"-eyes off her." she finished proudly. "I know."

"I've missed a lot, haven't I?"

"Not really. She's only just becoming her own person."

"How d'you mean?"

"Well... she loves pink. Anything... toys, scarves, earrings. Smiles her head off when I'm trying to work out what to wear in the morning. Doesn't seem to share my taste in music though. Not much of a Limp Bizkit fan."

Punk grimaced, apparantly in agreement. "Limp Bizkit"? Jesus, what are you trying to do to the girl?"

AJ laughed and protested; "I'm trying to balance out all the Punk rubbish she gets subjected to thanks to her Uncle."

"Hey, I'm with Lee."

Smiling, AJ nodded in acceptance, but let go of a half gasp of fright almost as she asked; "Can I tell her who you are?"

"Have you got any choice?"

"I hope not." she replied coyly. "You'll... stick around, won't you?"

Punk stared at her. "You think I'll do a runner, don't you?"

"I don't know what I think. And I'm sorry but I don't see what you left me with."

"I'm sorry."

AJ sighed. "And I want to believe you... for her sake." Her gaze became fixed upon Freya. "But it's gonna take some time. You just... have to be willing to wait on me, that's all."

He smiled weakly. "I can do that."

"I know." she answered, returning his smile as she leant forward. "Is she asleep?"

The smile widened as Punk looked down. "Looks that way."

"Well, look, give the bottle here, and I will go make you something." She took the bottle and pushed herself up from the low coffee table, picking her way across the room to leave for the kitchen again. But laughing in gentle silence, she shrank back a step from the doorway, in love with the image of him snuggling against his tiny daughter, to stroke her smooth skin, smell her silky hair, every little thing AJ couldn't get herself over when her little miracle was first born.

"What's up with you?" Punk asked in a humoured murmur, seeing how her lips were set so serenely.

"It just occured to me how unconventional we are."

"How d'you mean?"

"I mean like... I've had your baby and I... don't even know how to make you a coffee!"

He couldn't help but laugh, quietly of course, not wanting to disturb Freya. "It doesn't matter."

"Yeah it does." she argued cheekily. "What am I supposed to say when she asks about the little things?"

"Tell her to call me."

Sharon smiled gratefully. "Do you really think you can do this, Phil?"

He clawed back his whitened lip and after a moment's contemplation, shook his head honestly. "Not really. But you went ahead didn't you? There's no reason I can't at least try and give her the same."

Beaming as she stroked hair from a face, AJ strode back and casually leant in to press a lingering kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you..." she murmured, rushing back out before she was forced to register his reaction, scared of what it might be.

But on her way across the hall, she collided in the hall with Frank, who had just slammed back through the front door, looking as sour as ever. AJ squeezed past him and went into the kitchen to tip the rest of the milk from the bottle and down the sink. She watched the thunder play across her dads face from this distance, never trusting him. He looked from her, with a wordless accusation towards the lounge.

"You'll leave them **alone**." AJ called out firmly.

"He's still here then?" Frank spat.

Her stomach lurched as she watched him charge through to the lounge. She raced after him and had to fight to throw herself into his path, barely managing to shield Punk as he stood, cradling their daughter.

"You can't change this, Dad. He's her father. He has rights!"

"No, he doesn't!" Frank roared, lunging forward.

"_No!_" AJ yelled, terrified Freya would be hurt upon contact.

Tears were sparkling in her desperate eyes as she fought with all her strength to hold her father off.

"Dad, please. Freya deserves this too... she _needs _him." Her lip quivered as she pressed on. "Don't you remember what it was like for you and me?"

Frank blinked, recognition obvious.

"Well, that's what I want for _them_." she insisted tearfully. "I want them to love each other **so **much that-"

"That what you're calling it, Frank?" Punk questioned bitterly, holding his wailing daughter, awoken by her mother's screams protectively against his chest. "What you did to us? That's _love_?"

AJ felt her father lurch furiously again and she struggled to hold him back again. "Dad?" she questioned desperately, her filling eyes searching his face. "What does he mean?"

"Yeah, go on Frank. Tell her what I **mean**."

AJ turned around frightfully, shuddering as her eyes met Punks. She could sense the hatred, like when she had heard them yelling at each other in the street. Frank had left the house seconds before that disturbance. _Had... Had he been __**expecting**__ Phil?_

"Dad-" she shivered, turning again. "What's he talking about?"

"Nothing." Frank snapped venomously.

"Oh yeah-" Punk scoffed. "- it's _nothing _to pretend you're six feet under is it Frank? How many years did you play that one again?"

"I don't understand-" AJ protested, feeling as if her head might burst.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." Punk replied regretfully. "But it was him."

"What was? _Phil_?"

Regretting his outburst, Punk bit into his lip as he soothed Freya, rubbing circles in her back. But he found now, he couldn't take his eyes from AJ. "You think I didn't want to go with you. And you're wrong. I just thought I was out of choices. I never thought this would... that _Freya would_ happen. But darlin'... you thought I was a goner, because Frank here convinced me that you'd be better off thinking that... thinking **that**. I believed him... I've never made a bigger mistake and I'm so sorry."

AJ suffered with several long seconds of delayed reaction as she struggled to take in his words, shoving her father lightly back as she lost the will to hold on.

"You mean... we could have been together?" she asked quietly, hardly able to control her shaking.

Punk looked guiltily down, mumbling against Freyas tiny shoulder. "Yeah."

"And that... that was what you wanted?"

"Yeah."

"But instead... you let _him_..." She whirled round in a fury, almost knocked off balance by the force of it, and glared venomously at her father, a fury filling her like she had never known. But he was not worth her time, Phils confession was all she could deal with right now and so she faced him again. "...tell you to leave me... when I needed you the _most_? How could you **do** that Phil? _How_?"

"April, I-"

Glowering, AJ threw her hair back across her shoulder, lifting her chin defiantly as she held out her arms. "Give her to me!"

Lip quivering, he held his daughter closer, feeling her tiny heart beat as she cried harder, so unsettled by all this ill-feeling. And her daddy felt so responsible... and so guilty.

"I just-"

But AJ wasn't interested. "**Give** her to _me!_"

He made no move however, and she threw herself forward, wrenching her daughter's tiny body from Punks arms. "No, April, please, not when she's-" And the wrench wasn't just physical. Punk felt it in another way, and he'd never known a pain like it. It felt immediately as though something was missing.

He had no fight left within as AJ hissed; "You're right. We don't need you. We've never needed either of you! Get **out!**"


	44. Chapter 44

**Thank you for reading and reviewing :)**

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AJ didn't hang around to see them both leave. She held her daughter closer, unsettled by all this movement and raced up the stairs, slamming her bedroom door shut, falling awkwardly back against it as the racking sobs took her over.

"I'm so sorry baby..." she whispered miserably into Freyas soft mop of dark hair as she choked. "Your mommy's so sorry. She's been such an idiot." Feeling hardly better for this emission, she let the crying, painful now, take her over. She flinched frightfully as she heard the door slam. She considered trying to pull herself up, but found that her legs had gone dead beneath her. Not wanting to endanger her baby, she didn't move, rocking Freya gently instead.

She did not see how Punk half stumbled from the house, unsure as to how he had made it all go so wrong so damn quickly. He supposed it was just the fury of seeing Frank, his one and only link to what had been, around AJ and their own daughter, knowing that he had deliberately denied him all knowledge of what was his. He hadn't meant to hurt her..., he'd had long enough alone to consider how the truth would hurt her, but...

Hating himself inwardly, he turned back towards the house and slammed his fist furiously into the stone pillar at the bottom of the stairwell. He felt the thin layer of skin on his knuckles scrape back, and it stung, but he didn't even care enough to wince, he was too fucking furious. What he'd said to Lee had been right, AJ had never really needed to see him. And she had been right too. Missed him, she might, but she didn't need him. She never had. She'd done alright on her own. But it was Frank that had made it that way and that just made him all the more angry.

His one chance... and he'd blown it. Not that he really knew what he was meant to do with it in the first place. Freya was some tiny, innocent, totally dependent thing, what did Punk know about anything besides unintentionally, yet naturally wreaking havoc on every life he'd ever been present in. He and AJ had shared a turbulent week, that was all. But it'd been enough to leave her with a piece of him she was never going let him appreciate. And maybe that was all he deserved. He was not the kind of man that could have been any sort of father, but he knew he could have been more than Frank had proved himself without even trying.

Hot tears blinding him, Punk walked away, barely with the energy to hold himself up as he went, not knowing, not caring where he was going, because, could he really leave... now? Frank had not followed him at AJs furious request. He'd stayed inside the house, looking as smug as anything in the hall. He'd betrayed his daughter, her daughter and yet, there he stood, assuming he'd kept his place despite her fury. Punk could only hope he was wrong. There was nothing he deserved more than to suffer as much as it seemed he had made AJ. Punk hated how AJ had left him with no choice but to leave Freya because now, he doubted he'd ever see her again. He knew there were no rights to be had after what he'd done

Having shushed her daughter to sleep, AJ lay her down in her cot, tucking the thick blankets protectively around her little body. Then she staggered to the bathroom and splashed cold water over her tear-stained and blotchy face, moaning quietly as she caught sight of her sorry reflection in the mirror on the medicine cabinet. Her footsteps were heavy as she went down the stairs, gripping the banister hard with her soaked palms. Her legs felt weak and nerves stirred in her stomach as she levelled with the lounge door and found it ajar.

She should have known her father would not have the decency to leave her. Scowling, she pushed at the door and moved inside. Frank, sat across the room in the recliner, the many lines of his face deeper than ever as he set in deep contemplation. Catching sight of his hunched daughter in the doorway, the recliner rocked as he fought to straighten up. AJ ignored him and went across the room, sinking heavily back against the sofa and fumbling with her hands.

"Why did you do it, Dad?" she mumbled after a long and heavy silence. She lifted her head, her wide, bright eyes sparkling with more tears. "_Why?_"

"I was trying to protect you." he answered calmly.

"From _Phil_?" she pressed in disgust.

"Exactly, from him!" Frank nodded, his tone a little more aggravated now. "The man's scum, April."

"He's the father of my **child!**"

"For all the good he'd be to you both."

"No..." AJ argued tearfully, shaking her head fiercely. "You didn't see him with her! He wants to be good..."

"But he won't be. He won't ever be. And you know why? Because he's Jacks son, always has been, always will be, and you and Freya don't need that kind of danger!"

"No! Why don't you get it? He was going to let them kill him!"

"Didn't though did they?" Frank threw back smartly.

"Don't you dare! Don't you **dare!** You've watched me Dad, all this time... _grieving_ for him... thinking I'd left my little girl without any chance of ever knowing her own father! And where was he? Tanning himself in your fuckin' _villa_. That isn't just cruel Dad, that's beyond **sick**."

"Really? You think so? Because the state I found him in, it wouldn't have taken much to finish him off. I could have done that... would you have preferred it?"

"No! No, of course not!"

"I saved his life!" Frank added sternly.

Guiltily, AJ hung her head, unable to stop herself mumbling in reply; "You've taken mine instead."

"What?" he shrieked in disbelief, rolling his eyes. "April, how can you be so ridicu-"

Her slender neck jerked, her pretty but saddened eyes narrowed with venom. "How _dare_ you! I'm **not **ridiculous! I'm the only one out of any of us that has any damn sense! What did you do, drag him off the floor and tell him to back off?"

"If I had, he wouldn't have heard me, he was barely alive."

AJs stomach twisted with nausea, pressing her hand to her mouth. "What, so you patch him up and ship him out out the kindness of your heart? You were stealing him away from me!"

Tilting his head back, Frank scoffed dismissively. "He didn't take much convincing, April, believe me!"

"There _is_ nothing to believe!" she returned hotly. "He'd just been **shot **Dad, he'd have agreed to anything."

"He knew he had nothing to offer you."

"Except our _daughter_."

Despite her stubborn argument, Frank shrugged his shoulders lazily, not even seeming as though he cared.

"Where do you get off on controlling my life, Dad? I'm a grown woman, I make my own decisions."

"Yeah, and look where that got you. Mistake after flaming mistake!"

"**No! **My baby is not-"

But Frank sat calmly back, his cold eyes surveying her panicked face. "You sure, April? You don't look it."

"You know what she means to me, Dad." she returned sadly, hurt by his words. "You know how I felt about _him_."

"It was _him _you should have had convinced my girl, obviously didn't mean all that much to him did you? But I think you knew... no-one can mean anything to animals like him."

Throwing him a venomous look, she wrenched herself up, hissing; "I hate you for this Dad, I hate you so **much**."

And though the man looked stung, he pursed his lips and returned; "Somehow, I'll live."

AJ stopped dead in the doorway, halted by her repulsion. "I know you will." she spat viciously. "You always did. Only I didn't know _that_ either did I?"

But even in her fury, AJ was soon regretting her decision to leave her father, whom yes, she was certain she now hated, in charge of caring for the child he refused to hold a regard for... to hold even. But she couldn't make herself go back to that house, the intensity of the ill-feeling beating as heavily in her chest as the pounding music was through the hot, cramped club they owned. She needed to be anywhere but that farce of a home. But still, all a mother could do was worry. Hours had gone by and she'd thrown herself into the rush of work that had always been her trade, almost grateful that as ever, it was there and perhaps the only thing left that was truly hers.

She even managed a few smiles as she got into the swing of bantering with the customers like usual. She almost felt normal - until she turned round and saw him there. She stopped dead behind the bar, three Buds and a Manhattan cocktail wavering in her hands, narrowing her eyes to make him out in the shadows. He was there alright. Punk, sat comfortably in the shadows, sipping what looked like a glass of Pepsi! Flinching as he appeared to meet her eye, she spun quickly away, almost bumping into her bartender Joel who was restocking the bottles in the fridge.

Pushing himself up, he declared; "All done boss."

AJ smiled weakly and he frowned.

"Hey..." he said softly. "...what's up?" And he squinted in the direction AJs troubled gaze had been caught.

Gingerly, she set her hand down on his arm, stepping close and murmuring feverishly against his ear. "Don't let him leave."

His lips straight, he hunched his shoulders and nodded, replying; "You're the boss. But... why?"

"Because the bastard deserves to suffer."

He laughed and got on with whatever jobs called for his attention and when AJ wasn't looking at Punk, pretending she wasn't of course, then he was, making a point of always been ready to serve him.

Slamming down his ever empty glass, Punk craned his neck around the barrier that Joel created and observed; "Your boss isn't very sociable, is she?"

"Just you she's got a problem with it seems." Joel replied brightly, replenishing Punks glass with a flourish.

Punk only offered a tight smirk as she swept up the drink. "Oh, I know she has mate, don't worry."

He reappeared at the bar a few more times as the night wore on, and he'd never catch AJs eye. So he gave up trying, watching her intently without wanting to draw her attention, which worked like a charm because he soon realised she couldn't keep her gaze from him, suspicious... venomous, but still definitely on him. Not that it was going to sort anything. So Punk tipped the liquid to the back of his throat and left the glass empty upon the bar top, pushing his way out of the crowd. AJ jolted as she realised his movement and rushed out from behind the bar, completely abandoning her easy and idle conversation with some nameless, meaningless guy that had been propping up the bar all night.

"AJ?" Joel called out blindly.

"Just watch the bar!" she yelled back, never slowing up and really having to fight her way through the crowds, mumbling barely meant "Excuse me... thank you"s as she elbowed people in the ribs to pass them. She tore up the stairs and stumbled out into the freezing cold winter night, twisting wildly this way and that as she searched for him. Fury flared again as she caught sight of his form. _How dare he find it so easy to walk away?_

She chased after him, her red chucks burning against the pavement and she jerked his elbow roughly to pull him round.

Punk couldn't pretend he wasn't surprised because he was. But he knew to expect the fury in her eyes as she glared so angrily up at him.

"That's it." she spat. "Get up and go, don't say a word! Wouldn't be the first time would it?"

"I guess not."

"You owe me an explanation." she pushed dangerously.

Turning his head away, Punks cold burst of laughter mocked her. "What do you think I've been doing in _there _all night?" he demanded, glancing pointedly back towards the club. "Enjoying the ambience?"

"Don't try me, Phillip."

"That isn't what I'm _trying _to do, you stupid bitch!"

"Oh yeah..." AJ bit back sarcastically, nervously licking her glossed lips as she nodded furiously. "...that's me alright!"

Wincing at his own inarticulate words, Punk looked awkwardly down. "April, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Well you should." she said sharply. "It's true. I **am **a stupid bitch. Stupid enough to think that you-"

"I never meant to hurt you, I swear!"

"Well, you **did**!" she shrieked, hot angry tears spilling over. "You... You let me tell you I loved you before-"

"I didn't ask you to say that."

"I didn't ask to _mean _it! But I do, y'know that? And now I don't know why. I just don't know what it is about you that I really thought was worth-"

"Because there isn't anything." he cut in firmly. "Really."

Smiling weakly, he turned away, ready to move off again, but AJ reached for and pulled on his hand, drawing him back and letting her smoky breath chill the crook of his neck as she whispered miserably; "I want to hate you so much."

Punk almost managed to laugh, but instead nodded sadly, confessing; "You'll never hate me more than I hate myself."

"Because I don't know enough. Just give me the truth, Phil. Please! I need the truth."


	45. Chapter 45

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Not really able to do much besides nod, knowing that what she was asking was the very least she deserved; Punk seemed to know in her very wordlessness what he was meant to do. For if he was here and she was too, then that left Frank at home with little Freya, and there would be nothing he could do if the newfound father saw him there. Violence had never answered anything for him. All he could do was trust AJ. So he watched her as she turned away, shuddering a little against the cold as she spluttered on her tears. Guilt kicked as the distance between them grew, filled by the dark, miserable night. Her footsteps had just about faded away when he began to follow her too. Not too close, but never allowing her form to leave his view. He stopped on the other side of the rain splattered Gardens, watching her rush through, head bowed against the pathetic pitter-patter of the a new shower.

Heavily, she climbed to the top of the stairwell. Her shoulders relaxed a little, but her expression could not as she glanced around, looking almost gratified when she didn't catch sight of Punk himself. He realised he had done right, keeping his distance. He thought he understood, watching her eagerly as she turned her key in the lock and went silently into the house.

The wait was lonely, but thankfully, it did not last long and his anxious heartbeat settled. He couldn't however, stop fury beating within his chest as the front door slammed shut again, this time after Frank. He looked as disgruntled as ever, but Punk didn't care. He had never realised it was possible to hate someone you could not know so damn much. But he did, more than ever. He was willing him away, while he still held the nerve to go up to her door and hope that AJ still required that explanation, if only to be rid of the guilt. It was all that had kept him company in this last year. He almost despised the truth of his absence more than he did Frank, and it was Frank, and his own damn weakness that he blamed completely.

But he summoned all his nerve as her dad disappeared into the shadows of the night and dropped off the kerb before stepping up the other side and ascending the dampened stairwell, raising his shaking fist to rap on the door, completely disregarding the knocker. But the door was pulled gently open before he could claim to have made a sound. AJ sank back, looking a little afraid it had to be said.

"Come in." she said tiredly. Punk almost felt guilty for obeying, not able to move out the way quick enough so AJ might close the door. But it didn't seem to bother her. She moved past him without a flicker of emotion, and into the lounge. He stood anxiously in the doorway, staring at her reflection as she stood in front of the mirror above the mantle. Her hands reached up around the back of her head, gripping the clip that had secured her hair to her head for a whole shift, perhaps a double. As she loosened it, her chocolate mane tumbling down the back of her neck. She shook her head gently as her hair spread out across her shoulders, perfect curls at the ends. It was something so normal, so innocent, and yet Punk was having to bite hard into his lip to stop himself blurting how beautiful he considered she looked. It had no place.

She let the clip land on the low coffee table with a clatter, still moving around him as if he were not there. But, easing off her grey jacket, and promptly sinking into the carpet for the pleasure as she removed her chucks, AJ turned towards him, as if it were an afterthought as she threw her shoes in the direction of the shoe rack beneath the stairs.

"Go through..."

But Punk hesitated, reading the tiredness on her face. "Are you sure?"

She nodded certainly. "Mmmm." she told him distractedly. "Just... give me a second."

And he caught the way she was looking so anxiously up the stairs and he knew instantly what she was desperate to do. He moved forward, but she jumped defensively in the way.

"Go _through_." she repeated a little more firmly.

And however reluctant he was, Punk had to relent. He was after all, the one in the wrong.

He went through to the lounge and sank heavily on the sofa, just waiting, listening. To AJs light footsteps across the floorboards of the landing above him, the creaking of a bedroom door, even lighter steps. And he knew, oh he knew he was right. Because though he heard her murmur, she spoke so gently, so quietly, there was only one her words could have been intended for, and Punk was being forced anyway. Again, he felt lonely. His own daughter was up there and he, as ever... was too far away.

But he wasn't alone for long. AJ left Freya so silently, he barely heard her come back down the stairs, surprised to see her come silently back into the lounge, smiling weakly as she passed him and headed for the kitchen. She clanked around with the kettle and the cups, managing to return with two cups of a coffee held in her shaking hands.

"Take it." she said stubbornly as she held one out to Punk. "We'll need it."

He couldn't even humour the truth of it, casting his guilty eyes into the bottom of the cup as she sank down next to him, her feet tucked up beneath her. She felt a little too warm in the heat of the room and the thickness of her smart blouse, but she could not help but shiver as silence overtook them. So much to say... with no nerve to say it.

"I thought you wanted to talk." she pushed awkwardly after a painful minute or two, dragging her hand through her hair as she leant back.

"Yeah well... I'd have thought Frank had plenty to say to you."

"Of course he has. He's my dad, he always has. And now I want to hear it from you too."

"I don't think I-"

AJ pulled the cup back from her lips. "Don't tell me you can't. **Don't.** You have to give me _something_... something to tell her..."

"But it's not about Freya is it? It's about..." He hesitated. "...you and me."

"I thought you were **dead**. You... You _let_ me think that! You let me torture myself thinking about everything I could have done for you! And if you ever thought anything of me, you'd have said... _something _wouldn't you? Somehow?"

Punk leant forward a little, placing his cup down on the coffee table, looking thoughtfully over at her. "You don't think I wanted to?"

"Well you didn't."

"I thought you'd move on. No-one told me about Freya. I was relying on your dad, April."

"Yeah. You have been for quite a while it seems. Phil... did you- when I- did you feel it?"

He shook his head guiltily. "No. I wish I had, but-"

"But I... walked away. Is that all you remember?"

"Yeah." he confessed, feeling guilty for doing just that. "But... whatever I said... you did the right thing, you know that?"

AJ bit hard into her lip, shaking her head desperately as the tears brimmed. "I let you down."

"No. I was asking something that was impossible, something that could never be you."

"How does that matter?"

"You know how. There was Freya."

"But I didn't know that." she argued, drinking deeply. "And nothing you or my dad say can make any sense, because when they told me... that I was pregnant... I had the shirt off your back in my hands."

"I know you did." he answered quietly.

"What? H-How can you know that? How can you know it came to me?"

His lip trembled and his voice wavered. "Because your dad said... it was the only way to make you really believe..."

Her facial muscles scrunched instinctively in disgust. "He **planned** it? You... _let _him?"

"April, I'd just been shot, I was out of it, dying with the pain, I'd have let him do anything!"

"What made you believe he was right? Why didn't you believe in me? Is it because I left, because I couldn't do it?"

"**No!**"

"Then what made you hate me so much, Phil? Tell me!"

"I _don't _hate you!" he told her, a little louder than he intended as his frustrations built. "But darlin', he's your dad. Supposed to know you better than I was ever going to. I had no-one else to believe and he... he saved my life."

"No he didn't." she spat venomously in reply. "That's what he wants you to think, so you owe him... so you'll stay away, keep to what he made you agree to! But you must know you don't really owe him anything or you'd never have come here, you'd never have wanted to see me."

"Are you kidding?" Punk pressed doubtfully. "The thought of you is all that's kept me going. Going quietly crazy with it I reckon but... it didn't matter. No-one was gonna care."

"But **I **do." she insisted emotionally, pulling herself up. "And I've tried to make myself stop, thinking I... I don't know-"

"Imagined it?"

"Did I?"

Half smiling, Punk shook his head. "No, darlin'. Was real alright."

"Can't have been." AJ surmised sadly.

"Why not?"

"Because you devastated me. You and my dad... the man that's supposed to have loved me all my life, deliberately lied to me."

"And I'm sorry. April please, if he'd ever told me about Freya, I would have-"

"Don't lie." she cut in dismissively. "C'mon Phil, do you even know how many kids you _might _have?"

"What kind of question's that?"

AJ hunched her shoulders. "A valid one. I mean, you can stand there, tell me we really felt something for each other and what... I'm supposed to believe that you've spent the last year moping around my dad's villa, guilty as Hell and living a life of celibacy instead of picking up girls when you were working dodgy bars every night?"

Nodding knowingly, Punks lips curved into a half smirk as he got up and moved over to AJ. "Mmm-hmm... what you really mean to say is "Bet you slept around to pass the time" right?"

AJs beautiful yet stormy eyes flared. "Well, did you?"

"What's it to you?"

"What's it to me?" she repeated dangerously. "Hours and hours of childbirth and the proof to one day tell my daughter her dad was a good man and not just some selfish, _lying_, mindless, violent arsehole."

Punk laughed quietly, nodding in approval as he met her eye. "Oh that's good. I like it. And you know what, you're right and well within your rights to tell Freya that. Only you won't."

"Oh, I won't?" she challenged.

But Punk shook his head simply. "No. Because you don't believe it. I know you want to, but you don't. If you really did... you'd have no reason to be crying right now."

Affronted, she hastily wiped her filling eyes, reluctant to let him see her weakened.

"You'll be worse for her than you are for me." she pointed out spitefully.

"I believe that even if you don't."

"What makes you think I don't?"

"Because I've always slept round April, never cared, got it easy. But I'd never want to inflict myself on another human being. I always knew no kid deserved that curse. And yet... Freya, she's got you. And we might have only had a week April, but I know.. I know you better than anyone I've ever met. I know she's got a chance because she's part of you too. That's all you knew too. Don't ask me to be sorry she's here, I'm not. And don't try and make her mean any less, because she doesn't. There's only her and however much you want to hate me... you know she's all that matters."

"But I thought _we _had a chance too. But even if you could have walked out of there... it never really existed did it?"

"Would you want it to?"

AJs laughter was high and forced as she mocked him, spinning unsteadily round in disbelief. "Do you really think I would have put myself through all this if I didn't? My own dad treating me like I had some... dirty disease just because I was going to have her, when all the time, he had you on speed dial and I was walking round, thinking how selfish I was, making Freya be born to one parent. Why did you have to make me feel like that if it wasn't true?"

"There isn't an answer to that, April. I'm sorry."

"And what's sorry supposed to do, Phil, huh? What's it supposed to make us think, Freya and me? That we'll see you in another year... two? Is it supposed to make us believe you **care?**"

"If you think I don't then you're not remembering it right."

"Well, obviously." she returned bitterly, looking him up and down.

"April, for God's sake! I know I hurt you, but you know I felt something for you too."

"But what was this something?" she hissed demandingly. "You know what Phil, in all the time you've had to come up with the best, most elaborate lie you possibly could, I don't think you knew what it was yourself."

He shrugged. "No, you're right. I didn't. Still don't think I do. And that terrifies me."

But AJ scoffed dismissively, turning round, looking into her cup, her hands now shaking with fury. "Nothing **can **terrify the likes of you."

"You're wrong." he replied calmly.

"Oh of course I am." she spat. "That's all I ever been. But c'mon, surprise me. _Why _am I wrong?"

The heavy burden of silence descended again, casting out awkwardness for its every passing moment. AJ shivered still, the back of her neck prickling uncomfortably as she waited. She could tell in the uneasy pattern of his breathing, a sound she would not long ago have given anything to hear for the sake of her little girl, that he was preparing himself, panicking maybe.

"Look, that night they shot me. When you came back, I lied ok. I felt it. I felt you touch me, kiss me goodbye. I felt your lips on my pulse. I heard what you said. What you were trying to tell me before you ran. April I heard everything. And at that moment, my heart. It belonged to you. I waited for you to tell me, but you were just as frightened of it as I was.

"Wh-What are you saying?" AJ whispered in disbelief.

"I'm saying, what I'm trying to say April, is I thought I loved you too, I think I still do."


	46. Chapter 46

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AJ slammed down the coffee cup, whirling round, her eyes narrowed contemptously. "You thought? You think?"

He nodded awkwardly.

"Why can't you _know_?" she demanded.

"I'm not like you." Punk pointed out rather desperately, in a quiet cracked voice, finding he could not look her in the eye. "You can't expect me to understand it. It's all... new."

"And my heart _bleeds_." she fired back sarcastically. "There isn't no two ways about this Phil, you either do or you don't."

"Does it even matter to you?"

"Me? God, no, why should it matter to _me_? I'm just the woman, what? Stupid enough, naive enough to think there was something in carrying your daughter inside me for nine months?"

Punk closed his eyes and counted away his anxious breaths.

"Stop trying to make it about Freya. You know it isn't."

"I know _nothing!_" she snapped. "You made it that way."

"I know." he replied placidly. "And you hate me for that, I know."

"What you're doing... it's cruel, y'know that? I don't think I could ever have known you, but I still know how I feel. Why say anything if you don't even know?"

Punk shook his head dismissively. "You don't get it. I **do** know. I know I love you. But I don't know _how_. And don't look at me like that, you remember it just like I do. You really think I'd ever really cared about anyone before in my life?"

Stubbornly, AJ shrugged. "How am I supposed to know?"

"Oh, you know. C'mon April, what about Zack? What about the French guy? I didn't care about anyone, I never had, that was the way. And you... you fucked me right up."

AJ balked defensively, but Punk leapt in again before she could spit any venom at him.

"There's no use in feelings if you don't understand them."

"What are you expecting me to do about it?"

"Nothing. Not if you don't want to. I'd understand. But I... I just want a chance, to be something to you and my daughter."

AJ glanced awkwardly into her lap, biting into her lip. "You're her dad. I can't change that."

He nodded in acceptance and edged closer nervously, pressing; "What about you?"

Though she tried, she couldn't answer. Hands shaking as she tried to hold herself, she got up from the sofa, turning away before her tears could be seen. But Punk had not missed the way she was shuddering so tellingly and carefully he got up to go and stand behind her, his thumbs stroking away her hair from her shoulders as they rested there.

"Hey..." he soothed anxiously. He pushed gently against her shoulder to pull her round.

She stood in front of him, her feverish face tear-stained, and her shimmering eyes hardly knowing where to settle as they searched his face. He felt her stretch up onto her toes and the next thing he knew he was holding her so tight against him, her shaking arms wound tight around his neck.

He released a soft, warm breath of relief against her shoulder, stroking down her back with his hands as he held her. "Oh... sweetheart, please don't cry..."

But still she shuddered. "It wasn't _fair._"

He laughed nervously, holding her tighter, so relieved to have her against him. "Tell me about it. I swear, April, I won't ever-"

But she pulled back, pressing her fingertip lightly to his rough lip, slightly brushing against his cool piercing, shaking her head sadly. "No promises. I can't take that again."

Punk closed his eyes, needing a second to absorb and understand her words. His reply was instinctive, like a pull in his gut. "I'm so-"

But AJ raised her fingertip again, this time smiling as she shook her head. "No more apologies." she said softly. "They're no good now."

She lowered her gaze and Punk felt nerves dance on the floor of his stomach. Still he held her, too terrified to let her go. He was sure he heard her laugh, but the soft sound had died before he could even make himself look at her to recognise it. And by the time he did look at her, something happened. Something that was nothing. Something that was everything. Her eyes, so captivating as they sparkled, weren't leaving his. And there was simply no way he could look anywhere else.

He couldn't explain why he was so surprised to feel AJs lips against his, because to her, it obviously seemed natural. And although he could not help but kiss her back, he felt selfish. But still, he couldn't let her go. He'd hurt her so much and he knew no other way, in his desperation, to make her see how sorry he was.

It seemed however that AJ barely cared. Now that she had summoned the courage to do all she needed, she lost herself to the fact she need torture herself no longer, for he was here, no figment of her shattered imagination. He was as close as he could be. His warmth against her anxious body, his taste, was all real and he... he meant it to be hers.

But as the kisses became deeper and more frenzied, a needy wail sounded from above them. AJ groaned lightly against Punks lips as she broke off from their kiss, stepping back from him.

"I'll go..." he offered gently, but as he took a step towards the doorway, AJ, although smiling, stepped in his way, reaching for his hand.

"No. Let me go... please?"

Awkwardly, he hunched his shoulders in submission, letting her pass.

AJ pounded up the stairs. Punk couldn't help but edge out into the hall and quietly climb the stairs, stopping halfway and leaning against the wall as her soft soothing murmurs reached him.

"Oh... angel, shhh-shhh-shhh. Not going to make this easy on Mommy are you? Don't you know Daddy's still here? Never thought he would be, but he is. Haven't got a clue what's going to happen, but he wants to- oh baby... maybe you do too? Alright then, shhh-shhh."

Smiling to himself, Punk went up the rest of the stairs and followed Freyas wails. He pushed open the door and stepped anxiously into the room.

"Is she ok?" he asked, frowning in concern at his furiously red faced baby daughter.

AJ glanced at him over her shoulder as she rubbed her back, answering fretfully; "I really don't know! She's not wet, she shouldn't be hungry and I-" But she silenced herself and fell back on her heel, turning to face Punk fully, smiling. "I think maybe... she just wants her daddy."

Although Punk smiled in return, he only did it to humour the suggestion, doubting it utterly. But he could not stop AJ moving forward and placing the bawling baby girl in his rigid arms. He held Freya as carefully as he could, suddenly feeling more nervous than he had in his life before. Because this was not just a baby he could disregard and hand back. She was his own, and maybe... maybe he was needed. He couldn't be selfish enough to truly assume that AJ could do it alone if he really was there!

Freyas crying was silenced, and her eyes, as captivating as her mother's, locked on him, confused by the transition.

He laughed gently at her surprise as he smiled down on her.

"Not gone yet, darlin'. No. I think I'm gonna stay. Give your mom a break from all that crying eh? What's it for?"

Freya let out a confused sounding syllable that this time made both her parents laugh. Glancing suspiciously between them both as she lay in her father's arms, She seemed to realise the sound was alright, and gurgled as her little lips took a happier shape. AJ drew in a breath, a mesmerised gasp.

"She likes you."

"Well, that's alright isn't it, because I like her."

"She'll need you y'know."

"And I'll be here." Punk assured her softly. "Might not be any good at it, but... I'll be here."


	47. Chapter 47

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AJ wasn't ready to believe him when he so readily said he could be no good. Because she watched him, soothing their fretful daughter back to sleep, and she was enthralled. It was incredible to watch, because, yes, she had doubted it too, but, how she had wished to see it. And now it was playing out in front of her, and she knew she was falling in love. Freyas tiny body was spooned so comfortably up against the plane of her daddys chest, and he seemed to hold her so tenderly, as though he was terrified he might break her. She almost wished there was room enough that he might hold her too. But she fell back against the bed, unable to stop herself smiling so dreamily as she listened to him shushing Freya, whispering that he had hold of her, that he'd keep her safe, even though he seemed convinced he might drop her.

But AJ believed him implicitly, her heart swelling at the sight of the two of them together as she might have wished so long ago. He was no longer a threat. There was no closeness to be lost. He was part of the most important being in her life, such a huge part of the picture she had thought she would never see.

Assured that Freya was asleep, and looking bashfully proud of the very fact, Punk laid her carefully down in her cot, tucking the blankets up beneath her chin. He straightened up and turned round slowly, a half smirk rising in the corner of his mouth as he caught the way AJ looked back at him.

He dropped his hands nervously into his pockets and hunched his shoulders. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

AJ felt herself flush pink. "You don't know how good you are, do you?"

"I only got her to sleep."

"That's no mean feat, believe me. She's kept me up all night before now."

"You haven't... been on your own, have you?"

She shook her head. "No. Lee... he's been a godsend. He loves her so much. And he..."

"He what?"

AJ smiled coyly. "He understands why Freya's here."

Though he smiled back, Punk shook his head as he stepped forward. "You didn't do it just for me."

"No. That is true. I'm infertile remember? Thought it was my only chance. But I had her because I didn't want to miss you." Then she paused. "OK, so why are _you _looking at me like that?"

"It's just... weird. Knowing it was the same for you."

He sank down on the edge of the bed and AJ straightened up, smiling gently as she scooched closer, eager to press his lips again.

Though he couldn't help but kiss her back, enjoying her taste, he pushed her gently away and advised her; "Don't force anything you don't want."

"I can't believe you just said that." she returned with a soft laugh, which Punk didn't quite understand and frowned in confusion. "_You_, Phillip. Someone I swore never to even _like_, much less love."

He bowed his head and played idly with her hand, gently stroking her fingers apart. "They're different things... and you don't have to feel either of them just because I'm here."

"Yeah." AJ whispered in reply, shaking her head dismissively. "Because memories really would have proved better on their own, right Phil?"

"Well, that wasn't what I was saying but... yeah."

Punk shuddered a little at her last few words and calmly pleaded; "Don't trust me with too much."

AJ was bemused. "What?"

"**Our **daughter?"

"Well, she... is."

"Yeah I know. But you're right to be protective. Like you said, I don't deserve to call her my daughter."

She frowned, at a loss. "I never said that."

"But you wouldn't let **me **say it would you? And you were right. Besides, it sounds too... I'm not even a decent person, I can't expect to be called a dad too. Not until I know I won't let her down."

"I know you won't."

But Punk gave her a placid look. "No you don't. Where have I been, April, what lies have you been told?"

She looked away. "Stop it. Phil, _stop_ it, it's **done!**"

"Yeah, but you tell me it doesn't still matter?"

"Of course it does." she mumbled, feeling pathetic for it. "But who can change the past, even when they want to? It's gone."

"So what, we look forward, pretend it's all going to be alright?"

"We'll make it alright!"

"But what if I can't?" he demanded, voice cracking a little with the desperation.

But AJ shook her head. "You have to. You just do. Blame me if you want, but you've got a little girl over there that's going to depend on you for everything you've got. Nothing we can do about it if you really are here. Maybe this isn't what you wanted, but this is who you are now. Shock to the system or whatever... I could have told you a year ago if you'd let me."

He nodded gently. "I've had worse surprises."

"Yeah." she said distantly, pulling herself up and hovering over Freyas cot. "I bet you have."

Punk was sensing somewhere that somehow, something was the matter and he hated the idea that after he had done so much wrong that he might have upset the one person to matter to him any more. Silently, he pushed himself up and went over, his hands placed gently against her shoulders, stroking across the blades before letting soft kisses follow the path of his thumbs. He felt her shoulders instantly relax.

Her hand was cold as it stroked tenderly across the base of his neck, but her touch was enough alone. She turned slowly round, pushing her arms all the way around his neck and firmly kissing his mouth, in a way so passionately, it was doubtful she'd ever draw back. But who was he to care? He didn't, he simply wanted her, as he had done in all the time they had been apart and he held onto her like she was about to turn and flee from his caresses when the truth was he made her weak, because she had been praying for his closeness for so long, thinking she was never going to know it again.

Only fools messed around with second chances.

Punk took her hands in his and sat her down with him on the edge of the bed. He looked at her petite hands. Perfect. But cold. As if they hadn't been touched in a long, long while. They'd touched other things - but hadn't been touched, felt and admired themselves. He sandwiched them in between his strong, warm palms and kissed her wrists before smiling into her face. She was sullen now. Waiting.

Pulling her closer to him, he then moved his hands up onto her face, cupping it softly. He moved the frame of her cheeks up so she looked straight at him. He kept his smile, wanting her to melt like she had been a moment ago.  
She grabbed his face and pulled him forward - and kissed him. Deep. Passionate. Drinking in his taste, his smell, the whole of him as she pulled him closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. Punks hands found her back and held her to him, giving her all she wanted, all she'd missed - all they'd both missed - now they were together. At last. And this was just the start.

Punk felt her soft, warm lips on his, and it awakened a desire in him that had been missing the whole year they were apart. As he reached behind her and ran his fingers through the silky strands of her hair, he slipped his tongue through her parted lips and let it tangle with hers. AJ gasped softly, and wrapped her arms around him. She was surprised at how intense he was, it had been, after all, twelve months since the last time they had been intimate.

His lips weren't just hungry as he smothered AJ with kisses, it was like he was starved. He needed this, he needed to feel connected, to be close to her, to just feel. It overcame every muscle in his body, and he quickly pushed her back against the cushions, his large, strong hands travelling up and down her body.

"Phil," she sighed, as he sucked and nibbled her ear and neck. He tugged at the hem of her top urgently, and broke away only to swiftly pull it over her head. Just as swiftly, he removed his own shirt, and resumed his position over her.

AJ reveled in the feeling of him, every touch, every kiss was so intense. She thought his motions were almost desperate, but somehow she understood. She would be there for him, give him whatever he needed…tonight, any night, every night. For as long as he would let her.

He fumbled with the clasp of her bra for just a moment before successfully removing the lacy garment from her chest. Flipping it to the floor, he dropped his head down and savored the sweet taste of her flesh, sucking and pulling at her hardened peaks. Caressing her soft skin, sending shivers through her body from the her head all the way down to the tips of her toes.

He wanted to overcome the numbness that had taken over his body for the last few hours. The feeling of her writhing beneath him, it was irrisistable, and he just wanted more. It was as if each of her pleasured sighs and moans put a little bit of feeling back into his soul.

She was reaching for the waistband of his jeans beneath him, and he grunted softly as her hands grazed over him. He deftly reached down with one hand and unbuttoned his jeans, then stood quickly to push them off to the ground. Everything was happening fast now, from shedding what remained of her clothes to reaching for protection in the drawer of the side table.

"You okay, sweetheart?' His voice was deep and low, full of urgency. He knew he wasn't being as gentle with her as he should have been. He couldn't help it, he needed her too much tonight. He slid the condom on slowly, and positioned himself above her, waiting for consent.

"I'm okay, Ph-" as soon as the words escaped her lips, he had pushed into her, deep and hard. She gasped feeling of being filled so fully, slightly grimacing in both pain and pleasure.

She was so tight around him he felt like he could hardly move within her walls, but he continued to push into her. Again, it was urgent, desperate…he wanted every thrust to wipe away the memory of the hurt and emptiness he had felt in the past year. He felt her grip his tattooed biceps, fingernails digging into his skin, and it encouraged him further. "Oh, Ap…April." He could barely get out the words, he was breathless with exertion. He kissed her with reckless abandon, swallowing her cries and pushing in as deep as he could.

He reached for her hips and spayed his fingers out to grip her. Each time he drove into her, he pulled her hips up to meet him. She kissed every surface she could get her lips on – his neck, his shoulder his chest. She was so close, she knew it wouldn't be long before her orgasm came. "God, Phil, don't stop," she gasped in a whisper, and then she was shuddering as the waves hit her, and she buried her face into his shoulder and enjoyed the sensation coursing through her body.

He continued to enter her, searching for his own release. Having had her moment, she pushed against his chest, to his surprise. Capturing his lips with hers, she sat up, and continued to push him back until he was sitting and leaning against the back of the headboard. She shifted to straddle him, knees on either side of his legs. Running her hands down his inked chest, slick with sweat, she shifted her hips against his, brushing over his hardness, but nothing more.

"Don't tease me," he whimpered, grabbing her behind and cupping her cheeks with his hands, shifting her forward.

Just as she crashed her lips down onto his, she lowered herself over him, taking him into her wet folds. "Fuck," he muttered, as she began rocking on top of him, slowly at first, and then faster and harder. She was still tight around him, but she was so wet now that he slipped in and out easier. "You feel so good, just how I remember."

AJ threw her head back, and gripped his shoulders, bracing herself for the ride. She could barely contain her own moans as she took him in again and again. "Come on, baby," she urged.

He opened his eyes and took in the sight in front of him. Her eyes were closed, her face was scrunched up with the effort and her pert breasts bounced lightly as she came down on top of him. It was enough to send him over the edge.

She continued to ride as she felt him shudder and shake. As she felt him release, she came a second time, and she called out for him again and again.

Their little daughter slept on as they sank back so willingly against the bed, in their second bout of lovemaking, a tangle of limbs and desires. They were so frantic to release the latter, but perhaps this was the one time in two overly miserable lives that torture was the best option, to go slow and rediscover everything they had missed so painfully to the point of convincing themselves that even this lust itself had been imagined. And though every moment seemed to pass with the gentlest touch, the sweetest pleasure, though there was no rush for any such moments to end, Punk could not help but be hit by doubt as he lay beside AJ. Both were silent, and though she looked more beautiful than Punk believed he'd ever seen her, he couldn't believe she meant the smile she sent his way as she lay scooched into the pillow.

A moment of madness, he sadly decided. He couldn't assure he had any place in her life this way, it wasn't fair. This was the old way. AJ was better than that, and Punk wanted so much to be better himself. Carefully, he swung his legs to the floor and began to pull his jeans back on. He could feel her pretty eyes on him all the time, which made the guilt prickle hotter still.

"I'll do it." she said, amidst a serene sounding sigh.

"What?" he asked nervously, glancing over his shoulder.

"Well, you were going to get Freya right? I guess I should feed her about now..."

Punk stared guiltily at AJs bare back, inwardly cursing himself.

"No really-" he gabbled, getting up before AJ even could. "-I'll go. New skills to pick up right?"

AJ beamed, settling back to cover her nakedness with a section of the duvet. "I can't believe you want to do this."

"Believe it." he told her simply, bending to lift Freya from beneath her blankets. "Anything's better than-"

AJ nodded simply in understanding so that he was not forced to go on, he was grateful.

"It's all in the fridge." she whispered as he headed towards the door. "Just needs reheating and then you test it by-"

"Back of the hand trick right?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I'll be down in a second. Just need to, well you know-"

"I'll be fine." he repeated, before beaming down on his daughter. "Won't we kid?"

Freya babbled, making her mother giggle. "Yeah, I know." she returned, stroking hair from her eyes as she looked back at him. "But... maybe I just want to..."

"Stare me out?"

"I won't be _staring_. I'll be... thinking how good she looks with you."

"Yeah-" Punk grinned "-**while **you're staring."

She waved him off, but found that even when he was gone, she _was_ still staring at the spot he was still stood, trying to comprehend all that had happened in the last hour. She got up from the bed and slowly, calmly replaced all her discarded clothes, but even then, she was still... seeing him. Though she'd seemed to get away with it, she was still... shaken by the sight of him. She'd never forgotten how gorgeous he was and yet, this time, her lustful eyes had sought out those faded marks so soon. She knew they'd looked worse, so much so, but it still had hurt her to find the thin silvery trails across his shoulder and stomach, noting where bullets had entered him so mercilessly. Such bad times that at this time, in this proximity, AJ was desperate to forget. She just wanted him, to believe that he might really be hers. And yet, however much she tried to tenderly kiss the marks away as they'd made love together, the marks, and the memories, refused to budge.


	48. Chapter 48

**Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**

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Lee dragged his feet as he climbed the stairwell to the front door, fishing for the key in his pocket. These had been lonely, confusing hours, but he'd decided that AJs problems had to be his own. So what if weirdo guy wanted to come up to him and ask questions? Maybe he just wouldn't give the next one the chance, because damn it, he was going learn how to put up that bloody buggy on his own. He wasn't going need a stranger approach him next time and then no questions could be asked and AJ, Freya and Lee, they could just get on in the ways they'd become used to.

But for now, Lee just wanted a hot shower, to try and forget how cold he now was for the hours he'd spent trawling the town window shopping, no better for it. Without the money in his pocket to tell him he could have whatever it was that had leapt out so readily, so thankfully, to distract him from everything he was thinking, all he was, was... back to square one and that wasn't somewhere he was prepared to go.

He pushed heavily against the front door and slipped inside with a defeated sigh. He blinked against the intrusion of the hall lights as he backed up against the door to close it. These lights were never on. Never. He wasn't exactly sure why, but that was just the way. So suspicion was prickling at the bush-beaten young guy as he threw off his coat, completely missing the banister as he flung it in that general direction. But he didn't notice, trying to level his voice so he didn't sound so desperate and frantic as he called his sister's name.

"April?!"

He crashed into the lounge and practically lost his balance at the sight of the stranger from earlier, topless, balancing her niece in one arm and a bottle in the other.

"What the helldo you think you're doing?" he yelled, rushing forward, his shivering arms ready to seize his niece.

Just for a second, Punk closed his eyes, feeling the burden of Lees cluelessness sink down on him. "Ah. Lee, look-"

"No, **you** look!" he pressed furiously, his voice heightening a little. "I don't know who the Hell you think you are but- give her to me, now! What are you even doing with her? And whyare you-"

"Lee!"

AJ flew into the lounge, having heard his frantic yelling. He was promptly silenced by the state of his big sister's clothing.

"Have you...? With him? _Here_?"

"Whatever you're thinking-" AJ threw back firmly, with a dangerous look. "- **don't.**"

But Lees anger swelled again and he screeched; "Do you even know who he is?"

"Of course I do." AJ scoffed. "Do you think I'd hand Freya to anyone?"

"He's the guy from the cafe, asking all the bloody questions. He said he knew you-" he continued, with a disgusted glance. "Guess I didn't realise how much."

"Alright, _stop._"

"No! What's he doing here... like _that_?"

Punk cleared his throat awkwardly, embarrassed for perhaps the first time ever about his state of undress. "Yeah, I should really-" And he moved forward, ready to hand Freya over. But AJ defiantly blocked his path, glaring at her little brother.

"No you shouldn't." She told him, her eyes fixed upon Lee. "He's going to hear us out."

Lees laughter was cold and forced, almost a shriek. "Like Hell am I! I can't _believe _you, April. I've stuck by you through everything and-" he shook his head in disgust, unable to comprehend it. "What about Phil, huh, what about him?"

Feeling herself colour a little, AJ bowed her head and laughed gently.

Even Punk couldn't help but be a little amused, feeling the smirk flicker in the corner of his mouth. "Lee, listen-"

But he held up his hand to silence him. "No! I won't _listen_. You know **nothing.**"

"Oh he does."

"Yeah? You manage to fill him in on the hell we've been through while you were tearing the clothes off his back then?"

The frustration flared. "I'm warning you, Lee..." AJ hissed with a warning thrust of a fingertip. "-_once _more-"

"April..." Punk said softly, stepping up beside her with Freya still in his arms, more unsettled now by all the commotion. "...it's ok."

She sagged at his words, groaning quietly. But Lee was unmoved by her lack of energy to fight and rounded again on the stranger that held her niece. "How is it ok? C'mon, you enlighten me! You're some... stalking weirdo... stood half naked in my house with my niece in your arms! Now she doesn't trust any one with her, and there you are, some stranger, so you tell me, **how **is that ok?"

"Because, Lee... _I'm _Phil. Hey."

As his words hit, Lee fell back onto the balls of his feet, mouth hanging agape and shaking a little he was so stunned. "You're Phil?" he spluttered, his gaze whizzing madly between him and a relieved, if not a slightly bashful looking AJ. "**The **Phil?"

"Well, assuming there's only ever been one... yeah."

"But..." Lee struggled with the words, hating how thickly the ones he managed came out. "...you're dead."

Punk saw AJ wince and he immediately hated how pained she looked. But he wasn't about to lie.

"Yeah, technically, I died a while ago. Three times actually."

This time, she physically flinched and instinctively raised her frightful eyes to his face, her bottom lip trembling. Punk blanched his own and looked away.

"She thought they'd killed you." Lee argued fiercely, reluctant to let his guard drop.

"They had pretty much."

"But you're **not **dead..."

"No." He smiled weakly, knowing he was still extremely suspicious and rightly so. "I know."

"Why not?" he pressed, inwardly cursing how childish he sounded, but these questions were so urgent. "_Why_?" he demanded again after an unwelcome beat of silence. "My sister broke her heart for you! You ever watched that? Have _you_ever bothered to pick up the pieces?"

"Lee-" AJ pleaded. "-don't. Please d-"

"No! The bastard **should **be dead, April, for everything he's done to you... to Freya!"

Punk glanced down at his writhing daughter. "You want her? Take her. Go on. It doesn't change the truth of it does it?"

"The truth? Jesus Christ, you don't know the meaning of truth!" Lee spat as he bundled his niece protectively closer, at a loss as to how he was meant to make Freya stop howling, but being too angry to care. "You've lost your fucking _mind._"

"No I haven't." AJ replied sadly. "I love him and she needs him."

"She's got **us**."

"He's her _dad_." she hissed back stubbornly. "What's the matter with you? You're supposed to be the one that knows how I-"

But it was Punk that cut across her. "But it's easier to sympathise with a dead man, right Lee?"

"Don't _talk_ to me." he replied venomously, turning away only to turn back a moment later, struck by a new argument that simply would not wait. "Y'know... she **does **love you, whoever you are. And I... I used to think I'd wanna shake your hand if I ever saw you because you... you saved her life, you gave her Freya. But I don't think you care."

"Didn't think you would." he said simply, unfazed by his nastiness.

"Because _this_ is a year later. You _destroyed _her. She thought... we all thought it was them... hurting you like that, but it's you, because what, you turn up... few sweet nothings and she gives it up just like last time-"

Incensed, April hissed threateningly; "If you didn't have my daughter in your arms..."

"You'd what?"

"You were supposed to _understand_!" she howled.

"And I'm trying!" Lee insisted desperately. "But how I am meant to understand that he can do that and you just... forgive him? Everything you went through because of him AJ, thinking it all meant something-"

"It does. It... will."

"How? When? A week before Jacks lot tear down the door to finish off what they started?"

"That isn't gonna happen." Punk said firmly.

"Oh right, and how'd **you **know?"

"Dead man walking?" he growled in frustration. "I don't think so. They aren't going to go looking for it, not after..."

He checked himself just in time, but Lees eyes flashed dangerously and Punk knew he had already understood what he had planned to say.

"After my dad, you mean?"

He wouldn't look back at him.

"_Is_that what you mean?"

"You're upsetting Freya!" AJ cried out desperately, practically having to beg her daughter from her brothers rigid arms. She held her little body close, cooing into her soft mop of hair and murmuring; "It's OK, angel, Mommy's here now, shhh-shhh-shhhh. It'll be alright!" She began to pace in an effort to soothe her daughter, but was made even more frantic when she caught the way Lees glare was refusing to leave Punks face. "There's things you don't know, Lee." she whispered awkwardly against Freyas warm crown.

"Well obviously!" he retorted hotly.

"About _Dad_. It's him you need to be firing questions at alright?"

"I don't need to do that."

"Oh believe me, you do." AJ answered bluntly, turning towards Punk and handing him Freya. "Because he's the only one that's kept this family apart. Remember that nurse, sending that medical team? Me asking those police officiers if they'd found the-"

She bit hastily into her lip to keep the word back and glanced painfully at her lover for a moment, who looked guiltily away and instead concentrated on soothing their little girl. It felt more natural every time he tried, even if it did physically hurt him to hear her so upset.

"No-one ever said anything about it again did they? And that's because there was nothing to find. _Think _about it Lee, all that time it was just you and me at the hospital, where was Dad?"

"Looking for you!"

"Yeah." she bit back sarcastically. "Or maybe, he was the one tearing the shirt off Phils back eh? Knowing it was covered in blood and shoving it in that envelope for my viewing. Oh, I felt loved."

Silent with the confusion, Lee shook his head desperately. "No! He wouldn't."

"He did." Punk assured her guiltily. "I didn't know _what_ was going on. I... thought I was _dying_. It obviously seemed better that way. He got me sewn up in some private hospital, I've been in Puerto Rico ever since."

"But... if he thought it was better... why didn't he just _leave _you to die?"

Punk shook his head, baffled. "I honestly don't know."

AJ, her eyes half closed as the moments of painful recollection and deep concentration passed by, suddenly jolted. "I do." she said certainly. "I said... when he took me away... that I'd never forgive him... if- if Phil died."

"But that's what we thought."

"Yeah." she agreed bitterly. "But he knew different. I bet that must have levelled out his conscience. Thinking he was doing some right while he kept us all apart, I don't know."

Punk looked up, still looking decidedly guiltily as he methodically rubbed Freyas back. "I just think... he wanted better for you. If you could have... forgotten then... you could have had so much... better."

AJ listened, unmoved and returned the simplest of answers. "I have Freya."

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**Next chapter is the last :)**


	49. Chapter 49

**Ok well here we go. The last chapter. Thank you everyone for all the reviews, follows and favourites. You are all awesome, from the bottom of my angst ridden heart, I appreciated every single one :)**

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"I know." Punk nodded sadly, feeling guilt press against his ribs again. "I just... this wasn't the way you wanted it."

AJ just looked at him, her eyes stony. She began to nibble thoughtfully at her lip and then released a soft, sad sigh, before asking; "No? I had Freya because she was _yours_-"

"But I could have been anyone... someone better..."

"Better?" she mused. "You mean you're not? You mean you've still got murdering scum like Jack, like John, like Pierre breathing down your neck, telling you what to do with body and mind every second of the day? Have you?"

"April-" he answered her gently, looking anxiously over at Lee, who looked pained and confused all at once. He tried to move foward, just a few steps, but AJ moved defiantly back, awaiting his answer. "Don't do this to yourself."

"Why shouldn't I? Hasn't left me."

"Well, they have. Ok? It's done... they think we're both gone."

"Yeah? So what if I turned right now and said I never wanted to see you again. Would you go?"

Punk looked definitely hurt, but knew he had no choice but to consider the seriousness of her words. "If you meant it. Yeah."

"So where would you go?"

He glanced down and after a brief silence, mumbled heavily; "Zacks."

"Zack?" AJ echoed, her face creasing in confusion. "The same Zack that you-"

"Mmmm."

AJs mouth hung agape. "I'm surprised he let you near."

But Punk was unfazed by her cold tone. He knew it was not meant. There was too much for her to try and order in her head all at once. He simply smiled and replied lightly; "He said the same about you actually."

And though she was mildly affronted, she couldn't help but smile. "How is he?"

"He's good... yeah."

"So... how come a guy you almost managed to kill once is allowed to know you're alive and I'm not?"

"Zack... got it. He knew what the risks were darlin'. I didn't want you to... be part of that. I still don't, but I'm just... well, actually, I'm dead and buried."

AJ flinched. "You are?"

"Mmmm. Chicago somewhere I think."

Lees crisp voice cut across the pained silence that encircled the lovers. "Did my Dad organise that? How original..."

AJs chest constricted as the force of Lees words hit her. Her eyes began to itch with the threat of tears as she looked pleadingly over at Punk. "Please tell me he didn't..."

But he avoided her eye, mumbling; "I'm sorry."

She felt her stomach lurch. "The sick bastard. He knows how much I wanted the chance to- I couldn't even... call you Freyas dad."

Punk stepped forward, brow furrowed in confusion. "Why not?"

AJ looked up at him and laughed bitterly in his face. "Because I'm not your wife. That's why. I couldn't get hold of your birth or death certificates, so I couldn't name you on her birth certificate and because you weren't there to sign it. I felt so stupid - great big "Unknown" where your name should have been. It's about the only time having Freya made me feel as dirty as it sounded to everyone else. I felt like such a... whore. Even though I knew... I _knew _she was yours, no-one listened to me." She twisted her hip and glanced anxiously over at Lee, who, happily, smiled softly. "Lee was the only-"

"I know." Punk whispered. "You said."

"Can't just be normal can it? Me, you and Freya. It isn't going to happen because you're not even you anymore."

He spluttered sadly on a laugh. "Alright, so maybe we can't be conventional- I've got no right to stand here and ask you to trust me, but... I just can't stand to be frozen out of your life anymore. I need to be around you, even if you won't let me be _with _you."

Her eyes darkened and she said stiffly; "You haven't asked."

"There's no point. I can't give you and Freya everything you even need right now, not even thinking about everything you deserve on top. But I'll get there, ok? Just... don't ask me to walk away, because I can't do it. I don't want to be the person you remember, I don't want you to remember. I want to give you better, you and our daughter. I just... I don't know how right now."

"Alright." she replied, releasing a gentle breath. Then she turned back towards her brother, outstretching her arms for her baby daughter. Lee frowned, but AJ spoke over him. "Go and find Dad for me Lee. I think we need to talk."

Lee nodded and reluctantly handed his niece back over, slipping out of the room and through the front door.

AJ held her daughter close against her chest, as if she had not held her in a year. Punk smiled lovingly at seeing them together again and cautiously stepped up to her, letting his arms slide around her waist only when he saw that she did not move away. AJ leant back against him, her weary head rested on his chest and she murmured; "Would you rather we forget... us? Because... I did plan to get over you one day, only... she came along and it didn't happen."

"Good." He bowed his head and let a soft kiss in her hair, but then chuckled sadly; "God, that sounds selfish darlin'... I'm sorry. Guess I'm just not used to meaning... something to someone."

"I know."

"Can I... take her?"

Smiling coyly, AJ dutifully laid her daughter in her daddy's arms. "I told you, you don't need my permission to care for her."

But Punk looked doubtful. "Yeah well, I know I'm going to be asking until I get it right."

She tilted her head thoughtfully. "What makes you think you haven't already?"

"Because I don't trust myself. How can I after everything you- everything I... I should have known not to agree to what your dad-"

But AJ shushed him, shaking her head. "None of this is really about him, you know it isn't. Don't give me excuses Phil, I've never been able to stand them. Please, just give me reasons."

"Alright. Maybe I don't think you should trust me either. But you're stood there asking if I can make myself forget you, and the answer's no. I can't. I know I have feelings for you and that's something that's so new and so good, I can't reject that when you're the one that pretty much gave up your whole life just to have her in your arms. It just seems that whatever I do, on some level, I'm being selfish."

Dumbstruck, AJ shook her head again, taking in the way Punk held Freya so tenderly, as if she were made of china. "But she's your _daughter_. She needs you. We both do. And I know I can't stop you going back if you want to, I'm just saying, I'm still going to be here, feeling like this."

Punk looked back at her with some kind of awestruck wonderment in his eyes. "I've never known anyone think as much of me as you do. You saw the truth April, how can you still-?"

"Because I already knew you were different. You might not have done until recently, but I did. Round about the time you had me against the wall by the throat-"

He flinched shamefully and pretended not to hear her, but she kept talking.

"'No point in making yourself miserable April. Me and you... we've got Jack for that.' That's what you said and in that _second _I knew there was no-one in the world that wanted to be less like you than you did. You wanted to live a different life, you wanted to be better. And Freya... she's the last chance for both of us-"

"You'd be alright..." Punk pointed out, but she laughed him off.

"My life has been screw up after screw up since I was about eleven years old. I don't want live like that anymore. Please Phil, let's just be different... just once."

"And you think it'll work out that way do you? Me and you? Freya? You actually think we'd hold fast?"

"Well I never let go."

"I had no choice." he reminded her sadly.

"But you have a choice now. I'm not asking you to never make mistakes again, we're human. I'm _begging _you not to leave us again. I can't take that. Whatever we work out, whatever we don't, I still want you in my life-"

Cradling Freya, Punk felt a shiver of gratitude, of hope, coarse through his body, but it departed in a jolt as the front door slammed and Frank tore like an animal into the lounge, followed by a frightened looking Lee, who preferred to shuffle from foot to foot in the hallway and stay out of the firing line. He seemed to feel he had said plenty already.

AJ bit anxiously into her lip as she took in her father's thunderous look, the way he seemed to convulse at the site of Punk, still only half dressed, his daughter held safe in his arms. She summoned all her courage, if only to greet him.

"Hello Dad."

"What the **hell** is _he _still doing here, Princess?"

Punk took it upon himself to answer, a stony expression sweeping his face as he looked unkindly at Frank. "I'm looking after my daughter. Only I know you don't really know what that means!"

Seeing Frank lunge forward in anger, both AJ and Lee threw themselves forwards, yelling for clarity. It was AJ that managed to block his path, thereby shielding her lover and their daughter, who began to bawl in all the noise in upset.

"Why don't you _get_ it, Dad?" she seethed. "This is **not **the answer!"

"Oh, but _this _is?" he yelled back, glaring at Punk.

"Shouldn't you be able to answer that?" AJ demanded contemptously. "After all, it's **you **that told him to play dead, it's you that buried him isn't it? You saw how much I was hurting... you knew how badly I wanted to name him on the birth certificate, to call him Freyas dad and you fed me lie after lie after lie! Still, must have come easy after your own little absence eh? Who was weighing down the box this time, because I think we can all see it wasn't Phil!"

"Does that even matter?"

"Course not. But then nothing does to you, does it? I told you how I felt about him, I told you _everything_ and you just wouldn't **hear **me! Tell me you're sorry, tell me or I'm gone!"

Frank jolted and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Gone where?"

"Does that matter?" she fired back.

"Well yes actually. You can't seriously be considering doing a moonlit flit with _him_."

AJ, however, remained defiant. "And why wouldn't I, Dad, hmmm? I **love **him."

Frank turned his head away in disgust and laughed coldly. "Course you do Princess. Just like you loved the brothers across the road, just like you loved whats his face from college, or that Daniel fella- it's always love and in the end, it means nothing does it?"

"No, you're right. Except it's different with Phil and you know it is. Because _in the end_ we had a **child** together. And I have no right to keep the two of them apart. So you tell me, what the hell did you think you were _playing _at?"

"I was doing what was best."

"No you _weren't_. You've never thought about doing what was best, not for anyone else but yourself. I reckon you did this so you keep me here, to make me back into your little girl again. But it's never going to happen Dad, don't you see? I have my own little girl now and I want her to be happy. I want her to have her dad and yes, I might be a fool Dad, but I want to believe Phil and I have a future too."

"Oh yeah, I bet. Because Phillip here is really the kinda man that's gonna work a nine-to-five to give you and Freya everything you need isn't he? The Firm gonna offer him a cushy little desk job is it?"

"I'm well out of that." Punk growled darkly. "It's because of you I can't even be myself anymore."

"You never wanted to be yourself in the first place boy-" Frank sneered.

"No, alright, I didn't. Is that why you wouldn't finish me off? Is that why you decided it was better I live the kinda hell I've been living this past year? To make me suffer? Keep going without her... without the daughter I didn't even know _existed_?!"

"Why didn't you, Dad?" AJ pressed in a persistent whimper. "Why did you bother to help him at all just to lie to me? I don't understand..."

Frank hung his head again and licked guiltily at his cracked lips, mumbling his words almost in the hope that AJ would not come to hear him. "You said you wouldn't forgive me... if he died."

"And I never have." She assured him in a venomous hiss. "Only he _isn't_ dead is he Dad? Was that enough for that twisted conscience of yours then? Even though you were spending every day in your lying _ignorance_, pretending not to notice while I broke my heart every day! That's... **sick**, Dad. I mean, how was it supposed to work? Was he scheduled to do what you did? Spring out of his grave decades later... maybe when Freya was packed off to uni somewhere?"

Frank shook his head fiercely and growled; "He was meant to stay _away_."

"But where's the incentive? You lied to us both Dad, simultaneously, when we could have been together... with our daughter... like a family."

"You have a family Princess, here, with me."

"I don't want to be around you anymore." she surmised sadly. "You sicken me. And my daughter deserves better."

"He'll never give her that."

"I'll **love **her!" Punk threw back angrily. "You never have, have you? What's she ever done to deserve that? She's just a baby for fuck's sake!"

"Yeah. _Yours. _Daughter of scum, of lowlife."

"**No!**" AJ yelled again, raising her hands to silence her father and block out his words as they came. You're **not** going to do this anymore Dad, do you understand? You are not going to dictate to me because I'm sick of it! Have you really forgotten what I went through there? They stole me from my home... my family. And you... you did the same to Phil when you kept him from Freya and me. Dad, why won't you see... Phil saved my _life_ in that place. More than once. I nearly killed myself, did you know that, did you ever _listen_? I climbed up onto the roof, over the side and I would have let go if Phil hadn't been behind me, telling me I had to go home to Lee... and to _you_! And sometimes, I look at you and I think I should have told Phil to let go of my hand and let me fall. Sometimes I think it would have been better that way."

"How can you say that?" Frank questioned in a shattered, horrified tone.

"Because you stole it away. You stole Phil away, the chance for me to be _happy _I was having his baby. I'll probably never have that chance again. What you did... What you did is... unforgivable."

There was a beat of silence and AJ scanned her father's face for a flickering of regret. She saw it, but was not pacified, because she knew she would never know what part of her misery he honestly regretted causing. She could see now how undoubtedly warped his mind was. He had hidden Punk away for her sake it seemed, to save her from Jacks threat, but then had selfishly decided that Punk was never again to meet with her, or indeed his own baby girl.

"But you know I'm not going to go anywhere. You know I'm not just gonna flounce out. Because I'm a mother and my baby... she's always going to come first. I'm not sure I can expect you to understand that but I hope you can. So I'll stay here with you and Lee until..."

"Until?" Frank croaked, stricken.

"Until Phil is ready for us... Freya and me."

"Princess, you can't expect-"

"I can." she interrupted sharply. "And I do. I never told you he was perfect Dad. But my God, he was the best you could have hoped for me in that kind of world. The day you came... oh God, you didn't see... you were still yelling for me on the other side- John, the guy with the- he turned it on me. I wouldn't leave. But Phil... he shielded me... told me to go with you. And I didn't want... I didn't want to because that isn't what he promised me... up on the roof... we were supposed to leave _together_. He didn't try and get the gun. Not at all. He just made sure I was ok, and then he went. He laid his life down for me Dad... and for our baby, without knowing she was there. But he still did it and the proof's still here, look-"

AJ turned back to Punk and tenderly pressed her bunched fingertips against his shoulders, lovingly tracing the silvery line of the wound.

"First shot..." she observed distantly, her voice beginning to waiver as she spoke. "... there was blood everywhere, I could feel it on my skin. And-" AJs hand brushed the bottom of Freyas tiny foot as she caressed along the larger wound she knew marked his stomach. "Second. I... I still have nightmares. Hearing it. Thinking about the pain. But you saw more of that than I did, didn't you Dad and yet you still... hate him so much and you have no **right**. You're as guilty as any of them there with Phil and me. You played with lives just to cause hurt... and you didn't even _care _that you were ripping me apart in the process. And I knew that before I even met Phil. It took you too long. You barely cared I was missing-"

"That's not **true**!" Frank thundered, his voice raw like a wounded animal. But AJ was beginning to feel something close herself.

"It's **all** true!" she screamed back, tears overpowering her and causing her to splutter. "Phil was the only person in all that horrible time that was real, _Lee_ is the only one that cared what I was feeling. But now you have to care Dad, because I'm telling you I love him and if you don't want to believe he feels the same, just remember the mess you found him in, because he did that for me, knowing you never would!

"I'm done dad, this is it", AJ sighed, thinking clearer than she ever had before.

"I don't need you anymore."

* * *

**So that's that. AJ has decided that her dad just isn't worth the hassle anymore. I know that this has been one hell of an angsty fic. And I have left it open on what happens to AJ and Punk, whether or not they will be together. I have one question. Would you like me to continue for a few more chapters to find out? If I continue it will be set months, maybe years from this chapter. I have a few ideas swirling around but it's up to you guys if you'd like to see more? Let me know what you think and once again thank you for reading :)**


	50. Chapter 50

**Gosh! I received a massive response on continuing for a few more chapters. AJ and Punk have been on a rough journey and should have their happy ever after moment right? I'm not so good with all the love and romance stuff but I will try my best to give them and you wonderful readers the ending that you deserve. So here's chapter 50! And the beginning of AJ and Punks journey for a happy ending...Hopefully. Thanks for reading :)**

* * *

Things had been difficult at first. Admitting that you didn't need your father anymore but still living under the same roof proved awkward. So when the opportunity arose in the form of a two bedroom apartment on the other side of the city, AJ, couldn't get out of there quick enough. She kept to her word. Her and Freya moved far from that house and further from her dad. And again, true to her word, she waited until Punk was ready for them. Dropping by when he could, always making sure he was around to put Freya to bed. Their relationship still undetermined, they fell into a pattern of Punk occasionally staying the night. Sleeping right next to AJ, but leaving before she woke. That way, they could both avoid the awkwardness that lingered after their passionate nights together.

The fact that AJ had removed herself and Freya from Franks controlling hold. There was nothing stopping them from being together now. And they both knew it. So why weren't they? The night Punk had returned still floating around deep in their consciousness. He was still believing that he had something to prove, knowing he was no where near the man AJ deserved. And AJ..well she still had reservations about Punks feelings for her. Did he really want to be with her? Was he only around for Freyas sake? Why hadn't they solidified the nature of their relationship yet? Christ. It had been six months already. He hadn't even told her he loved her. Not including the night he decided to come back from the dead. From that night the L word hadn't passed his pierced lips.

Her fears were amplified after an argument over their sleeping arrangements. It had been the first real argument between the two. AJ was tired of the same thing occurring. Punk would arrive, put Freya to bed, cuddle up to AJ, which would end with them having sex and he would leave before she woke. Did he not feel the same as she did? Did he not want to stay? She'd had enough and was calling him out, wearing her heart on her sleeve. And Punk being Punk didn't take well to that, got defensive and stormed out leaving AJ alone and in tears. Maybe putting all her hopes into Punk deciding that this was everything he wanted, that she was everything he wanted was a big mistake.

Kicking at the sheets, AJ rolled over for about the fiftieth time, trying to fall asleep. She was practically sick with exhaustion. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was well after two a.m.

Groaning, she rolled over yet again, burying her face in her pillow. This was ridiculous. She'd spent the last ten years sleeping by herself – just because Punk had been in and out of her bed the past six months shouldn't mean things would be any different.

She was obsessing about earlier that night, and she knew it. She also knew it was pointless – it had already happened, and she couldn't do anything to change it.

The funny thing was, she thought as she pulled her face out of her pillow and flopped on her back, was that she wasn't even sorry. Even though she hadn't exactly admitted her feelings in totality, he'd gotten a glimpse into her heart and she felt a little relieved. Things had seemed different today, that was a fact, but... he ran, anyway.

Still... she was alone now. And even though part of her had been relieved to have a moment alone with her thoughts, it still stung that he'd reverted back to defensive arsehole Phil and left and gone back to Zacks. It had still felt like a form of rejection, no matter how she tried to rationalise it.

Shoving her heels down the mattress, she slid the sheets from her body and sat up in a huff. She had to be at work in five hours and she was going to be a mess. Punk was probably sleeping like a baby.

The knock at the door made her jump.

Sliding from the bed, she walked cautiously down the hallway towards the door and pressed her face to the peephole to see the person she couldn't get off her mind standing on the other side. Frowning, she opened the door slowly, tilting her face up to look into his eyes. "Hello," she said softly.

"Did I wake you?" he asked hoarsely.

She shook her head from side to side, blushing.

He nodded, his keys dangling from his fingers. "Couldn't sleep?"

She shook her head again slowly.

"Me neither," he said softly.

Her breath hitched and he stepped into the room, pulling her close, his lips against her temple. "You look tired," he murmured close to her ear.

"I'm exhausted," she moaned. "And I couldn't sleep at all."

He put his arms around her, picking her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, laying her cheek against his shoulder as he walked slowly down the hall towards the bedroom. Pressing her face against the skin of his throat, she let her eyes flutter closed. He set her gently onto the bed her back facing him.

She heard him as he shed his clothes, draping them over the chair. When he peeled back the covers, she clenched her eyes shut, unmoving.

"April?" he whispered.

She didn't answer, but she curled herself up more tightly, giving the fact that she wasn't asleep away.

"April, I'm sorry," he said softly. "I shouldn't have left. I should have stayed and talked to you. It's just – you caught me off guard with your accusation. It isn't about me being here for Freyas sake. That's not why I'm here."

Reaching out slowly, he touched her bare back, and a tear slipped down her cheek. "_April_..."

She hitched in a breath, but still didn't turn around, unsure of what to say.

Slowly, he began to trace a line down her back with his fingertip. He came back up, dragging a horizontal line on the top and bottom.

When he did it again, tracing the shape of an L, her breath caught, realizing he was spelling letters. As his finger drew an oval over her back, her eyes watered, her heart starting to pound. As the letters came, one after another, she could barely breathe.

**_I love you_**.

* * *

_**I love**_**_ you_.**

Clenching her eyes tightly shut, AJ tried desperately to control the rapid pounding in her chest as Punks finger slowly slid from her back to the sheets. Tears bulged behind her eyes, threatening to burst, and she inhaled on a ragged little breath.

And all of a sudden, when he was telling her what she'd longed to hear all these long months, she found herself unable to form words. Seconds ticked by, strung out between them, and she suddenly saw a million moments with him flash in front of her – the sparkle in his eyes as he tugged her towards him, the flash of his dimple, the strength in his body when he held her.

**_I love you_**.

She nearly shook with fear. _How do you react when you're suddenly handed what you want most? Do you grab it and hold it close? Or do you run?_

But AJ did neither. Unable to speak, yet unable to push him away, she finally turned towards him, her eyes full of tears.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, his voice thick with emotion. "I should have stayed, I should have –"

She cupped his face, silencing him with a fierce kiss. He trembled slightly at the touch of her lips to his, and she realized that, despite his admission, he was probably as terrified as she was for what she was going to say or do, and greatly welcomed the chance to lose himself in her body.

Wrapping his arms tightly around her, he pulled her sharply against his body, his right hand moving to the back of her head as his tongue dueled with hers. Gasping against his kiss, AJ struggled with his t-shirt, tugging on it impatiently until he pulled back enough to let her strip if from his torso.

Flipping her on her back, he caught her mouth in a frantic kiss again, his hands searching frantically for the edge of her panties. Looping his thumbs in the waistband, he hauled them down her legs, moving between them. She grabbed fistfuls of his hair as he tried to pull back, dragging his mouth back to hers, moaning against his kiss. Gripping the edge of his boxer-briefs, she tugged fiercely, dragging them down and reaching between their bodies. The rumble deep in his throat sent a lightning bolt between her legs and she thrust her tongue more deeply inside his mouth.

Finally ripping his mouth from her own, he pressed frantic kisses along the column of her throat and collarbone until he reached the valley between her breasts. As he circled the tip of his tongue around her nipple, teasing her, her hips surged forward and her back arched. Her fingers digging into the mattress, she moaned his name.

**_I love you_**.

His mouth fastened over the tip of her breast and she cried out. Desperate to touch him herself, she wrapped her arms around his waist, dragging him closer. Shimmying down from underneath him, she pressed hot, open-mouthed kisses along his colourfully inked chest as he supported himself above her. Her hand disappeared between his legs again, and he gasped aloud as she wrapped her fingers around him.

"Oh, **god**, baby," he finally managed.

Her tongue flickered against his ribcage, and he rolled over with her until she was on top. Sliding her body down his own, she nipped at his hip, then moved lower to bathe him with the slow, luxurious slide of her tongue.

He surged underneath her, his hands clutching her body, and he dragged her up towards his face.

"No!" he pleaded. "I'll never last... and I want to be inside you."

She crashed her lips back down on his, and he rolled again until she was underneath him. This time his hands went between her legs, caressing her, and she bucked her hips in response. "Please," she moaned, finally speaking. "**Don't **stop!"

He captured her nipple in his mouth again as he continued to stroke her between her legs. Overcome, AJ was nearly in tears again.

**_I love you_**.

They both reached for the bedside table together in search of a condom, their hands grappling with the drawer. When Punks hand closed around the box, though, he found it empty.

"Fuck!' he said on a breath. "We can't be out!"

"There's more in the bathroom," she managed, scrambling out from underneath him. "In the drawer!"

Leaping from bed, her naked body sleek as a cat's, she rushed towards the door. She'd just pulled the drawer open by the sink and wrapped her fingers around the box when she realised he'd followed her into the bathroom.

Wrapping his arm around her waist, he spun her around and pulled her against him, his bare skin burning. Her mouth frantically searched for his as he backed her against the cool surface of the wall.

"Phillip!" she exclaimed in surprise.

"I couldn't wait!" he groaned against her mouth. "I couldn't wait, April."

His words had an incredible effect on her. The low tenor of his voice and his frantic need to reach her made desire bloom within her, making her glow with it from head to toe.

Struggling with the box in her hands, she pulled a condom out and ripped the package open, sheathing him with trembling fingers. Lifting her up with ease, he held her with one arm wrapped tightly around her waist, the other hand pressed against the wall as he surged into her.

Throwing her head back, AJ reached for the towel rack and the whole thing went crashing to the floor. Moaning, she clung to him, her hips falling into the same rhythm his commanded as his hand moved to support the concave of her lower back.

But he pulled away from the wall, heading back to the bedroom, still buried deep inside her. Pausing in the hallway to flicker his tongue against her throat, he pressed her against the wall again, her legs winding more tightly around his waist. When they reached the bedroom and fell onto the mattress together, she cried out, her mouth searching his out again and again.

"Look at me," he rasped, pulling away, his eyes burning into hers. "Please look at me!"

Clutching his body tightly, she tried to hold his gaze. And suddenly, despite being practically out of her mind with passion, she saw it written across his face.

**_I love you_**.

Unable to control herself, she began to cry, but unlike the times before he didn't try and stop her. Instead he clutched her more tightly, thrust into her more deeply, chanting her name, and she felt something start to come apart inside her.

"April!" he whispered suddenly. "Say you're mine... **say it**!"

Groaning, he hovered over her mouth, her breath against his lips. "God, yes, baby. Yes, I'm **yours**!"

"And I'm yours," he managed, just before they both went over the edge. "_Always_."

* * *

Freya splashed happily in the water while AJ kept a tight arm around her middle. She had needed a bath before bed, and considering half the time AJ bathed her she ended up soaking wet herself, she decided to kill two birds with one stone and drag the baby in the tub with her.

Taking care to not make the water too hot, AJ watched Freyas limbs jerk in the rubbery fashion of infants, splashing them both with water. The baby clearly enjoyed the tub, and liked it even better that AJ was with her. Her muscles aching from lugging herself and a baby around town all day, she enjoyed the feel of the warm water herself, and settled her back against the rim of the tub, turning Freya so that she was sprawled across her chest.

"What do you think, Sweetpea? Did we have a long day or what?"

Freya dunked her chin in the water pooling between AJs breasts and grinned, and AJ felt her heart swell at the sight of her dimple. Good lord, the baby knew how to tug on her heartstrings with a simple look.

She was more like Phil than AJ had ever realized.

Pressing a kiss to the crown of the baby's head, she sighed. "What am I going to do about him, little one? Huh? Because it's been eating me up all day."

She heard the front door open at that moment, and she lifted her head, her eyes drifting to the half-open door to the bathroom.

"April?"

Freya lifted her head at the sound of her daddys voice, turning her head successfully to look behind her at the door and AJ smiled at her response.

"We're in here," she called, reaching for the bottle of baby shampoo that she'd set by the claw foot tub.

Walking into the bathroom, Punk smiled at the sight of the two of them. "Wow, what a cute picture you two make."

She blushed, feeling heat rise in her at the sight of him. He had kicked off his shoes and was just wearing a pair of old faded blue jeans slung low on his hips and a white t-shirt. He looked good enough to eat.

He leaned up against the sink, letting his eyes drift over her. "It smells awesome in the kitchen. What did you make for dinner?"

She motioned for him to take the bottle of shampoo, and he sank down on his knees next to the tub, squeezing out some into his palm and rubbing it onto Freyas head while she held her carefully.

"Quiche," she said softly, peeking at him from under her lashes. "Spinach Quiche. You hungry?"

He nodded, sneaking a peek at her as he shampooed the baby's hair. "Yeah, I didn't really have time for lunch." Picking up a plastic cup, he gently poured warm water on Freya hair while AJ cupped her hand over her eyes.

"Well, let me just get the two of us dry and her in bed and I'll put it back in the oven to heat it up," she said, checking to make sure all the soap was rinsed from the baby's hair.

"What **I **think," he said slowly, reaching for a towel, "is that I should put her in bed, and you should add more hot water to the tub."

She arched a brow, attempting to look casual, but her heart slammed up against her chest. "Oh, really?"

Freya cooed excitedly when he reached for her with the towel, and he smiled at her before shooting AJ a sexy look as he reached between her feet, pulling the plug to get rid of some of the tepid water. "_Really_."

Wrapping the baby up in the towel and pressing her to his chest, Punk stood up and gave her one last heavy-lidded look before leaving the bathroom.

"Good Lord," she breathed, sinking down until only her nose and up were peeking out of the water. How one man managed to give her a look like that while simultaneously carrying an infant out of the room to put to bed was beyond all reason. Reaching up with her toe, she turned the faucet for the hot water and watched the tub slowly fill again with steaming water.

She was unsure whether Punks willingness to let her sleep this morning had more to do with the fact that she hadn't responded to what he'd said last night than her supposed need for sleep, and couldn't help but feel a little nervous to have lost Freya as her buffer.

It was her turn to say something, and she knew that. She just wondered if he was the one that was now attempting to distract her, not the other way around.

She turned off the faucet, watching the drops disturb the still surface of the water, the ripples heading towards her nose.

Punk returned, and she sat up quickly, water sluicing off her body. Switching sides so his back wouldn't be up against the faucet because he was taller, she pushed her damp hair off her face. "She's in bed?"

He nodded. "She seemed sleepy, so with any luck she'll just be out for the night." Grabbing the edge of his t-shirt, he pulled it over his head, tossing it onto the floor.

Her mouth went dry when his hands went to the zipper of his jeans; and when he pushed them down over his hips and realized he hadn't been wearing any underwear, she felt her cheeks flame.

Climbing into the tub, he leaned his back against the back of the tub and reached for her ankle, pulling her closer to him. "Come here," he said softly.

She let him tug her into his arms, and she threaded her damp hands into his hair. "Hi," she whispered.

"Hi," he murmured back, his hands sliding to her hips. "How was your day?"

"Good," she said absent mindedly as she kissed the side of his throat. "We went to the park and then we shopped for a little bit."

"Hmmm," he said, tightening his fingers around her hip bones as she let her tongue flicker near his ear. "Buy anything?"

"_Maybe_," she said wickedly, pulling back briefly to wink at him.

"Miss April," he said in mock surprise. "Shopping for lingerie with an **_infant_**? Shame on you."

She smiled. "Who said anything about lingerie? That was **you**, not me." She peppered kisses along his jaw. "What was your day like?"

He sighed, letting one hand drift from her waist and hang over the edge of the tub. "Long."

"Long in a stressful way?" she teased, sitting back between his knees, as he pulled them up to make room for her.

He just shook his head, reaching for her bar of rosewood soap and a washcloth. Lathering them between his hands, he reached out and started to massage her shoulder with the soapy cloth. Letting her eyes flutter closed, she let out a little moan.

He slid it down her arm, and when she opened her eyes, his were fixed on her face. "April," he said nervously. "About last night..."

Her breath caught for a moment, unsure what he would say. Did he want to take it back?

"I'm sorry about what I said," she told him quickly, looking down.

"Me too," he said immediately. "About everything. I wish I could take it all back."

Her head snapped up to meet his eyes. "All of it?"

He just looked at her for a moment, his eyes softening, and he shook his head back and forth.

Closing her eyes for a moment, she let her fear go to war with her heart, and she realised that this was her chance – her chance to grab her life, to be brave, to feel fully alive again. And when she opened her eyes, he was still there, his face full of worry and the fear of rejection written clearly across it.

She realised that her fear and her unwillingness to trust herself and his love was going to hurt them both, and that this partial life she'd had for so many years, this life on the edge with only a fraction of her heart, was no way to live.

"You scare me," she whispered, and he looked surprised. But before he could open his mouth, she continued. "Maybe I scare myself. I spent such a huge part of my life convinced that people left me because **I** didn't do what **they **wanted me to, that I wasn't the daughter or the girlfriend or the friend they wanted, that I disappointed them. That they loved me _conditionally_. And I tried so hard to be the perfect daughter, the perfect sister – the strong, independent woman who didn't need much, who wouldn't take from anyone."

He just listened to her, his body still, and she stopped herself from the urge to cover up, to hold herself at arms length.

"But then I met you," she said, resting her cheek against the side of his knee. "And I was... **me **again. Or maybe for the first time, who knows. I wasn't trying to be perfect. I let myself get mad, I let you see me cry, I let you see me sick and vulnerable."

Taking a deep breath, she went on. "And you...you **stayed**." Shaking her head in amazement, she felt her eyes start to tear up. "I was ugly to you, I insulted you... and yet here you are anyway. And I kept telling myself not to get too close, not to let myself need you, but..."

His fingers brushed against the curls that hung down against his leg from her hair, and with that simple, tender gesture, she found the courage to go on.

"But it's too late, Phil," she finally admitted, lifting her head from his knee. "I do need you. And not just for your help with Freya, but for **me**. I need you," she repeated, feeling a tear slip down her cheek. "And I'm so sorry I didn't say anything to you last night, that I just left you hanging until now when you put yourself out there like that."

"April," he managed, his voice thick. "You just –"

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you, **desperately**. And I have, for a long time, but I was scared to admit it, or worried you'd run if you realised how much I felt. So I buried it away, thinking it would keep it from getting any bigger."

She hitched in a breath. "But I was wrong, Phil. It kept growing, and there's no room left to deny it anymore. I can't pretend that what we are doing is ok now. I need more." She swiped at the tears running down her cheek. "I **love **you," she whispered again.

"Oh, April," he tried again, his voice breaking. "You should never have worried. I've loved you all this time, it feels like forever now, but I just wasn't sure I- I deserved to give you my love. I'm still trying to prove myself to you April. I wanted to do everything right this time. For you to get to know me, incase you realised I wasn't really what you wanted."

Overcome, she finally moved into his arms, her mouth searching out his. Hovering above his for a moment, she looked into his eyes and saw they were shimmering with wetness and smiled broadly.

He kissed her fiercely, his arms wrapping around her and water sloshed over the sides as she let herself fall against him. Laughing, he shifted and picked her up, dripping and smiling from the tub, and carried her towards the bedroom.


	51. Chapter 51

**Thank you for reading and reviewing :) Argh! I feel like I'm letting you all down with this romantic stuff. I seriously suck at it. Anyway.. Lets hope we might get PunkLee at Survivor Series tonight. 364days people!**

* * *

AJ clung to Punks damp shoulders, her fingers curling tightly as he headed down the dark hallway towards the bedroom. Droplets of water fell from the ends of her hair and landed on the hardwood floors, the tiny sounds of their impacts lost under the heavy sound of their breathing. When he reached the doorway, he paused, glancing down at her for a moment, and she saw the shimmer in his eyes.

"Do you think Freya's asleep yet?" he murmured.

She looked up at him through her lashes, her eyes bright. "I haven't heard anything yet," she said softly, blushing. "We'll just have to try to be quiet."

He smiled, his arms around her tightening. "You're the one that can't seem to be **_quiet _**most of the time."

Her eyes widened in surprise and embarrassment. "That's not true!" she exclaimed, her voice rising. "You can be loud, too!"

He clapped his hand over her mouth, his eyes full of laughter. "See?"

She kicked her legs slightly, and he laughed, replacing his hand with his lips as he kissed her deeply. "I'll just have to keep your mouth busy," he whispered when he pulled back slightly.

Her heart racketing in her chest, she blushed from head to toe as he made his way to the bed. Laying her gently across the top of the coverlet, he followed her down, his tongue flickering across her collarbone to catch the drops of water that still clung to her skin.

Shivering, she pressed herself against his warm skin, allowing his heat to radiate through her body. "Phil," she said, his name a mere breath on her lips.

Lifting his head, he met her eyes, his tongue snaking out to moisten his lower lip. "Yes?"

That simple familiar gesture made her body glow, made her heart jump inside her chest. "I love you," she whispered.

He hitched in a breath at her words, and he fumbled for her hand, pressing it to his chest. "April," he choked out. "You have no idea how good that makes me feel. I was worried that you might have changed your mind." He shook his head, his voice thick with emotion. "I never wanted -"

"Never wanted what?" she whispered, holding her breath.

"Never wanted to **need **you," he finished. "But you made it impossible not to." His eyes welled up along with hers, and he lifted her hand to press his lips to the tips of her fingers. "I thought if I made it clear to you that we weren't going to become anything more, my heart would understand it."

Trembling, she ran her fingertips along his jaw, and his eyes drifted closed for a moment. When they opened, she could see the tears there. "You've lost so much," he said softly. "I didn't think you'd want to try again, after you lost the man you loved, what happened with Jack and then disowning your dad..."

She shook her head, amazed at the words coming out of his mouth, at the vulnerability he as allowing her to see. "I didn't," she told him, her voice low. "I didn't ever **want **to try again, especially after Bryan hurt me the way he did." She pressed her lips together, holding back tears. "It's why I ran away, Phil. It's why I tucked myself away for so long."

His body above hers in the dark covered hers like a blanket, surrounding her with warmth and safety. Sliding his fingers behind her head into the thick wealth of her hair, he pulled his lower lip between his teeth. "So what was it? What part of you decided to let go?" he whispered. "What part of you wanted to try again?"

She just shook her head, a tear finally escaping. "There wasn't just one part of me, Phil. Every part, every part of who I am loves you." She took in a ragged breath, feeling her body begin to come apart at such an enormous admission. "I've never loved _anyone _like I've loved you, not in my entire life. And there's no defenses against a love like that."

The tear that slid down his cheek fell between her breasts, and she cupped his face tightly in her hands, her thumb wiping the dampness from his skin. "We've been through so much together. You're my best friend," she confessed. "And I love you, **so **much."

"I love you too," he managed.

Ducking her head down, she pressed her lips gently to his chest, feeling the thud of his heart beneath them. Sliding one hand down her side to her waist, he cupped the back of her head with the other, tugging her face to his, searching her mouth out hungrily.

Gasping at the swift invasion of his tongue, she arched her back, her head spinning from his drugging kiss. Pulling his mouth from hers, he kissed his way down her body, nipping with his teeth and bathing her with his he reached her hip, he wrapped his arm around her leg, this tongue flickering over her calf and his lips pressing to the inside of her thigh.

Rolling her hips in invitation, she wound her fingers into his damp hair, desperate to touch him herself. "Phil," she moaned as he ran his tongue over the cleft between her thighs. She surged against him, her breath coming out in tiny gasps as he teased her mercilessly, her hips curving into his hands.

The tension built within her, and just before she was about to go over the edge, he moved to her belly, his mouth open hotly against it as he made his way slowly back up her body. His mouth fastened over the tip of her breast, and she moaned loudly, about to cry out.

His hand covered her mouth quickly, and his eyes appeared above her, laughing. "Shhh, baby. Don't wake her up," he warned.

Letting out a muffled groan, she brought her hands to his waist, pulling him sharply against her, and he moaned himself at the feel of her against him. "What is it?" he whispered softly. "Tell me, April. Tell me what you want."

"I'll show you," she murmured, wrapping her arms around her waist, and rolling swiftly, bringing him underneath her. Straddling his hips, she threw her still-damp hair over her shoulder, the strands teasing the bare skin of her back. She could see the spidery stain from her wet hair against he pillow as she gazed down at him, her pulse quickening at the heavy-lidded look he was giving her.

"You are so beautiful," he said, his voice tight as he trailed a hand down the front of her. "And the way you make me feel, I don't even have words."

"Try," she murmured, rotating her hips, rewarded by his gasp at the way she rubbed against him.

"You make me feel **powerful**," he whispered, his eyes falling closed. "And weak in the knees, all at the same time."

She leaned down, brushing her lips against his taut stomach, and he arched his back.

"You turn me on more than any woman ever has," he confessed, his breath uneven. "All you have to do is look at me with those big brown eyes of yours and I'm a goner."

She could feel him hard against her, and she reached between them, teasing him lightly with her knuckles and he gasped.

"You make me hope for more, more than I ever had before," he finally choked out. "Christ, sweetheart, I love you..."

She had never heard words so sweet. Wrapping her fingers around him, he nearly exploded, and she quickly clamped her other hand over his mouth. "Shhh," she teased, her eyes bright. "Now who's being loud?"

He peeled her fingers from his mouth, his voice thick with desire. "Then kiss me."

She leaned down to comply, their lips meeting in a hot, open-mouthed kiss, and she undulated her hips against him again. Unable to control himself, Punk swept her beneath him, flipping her easily over on to her stomach. His lips fell upon her shoulder blades first, then followed the line of her back until he reached the two dimples at the base of her spine. Her fingers dug into the sheets, desire flaming at the lazy way he made his way down her body.

When he flipped her back over, she immediately locked her legs around his hips, arching against him, and he let his hardness drag against her. Gasping in response, she shook her head. "Phil, you-"

He kissed her again, cupping her face with his hand."April, it's okay. I just want to feel you. It's. I promise."

Moaning at the direct contact of their skin, she threw her head back, tossing it from side to side. "Oh my **god**!"

He dropped his head down to her breast, his tongue flickering against her nipple again and she nearly came off the bed, lifting her hips again in response. He kept up the rhythm against her until she was practically in tears, begging him to come to her.

Tugging open the drawer of the bedside table, he grabbed protection, ripping the packet open quickly with his teeth. Releasing his hips, she unlocked her legs, allowing him to sheath himself. Kneeling between her legs, he slid his right hand under her lower back, lifting her hips.

His eyes locked with hers for a moment, shining even in the darkness of the room. "April," he whispered, trembling slightly. "I've never..."

"Never what?" she asked, her voice strained.

"I've never... never made love saying I loved someone," he choked out. "You're the **only **one."

Her tears started flowing, and she did nothing to try and stop them. Holding her arms out to him, she called his name, and he entered her body as he reached for her, wrapping her tightly into his arms. Her hips rolling easily under his rhythm, she gasped, her lips searching for his frantically.

He reached between them, his fingers dancing against her skin, heightening the pleasure of every stroke. As she felt her orgasm crash over her, his name nearly burst from her lips, and he caught it with his kiss as he followed her over the edge.

* * *

"April?"

She turned over sleepily, catching a glimpse of the clock. 3:17. Startled, she rubbed her eyes blearily, looking at Punk. "What's wrong?" she asked, struggling to prop herself up on her elbows. "What is it?"

He sat up in bed, letting out a sigh. "I think we should get a place together."

Frowning, she looked around the bedroom. "Phil, we already have a place together."

He shook his head, running his hand through his hair. "No, I mean I think we should **buy **a place together."

Stunned, she fell back onto the covers, blinking. "What?"

He stayed sitting up, his back curving slightly as he continued to rub his eyes. "I suppose I should ask, I guess. Do you want to buy a house with me?"

She paused, her heart racing as she studied the arch of his back. Did she dare admit this much now - was it too early?

She sat up slowly, her arms coming around his waist as she pressed her cheek to his bare shoulder. "Phil," she whispered. "I want to do everything with you."

He turned his head, meeting her eyes. "What?"

She hesitated for a moment, feeling the blush rise to her cheeks, but then pushed it away, determined to be honest.

"I want all of that with you," she said slowly. "I want to own a house, be a family… I just…I didn't want to push you, to try and fit you into something I was hoping for if it wasn't what you wanted."

His eyes shimmered in the darkness of the room. "April, I – I often don't know what it is I want until it's right there in front of me. I never imagined owning a house and living with a woman or… being in love. I didn't know what that felt like, and now I do. This job at the gym, it's just the start of it. I don't have much saved right now but this is what I want."

She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, glancing down at the rumpled blankets around them. "We've just never really said… where this was going. The last time we talked about our relationship was the night you came back, and we said we'll see.. or you said that, actually."

He nodded. "I know that."

"And we've just admitted we love one another. But loving someone doesn't automatically mean a life together forever, it doesn't mean you're offering commitment or want a family. And I just… didn't want to push. This isn't ever how I pictured the two of us doing any of this."

He turned slightly, reaching for her and pulling her into his lap. "I hadn't pictured it, period. My idea of the future pretty much revolved around all the bad that surrounded me." He stroked her hair from her face, pressing a gentle kiss against her temple. "I'm nothing like I was before I met you."

She shook her head slowly, her fingers plucking at the blanket in front of her. "I don't think that's true."

He frowned, and she looked up into his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you were always this man, Phil. Sure, you covered a lot of it up with ego and bluster, but I don't think I **changed **you. I think maybe I just… allowed it all to come out, that now you're comfortable enough to admit you want certain things. You saw what your parents had, growing up."

"And I saw what happened to my da- to Jack, afterwards," he muttered, his eyes falling to his lap.

"True," she said, lifting his chin up so their eyes met again. "But I can't believe that would completely erase the desire to have that someday, to know what that might feel like for yourself."

He shook his head, slowly. "No," he whispered. "No, you're right, it didn't."

"You can't talk someone into being compassionate or loving, Phil. They are or they aren't. So many things come together to make a person who they are. My mom dying, Jack being a complete nutcase. You can't necessarily judge people on specific actions, or just look at a small period of time. Consistently, who you are day to day, is why I love you. You took a chance on me. And you dragged me out of a very deep, dark hole that I'd dug for myself, and reminded me who I am."

He kissed her gently, his fingers sifting through the strands of her hair. "I love you for the same reason. Thank you for not walking away."

Her smile widened slowly. "Walk away? They'd have to pry my cold dead fingers off of you. I love you too much to ever walk away again."

He shook his head, laughing. "That's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me."

She shoved him gently, laughing herself and trying to worm away, but he pulled her back into this lap, kissing her again.

Pulling away, she took a deep breath, gathering her courage. "So what are we saying exactly?" Her heart was a hummingbird in her chest as he looked at her, waiting to respond.

He cupped her face, his eyes growing more serious at her question, his thumb lightly stroking down her cheek. "I'm saying, I'm in this. I love you, it's you that has her hand wrapped around my heart, April. I know we haven't been together that long, but I don't believe there's some standard of time that's required to know this sort of thing."

She threw her arms around his neck, her eyes filling with a gush of fresh tears. "You have to be some sort of alien," she muttered.

He pulled back, studying her face. "What?" he asked, his voice full of amusement.

"You're just too good to be true, sometimes," she said slowly. "I'm not used to it, it seems so surreal."

He kissed her fingers gently, one by one. "I think this is how it's supposed to be. All those other moments, the ones in the past, they were just forks in the road, places to stop and rest before we finally got to where we were really going."

She shook her head, amazed. "Now **that **was the most romantic thing you've ever said. Today, at any rate."

He smiled slyly. "Well, it sort of said something like that in my fortune cookie from Wong's last night."

"Oh for god's sake!" she exclaimed, laughing. "You are shameless!"

"I still meant it," he argued. "And it didn't **exactly **say that, some of it came from me!"

She laughed even harder, trying to wriggle out of his arms, but he flipped her on her back, his body hovering over hers. "So… I'm off tomorrow."

She smiled, her arms coming around his waist. "Yeah?"

"So… want to go start looking for a house?"

"Tomorrow?" she asked, incredulous.

"You have a better time in mind?" he said, frowning slightly. "I thought you'd want to look right away, because –"

She cut him off with a kiss, her body arching up to reach his. "Tomorrow's great," she said between kisses, peppering them across his jaw. "Tomorrow is perfect."

"I'm thinking in the afternoon…" he muttered, his lips dropping to her throat, pressing feather light kisses against her skin.

Shivering, she smiled. "Oh? Do you have plans for the morning?"

"Yep," he said, tracing the edge of her ear with his tongue. "I'm going to be sleeping."

She moaned, her legs threading in with his at his touch on such sensitive skin. "Sleeping? All morning?"

He nodded lazily, his hand sliding up under her t-shirt to cup her breast. "Mmm hmmm… because I plan on keeping you up all night."

* * *

Brilliant white sunlight streamed through the windows as April bounced high into the air off the mattress, her hair floating around her shoulders, her arms held out from her body as if she were a bird with wings. Punk stood in the doorway, a towel swathed around his waist, and at the sight of her leaping gracefully into the air; he grinned.

"What on earth are you doing?" he asked, amusement rich in his tone.

She cocked an eyebrow, bouncing up again. "Just getting the lumps out of the featherbed," she said sweetly. She pushed hard off the bed with her feet, springing up and turning a quick somersault in the air, sending him a saucy grin as she continued to bounce.

He reached out with an arm, catching her mid-jump and snatching her out of the air. "Gotcha!" he said, his eyes full of light.

She let out a peal of laughter, wrapping her legs around his waist and leaning back, her long hair halfway to the floor as he spun her around. She had awoken feeling better than she had in years, her smile instantaneous. "Baby!" she said, breathless. "What should we have for breakfast?"

He paused in his spinning, his hand on her lower back bringing her back up to face him. "Hmmmm. Well, the way I see it, we have two options."

She nodded. "Okay…"

"Well, one, we can make breakfast here, then go meet the realtor."

Nodding again, she wiped a streak of shaving cream from his jaw. "Or…"

"Or, we can have sex again and then stop and get an egg sandwich from that deli on the corner and go meet the realtor." He grinned. "I, for one, vote for option number two."

She groaned dramatically. "**More **sex? I don't think I can **take **much more!"

He tossed her on the bed, ripping his towel off as he followed her down. "You sure about that?" he asked, his voice low.

Laughing, her tummy heaved underneath him. "Pretty sure."

"Hmmm…." Slipping his fingers around the edge of her knickers, he tugged them down her hips before settling himself between her legs, his kiss falling on her inner thigh. "Still sure?" he murmured.

"Mmmm… less sure…" she mumbled, her fingers falling into his hair.

He lifted his head for a minute, grinning widely. "Sandwich it is."

* * *

After the walking tour through the fifth house, AJ was starting to tire out. As the estate agent walked out of the front door towards the car ahead of them, she turned to him, grimacing. "Do you get the distinct impression that she is **not **listening to us about what we're looking for?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets, leaning towards her. "Ah, yes. At least, I think so. Did you tell her we were looking for a place with a mirrored living room? 'Cause I sure didn't."

She groaned, throwing her hands up in the air. "This is ridiculous. I'm going to tell her we're done for the day. We'll call someone else next week."

He nodded, following behind her as she approached the realtor.

Tapping the woman on the shoulder, she sighed. "Uh, Mrs. Lawrence? We're getting pretty tired, and Phil has to stop by the gym and check on a client, so we think we're going to call it quits, alright?"

The realtor spun around in her pink suit, her eyes wide. "Oh, no! No, you can't leave yet! I have the **perfect **house to show you! It's where we're going next!"

Punk winced, his hands on his hips as AJ cleared her throat. "Yeah, well, we may have to reschedule, like I said."

The realtor's face fell. "Oh, please, you have to see this property. I just got word while we were at the last house that the last offer fell through, and I just **know **it will be snapped up! You have to trust me."

The two shot each other skeptical looks but nodded slowly, feeling bad for her. "Okaaayyy…" April said slowly. "Just one more."

The house was not overly large, nor was it small. Covered with natural shingles and green trim, it had a winding walk to the front door and a wide expanse of lawn. A beautiful star magnolia tree was in the front yard, and April felt her heart leap. Something just felt right.

Walking slowly into the light-filled front room, April let out a small gasp. Glossy hardwood floors in a deep mahogany stretched from the living room to the dining room, where huge bay windows faced an overgrown garden. She barely heard the realtor's babble as she wandered dreamily though the first floor of the house. Small nooks and delicate jeweled windows bent light in beautiful patterns across the walls. Arches graced the entrance to each room, and the railing of the wide, winding staircase slid easily under her hand as she made her way up the stairs. She vaguely heard Punk asking the estate agent how many bedrooms were in the house as she reached the top step but didn't stop to hear the answer.

Letting her fingers trail along the delicately patterned wallpaper, she reached the first bedroom. The walls were a soft yellow, and one of them followed the slope of the roof. Sighing softly, she wandered down to what was clearly the master bedroom and her eyes widened. Large windows lined the walls, and between two on one wall was a round, stained glass window that cast a warm light across the room. Spinning on her heel, she raced down the hallway to the top of the stairs.

"Phil!" she called excitedly. "Phillip!"

He was behind her, having made his way up a back staircase. "Yes?" he asked, a grin on his face.

"This is our house!" she cried, barely containing her excitement, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Tell me you love it!"

He laughed at her obvious joy, simply nodding. "It's beautiful."

Clapping her hands, she could barely contain her excitement. Presenting her with his back, she hopped on, riding piggyback as he investigated the two spare rooms and the upstairs bath. When he reached the master bedroom, he turned his head, smiling at her.

"Oh, yeah. This is our house."

She pressed an enormous, wet kiss against the side of his neck, gazing at the shadow the leaves from the trees left along the wall.


	52. Chapter 52

**This chapter is a little mushy. I might be confusing people a little too. So they've found the perfect house and are getting ready to pack up and go. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)**

* * *

_4 Weeks Later..._

Punk paused on the stairs, his sleeves rolled up as he held one end of the bed frame. "Baby, you have to lift it higher, just by an inch or so."

AJ pushed her fringe off her forehead. "Sorry," she gasped. "It's heavy."

He grinned at her. "Well, you're the one who wanted this frame."

She sighed. "She needs a bed, Phillip. And this one has a guard that comes up so she won't roll out."

Smiling, he nodded. "I know that." He lifted the edge of the frame. "Come on, let's go."

Hefting up her side of the bed, they hauled it up the stairs and down the hall into the spare bedroom, placing it against the wall opposite Freyas old cot, and Punk picked up the mattress they'd already carried up and placed it on top.

Turning around, AJ dropped down into a squat, clapping her hands lightly, and Freya looked up with a grin. "You ready for bed, sweetie?"

She was amazed at the adaptability of the little girl, who let her lift her easily into her arms. "Let's get you into some jim-jams, alright?" she murmured as she headed down the hallway to grab the bag of clothing she'd dragged up before moving the bed. Tugging the new pajamas out one handed, the little girl propped against her opposite hip, she smiled as she pressed her small hand against her chest. "These are pretty cute," she whispered. "Your daddy sure can pick them."

"What can I do?" he asked from behind her.

She turned to see him leaning against the door frame, holding a can of Pepsi, and she smiled. "I was just saying you've got good taste in girls PJs."

His eyes twinkled, crossing the room towards her. "Absolutely I do," he smiled. Shifting Freya in her arms, she sat on the couch while Punk started clearing away the remains of the box that the new bed came from.

"I have to go to the gym tomorrow," he murmured. "I have three clients scheduled – are you going to be okay all day with packing?"

She nodded, "I think so, yeah,"

He sighed, standing up and following them down the hall with the baby. "Are you sure?" Taking Freya from AJ, he laid her in the cot for the last time. They were way too tired to make up her new bed tonight.

"Want us to come visit you at lunch?" she smiled at him over her shoulder.

He smiled. "Of course. Just call first, so I know you're coming.

* * *

Punk flicked off the lamp on the bedside table and they both waited a moment, Freya didn't make a sound. She felt his fingers grope for hers in the dark and pull her gently from the room and down the hall towards the bedroom.

As AJ pulled off her t-shirt, Punk dropped onto the edge of the bed, rubbing his scruffy face with his hand. "Wow," he muttered after a few minutes of silence.

She paused, walking towards him and got down on her knees on the floor, sitting back on her heels. "What is it?" she asked quietly.

He lifted his eyes to meet hers. "I'm a father now, aren't I?"

She sighed, picking his hand up in hers. "You already were one, Phil. You just needed to believe in yourself."

He nodded wearily. "I hope I get it right," he murmured.

AJ paused, tilting her head slightly. "You know what I love most about you?" she asked quietly.

He swallowed. "What's that?"

"You don't open up easily, you don't trust people immediately or maybe you don't always trust yourself, I'm not sure," she said slowly. "But when you do…"

She lifted his hand, pressing her lips to his fingertips. "Phil, when you give your heart to people, you give it fully, and it's beautiful. And I'm so lucky to be on the receiving end of that kind of love, and so is Freya. I have a every faith in you."

He didn't say anything, but his eyes glimmered wetly in the low light of the room. Leaning back up on her knees, she pressed her lips to his, and he wrapped his arms around her, tugging her up onto his lap onto the bed.

Her fingers went immediately to the hem of his shirt, tugging it gently up, whispering against the bare skin she revealed inch by inch, and he shoved her vest top straps off her shoulders.

An idea suddenly popped into her head, something that almost made he sway with the force of it, but she knew without a doubt it wasn't something to think over, to overanalyse the way she so often did, and she didn't even give herself time to let fear or doubt creep in.

"Phil," she whispered, pulling away slightly. "I have to ask you something…"

He pressed small kisses along her jaw, his fingers pulling at the zipper of her jeans. "What's that?" he breathed.

Lifting her hand to press it to his cheek, she let her eyes meet his, her heart pounding. He turned his head slightly, pressing a kiss to her palm. "April, what is it?"

She took a deep breath, smiling. "Will you… will you marry me?"

* * *

Punk simply blinked, stunned, her palm still against his lips where he'd kissed it, and AJs heart fluttered slightly in her breast as she tried desperately to hold onto her smile.

The seconds ticked by, and he inhaled a sharp breath, his eyes wide. Her hand slid from his mouth, and she was about to stand when he caught her by the wrist.

"Will I…what?" he asked raggedly. "Did I hear you correctly?"

She swallowed, feeling nausea sweep over her, the contents of her stomach beginning to churn. "Based on your reaction, I think you did, yes."

His mouth was half open, and AJ went to climb off his lap, her cheeks flushing with heat and embarrassment.

"Obviously you're horrified, so lets just forget that –"

But Punk tugged her back down. "Is this because of Freya?" he asked slowly. "You think we should be married now that we're moving in together?"

She felt tears prick at her eyelids. "Why would you assume that?"

He shook his head, still looking thunderstruck. "Because…" he said, glancing around the room. "Because you've never even mentioned it before. And then all of a sudden you just…" his voice trailed off. "I didn't even know you wanted to get married."

She arched a brow. Whenever she felt vulnerable, her temper inevitably returned to try and protect her. "Should I have given you some sort of warning, then? Is that it? Maybe in writing, perhaps?"

His eyes widened at her tone. "Are you angry with me simply because I'm surprised?"

AJ got off his lap, despite his best efforts to pull her back, standing with her hands on her hips. "I didn't say anything, Phillip, because I'm not one of those women who just wants to 'be married.' I didn't have a plan for someone to fit into. I just…"

She blinked back tears. "I just wanted to marry **you**."

Punk swallowed, standing up himself. "I feel like an idiot –"

"Well, you should," she muttered. "I guess I wasn't positive you'd say yes, but I certainly didn't think you'd look at me like I belonged in a straight jacket or something."

"April," he murmured. "That's not how I'm looking at you."

She crossed her arms across her chest, suddenly aware that she wasn't wearing a shirt. "Semantics. Besides, clearly you couldn't be more disinterested in the idea. So just forget I ever –"

He sighed deeply, reaching for her, and she stepped back, her body going rigid. She turned on her heel and left the room.

It only took a matter of seconds for him to chase after her, and he caught up with her before she'd even stepped fully into the living room.

"Are you kidding me right now?" he asked in a hushed voice, his eyes full of amazement. "I'm trying to talk to you and you just walk away?"

AJs eyes were as round as saucers. "You expect me to just stand there while you make it clear you don't want to marry me?"

He blinked in confusion. "I never said that."

AJ pressed her fingertips to her eyelids for a moment, taking a deep breath, and when she opened them, she could swear he was almost smiling. "What?" she snapped.

Punk shook his head slowly, and his dimples appeared suddenly. "You drive me crazy," he whispered.

Furious, she went to turn around but he caught her around the waist. "Nothing's ever simple with us, is it?"

She clenched her teeth. "I'm not in the mood to joke right now, Phil."

He held her close. "Neither am I."

She tried to wiggle out of his arms and he sighed. "April, you have to understand something about me. I want you to pay attention, because I might not always have the sense to tell you this, and knowing the two of us, it will certainly need to be repeated."

Pausing, she held still for a moment, listening.

"I don't… process my emotions the same way you do," he said slowly, his eyes soft. "I don't…respond as rapidly as you all the time. And you leap to conclusions way too quickly, baby. I can't always be right where you are exactly when you want me to be."

AJ inhaled on a breath, her eyes damp and ready to spill over, letting him speak.

"And…" he closed his eyes for a moment. "While you're angry and hurt and think that I'm rejecting you, I'm thinking…" he trailed off. "I'm thinking that I should have known you wanted to get married, that I should have asked you first…"

The tears spilled over, and she sucked her breath in, his arms still wound tightly around her waist, the ends of her hair brushing against her bare back. "You…what?" she asked, her voice sounding tiny in the room.

Punk sighed. "I guess I thought…I guess I thought I'd know that you wanted to get married. But you never mentioned it. I mean, you have to admit, we haven't exactly done things in order," he murmured. "We were taking care of a baby before we even said…" His voice trailed off as he glanced down for a minute, and then he raised his eyes to hers slowly. "Before I told you that I love you."

She shook slightly, amazed that the simple tenor of his voice and the tenderness in his eyes could still affect her in such a way.

AJ wiped at her cheek, feeling her tears smear across the butt of her palm. "Why did you think you had to be the one to ask me?"

Punk paused, not able to form an answer right away, and her lips curled up at the corner. "I suppose it's because you're the guy is that it? That it's your job or something?"

He half smiled. "Maybe."

Despite her tears, she rolled her eyes. "Typical," she murmured, pulling out of his arms and padding barefoot in the direction of the kitchen. Out of his arms, she took a deep breath, placing her palms on the countertop, trying force her heartbeat back to a regular rhythm, but he thwarted her attempts, coming up behind her and placing his arms like bookends to her own, his voice husky by her ear.

"I suppose there was a part of me that just… that thought that some of our rapid commitment, at least for you, still had to do with Freya," he admitted quietly. "I love her, of course I do, but I'm also grateful for her, because she put me somewhere I've always wanted to be, I just never had the courage to admit it. But I wasn't sure if for you…"

She went to spin around, but he covered her hands with his own, pinning her lightly in place. "I know you love me," he said quietly. "I believe that you do. It's just that sometimes…" He sighed next to her temple, causing her to shiver. "Sometimes I worry I'll do something to prove that kind of love isn't…warranted."

Any kind of composure she'd attempted to hold on to was lost, and tears raced one another down her cheeks, collecting at her chin as he wrapped an arm tightly around her waist, pulling her back against him.

"Phil!" she gasped out finally, finding her voice. "How can you even –"

He pressed a kiss to her temple, and she could feel the rapid pounding of his heart against her back. She couldn't see his face, but she could picture it clearly in her mind, and she knew his eyes were clenched tightly shut, and that the pulse was visible in his jaw.

Punk finally lifted his hands from hers; allowing her to turn around, and she clutched the edges of his t-shirt, gripping them tightly.

"Phil," she began again, her voice a ragged whisper. "God, you…" She shook her head, barely able to speak, and she pressed her forehead to his chest for a moment before finally lifting her head to meet his eyes.

"Baby, nothing – **nothing **about my love for you is conditional." She swiped at her tears. "Nothing. I couldn't take my heart back from you if I tried, you've had it from the beginning."

He sucked in a breath, and she pressed her lips desperately to his chest, feeling the beat of his heart beneath her kiss. Tipping her chin up, she met his eyes again, his face blurring behind her tears. "I love Freya, I'm so incredibly grateful that we can finally live as a family, but…" She shook her head. "My love for you, it isn't about her, it has nothing to do with you making that possible."

She struggled to find the words to describe the depth of her feelings, curling her fingers more tightly around the sides of his shirt, and when she couldn't she just pressed her mouth against the spot above his heart again. "I love **_you_**, Phil, knowing full well who you are, flaws and all," she murmured. "And I'm stubborn and difficult and I have a quick fuse and you might not always feel like I accept you no matter what, but I do, I need desperately for you to believe that." She let out a deep breath, raising her eyes to meet his and found them glistening. "You've allowed me to be myself in a way that no one in my life ever has before. And that's…that's a gift I couldn't possibly begin to repay in one lifetime."

Punk shook his head, his hands sliding up to cup her face, and she closed her eyes, anticipating his kiss, but she heard his voice instead, barely a whisper.

"Ask me again."

Her eyes fluttered open, her lower lip trembling. "What?"

"Ask me again," he repeated, his voice gathering strength. "Please, April."

She drew in a breath, slowly, her knees feeling weak, and he seemed to understand, one arm winding around her waist once again, supporting her.

"Please."

New tears rushed to her eyes, but she smiled through them. "Marry me."

He nodded, a smile breaking across his own face. "Yes." His mouth dropped to hers instantly, kissing her fully, before sliding to her cheek. "Yes," he murmured again, and his kisses covered her face, every inch. "Yes, yes…"


	53. Chapter 53

**Thank you for reading and reviewing. And Happy Thanksgiving to** **my readers from the USA :)**

* * *

Pulling back slowly from Punks kiss, AJ took in a shuddering breath. "Is that a…did you just say…yes?"

His eyes sparkling, he nodded slowly. "That's a hell yes," he whispered. "Absolutely, one hundred percent yes, baby."

She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around his neck and shout with joy but her knees had another idea – they gave out, and she started to slide to the kitchen floor.

"April!" He tightened his grip on her, trying to hold her up, and she went limp in his arms suddenly, letting her head fall back and the ends of her hair tease the floor, as if she were being dipped.

"You said yes…" she said, her voice dazed. "You said yes."

He cupped the back of her head with his palm, pulling her up, shaking his head. "You amaze me," he said, his voice hoarse.

"I love you," she murmured, her head tipping to the left in his palm. "I love, love, love you."

The smile that stretched his face was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. She reached out, clutching the sides of his shirt again, finally pulling herself up to a standing position. Reaching out, she placed her palm against his cheek. "You're so beautiful," she said softly. "Everything about you."

His eyes welled up. "April."

She took a few steps back, her fingers going to the zipper at her jeans. "I think… I think we were doing something before I asked you a question, "Weren't we?"

Punks eyes glittered in the dim light of the kitchen. "Yeah, we were," he said softly.

AJ walked towards him slowly. "You think you can be quiet?".

He didn't seem as if he could even speak as she stopped only inches from him. "Phil?" she whispered. "What do you say? You up for the challenge?"

His arm suddenly shot out, wrapping around her waist, and she was twirled around, finding herself pinned up against the refrigerator, his leg snaking between her own.

"I'll take that as a another yes," she murmured, seconds before his mouth pulled hers into a drugging kiss. Curling her fingers into the cotton of his shirt, she tugged it from his shoulders, dragging it from his arms as his tongue thrust past her teeth.

There was something completely consuming about Punk. His taste was familiar, his scent something her body understood, but the way he touched her – it was never the same.

"Wait a minute," he gasped, pulling his mouth back, his eyes twinkling evilly. "If you were the one that proposed, does that mean I have to be Phillip Mendez?"

She threw her head back, about to let out a deep, consuming laugh, but his hand covered her mouth, "Shhhh…" he whispered, nipping at her earlobe. "Quiet, remember?"

She pressed her self against his thigh, pushing her hips forward, and he let his hand slide from her face, cupping her butt and pulling her tightly against him.

Rolling her hips, she elicited a low groan from him, and she tangled her hands into his hair, smiling. "Phil…"

He looked into her eyes, smiling. "What?" he murmured.

"Kiss me…"

He tilted her chin lightly, leaning slowly forward to brush his lips softly against her own. "Like this?"

She shook her head softly. "Uh uh."

He smiled, his dimples showing. "No?"

Grabbing his belt buckle, she yanked him closer, shaking her head back and forth, her hair sliding over her shoulders. "No. Like this."

She pressed her open mouth hotly against his, and he met it hungrily. Wrapping her hand around the handle of the fridge, she gasped as his tongue thrust inside her mouth in a sexy rhythm, and when he pulled her away, the door flew open with her.

He tried to pull her towards the living room but she tugged him to the floor instead. In moments, she had him on his back, straddling his hips, and she reached slowly behind her back, unsnapping her bra.

The straps fell lightly off her shoulders, draping over the soft roundness of her upper arms, and he let his fingers trail down her side, curving over her hip. Her own fingers went to his belt, pulling the leather slowly through the buckle, tugging it free from the loops of his jeans.

"I was thinking about our new house," he spoke softly, his fingers dancing over her bare thigh.

"Oh yeah?" she said quietly, pulling down his zipper.

"And I was thinking," he said, pulling her bra away from her breasts. "I was thinking how I was going to enjoy making love to you in every room of our new house."

She shivered as the cool air in the kitchen washed over her bare skin, her nipples tightening. "Our house," she repeated softly. "That sounds so wonderful."

He let his thumb drift, whisper soft along her nipple and she trembled. They were lit only by the light along the top of the stove and the another under the sink, and it left shadows along his collarbone. His eyes were a darker green, smoldering as he watched her, and she realised that all the seemingly silly blather about love, all the songs and poetry and television shows were true in some way or another.

She dipped down, slowly, running the tip of her tongue over his upper lip and he gasped, pulling her closer, his fingers splaying widely on her bare back. Startling her, he flipped her over, hovering above as he dragged kisses along the column of her throat. She moaned softly, undulating beneath him, and he flicked his tongue over the very tip of her breast, teasing her.

Her fingers surged into his hair, gasping a breath, and he moved even lower, his tongue dipping into her belly button, licking the hollow of her hipbone.

Sweeping her knees apart, he settled between them, breathing hotly against her, as one would against a cool windowpane in winter. Hooking a finger into the thin cotton between her legs, he pulled it to the side. She felt a clutching, deep and aching in her crotch and she groaned, tossing her head to side before he'd even touched her. "Oh god," she moaned. "Phillip."

He kissed her, between her legs, lavishing her with the stroke of his tongue and she bucked her hips upward in response. Cupping her butt in his hands, he held her where he wanted her, and she tipped her head back, her eyes sweeping over the shadows and light that bounced off the ceiling.

Within moments she was on the brink, and she cried his name out hoarsely, and he snaked his hand up her body to slip his fingers into her mouth, silencing her as she sucked at the tips frantically, her whole body humming deliciously as she roared closer to the edge.

But he didn't allow her to tumble over into oblivion. Pulling away, he tried to tug her to her feet. Her knees wouldn't allow it. Smiling at her inability to stand, he scooped her up, heading into the living room. She felt trapped in some sort of erotic limbo, so close to completion, and she covered his jaw with kisses before he dropped her into the depths of the sofa.

He shoved his pants off his hips, but she sat up quickly, holding onto his waist and pulling him in front of her. He'd left her on the edge, and it was time to return the favor.

Leaning into him, she pressed an open kiss against him, the heat from her mouth searing through the fabric of his boxer briefs, making him moan. She kissed him again, mouthing him through the cotton, and his fingers curled into her hair, holding her head in front of him.

She ran her knuckles over him gently and his hips surged forward. "Fuck, April" he groaned. "Fuck! You're not even touching me yet..."

Tucking her fingers into the waistband, she hauled the underwear down over his legs, flickering her tongue over the tip of him.

He must have been having trouble standing as well, because he set one knee onto the cushion of the couch and grabbed the arm of it with his left hand, holding himself up and she smiled. "Knees a little weak, baby?' she whispered seductively.

Before he could answer, she pulled him into the warm recesses of her mouth and he gasped. Dragging her tongue against the length of him, she held onto his hips, feeling the tremble that spread through this body.

But he surprised her, jerking free from her mouth and swooping down, grabbing her in a kiss, pulling her back into the couch on top of him. "I want you, all of you," he whispered against her mouth. He slid his hand down between them, slipping his hands into her panties and she moaned softly.

"Now," she demanded. "I don't want to wait." Sitting up, she yanked open the drawer on the small table, her fingers drifting into the far recesses of the drawer for one of the packets she knew he'd stashed behind the pad of paper and telephone book.

Finally finding one, she turned back and ripped it open, sheathing him with it immediately. Lifting herself up onto her knees, she reached between her own legs, watching his eyes follow her every movement, and she once again slid her panties to the side.

He gripped her hips in his hands, and she rubbed herself against him slowly, teasingly.

"**Fuck**!" he gasped out, sweat breaking out on his brow. "Come on, sweetheart. Don't make me wait!"

She grinned at his response. Lowering herself over him slowly, she rotated her hips in a full circle on the way down and he groaned even more loudly.

Clapping her hand over his mouth, she leaned down, whispering next to his ear. "Shhhhh, baby. Don't wake the baby."

He peeled her hand from his mouth, arching up to grab her lips in a kiss, and she swiveled her hips again, this time catching his groan into her mouth.

The kiss went on for several, tongue thrusting moments and she finally braced her hands firmly on his shoulders. Following her rhythm, he arched his own hips up, snapping them hungrily in perfect symmetry with hers.

Their dance seemed to drag out towards infinity, until AJ was sweaty and flushed, her whole body thrumming with her impending orgasm. As they thundered towards the end, AJ gasped out, throwing her head back, feeling the ends of her hair tease her bare back.

"Oh my god," she stared to moan, and she could hear his own groans becoming louder throughout the room.

Almost as if they'd planned it, they both reached out, clapping a hand over the other's mouth, muffling each other's cries, and she collapsed on top of him in a sweaty heap, her knees tucking along his sides, keeping him inside of her.

His chest heaved beneath her, his heartbeat fluttering wildly in time with hers as she tried to catch her own breath.

"Know what?" he gasped out.

"Hmmm?" she managed, her eyes fluttering closed in exhaustion.

"I think we might need to sound proof Freyas' room in the new house. Because it's a lot harder than I thought to stay quiet!"

She exploded into giggles, pressing her face into his chest to muffle the sound. When she'd finally gained control of herself she lifted her head, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "You said **_yes_**," she said shyly.

He nodded, smiling broadly. "I said yes."

* * *

AJ heard the loud babbling noises coming from the next room. Trying to waken herself, her arm slung over the edge of the bed as she lay on her stomach.

Letting her eyes slowly flutter open, she blinked a few times before scooting to the edge of the bed, draggin herself out into the hallway towards Freyas room.

"_Mon Cherie_, why on earth are you awake at this time, it's not even light yet?" AJ asked in amazement, leaning in and rubbing Freyas chubby red cheeks. She just sat quietly, gazing up at her with wide eyes. AJ picked Freya up and took her back into her room.

As she sat back down on the bed, stirring next to her, Punk rolled over, "Who are you talking to?"

Laughing, AJ stroked the tufts of brown curls behind her daughters head. "Freya."

Hearing the slight squish of the nappy when she set her between her legs, Punk rubbed his eyes. "Freya with a wet nappy, apparently."

AJ tapped her finger against the tip of the little girls nose and she grinned. "Seems to be, huh? You need a change, smelly." Playing with her hair again, she tugged her into her lap, giving a loud, dramatic kiss on her cheek and Freya let out a squeal.

Struggling into a sitting position, Punk dropped his head down to press a kiss to her shoulder. "You never call me cute French names," he pouted.

She raised an eyebrow at him, grinning. "I don't? Hmmmm…" She leaned in, giving him a soft kiss and then wrinkled her nose. "_Bonjour, ma cocotte_."

He smiled sleepily, leaning in for another kiss. "What does that mean?"

She grinned devilishly. "My casserole."

Frowning, he pulled back. "April. That's not cute."

She laughed. "Sure it is."

He shook his head. "Not at all. Veto. Try again."

She opened her eyes wide in mock astonishment. "Veto?"

He nodded, giving her another kiss, lingering again this time. "Try again," he murmured.

She twisted her lips in amusement. "Okay. Well, in that case, you have morning breath, _mon gros loup_."

He frowned again. "I do not."

Laughing, she looked down at the little girl in her arms. "Freya, you're a little too young to learn this, but… love," she said sweetly, glancing at Punk, "doth not mask morning breath, no matter how strong said love might be."

He crossed his inked arms over his bare chest. "What does _mon gross loop _mean?"

Giggling at his terrible pronunciation, she shook her head. "_Mon gos loup _means 'my big wolf,'" she told him cheerfully.

Throwing back the covers, Punk sighed. "The French suck at terms of endearment," he muttered, raising his arms above his head and stretching his long limbs. "Everything's about food or animals."

Pulling herself and Freya out of bed as well, AJ headed towards the door. "New nappy for this one," she sang out.

Following suit, Punk slapped her playfully on the butt. "I guess that leaves me with _mon petit smelly_," he told her.

She glanced over her shoulder at him, batting her lashes. "Darling, I never knew you spoke French," she said sweetly.

His eyes sparkling with challenge, he reached out for her. "That's it. You're going to get it."

Jumping out of his grasp, she hurried down the hall to Freyas room, laughing. "Nope, nope nope!"

* * *

Shoveling forkfuls of scrambled eggs into his mouth, Punk flipped over a page of the newspaper across the table from her. With Freya pulled up in the new high chair they'd bought last night along with the new bed, the small table had become quite crowded.

She found herself watching Punk as he mopped up his eggs with a piece of wheat toast. He'd already showered and dressed in a crisp white t-shirt for work, but he'd been tugging on his hair as he read the news, and it was rumpled and sexy looking. The light streaming in through the window highlighted his cheekbones and strong jaw, and left shadows from his lashes on his skin.

Sweeping her tongue over her lower lip, AJ nibbled at her toast. "How many clients did you say you had today?" she asked quietly.

He glanced up at her. "Three. They all piled up since I've taken so much time off lately," he said quickly. He looked up at her again. "Why?"

She pulled her lip gently between her teeth this time. "Just wondering," she said softly.

This time he didn't miss the heat in her eyes and he nearly dropped his fork. "Jesus, April. Don't look at me like that when I have to leave!"

She blushed, standing up with her empty plate. "Sorry," she said quietly. "You just look… **sexy **this morning, that's all."

He did drop his fork this time, and stood up, backing her up against the counter, her plate still in her hand. "Phillip," she murmured. "You have to go in five minutes."

Tugging the ceramic dish from her hand, he set it in the sink before resting a hand on the counter on either side of her. "That leaves three and half minutes of fun."

"Freya is sitting right there," she protested.

Ignoring her, he snaked his arm around her waist, His lips falling to the sensitive spot behind her ear, his breath making her shiver.

Her fingers wound around his forearm, gripping it to keep from her knees giving out at the low tenor of his voice next to her ear. "You're going to be late," she breathed.

"True, but you're going to be exhausted when I get home tonight, packing up all this stuff by yourself," he complained.

Gasping as he tugged her earlobe into his mouth, she shuddered. "Come home looking **half **as good as you do right now, and that won't be an issue," she promised. "Truly."

Laughing, he drew back before pulling her into a kiss that left her breathless. "I only have to maintain half the sexiness, eh? I'll work on that."

Feeling weak-kneed and dreamy, April nodded. "Half. Maybe even a third. You'd still look good enough to eat, I swear."

He wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestion. "You're a wonder, Mendez."

She shoved his chest jokingly. "Go! You'll be late!"

He backed away, chuckling, pausing to drop a kiss on the head of Freya before grabbing his keys and gym bag.

She had just turned back towards the sink to start filling the it with water when he paused. "April?."

Smiling, she turned around slowly, preparing to hear whatever sweet words he planned on sending her way.

His eyes sparkled playfully. "Since you proposed to me, does that mean** _I_ **get the diamond ring?"


	54. Chapter 54

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing. This is just a wee festive chapter seeing as though we are now hurtling towards December :)**

* * *

_Two and a half months later..._

AJ lifted her head sleepily when she heard Punks footsteps in the doorway to the bedroom. Pulling herself into a sitting position, she looked up to see him kicking off his shoes, Freya tucked against his shoulder.

"I thought she was sleeping," she murmured.

"Think again," he said, smiling. "She was awake and pulling on her toes when I looked in on her."

Unzipping his hooded jacket, he tossed it on a chair by their bed before unbuckling his belt with one hand, tugging it free.

"I'm sorry, I just needed a quick nap," she said, rubbing her eyes and glancing at the clock, seeing it was just after five. "I thought you weren't going to be home until later?"

"Nah, I quit." Grinning, he climbed onto the bed. "I've decided to walk dogs for a living, I've had enough of this fitness rubbish."

She shook her head, reaching for the baby, but he frowned at her. "Uh-uh. Get your own."

Smiling, she watched him lie next to her, settling the baby on his stomach. Immediately scrambling up his chest, Freya grabbed for him, and he threw his head back, laughing.

"You're a little monkey, you know that?!" he teased. He glanced over at AJ as he rubbed his palm on the baby's back, smoothing out the flannel of her sleeper. "How was your day?"

"Good," she assured him. His eyes sparkling, he pinched Freyas cheeks. "You're getting pudgy, smelly?"

The baby grinned, patting her open palm on his chest in response.

Leaning over, AJ pressed a kiss first on her daughter's forehead before turning her attention to Punk. "Thank you," she whispered.

He arched an eyebrow. "For what?" he murmured against her mouth.

Kissing him again, she snuggled closer. "For making me the luckiest woman on the planet."

He chuckled again. "Uh oh. Does the rubbish need to be taken out or something? It's cold and snowy, April – have a heart."

She punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Funny. I was being serious."

He sobered for a moment, tilting his face in her direction. "I'm the lucky one," he said softly. "Unless, of course, there **is **garbage to take out."

AJ was about to say something cheeky but Punk cut her off ruffling her hair playfully, smiling at her. "Hey, guess what?"

Bouncing excitedly on his chest, the little girl put her hands on his cheeks.

"I was thiiiinking," he started slowly, glancing at AJ, "that we could get a…."

AJ was getting more excited. "What?" she chanted.

"A Christmas tree tomorrow."

She felt her face flush at the idea of them decorating a tree together as a family.

"What do you think, baby? Want to get a tree tomorrow?" Punk asked her.

"I don't think we have a choice now!" she laughed, pointing at Freya. "Too late!"

Grabbing his daughter, Punk jumped up from the bed, holding her upside down, and she shrieked joyfully, her little face turning red as she giggled. "I have another idea," he announced.

"Oh, boy," AJ said, letting Freya attempt to crawl across the bed. At sixteen months, she was always scooting around using the furniture or trying to pull herself across the floor. Her favourite new game was to toss something on the floor, just to see AJ bend over and pick it up, and she was laughing more and more.

"I think we should have a take away for dinner," Punk announced. "You two can stay in your pj's, and I'm gonna throw on an old shirt and some shorts and stay in them all night." He flipped Freya up until she was riding on his shoulders. "How does pizza sound?"

"Sounds delightful," she sighed, stretching her arms and searching for her slippers.

He grinned at her. "Good, because I've been thinking of spinach pizza from Domino's all day. I was about to be devastated if you said no,"

"Well we wouldn't want **that**," AJ joked. "God forbid. I'll have to call Lee and see if I can steal some of the Christmas ornaments – I'm not sure we have enough for a very big tree."

"Oh, and it has to be **big**!" he roared, flipping Freya down and off his shoulders onto the bed several feet from AJ. "Right kiddo?"

Freya clapped her hands, and AJ laughed.

"I'm going to invite Lee," AJ suddenly said quietly. "You don't mind, right?"

He looked up at her in surprise. "You are?"

She rolled her eyes at him obvious excitement. "Yes, and **don't **make a big deal out of it, alright?"

Clamping his mouth shut, Punk drew a fake zipper, his heart swelling in his chest. "Not a word."

* * *

"Lee, don't lift it on that side!"

Flustered, Lee pushed his hat up out of his eyes with his gloves. "Phil, you're starting to turn too soon, it's not going to fit through the door!"

From her place inside the living room, Freya on her hip in a little pink snowsuit, AJ covered her mouth to muffle the laughter that started to bubble up to her lips as her brother and fiance argued.

"Okay, well then **back up**."

Lee dropped his end entirely, a few needles shaking off the tree. "Don't snap at me. You're the one who picked this disaster."

Punk rolled his eyes. "April picked it," he muttered.

"Actually, I think it was you," AJ said sweetly. "I just agreed with you."

Turning around, clearly flustered, Punk shot her a look. "You're not helping, baby."

Clearing her throat, AJ tried to swallow her laughter. "Sorry." Coming closer to the door, she adjusted the baby back on her hip, tugging the tiny pink hat off her head. "I think you need to keep it straight and low until the last minute, then turn."

"Like I told you!" Lee said triumphantly.

"No, like I told **you**," Punk declared.

Rolling her eyes heavenward, AJ just shook her head. "Whatever. Just try it like I told you both."

Within minutes, the tree was through the door and Punk was crawling underneath, screwing it into a tree stand and Lee was hauling boxes of ornaments in from the car.

AJ, having pulled Freya from her snowsuit, turned her attention to the little girl, who was trying to crawl under the tree with her dad.

"Baby girl, come here!' AJ called. "How about we get you into your jim jams?"

Ignoring her, Freya squirmed closer to Punk, and AJ gave up calling her, hoping she would come back and lifted her instead. Setting Freya on a blanket in her playpen nearby, she went into the kitchen to make some cider for Lee, shedding her own coat and scarf and draping them over a chair.

By the time she made her way back into the living room with mugs of hot chocolate for herself and Punk and a cup of cider for her brother, Lee had pulled out a bunch of ornaments, and Punk was struggling with a tangle of twinkling lights.

"You want help with that?" Lee asked him.

"I think I can untangle a cord," Punk muttered.

Shrugging it off, Lee hoisted Freya up onto his shoulders and bounced her around the room. After observing her fiance and brother for the past few hours, AJ had learned to accept the fact that the constant snarking might just be the way the two of them related to one another as adults. Both competitive, stubborn and strong-willed, they bickered at every turn. The change seemed to be that there was a naturalness to their interactions that before had been laced with tension. And Punk, despite his grumblings, seemed to want her brother around more and more.

She would take it as progress.

* * *

Two hours later, with a roaring fire in the hearth, the tree was twinkling with lights. Freyas abilities to decorate the tree were quite comical – every ornament she hung was about two and a half feet of the ground and clustered in one giant clump. AJ felt herself fighting the urge to even out the tree and just enjoy watching her daughter smile.

Kaitlyn, her best friend from high school and her husband Stephen had arrived to help them decorate, bringing dinner with them. Kaitlyn taking Freya from her daddy's arms to steal some cuddles, while Punk being the socially awkward man that he was, took to sitting in the corner, observing everyone around him. Not being able to believe that he was here. Looking back at how far himself and AJ had come. The night he arrived at her doorstep was one of the worst and best nights of his life. Did he know that it would have brought them to this very minute? Absolutely not. Would he change it for the world? Not in a million years. This he concluded, was fate.

In the midst of it all buzzing around her, AJ looked over to see Kaitlyn holding up Freya to hang something higher on the tree and she was glowing, surrounded by the people she loved most, and realised that in her wildest dreams, she had never believed life could be this good. Thinking back to the first time she'd laid eyes on Phil Brooks, she'd had no idea that the cocky, rude, Punk would change her life, steal her heart and give her so completely what she'd only dreamed of in the past.

Distracted, she didn't even feel the arms sneak around her waist.

"Gotcha," Punk murmured next to her ear.

"The tree is beautiful," she murmured. "Freya's having a ball."

He nodded, his scruffy jaw brushing her temple. "I've got you something."

She turned around in his arms, a brow arched. "What? It's not Christmas yet! You cheater!"

He grinned. "I know. It's a 'pre' Christmas present." Reaching behind him, he pulled a small square box off the table, handing it to her. "It's little, don't get the hump."

She smiled, tugging on the ribbon. "Well, you kind of sprung this tree thing on me with no warning."

His dimples flashed at her statement. "Yeah, I'm unexpected like that, baby."

Rolling her eyes, she lifted the lid and her breath caught. Looping the silk ribbon around her finger, she pulled out a beautiful glass globe. "Oh, it's beautiful." She paused, squinting and realising there were words etched on the other side, visible through the clear glass. Spinning it around, her eyes filled when she read the simple inscription:

**FOREVER **


	55. Chapter 55

**Sorry for the skipping through but I just thought it would be better, or I would be here forever on this fic. ****Thank you for reading and reviewing :)**

* * *

AJ had laid in bed for a half and hour, she couldn't get any sleep at all. Despite her physical exhaustion, her mind was wide awake, and focused squarely on one thing.

Everything about the wedding plans aggravated her. She didn't have an engagement ring, there was no guest list, hell they hadn't even discussed when and where the ceremony was going to take place. And to top it all off they still hadn't moved into their new home. Everything being signed and sealed on their end, waiting for the sellers to hurry their asses up. It was three months into the new year and nothing at all was going the way AJ had thought it would go. New Year. New Start? Yeah right. What made things worse was the worrying would put her in terrible moods which Punk would be on the receiving end of. Picking fights with him, just because she couldn't tell him what was going on in her head. And damn it, it made her angry. That's why she was in bed, alone.

She sighed, closing her eyes willing for sleep to take her.

Before it could, Punk entered the room, switching off the lamp and getting into bed, turning over staring at the back of her head, at the messy curls sprawled across her pillow. One thing about Punk, he wouldn't go to bed without trying to make up with her, even if AJ had been the instigator. He couldn't leave things until morning.

Scooting a little closer, he buried his nose into her hair, taking in the scent. "You smell like lilacs."

Startled, AJ opened her eyes. "What?"

He flashed his eyes at her. "You smell like lilacs." He paused. "Is it a new perfume?"

AJ hesitated. "It's my shampoo."

Punk closed his eyes breathing in the scent again. "I've never noticed before, it's intoxicating, April. Truly."

She could feel herself blushing and bit her lip. His voice was low and husky, and sent shivers up her spine. AJ felt her heart start to pound.

Punk pulled her up against him, his arm slung around her waist and his chest tucked up against her back.

Her body instantly reacted to being so close to him, and her skin felt hot. Closing her eyes, she tried to command her heart to slow down, but it refused to listen. Surprisingly, if he noticed, he wasn't going to comment. She felt him shift next to her, and he moved his face closer, burying it in her hair once again.

"My mother had this uncle that lived in the suburbs. He worked in the city for years and retired there." He sighed, tightening his arm around her waist. "We'd visit every year, because in the spring they have a lilac festival, and my mother refused to miss it."

"Really?" She smiled at the thought.

"Yeah, there's an actual lilac park. It's beautiful, and the smell is incredible – it's truly the sweetest air you'll ever breathe, and when all the bushes are flowering it's just..."

"What?" she asked softly.

He paused. "_Beautiful_," he whispered.

She could feel his breath against her ear and she shivered, clenching her eyes shut. Everything that AJ had been fretting about soon started to fizzle away. "I didn't realise you were so into flowers, Mr Punk."

He let his fingers glide gently across her stomach. "I appreciate beauty when I see it, April."

Taking a deep breath, she snuggled a tiny bit closer. "So you'd travel all the way there to see lilacs?"

She could feel him nod. "They don't grow well in around here. The summer is way too hot and all that red clay is too hard to make them happy. My mom had a little bush in our backyard, but it was kind of pitiful." He laughed. "She'd cut some for a vase in the house and the bush would be empty."

She smiled. "But the house smelled nice?"

He paused. "Yeah." Pressing his face into her hair again, he took a deep breath. "Like your hair."

AJ shivered as his hand brushed her hair to the side and she felt his warm breath on the skin at the back of her neck. Her heart racing in anticipation, she lay still, waiting to see what he would do.

His lips finally brushed against her skin softly and she started to tremble. And the monster deep inside her, the one that was angry and worried came rushing to the surface. Swinging around she gave him an accusatory look.

"I thought you wanted an early night! You said we were just going to –"

He silenced her with his kiss, his hand coming up to cup the back of her head as he pulled himself off the bed, sweeping his tongue into her mouth before she could protest any further.

AJs head started to spin the second his mouth covered hers. His tongue slid lazily throughout her mouth, making it hard for her to catch her breath and before she knew it, she was kissing him back.

Her hands came up between them, resting against his chest and she curled her fingers into the fabric of his nightshirt, clutching him closer. She was trying so hard to be** mad **about this, about what she was doing - _but my God, this guy can he kiss!_

* * *

Rolling over as the first hints of light started to stream into the window, AJ moaned, shielding her eyes. "Oh my god," she croaked. "What time is it?"

Punk lifted his face out of the pillow, squinting at her. "I don't care," he mumbled.

Struggling to pull herself into a sitting position, she frowned at him. "Phil, we have work, both of us.

Groaning, he covered his face with his hands. "I've got a better idea," he muttered. "Let's stay in bed naked all day."

Rolling her eyes, AJ attempted to crawl out from under the mess of sheets. "Phillip, that would be irresponsible.

"Oh, come on April, live a little" he said, dropping his hands from his face.

"No, we have a wedding to pay for remember, then there's Freya" she said carefully. "We can't just **pretend **that we don't have responsibilities Phi –"

"Nope, no pretending today," he said quickly, throwing off the sheets. "It's a gorgeous spring day and we're playing hooky." Coming around the side of the bed, he leaned over her, bracing himself with his arms. "Starting with a shower for two. What do you say?"

She scowled, pretending to disapprove. "Phil, I'm not kidding. We need to get dressed and – Phillip!" she screeched as he picked her up easily, throwing her over his shoulder. "Put me down!"

"Not on your life, sweetheart," he said, his voice full of laughter. "It's time for a shower." He brought her quickly into the bathroom, setting her down on the bathmat.

"Oh, so we're skipping work to take a shower? Great plan, Punk!"

He leaned past her, flipping the hot water on and grinned. "Nope. After the shower, I have a surprise for you."

* * *

AJ rolled her eyes for the fifth time as Punk stepped into the bathroom, looking impatient. "You ready yet?"

She shook her head, pointing to the blow dryer. "What?" she teased. "I can't hear you!"

He pursed his lips, trying to grab for the blow dryer. Laughing, she pointed it in the direction of his face and he sputtered when the hot air hit his skin. "Very funny!" he shouted, laughing with her. "Come on, April. Turn it off."

Sighing, she flipped the switch, setting it on the counter. "Phil, my hair's going to be all lopsided now," she whined. "What's the rush? We're playing hooky, it's not like we're going to be late, and Lee has Freya for the day, chill out" she pointed out.

He grinned. "Well, actually, there are some time constraints to this surprise," he said, lounging against the doorway. "Like, you know, **sunlight**."

She whipped her towel at him in mock horror and he threw his hands up to block it. Reaching out for her, he snagged her by the tie on her robe, tugging her to him as she let out a yelp.

"Come on, April," he said playfully. "Your hair looks stunning. Can we go already?"

Sighing, she twisted out of his arms, pulling her hair behind her head and securing it with an elastic around her wrist.

"Ready?" he asked impatiently.

She let a teasing smile spread across her lips and reached for the belt on her robe, untying it and letting it drop onto the bathmat. "Almost," she said, sashaying past him out into the bedroom. "I just have to get dressed first."

"Oh my **god**," he moaned. "You're killing me here, April."

* * *

An hour and a half later Punk was finally steering AJ out the inner city when they arrived at set of steps leading down. "Okay, down here, come on."

She arched an eyebrow at him, glancing up at the route sign above the staircase. "This is your surprise? A train to the suburbs?"

He set his hands on his hips, giving her an exasperated look. "_No_, this is not the surprise. Let's call it phase one of the surprise, alright?" He started down the stairs and she hesitated for a moment, her heart beating a bit faster.

He stopped a few steps lower, glancing at her over his shoulder. "You coming?"

She nodded, and, taking a deep breath she took his outstretched hand and followed him down under the city.

After getting almost no rest the night before, AJ had fallen asleep against Punks shoulder. She came awake when his hand brushed against her cheek, sitting up with a start. The train was just gliding into the station and she looked bleakly out the window for some clue as to where they were. When she glanced the sign, she looked up at him in confusion. Was she supposed to know where they were?

Slinging the backpack over his shoulder, he grabbed her hand. "Let's go."

Following him down the aisle, she jumped gracefully down the steps after him onto the platform. "Okay, which way is this so-called surprise?"

"Just a small walk north," he said with a grin. "You up for it?"

She jumped in front of him, turning around to face him as she skipped backwards lightly. "Are you?" she taunted, giving him a wicked smile.

He shook his head. "Don't tempt me," he muttered, looking her up and down. "By the way, that's an awfully short dress you have there, April. You better hope the wind doesn't pick up.'

She laughed, enjoying the feel of the warm spring air on her bare skin. Turning her face up towards the sun, she threw her arms wide. "I tell you, Phillip. Playing hooky may have just been the best idea you've ever had. I can't believe how beautiful it is out here!" she exclaimed, spinning around on the sidewalk. "I don't think we spend enough time outside. We're always cooped up in the house.'

He laughed. "Up until recently it was a bit too cold to be dancing around in little outfits."

She bounced on the balls of her black converse covered feet, waiting for him to catch up the few paces to her. "Where are we going?" she begged. "I can't imagine why you'd want to spend the day in some suburb when we could have explored the city!"

He pressed his lips together, holding back silent laughter. "You can't stand not knowing something, can you?"

Pursing her lips, she gave him a look. "That is not true."

Punk reached out, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. "It's alright, I like how impatient you are."

She jumped away from him, her eyebrows arched, walking backwards in front of him again "Is that so? Well I'll have you know, Phillip that... **Wow**. What's that incredible smell?"

Spinning around, she let out a gasp, speechless. Lilacs, lilacs were everywhere. She was standing in front of the entrance to a beautiful park and in every direction were bushes covered with the small flowers, the air heavily perfumed with them. Lining the sidewalk beneath the bushes were rows and rows of tulips, and the grass was a brilliant, emerald green. She'd never seen anything so beautiful in her entire life.

Awestruck, she turned to face him. He stood behind her, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants, seemingly content just to see her reaction. "You like it?"

"You took me here?" she gasped. "You took me to –"

"The lilac park." He licked his lips nervously, toeing the ground. "I probably built it up too much, huh? Made it seem like a bigger surprise? I bet you expected –"

She leapt forward, pressing her hand over his mouth, cutting him off.

"I didn't expect anything this beautiful," she whispered. "I've never seen anything like it in my whole life."

He brought his hand up to hers, pulling it gently from his mouth. "Well, I'm glad you like it," he said softly. "I was hoping you would."

Gripping his belt with one hand, she pulled him closer, tilting her chin up to look at him, his eyes warm and filled with sunlight. "No surprise would have been better," she said, feeling breathless. "I **love **it."

* * *

AJ inched across the blanket that Punk had laid out in the grass stealthily, her hand reaching for the backpack next to his knee. He had swiveled around and to take in the lilacs and was, at the moment, oblivious to her movements. She'd just wrapped her fingers around the strap and was about to ease it onto her lap when he turned back towards her.

"You know, I think we should take a walk right round the park – **Hey**!" he yelped, snatching the backpack up and holding it against his chest. "Just what do you think you're doing?"

She sat back on her heels in a huff. "I'm hungry," she pouted.

Raising an eyebrow at her, he grinned. "Oh? And what makes you think there's food in this bag?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, what's in there then? Water guns?"

He frowned. "Damn it. That would have been a good idea."

"I know there's food in there," she stated. "So come one, share the wealth."

Setting the bag between his legs, he looked at her teasingly. "And I repeat, what makes you so sure that there's food in here?"

She sighed, crawling closer to him. "Because," she drawled, "I have to take my anxiety meds in about twenty minutes, and I know that you know that. And I also know that you know I take them with food."

He pursed his lips together. "Crap. You win."

She plucked the pack from his lap triumphantly, settling back down to unzip it. "Oh, **YUM**. Is this goat cheese?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. While you were in the shower I went across the street to a deli and asked them to pack me some things for lunch."

She pulled out a couple of sandwiches and fresh fruit and a few bottles of iced tea. Sitting back on her heels in front of him, she studied the sandwiches. "Which one do you want? Looks like, uh... chicken pesto and, hmm." She peeled back the wrapping a bit, squinting at it. "Some sort of roasted vegetable and mozzarella thing." She glanced up at him, her eyebrows raised in question.

He just shook his head at her, smiling. "I don't care. Whichever one you don't want."

She looked at both the sandwiches for a minute; then started rooting around in the bag until she found what she was looking for. "A-ha!" she said, pulling out a knife. "We'll split them in half."

Handing him half of the first sandwich, she took a large bite of her own, closing her eyes. "Oh, god. So good."

When she glanced up at him he was just staring at her, the sandwich still in his hand. "What?" she muttered, feeling self-conscious. "Did I get food on my face or something?" Her hand drifted towards her face.

He shook his head, his dimples showing as he smiled. "No, I was just thinking how much I like hearing you say those words, that's all." He shrugged. "Although, I **do **prefer when it's about me and not a sandwich."

AJ rolled her eyes, smacking him lightly on the chest. "You're incorrigible."

"I am?" he said, his hand clasped to his chest. "Look at that dress you're wearing. Give me a break."

She looked down at her dress, brushing a crumb off her chest. "Oh, you like it?" she asked innocently.

He tossed his sandwich on the blanket, crawling towards her, his mouth moving towards hers but she held her hand up, stopping him as she took another bite of sandwich. "Phil, I'm hungry."

"Me too," he growled, trying to kiss her again.

"Yes, but you **know **what we'll want to do if we start this," she said seriously. "And we're in the middle of a public park. Bad idea."

"Mmm," he muttered. "Leaving bed was the bad idea. That's what I get for trying to plan surprises."

She set her sandwich on the cellophane, wiping her hand on her knee. "I like this surprise." Cocking an eyebrow, she looked at him slyly. "So did you bring ladies here often, mister?'

He swallowed a long drink of iced tea and set the bottle down on the blanket. "No."

"No?" she teased. "Not even one or two?"

She was fishing for information and she knew it. Last night and this morning had felt like a dream and she was waiting for her reality check – it had to be here somewhere.

His tongue snaked out to run across the ring on his lower lip as he reclined, leaning back on his elbows as she settled down onto the blanket, stretching her legs out in front of her. "I haven't been here in eighteen years," he said lightly, not making eye contact with her.

Her heart started to pound. "Oh really?"

He glanced around the park, his eyes looking slightly unfocused. "Nineteen ninety-four was the last time I was here," he said quietly. "It hasn't changed all that much."

She brushed an ant off her leg, noticing the change in his behavior. "What was in Nineteen ninety-four?" she asked carefully.

Noticing her cautious tone, he looked up at her quickly. "The last vacation we ever made as a family," he said, chewing on his lower lip. "Well, if you can call it a vacation. My fath- Jack was here for "business", and my mom decided to come along and asked me to come with her."

"Wow, a sixteen-year-old boy on vacation with his _Mom_? That's pretty rare, isn't it?" she wondered out loud.

He blushed, looking down at his lap. "Yeah, well, I didn't do it to be with her. I did it to be with him."

She tilted her head to the side, amazed that he was being so open. "Jack?"

He scowled. "Yeah, well, back then I was willing to just about anything to get some attention from him." He puffed his cheeks out before letting his breath out in a huff. "I didn't pay enough attention to the parent who deserved it," he mumbled, plucking at the blanket. "I think about that a lot."

She reached out, touching his leg. "You feel guilty? For being a teenage boy who wanted attention from his dad? You shouldn't, Phil."

He sat up, pushing his half-eaten sandwich out of the way. "I wish you'd known my mom, April. You'd understand why I feel guilty. She was pretty incredible. She deserved more from me." He shook his head. "She was dead a year and half later." He blinked a few times, but turned his head to the side and she was unable to tell if there were tears in his eyes. "You know, after I got tired of blaming him for everything, I started to blame myself, just for a change of pace."

"Phil," she said softly. "Your mother being sick **wasn't **your fault. I know you know that."

He looked back at her, and she could see the shimmer in his eyes, could see the tears there. "It wasn't about her being sick. It was about being a selfish kid who, no matter how much time she spent with me and how many ball games she showed up for and karate lessons..." He swallowed thickly. "No matter what she did, I just wanted **him **to notice me."

She shook her head slowly, wanting to find the right words to take away some of his hurt and guilt. "Phillip, you need to try to let some of that guilt go. It doesn't change anything now. And I'm sure your mom knew how much you loved her."

He looked around the park again, taking a deep breath of the fragrant air. "We did everything together," he said quietly. "We'd cook dinner together, always waiting for him to get home. We'd stay up late watching movies..." He glanced over at a bench near the back of the park. "When we were on vacation that year, she wanted to come here, and of course, being a teenage guy the last thing I wanted to do was take a train to the suburbs with my Mom and go to some flower park. I thought he was going to take me to a game, and instead he went to some "conference". Well that's what mom always called them. He continued gazing wistfully in the direction of the bench. "She sat over there forever," he mumbled. "I was pissed off and bored and she called me over to her, finally, and told me not to be mad."

He turned back to her, sighing. "She told me one day I would understand what my father did, that, he couldn't always be here, that he was making sure we were safe." He shrugged. "I just wanted him to care about me."

Punk looked at her, the pain and rejection he'd felt for so long evident on his face. "But I think, if you don't have time for your kid, why in the hell did you have one in the first place?"

April inched her hand across the blanket, the tips of her fingers grazing his hand, and he met her eyes. "I know how you feel," she whispered.

He pressed his lips together. "Yeah?'

She nodded. "Your parents are supposed to be there no matter what." She brushed at a tear that had slipped down her cheek away. "They're not supposed to want to go off on their own adventure's, or fake their own deaths, and just leave their kid behind, right?"

He nodded, clutching her fingers more tightly. "Right," he whispered.

She nodded back, taking a deep breath. "Right," she repeated.

He sunk down suddenly, turning on his back and pillowing his head against her thigh. "We're quite a pair aren't we?"

Taking off his tatty, worn Cubs hat, AJ let her hands drift into his hair, tugging lightly on the locks. "Yes," she said, taking in a shuddering breath. "Yes we are."


	56. Chapter 56

**Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Ok, so we are nearing the end once again. The next chapter will be the very last one :)**

* * *

The click of the front door startled AJ, she wiped her hands on a towel and grabbed Freya out of her high chair, walking into the living room.

"Well hello there, angel. How was your day?"

"Busy" she murmured, coming over and leaning up on her toes to give him kiss. "How was your day?"

Heading for the couch, Punk threw himself back. "**Tiring**," he murmured. "I missed you."

She felt a pang in her chest. She'd been trying not to concentrate on what not being at work had been like lately, keeping her thoughts on Freya and the wedding, but the truth was, she missed it as well. She needed to figure out some sort of compromise at some point. She was enjoying her time at home, but she couldn't see being away from work forever, they really needed a permanent sitter for Freya.

AJ followed Punk to the couch, laying her daughter down onto the chest of her now sprawled out flipped over in his lap and wiggled to the floor, toddling off towards her toys, and AJ let her head fall back in exhaustion.

"Want to flip a coin to see who had a longer day?"

Laughing, he pulled her feet into his lap, massaging them with his strong hands. "We don't have to, I already know. My day was a cakewalk compared to looking after that little monkey."

Groaning at his thumbs pressing into the arch of her foot, AJ let her eyes flutter closed.

"Good, because I was going to cheat and make sure I won anyway."

His laughter was low and husky as he bent towards her. "That's my girl," he murmured, kissing her jaw softly.

Shivering, her hand stroked his rough cheek. "I got you something today."

He arched a brow. "Oh, yeah?"

"Mmm hmmm," she said, digging in the purse she'd left on the coffee table. Her fingers wound around the little velvet box and she pulled it out triumphantly. "A ha!" she cried, tossing it into his lap.

He looked at her in surprise. "April!"

"You said you wanted diamonds," she teased, her eyes twinkling.

"But I was **kidding**!"

"Well, too late. And Freya helped me pick it out, so you can't return it. She'd be very offended."

As if on cue, she came tearing back into the room, clutching the little stuffed dragon AJ had let her pick out this afternoon, climbing up into her lap.

Flipping the box open, Punk sucked in a breath, staring down at it. "April…"

She wrapped her arms around Freya. "You like it?" she asked nervously. "The woman at the shop assured me it was masculine enough, but –"

"There's a diamond for each of you," he said softly, and her heart thumped at his comment. He seemed to always understand her now, to get right away where she was coming from, and she felt tears prick at her eyes.

"I love it," he told her softly, leaning over to kiss her. "It's beautiful."

Smiling, she kissed him back. "Good, because I wasn't really going to let you bring it back."

"Yeah, I know," he said with a chuckle, sliding it onto his finger. "Wow, perfect fit."

"Well, if anyone knows your hands, it's me," she murmured, winking at him.

He glanced at the empty box. "Well, this is perfect timing, because I needed one of these."

She frowned. "Huh?"

Shifting, he reached into his pocket, tugging out something sparkling, popping it into the box and snapping it closed. "Perfect. Thanks!"

"Phillip!" she whined, her heart racing at what he'd hidden inside. "Don't be mean!"

He laughed, smiling down at Freya, who grinned back at him, covered in druel, her small fist wrapping around the strings of his hoodie. "What do you think, princess? Should I let her see?"

The baby was silent, and Punk shrugged. "She isn't sure."

AJ stood up in a huff. "What do you think, Freya? Is Daddy hungry, should we let him have dinner with us?" She put her finger on her lips, urging the girl to be quiet, and Freya giggled, not saying a word.

Shrugging dramatically, she turned to him sweetly. "She's unsure,"

"You cheated!" Punk said, jumping up after her and the baby, following them into the kitchen. "Unfair!"

"Has Freya changed her mind?" AJ asked sweetly, pulling some iced tea from the fridge.

Punk considered. "What's for dinner?" he asked slowly.

She batted her eyes. "A roast chicken with new potatoes."

Groaning, he clutched his stomach, glancing at the baby. "What do you think, Freya-cakes? A diamond for roasted chicken?"

The baby smiled, and Punk nodded. "We've decided to make a deal," he said. "We will trade one velvet box and it's contents for two plates, please."

"Two plates?" she asked, laughing. "Phillip, you know Freya won't eat a full plate."

"I know, I'm hungry," he joked, setting the baby back in her high chair.

AJ pulled dinner from the oven, letting it cool for a minute, turning to face him. "Okay, deal."

He backed her up against the counter, smiling. "This better be good chicken," he murmured, leaning down to kiss her neck.

"It's got garlic and rosemary," she managed, shivering from the feel of his lips on her skin.

"Wow, well, in that case…" He held the box out to her. "I've held onto this for nearly twenty years," he said quietly, the teasing finally gone from his eyes. "I never thought I would ever get the chance to give it to anyone. Let alone someone who I love."

Her throat closed up when she flipped the box open. "This was your **mum's**?" she managed, her eyes filling up.

Nodding slowly, he pulled it from its velvet cradle. "Mmmm hmmm," he said softly, sliding it onto her finger. "And now it's been worn by my two favorite women, so I knew it was the ring for you, April."

Suddenly it hit her. Why hadn't she thought of it sooner? All this time worrying about where they would get married, everything was falling into place. It was perfect.

"April? Are you even listening?"

She finally raised her head, her eyes glittering. "I know where."

He frowned. "Where what?"

She smiled, holding the velvet box to her heart. "Where we should get married."

* * *

_Four months later..._

AJ lifted her hands towards the sky, her fingers pointing upward as Kaitlyn delicately settled her dress over her head. As her friend gently tugged and shifted the fabric, AJ met her eyes and they both smiled widely.

Stepping back from her handy work, Kaitlyn brought her fingers to her lips. "Wow, April. You look…beautiful."

Swinging towards the full-length mirror behind them, she pressed her hand gently against her abdomen, her fingers smoothing the dress lightly. Her cheeks were flushed in excitement, her eyes twinkling.

"Where's Freya?" she asked, her eyes drifting to her oldest friend. "Kait, I thought I saw you holding her earlier."

Her friend smiled, her head tilted to one side as she slipped an earring into her ear. "She's with her dad."

Unable to control her smile in response, AJ shook her head. "But who's going to get her dressed?"

Kaitlyn shrugged her shoulders delicately. "He said he'd take care of it."

"Really?" Turning back towards the mirror, AJ surveyed her appearance. "She's in there with the men? That kid is such a daddy's girl."

Just then something caught her eye on top of the dresser. A small white box wrapped in a thin purple ribbon. Not noticing it being there before.

"Ah Kait, did you put this here?" AJ reached over and picked it up, inspecting it a little closer. Kaitlyn smiled, thinking it was about time her friend noticed it.

"No, who's it from?" AJ turned the little heart-shaped tag over that was attached to the ribbon, reading out loud, "April. Forever."

Standing up, AJ tugged the end of the ribbon gingerly, the rustle of silk the only sound in the room as her friend watched silently. Flipping the lid, she held her breath, her fingers winding into a delicate chain, and she pulled the gift from the box. Kaitlyn watched quietly as AJ examined the gift from Punk, and suddenly she dropped the box, the white gold of the chain winking around her fingers as she picked up the skirt of her dress, suddenly heading towards the door.

"April!" Kaitlyn exclaimed. "Where are you going?"

But she didn't answer and she walked swiftly down the hallway towards the other hotel room door, her fist rapping quickly on the heavy oak.

After a few moments, Lee tugged the door open, his eyes widening in surprise when he saw her. "AJ! What are you doing, you aren't supposed to –'"

"April?"

Punk suddenly appeared from inside the room, Freya on his hip, her tiny, chubby legs bare under her lacy dress. "What are you doing, baby? Is something wrong?" He frowned, his eyes worried. "I thought we weren't supposed to see –"

Pushing past Lee, she marched into the room in a swirl of ivory, her cheeks flushed. Handing Freya to Lee quickly, Punk walked towards her, but his eyes widened in surprise when she grabbed his tie, pulling him down for the kiss of a lifetime.

When he finally managed to come up for air, he was practically sputtering. "What on earth was that for?"

She held up the white gold locket that had dangled from her fingers, still flipped open to show the smiling faces of their daughter, Punk and AJ – Punk was holding Freya and AJ was cuddled into his side, Punks arm wrapped around her, holding her as if he would never let go. On the front a sprig of lilac was engraved, and on the back was written: "_The Brooks Family_."

"I love you," she said fiercely. "I love you so much."

At her words, he broke into a beautiful smile, his dimples winking in his cheeks, his eyes twinkling. "You like it?"

She grabbed him again, kissing him with even more passion, and then Lee cleared his throat. "I think she does, Phil."

Laughing against her mouth, Punk pulled back, his eyes bright as he brushed the tears from her cheeks. "Hey April?"

She smiled. "What?"

"Lets go get married."

* * *

She was practically vibrating with excitement as the car sped smoothly down the street. Reaching for her hand, Kaitlyn squeezed it tightly in her own.

"'How's my girl holding up then? Nervous?"

Turning her head to look at her best friend, AJ just smiled, shaking her head slowly from side to side. "No."

Lifting her hand to her lips, Kaitlyn kissed her knuckles lightly, reaching out lightly with a finger to touch the winking gold around AJs neck. "What's in the locket?"

Smiling, AJ glanced down at the necklace winking in the sunlight through the windows of the car. "My heart."

The car pulled over to the pavement suddenly, and the driver stepped out, pulling open the door. "Ma'am?"

Clasping his hand, AJ stepped out into the sun, taking a deep breath of the floral air, her head spinning slightly. "It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" she asked him.

Nodding, his face broke into a smile, and when she glanced ahead, she saw her brother and Stephen at the entrance to the park, his eyes glistening with tears at the very sight of her. Lee. The only true person that stuck by her during all those sleepless nights, crying, hurting. The one who told her not to give up- who protected her- who tried single-handedly to repair the broken fragments of a lost young woman from another life, and had helped hold her together ever since. As she stepped closer, clasping his arm, she looked up through a sea of lilacs, noticing Punks best man, Zack standing behind Punk at the end of a long path, and she met Phils eyes. And as the music swelled, and she took her first step forward, she saw his lips move, saw him smile as he mouthed,

"I love you."


	57. Chapter 57

**Oh goodness. This is it. The last chapter. I just want to thank every single soul that read this story. It means so much to me that you all took the time and give it a chance. To all who reviewed, RedFoxy, XxPunkLeexX, CJPunkx, RockyCodyAJWadeWifey21, OrchidI007711, Punkler, Salvatoreannabeth, .Young, RunningOnCrazy, Ilynany, ConchaaRex, StraightEdgeCrazyChick, Princess Goodey Goodey, GotToLoveCrazyChicks, InspiredByDoubt, ScarsWillStay, AbbsRose, AmandaEchelon, BlairPunkers, Emma, Amanda and Guests. You are all fantastic and I appreciate all the words that were written in your reviews. Also you guys who favourited and followed. You are awesome. It was a pretty dark plot to begin wih but in the end, well I think they got their happy ever after?**

* * *

You couldn't hear a noise. Punk stood motionless as he heard the wedding march music vibrating around the park. His heart joined in with the melody and his stomach fluttered with joy. Punk was about to marry his 'star;' the one woman who really ever mattered to him. Slowly he turned around to face his bride as April walked poetically toward Punk holding on to Lee's arm. He had forgiven him and he kept his promise to them; Frank would not interfere!

Kaitlyn accompanied Freya up the make shift aisle, holding her hand as she toddled towards her father.

Lee looked at his sister with pride and Punk could see he was becoming emotional; rather like himself. AJ looked absolutely beautiful in her cream silk dress. It was off the shoulder and it accentuated her ample curves she received from motherhood with perfection. Punk loved how it nipped in tightly around her waist. She wore her brunette locks down and curled into rignlets at the ends, which made her look so young and innocent. She wore a matching shawl drapped over her arms. She was indeed radiant and that's when Punk realised why her dad had always called her 'his princess' because she was stunning!

When they finally reached Punk, Lee had the look on his face which suggested he was losing his little girl, the look that a father would have. He needn't have worried because she would always be his big sister; just that Punk would be looking after her now. He held AJs hand to Punks and slowly walked away.

AJ and Punks eyes locked and they both surveyed each other with their endless love. It all seemed unreal, as if they were dreaming. Had they really found happiness at long last? The Officiant who was conducting the wedding looked at them both and proceeded with the ceremony. Punk looked deep into her brown orbs and began his vows to her.

"I, Phillip Jack Brooks, take you, April Jeanette Mendez, to be my lawfully wedded wife, and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, my constant friend and my faithful partner. In the presence of our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love April. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honour you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."

AJ looked at him with her tears freely falling. Punk had never seen her more beautiful. She then gasped and composed herself to return her vows. She repeated exactly what he had said, but throughout it all Punk couldn't hear her. He was caught up in blissfulness of it all. His 'star' was marrying him. She wanted to be with him forever and that was overwhelming. Punk had never had someone love him like that, nor did he ever love someone like that either.

Punk held strong, there was no way he was going to cry in front of this crowd. AJ squeezed his hand to help compose himself. However, as she said her last line he had no further control of his emotions.

"…I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals…and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live." She then squeezed my hand again and smiled.

Punk wanted to go home straight away, for them to be alone together, to feel one another, and tell her how much he loved her. He was unsure of how he was going to last out the ceremony, let alone the reception.

When it was all done and the officiant ending the ceremony with, " You may now kiss your bride"

So that's what they did. Everything, sealed with a kiss. Passionate. Loving. This was one of the best moments of Punks life, the other, even in the circumstances, the first time he laid eyes on April. Remembering something his mother told him before she died.

"When you find love, just grab it with both hands;" and that was what he did.

* * *

**_Five Years Later..._**

Phillip Brooks clapped his hands together by the front door of his house, calling up the stairs. "Girls, lets go! Come on!"

After several moments with no answer, and he felt his impatience grow. "Freya! Come on, let's go if you want to see Mommy! Visiting hours are going to be over!"

"Daddy…"

He turned to see his youngest daughter, Polly, wandering in from the dining room, one foot with its shoe, the other bare.

"Daddy, I can't find my shoe," she said. "It disappeared."

Shaking his head at her with silent laughter, he smiled. "I thought they were both in your wardrobe."

She shrugged sweetly, her eyes wide. "Dunno."

Boosting her up onto his hip, he turned towards the stairs. "Freya, this train to visit Mom is leaving without you!"

"I'm coming!" he heard suddenly, and a pair of feet hit the floor above them.

"Grab your sister's shoe, will you?" he called. He glanced down at Polly's foot, checking out her shoe. "The purple one with the stars!"

Moments later Freya thundered down the stairs, her glossy brunette ponytail bouncing behind her.

"Here!" she said, breathless, thrusting the shoe at Punk. "It was under her bed **again**, way in the back."

Sitting quickly on the couch with Polly on his lap, he pulled her shoe on, strapping it tightly and giving her cheek a loud kiss. "Ready, gorgeous?"

He glanced up at Freya, who was pulling on a jumper. "Hey, Freya, come here a sec."

Wrapping an arm around her, he rubbed her back gently. "Listen, I want the two of you to pay attention. Mom's been through a lot these past few days, so I know that you want to jump up onto her bed and give her lots of kisses, but you need to be gentle, okay?"

Polly tugged on the front of his sweater. "Daddy, is Mommy coming home?"

Sighing, Punk tugged up the zipper on her jacket. "Not today, baby. But soon."

"Tomorrow?" Freya asked, her head dropping to his shoulder.

He smiled at her hopeful face. "Maybe tomorrow."

Letting out a little sigh, Freya jumped off the couch. "Dad, can we stop on the way and get Mom flowers?"

"Yes, we can," he grinned, standing up, still holding Polly. "But that means we have to get moving! We still have to stop at the pharmacy, too, and get your sister's pills, okay?"

Shooting towards the door, Freya tugged it open. "Then lets **go**!"

* * *

"Freya, **slow down**," Punk commanded. "You know you can't run in the hospital."

The seven year old spun around, her arms clutching the ridiculously large bouquet of flowers the girls had picked out for AJ. "Which room, which room, Dad?"

"**Slow down**," he repeated, his eyes widening just in time to see his kid run smack into Zack as he came around from the front desk, dressed in volenteer nurse scrubs.

"Woah there, chicken-eyes!" he laughed, grabbing onto Freya. "What're you up to?"

"We're here to see Mom, Zack!" Freya declared, shoving the flowers up for him to see. "Look!"

Zack tugged teasingly on Freya's ponytail before he raised his eyes to meet Punks. "She was just asking for you."

He frowned. "What's wrong? Is something wrong?"

Crossing the distance between them, he set Polly down, who grabbed a hold of his trouser leg, tilting her head back. Punk lowered his voice. "Is she alright?"

Zack shook his head slowly. "Sorry, Phil. Didn't mean anything like that. I think she was just hoping you were bringing the girls by."

He let out a breath slowly in relief. "Well, I had a client this morning and then I had to pick Pol up from her appointment and Freya up from school and run home." He glanced down at the two anxious little girls in front of him. "It took a little longer than we thought, huh?"

"Daddy!" Polly said loudly, her head tilted all the way back, her curly dark hair in two pom poms on the back of her head, her brown eyes wide. "Can we see Mommy now?"

He shot the amused Zack an apologetic look, scooping his youngest girl up. "Sorry, looks like their patience has finally run out. They were pretty upset I wouldn't bring them last night."

Laughing, Zack leaned down to sniff the flowers Freya was holding. "That's fine, I think April's more anxious than they are. I dropped in to check on her about twenty minutes ago."

Ruffling the young mans hair, Punk smiled. "Thanks, Zack. You and your new lady friend will have to come to dinner once I get April home." He paused. "Have you seen Josh?"

His grin lifting, Zack nodded. "He's doing great, Phil." He checked his watch. "Tell you what – I'll go fetch a nurse and tell her to bring him by in a few minutes once you let the girls greet April."

Punk smiled. "Perfect."

Zack winked at the girls, "See you little goblins later."

"We're **not **goblins!" The girls chimed in unison as he sped off.

Herding his kids down the hall, Punk felt Polly's small hand clutching his, and he watched as Freya danced ahead, skipping and chanting.

"What's the room number, Daddy? What's the number?"

"Ten forty-six," he told her quietly.

Freya scanned the plates with room numbers as she leapt ahead of them. "Here it is, here it is!" she called, jumping up and down outside the closed door. "Here it is!"

With the huge bunch of flowers, she was struggling with the door handle, and Punk helped her out, pushing his family through the door.

AJs face was turned towards the window when they entered, her hair in sharp contrast against the dark blue pillows, and he smiled.

"Mommy!" Polly cried from his arms, wiggling.

Swiveling her head quickly, his wife's face broke into the sweetest grin. "Hey, it's my girls!"

Freya ran to the bed, thrusting the huge bouquet at her mother, and Punk rolled his eyes at the way AJs eyes widened, pulling back to avoid flowers smacking her in the face.

"Freya," he murmured. "Watch it, sweetheart."

Polly was squirming with excitement, and he deposited the four year old on the other side of the bed next to her mother. "Remember what I said about being slow and gentle, kiddo."

The four year old crawled towards AJ, resting her head gently on her shoulder. "Hello, Mommy."

AJ dropped a kiss on the little girl's forehead. "Hi, baby. I missed you."

Freya boosted herself up on the other side of AJ. "Did it hurt, Mom? Can I see the scar?"

Laughing weakly, AJ pulled back the sheet and shoved her hospital gown to the side, showing the surgical tape that held her incision together to her daughter.

"Wow…" Freya said in awe. "What did they cut you with, Mom?"

Arching a brow, Punk turned to his wife. "Did you hear that?" he asked, incredulous. "She's going to be a surgeon…I told you."

Rolling her eyes, AJ turned to him. "Did you guys see Joshua first?"

Punk leaned down to kiss her forehead gently. "Zack's going to get a nurse to bring him by in a minute," he said quietly. He glanced at the girls, who were very, very gently tracing their mother's belly with their fingers, and his words were momentarily caught in his throat at the sight.

"How are you?" he asked her hoarsely, raising his eyes to hers again.

She closed her eyes, sighing. "Ready to be out of the hospital." She glanced down at Polly. "How was her doctor's appointment?"

He smiled, watching Polly draw a heart on AJs stomach with her finger. "Good. Her blood work is good – the doctor was really impressed."

AJ let out a sigh of relief, the same sigh she had let out every time over the last Four years. "Wonderful."

There was a knock at the door, and a nurse suddenly appeared, a small bundle in her arms.

"Oooh!" Freya said excitedly. "The baby!"

Sliding from the bed, she ran over to the nurse. "Can I see him?"

She leaned down, showing Freya the tiny face nestled in her arms, and Freya turned around towards her sister excitedly. "Pol, look!"

Punk burst out laughing as Polly tried to scramble down off the bed. Sweeping her back up, he kissed her cheek. "The nurse will bring him over here, petal. Just hang on a minute."

As she settled the small bundle in AJs arms, Punk gazed down at the face of his new son, Joshua Phillip Brooks, as his daughters crowded around.

"Hi, Josh!" Freya whispered excitedly, her eyes sparkling. "Hi!"

Smiling, AJ looked up at her family, her eyes finally resting on Punks. "Polly, Freya…meet your new brother."

**_THE END_**

* * *

**Sooooo, there you go. I have added something that could pave the way for a sequel. But that's up to you guys. Once again thank you all for your support on this, my first #PunkLee journey. It's been rad :)**


	58. Sequel Reminder

**Ok so I got a review for Hate this Place today asking if I was going to do a sequel. Well ****_CrazyChickMiho_****. Yes there is indeed a sequel. It's called ****All For Love****. I really should have done this before I started the new fic, so my apologies. Anyone who liked the dark, angsty vibes from this story will be very much suited to the sequel. I hope you enjoy it as much as you did this one :)**


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